Chapter Text
It was a sunny day and the boys decided to meet up just to spend some time together. Even if while on tour they're always together and crave some time alone when they get back, they still sometimes liked to spend some time together, meet at one of their places, have pizza and just do whatever (watch concerts on tv, play randoms games,…)
This time, everyone went to Paul's place… Well actually not everyone
"Did anyone managed to reach Till?" Richard asked raising an eyebrow. He's been trying to reach him a few times since the tour ended but to no avail. And even if he wouldn't anyone else to notice (hell he wouldn't even admit it to himself) he was getting worried.
Everyone noticed that he got kinda extra those last months. But while most of them felt it was just Till's normal self, just reinforced by months of being stuck at home not being able to perform, Richard felt there was something else… And Till was one of his best friends, and he couldn't help being worried for him… Or was it more than that?
"Nah, tried again this morning but nothing. Pretty sure he's in the middle of nowhere fishing and enjoying some time alone. You know how he is after a tour. He just needs his alone time and in a few weeks, we'll be hearing non stop about all those amazing ideas he had for songs while being stuck during a storm in some random cabin." Paul said with a smirk and everyone laughed at that.
Well Richard didn't, but still grinned not to make it too obvious.
"Yeah you're probably right" he said and stood up, reaching into his pocket and taking out his pack of cigs "Be right back".
He stepped out and lit a cancer stick, slowly taking drags of it looking up to the sky.
"What's wrong with you?" he wispered, not really knowing if he was wondering about Till or himself.
Things changed for him to this tour. Again, as always seeing his luck with women, he ended up being dumped and spending the last part of the tour as if nothing happened. He didn't need his bandmates to remind him how he always chose people that would hurt him in the end… As if he did it on purpose… This time alone gave him way too much time to get lost in his own thoughts… Covid hadn't been easy on anyone. Many people came to rethink their whole life and start over. And while Richard knew he wouldn't leave the band or change that part of his life, he felt something else…
With every show and Till's forehead bleeding almost every night, he grew worried for him… But also he felt lost… Sure Till was his friend and he didn't want him to badly hurt himself. But he felt there was more than that. And just like he didn't feel ready to totally admit it and realise what it was, knowing that every gig the singer would find fans (or for that matter any woman) to spend some time with didn't really help him either.
Now that they were back home though, and Till not answering his phone just made the strange feeling in his stomach even worse… He was falling in love with him…. Hell no, he was ALREADY in love with him. And while he couldn't bring himself to say it (even more to Till himself) he wanted to be near him, make sure he was alright… And while he knew he looked tiny next to the singer, he still wanted to take care of him…. And that's why he tried to reach him maybe too often those last weeks. At least probably more than anyone else in the band.
He stubbed out his cigarette and went back inside before the others could suspect anything.
"So what are we playing tonight?" He said with a smile going back to take his spot next to Paul on the couch.
------------------------------
*the next day*
*10 missed calls*
Till looked at his phone and sighed while composing the number of his voicemail. He could bet he had at least a call from any of his band mates, but that would make 6 calls… He listened to them and all were saying the same thing. Basically planning a night at Paul's wondering if he would be there… Flake actually called him a second time, wondering if he was ok… Then all the last calls were from the same person…
"Scholle…" he wispered sadlly… The only person he wanted to hear from, and yet the last person he wanted to hear from. Richard was probably happy at home with his girlfriend and Till had no right to just bash in his life and fuck up everything.
"Why can't you leave me alone?" he said, and felt the pit in his stomach getting bigger. Of course he wanted the opposite. He wanted to call him back, to tell him how much he missed him, how he wanted to spend all his time with him… But he couldn't…. He shouldn't…. He was a mess and he knew how fragile Richard could be at time. Even more after what happened with Covid.
He got up and headed to his bedroom.
"Need to get away" he took out a bag and started packing. As always when he needed to get away from everyone, he would pack some clothes, a new notebook and leave the city for a few days…
Not only would this give him time to think and maybe write, but where he was heading, there would be no network… So no more bandmates calling him…. And no temptation for him to answer Richard's next call and do something really stupid.
While in the bathroom, he looked at what was left of the broken mirror… From the tiny pieces left, he could still see the dark circles around his eyes and how his face seemed slimmer…. He had to eat again at some point soon. And not only spend his night drinking… He then looked at his hand. He finally took care of the wounds, but the cuts still looked nasty and often opened up again.
He opened one of the cabinet and took out anything he needed to properly bandage his hand. That wouldn't be smart to go in the middle of nowhere and take the risk of it getting infected.
He closed the bag and got ready to leave…. But just as he opened the door, he realised someone was actually standing in front of it.
"Richard?" He said confused looking at the guitarist standing there in front of him, visibly also lacking sleep.
"Going anywhere?" Said the man, pushing his way to get inside.
"Well, sure come in" Till said, dropping the bag and closing the door. Seems he wouldn't leave so soon…