Chapter Text
No one was dead, Trowa noted. That was a start. A. few of the men lying crumpled or the asphalt might take some weeks to recover, but a few broken bones were hardly worth whining over if you’d just survived Heero Yuy.
Sure, Une would see things differently. But Trowa wasn’t gonna tell her.
What they all got up to in their off hours, well, long as they survived it, was best not to put in writing. Especially not anything about late night phone calls and riding off to find Heero outside a bar with bloody knuckles and wild eyes. This was the sort of thing you kept to yourself.
Trowa didn’t approach until Heero’s gaze focused on him. Until it was clear he was seeing more than another target.
“Having a good time?”
“You tracked my phone.” It wasn’t a question.
“You call at 3:00 a.m. and hang up before I can answer? Damn right I did.”
“My phone.”
“You’re not that much better than me. C’ mon. Give me your keys. We’re going for a drive.”
“I can drive.”
“No one said you couldn’t. Keys.”
No response, just Heero glaring like he thought he could stare Trowa down. Funny. He waited. A sigh, neon glittering on brass, and Trowa grabbed the keys from the air. At least Heero was being reasonable. His version of reasonable anyway. Close enough.
No words exchanged as they got in the car, leaving Trowa’s bike behind. No question of where or why as he started driving, because that wasn’t what this was about. What it was about he didn’t know yet. Probably nothing good. Heero wasn’t exactly in the habit of getting in bar fights out of an excess of good feeling. And he’d been there without Duo. Trowa didn’t do worry, but it was sure as hell something to note. Most days, Duo didn’t let the Heero out of his sight.
Patience. Trowa was good at patience. They dove at least ten minutes in silence, just city lights and the thrum of the engine. Trowa took turns at random. Not heading anywhere. Just... away.
“Duo’s fucking Wufei.” As conversation starters went, Heero got points for directness.
Shit. Not surprising. But. Shit. Maybe Trowa did do worried.
“Chang finally made a move?” Trowa took another turn, heading toward the edges of town, where the streets were empty, the buildings hollow. “Took him long enough. Poor bastard.”
“You knew?” Clear accusation in Heero’s words, but Trowa didn’t take it personally. ‘Accusing’ was Heero’s default.
“Sure.”
“How long?”
“Fuck, I don’t know. Forever. Years. Maybe since the war. It’s not like we’ve talked about it. Chang isn’t exactly Mr. ‘Let’s sit down and talk about feelings.’” None of them were. Even Quatre. Oh, he’d talk about your feelings, but just try asking him how he’d been lately and see how far you got.
“Anyone else know?” Heero’s hand curled into a fist, blood oozing sluggishly from his knuckles. Anger? Hurt? With Heero they were frequently the same thing.
“Don’t think so. Quatre, maybe. Duo shoulda seen it, but he’s never been all that observant when it comes to his own shit.” And he’d been too much of a wreck over Heero, lately, to notice. Trowa shot a sideways glance at the man, wondering if he should say as much. Maybe it wasn’t the time. “What’s your problem with it?”
“Wufei should have told me.”
The laugh came easy and maybe a little cruel. Well, why not? He’d gotten sick of watching Duo break just about as soon as it’d started. Sick of how Heero just let it happen.
“Why the fuck would he do that? Don’t care if Duo is in love with you. Doesn’t mean you get to decide who he screws. Wufei’s not gonna ask you for his fucking hand.”
Heero turned away at that. Staring at the broken windows and boarded storefronts so common on this side of town. The set of his shoulders radiating tension. More anger. No. Shame. Well, both.
“He did ask, didn’t he?”
A shrug. It sure as hell wasn’t a denial. “He told me to stop playing with him. To do something.”
“And you said you didn’t want him.” The whole of it taking shape now.
“More or less.”
How very Wufei. Checking all the boxes first. Pushing Heero to act, trying to give Duo what he wanted before asking anything for himself. Fuck. That seemed-. What had he been he thinking? What were any of them thinking?
Nevermind. It was Heero in the passenger seat. Disarm the explosive in front of you before attempting to disarm those in front of others. Wasn’t that the saying?
“And now you think you do.”
“No.” A low snarl of rejection. And then. “Not like that. I don’t want to fuck him. Just-.” Heero cut himself off with a sharp shake of his head. The silence stretched and stretched until even Trowa was tempted to break it. “I didn’t think he’d leave me.”
“They’re screwing, not picking out rings.” Trowa couldn’t help the sarcasm. Duo’d been too obviously hurt for too long.
“You know what I mean.” Heero was looking at him again, the scales tipping back toward anger. “He’s getting what he wants now.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Trowa kept his tone level, but barely. Glanced over to Heero, but could barely see him. Not many streetlights, in this neighborhood. Just an angry shadow in his passenger seat. “It’s Duo. You really think- What? That he couldn’t have gotten laid every day of the week if he wanted to? Fuck, he could have worked his way through the whole damn office. Une included. Me included.”
“You too?” A low growl. Now Heero thought he could threaten him. Cute.
