Chapter Text
10:47am.
Edgar taps his foot impatiently on the sidewalk. The agreed meeting time was 10:20, the movie is gonna start in three minutes. The male sighs and shuts his phone off, pocketing the device and opting to observe the cars that come in and out of the parking lot.
In all the years that he’s known her, Melly Ndlovu has never been late. She’s a meticulous, efficient person. Well put-together with a straight head on her shoulders. She’s polite, and maintains her social courtesies just as she would her professional ones; perhaps even a little strict about it. She would never keep someone waiting, and the probability of Melly being late to any appointment or outing is equivalent to him submitting himself and accepting his inferiority to Bob Ross.
That being said, Edgar knows something is up. She would never be tardy, especially not on their first date.
He debates texting her and asking if all is well, but just as he brushes his fingers against his pocket, a familiar black lift-back Honda Civic rolls into the parking lot. Edgar scans the car, he’s dropped Melly off at her house several times before, and he recognizes the vehicle as the same one that was often parked in the driveway.
The male catches a brief glimpse of the license plate.
JMPMTHFKA
He quirks a brow at the letters.
Jump mothafucka?
Confirming his prior suspicions, the Honda slows to a stop in the middle of the lot; not long after, the back door opens and Melly steps out. At the sight of her, he feels a small shiver wrack through his rib cage. And when her gaze finally lands on him, the beating of his heart picks up.
The woman wastes no time in strolling on over to Edgar, greeting him with a smile, “Sorry that I’m late. There were some… complications.”
He tilts his head at her words, “Complications?”
“Yes.” She nods and sighs, bringing a hand up to exasperatedly rub her temples, “Which leads me to my next apology.”
Edgar opens his mouth to question her, but before anything comes out, a large, looming shadow casts itself over the pair. Slowly, the male turns around and is greeted by the sight of a familiar, scornful reptilian.
“Oh my god.” Edgar blurts out, shamelessly grimacing at the person (amphibian?) before him. Luchino Diruse Ndlovu. To be frank, they hated one another. Edgar thought Luchino was too brash and Luchino thought that Edgar didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. The brunette hated the senior with a passion, but to be fair, he hated all of the seniors.
“Mells, you’re going out with this twink?” Luchino asks distastefully, scowling at the other male.
Simultaneously, Edgar gawks at his date, cupping a hand over his mouth and whisper-yelling, “You didn’t tell me that your brother was the lizard ?!”
A small smirk twitches on Melly’s lips, “It seems like you’re both already acquainted, I suppose that saves me the trouble of introductions.” She turns to Edgar and her smirk dissipates into something more apologetic, “And yes. Sorry, I guess the topic never came up.”
“Why is he even here ? He hates me!”
“You know I can hear you, right?”
“He insisted on ‘Sizing you up’. I told him that I’d be fine but, it didn’t work.” The sound of a car turning off and a door opening and shutting causes Edgar to look at the now-parked Honda. Another familiar face steps out; tall, lanky, ridiculously long black hair, and a trade mark, ear-splitting grin.
Edgar’s jaw drops again. What the FUCK .
The black-haired male clicks a button on the car keys in his hand before slowly trudging over to the trio.
“Scusa per l'attesa, tesorino.” He says, kissing the side of Luchino’s face once he’s close enough. Edgar inwardly gags. “Got tired of waiting for a stall, so I took a handicap one.” The black-haired man explains. Then his grin stretches even wider, “With your backwards knees I think we can get away with it.”
Luchino scoffs, feigning offense. In response to the jest, the reptilian playfully jabs at the seams barely holding the other’s limbs together, “My knees, huh? Take a look at yourself, these would have been enough.”
Melly coughs into her fist, gaining everyone’s attention and redirecting it to the matter at hand. She looks at Edgar and motions towards the new individual, “Edgar, you already know Antonio.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Hm.” Antonio finally notices Edgar, head reeling back ever so slightly at the realization, “Melly, dear… don’t tell me this is him..?”
Luchino threw his hands up, “That’s what I was saying!”
Edgar groans, “Can you two buzz off?”
“Like hell I’m leaving my sister with you! You bet your scrawny ass that we’re third and fourth wheeling this little ‘date’ of yours.” Luchino crosses his arms, “You want my approval on this relationship, Valden? Then ya better fuckin’ work for it.”
Edgar scowls and looks at Melly for some guidance. She answers him with a sigh and a head-shake that tells him, Just go with it.
So, reluctantly, Edgar complies through gritted teeth.
“ Fine .”
The Golden Rose theater is beautiful, on both the inside and the outside. It certainly upholds it’s name, in the way that golden roses line the walls and pillars, adorning each doorway and every counter top.
“What movie are you guys watching anyway?” Luchino asks.
Edgar answers, “Monsters University.”
“Nerd shit.”
“Melly picked it.”
“I love nerd shit.”
The group splits into their respective pairs. Antonio wanted to check out one of the claw machines, and while Luchino was hesitant to leave his sister with her date, he decided to follow his boyfriend. Melly and Edgar took this opportunity to stand in line for snacks, chatting as they wait for their turn to order.
Melly asks an interesting question, “Did you know that this theater used to be a proscenium?”
Edgar raises a hand to his chin thoughtfully, “I vaguely remember reading about something like that. Why ask?”
“As legend has it, one of the main actresses who performed here fell to her death on stage. If I recall correctly, her name was Lachesis.”
“And what? Now it’s haunted?”
“Cursed.” Melly corrects, “Do you remember that paper we had to write in Freshman year? About that play, Atropos Ropes?”
“Yeah.”
“The main actress, Madame Belladonna? She fell to her death on the same stage, in the exact same way as Lachesis.” A small chill runs up Edgar’s back.
“But that’s probably just some crazy coincidence, no? Wasn’t the backstage elevated? Anyone could have fallen from there.”
“Yes, but listen—“ Melly looks at him with an expression that is nothing but serious, “Madame Bella wasn’t just some random actress.. she was Lachesis’s replacement .”
The weight behind that fact settles into Edgar, “ Oh .”
Melly nods, “After those two incidents, the theater staff believed that whoever performed on that stage, as the main actress, would meet the same fate. To avoid any more deaths, they shut the proscenium down and turned it into a movie theater.”
“Hmmm.” Edgar had to admit, the odds of those deaths happening in the exact same place and the exact same way are strangely inexplainable...but, “I don’t believe in curses. Or hauntings, ghosts— any of that nonsense.” The line moves forward, the pair follows, “I didn’t know you were interested in that kind of stuff?”
Melly shrugs, “Me? Not really, no.” Then she nods her head in the direction of the claw machine. Edgar glances over to see Luchino and Antonio, dead set on getting a prize from the rigged game, “But Antonio likes topics regarding the supernatural.” She says, “Luchino didn’t believe in that sort of thing before either, but I believe Antonio rubbed off on him.”
“Next in line!”
Melly and Edgar redirect their attention to the cashier, stepping forward and scanning the menu of available food items.
Melly speaks up after a brief glance at the screen, “Two popco— oh. Hello, Mike.”
Edgar snaps his head down to face the worker in front of him, and lo and behold, there stands Mike Morton in all his glory; dressed in the theater staff uniform.
“Heyyyyy y’all!” The blonde chirps, “I didn’t believe Norton when he said Edgar finally confessed, but I guess he was right!”
“ Michael .” Edgar greets dryly.
Melly pipes in, “I didn’t know you worked here, Mike?”
“Yup! Sure do! Only part time though, I just need some extra cash for bomb materials since Bernard won’t chip in. Hear me out—“ Mike does the ‘X, X everywhere’ motion with his arm, “— acid bombs.”
“…”
“That’s a terrible idea.”
“Only with that attitude.” Mike crosses his arms over the cash register and leans forward, resting his chin on it, “Now, what can I get the lovely couple?”
“Two popcorns please.” Melly answers.
“Buttered?”
“Yes.”
“Anything to drink?”
“Water is fine for me…” Melly looks at Edgar, a silent notion that urges him to choose his beverage.
Edgar catches the cue, “Lipton.”
Mike types the prices of the drinks into the cash register, then glancing up at something behind the couple, “And then what about you two?”
“Root beer two times.”
Edgar looks over his shoulder at the sudden voice and sees Luchino and Antonio standing behind them; a small, ugly Shrek doll in the latter’s grasp.
Edgar makes a face. Luchino sees it and returns the sneer.
After a few beeps, Mike looks up at the group with a grin, “Will that be all?”
Melly nods, “Yes, thank you.”
“Alrighty!” Mike types something else into the cash register, “Tell ya what. I’ll give you all a discount! Take it as my congratulatory gift in celebration of your first date!”
“Oh, Mike, you really don’t have to—“
“Nonsense!” The blonde interrupts, shushing any more of Melly’s attempts at dissuading him, “Accept this piece of my goodwill! Your total is nowww—“ He glances at the screen, “— fifteen forty nine!”
Melly gratefully says, “Thank you so much, Mike. Really.”
But the blonde waves a dismissive hand at her, “Don’t worry about it, Mells! Lemme go get your drinks.” Mike leaves the cash register to grab some cups. As they wait for him, a familiar eight-limbed figure is seen making their bags of popcorn.
Luchino nods his head in greeting, “Sup, Vi’.”
Antonio idly waves at her, “Good morning, ‘Letta.”