“No. Christ. But I’ve got eyes. Listen, Yuy.” If he hadn’t been driving, Trowa would have shaken him. Probably for the best that he couldn’t. “He’s followed you around since the day you two met. Don’t think getting laid is going to change that.”
Silence again and the shadow that was Heero sat back against the chair, no longer tensed to spring. Trowa watched him out of the corner of his eye, listened as his breathing settled into a calmer rhythm. Waited until he didn’t seem quite so ready for another fight.
“But Wufei’s not after a lay,” Trowa kept the words quiet and level.” Not if I know him.”
Wufei watched Duo like, well, like Duo watched Heero. If more subtly.
Heero’s breathing sharpened again. Well, at least that meant he was listening. “Meaning?”
“Meaning the bastard’s possessive, controlling and extremely thorough.”
“You’re saying he’d hurt him?” Heero’s voice went cold. Colder. All menace. “I’d kill him.”
“Duo’s a big boy. He can kill him himself. Fuck knows he’s-.” Trowa cut himself off. Heero hadn’t visited Duo on L2. “Chang lives by a code. He’d slit his own throat before he’d hurt Duo. But he’ll sure as hell try to keep him.” He let his breath out in a sigh, raked his fingers through his hair. Wondering how to say this so that Heero might hear it. He needed to hear it. “Heero, someone needs to. You can’t have missed it. He’s not-. He needs someone.”
“I thought he had me.” The snarl was edged with hurt. “But that’s not enough, is it? Because I won’t fuck him.”
“Don’t an asshole.” Trowa turned, sharp and sudden, tires squealing. “Look, I won’t say Duo hasn’t been trying to turn you into his one stop shop. But what the fuck are you offering him? Conversation? Comfort? You been sitting with him through nightmares?” It didn’t matter that Duo’d never mentioned bad dreams. They all had them. “Talking him past his demons?” His grip on the steering wheel’d gotten too tight. He forced himself to relax. “I see you together. Most days, you don’t even look at him. He’s convenient. Looks after you. And you tolerate him.”
“That’s not...” But Heero trailed off into silence.
“Look,” Trowa set aside the anger. They were all broken. All bad at this. “What do you want?”
“I can’t lose him.”
“Because he drags you outside occasionally and reminds you to eat?”
“No. We-.” Heero turned back to the window. “Maybe I don’t want to sleep with him. But I still-.”
Still loved him. Fuck. Trowa briefly wished for Quatre. This mess was more his speed. Draw the wrong card, place the wrong bet, and you lost all three of them. But give Quatre an inch and he’d take the world entire. No. This was his to deal with.
He focused on the road, turning them back toward the city lights, away from the dark of the outskirts. No lights. Because no one wanted to see. To think about all the hollow places still left behind. The scars that never healed.
“Can you share?” he asked, at last. The question a little quieter than he intended. Hesitant, if Trowa were the sort to do hesitant.
“What?”
“Can you share? Because if you tell Duo tomorrow not to go near Wufei again, he’ll listen. But you better be ready to step the fuck up. Not talking sex. Everything else. He’s breaking. Someone’s gotta catch the pieces. You think you can do it alone?” He waited for the words to sink in before adding. “Because if you can’t, you really lose him. We all do.”
A slow, controlled breath. “You think Wufei’ll help him better than I can.”
Fucking martyr.
“I think you and Wufei have always made a good team, when you both saw the value in the mission. Still means stepping up. Chang’s got no patience with anyone who half-asses a job. You can’t do your part, he’ll do it himself.”
“And I lose him.” Nothing in his voice in that moment. Just a chill statement of fact.
“And you lose him,” Trowa agreed, then waited in silence while Heero considered. Looking at the problem from all angles. He always did.
“You think it would work?” Heero’s voice was an uneasy mix of skepticism and hope. He still wasn’t looking at Trowa. Or anyway, if he was, he was watching his reflection in the dark glass. Always hard to tell, with Heero.
“Think it could. Wouldn’t be easy. And it’s not a decision you can make.” Trowa hesitated. Thoughtful. Heero wasn’t the only one who liked to see all the angles. “Duo’d roll with it, I think. Wufei? Might take some convincing. Don’t think there’s much he wouldn’t try, for Duo.”
“Since the war, huh?” Heero no longer sounded angry at the idea. Considering, yes. Weighing the worth of an ally, maybe.
“Pretty much. He’s patient.” And thick, at times. Trowa was fairly certain it’d taken years for Wufei to even admit to himself how he felt.
“Stubborn.”
“That, too.” He turned east, back toward Heero and Duo’s place. “Think about it.”
“Yeah.”
It was enough. A start. A possibility. Better than Wufei and Heero fighting over Duo like the only gun in the room.
“You wanna crash at mine tonight?” he asked. The offer was only partly generous. If Heero stayed with him, it’d be a lot easier to retrieve his bike.
“Makes sense.” Heero drummed his fingers on the dash, then shook his head. “No. I should-. I don’t know when Duo’ll be back.”
“Sure.”
Town gunned the engine. Drove toward the glittering brilliance of downtown, watching Heero watch shadows. Maybe finally seeing.
Maybe.