The spider-looking lady pauses her task and waves back kindly, “Good morning you two!” As she finishes filling the two bags, she scuttles on over to the counter and hands the group their snacks, “I overheard your chat with Mike! Good luck on your date!”
Violetta is probably one of the only seniors that Edgar can tolerate. She’s generally kind, well, most of the time.
Edgar nods at her, “Thank you.”
The rest of the group thanks her as well.
Once Mike gets back with the drinks and rings them up, the four bid their final goodbyes and leave the concession stand to find their correct auditorium. Luckily, they didn’t miss the beginning of the film. Turns out that all that time they spent getting their food was just enough time to ride out the ads that play before the movie starts.
The room is dark, so Melly holds Edgar’s hand to keep them together as she navigates through the isles of seats to find their spots.
Luchino and Antonio actually don’t have tickets. But luckily, the room is pretty empty aside from two other families who are already present and seated. The two follow Melly and Edgar, choosing to sit in the seats in the row right behind them.
Melly doesn’t let go of Edgar’s hand even once they’re situated, not that he’d want her to. As the movie begins, she turns to her date speaks quietly, “Sorry again, I really tried to get him off my back but…”
“Don’t worry about it.” Edgar whispers back, “I’m just glad that you’re here with me.”
At his words, a small smile rises onto her face. She squeezes his hand, “How sweet. I hope I get to see more of this side of you now that we’re together…”
Edgar smirks at the playful remark, replying with one of his own, “Perhaps you will.”
A breathless chuckle is shared between the two, before they slowly lean in towards one another. But the moment is ruined by a swift kick delivered to the back of Edgar’s chair. The male jerks at the impact, snapping his head towards the culprit and glaring. Luchino grunts irritably.
“No kissing.”
Edgar sighs with frustration, begrudgingly complying and turning back to the screen. Melly had told him before that her family was a group of worry-warts, and that they became especially vigilant over her love life after her last boyfriend. That being said, Edgar knew that Luchino was just trying looking out for her.
But… he really didn’t have to be such a dick about it.
Edgar is quick to stomp down any irritation that flared up within him.
I have to make a good impression with Melly’s family. I have to make a good impression with Melly’s family.
Melly sighs as well, disappointed, but nonetheless says nothing and directs her attention to the movie.
It’s about half-way through the movie
Luchino managed to wedge his giant ass lizard feet between the space of Melly and Edgar’s chairs. He kept his ankles (?) crossed over one another, faux-resting the taloned appendages on the arm rest where Edgar and Melly originally had their hands linked.
But with Luchino’s feet in the way, the two were forced to let go and keep their hands in their own laps.
“…”
“…This date is lame.”
“Can you shut up?”
In response, Luchino wiggles and shoves his feet in Edgar’s direction.
“Eat feet, Valden.”
“What the fuck—“
The family a few seats down from them glares at Edgar, a loud round of “SHHHHH!!” Coming from them.
He cringes. Right. There’s kids here.
Luchino cackles silently, high-fiving Antonio before finally relenting and leaving Edgar alone.
Once the movie is finished, Luchino stretches and groans exaggeratedly, putting excessive effort into making it seem like he was bored the entire time. Edgar rolls his eyes.
As the group exits the theater, the reptilian and musician walk slow, deliberately staying behind the other two and whispering amongst themselves. Melly casts them a suspicious look.
Edgar notices this and leans a little closer to her, “What’s wrong?”
She continues to observe her brother and future in-law, murmuring back, “…I’m a little concerned over what they may be talking about.”
Edgar follows her gaze, and he can’t help but agree. They are acting a bit weird. Once they all make it into the parking lot, Luchino finally speaks up.
“You got a curfew, Valden?”
“No?”
“Good.” Luchino crosses his arms, “That movie was corny. Antonio and I are gonna show you two what a real date is like.”
“Oh no.” Melly mutters.
Antonio chuckles, idly making his way to the car and pulling the keys from his pocket. He unlocks it and opens the back door, motioning for Edgar to get in, “Get in, Edgar.”
The aforementioned male gawks, “What? No. I don’t even know where you’re taking me.”
“To the woods so that we can jump you and hide your body. Now come on.”
Edgar is promptly shoved into the back seat. He sputters in protest, but before he can even process anything, everyone’s in the car and they’re on the highway to god knows where.
“This is kidnapping.”
“Is it?” Antonio muses, taking an exit into a more rural area, “I’d like to think of it as more of a… surprise outing. Say, do you like Beethoven, Edgar?” Before Edgar can say anything, Antonio turns the radio volume up and all of Edgar’s complaints are drowned out by classical violin music.
“I DON’T LIKE BEETHOVEN.”
“WHAT WAS THAT? SORRY. I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THIS FIRE VIOLIN SONATA.”