Chapter Text
“Oi, asshat! That cookie is mine and you know it!” Ace yelled as he swiped for the baked good in Deuce’s grip. “Nuh-uh, Trey said we got two each! And you totally had your share already! I saw you eating one earlier!” The taller (by a single centimeter) boy retorted. “Yeah, but I only had that one! I was saving the second one for later, and by later I mean NOW!” Ace hurled back, trying to grab the cookie again. “And I could say the same to you! I saw you stuffing one into your mouth between classes, you bastard!”
This argument had been going on for a solid three minutes now.
Both students had popped out of their rooms for a cheeky midnight snack around the same time, two sets of eyes falling upon the cookies left on the kitchen island by Trey. While there were meant to be two cookies per dorm member, only a single one was left on the tray. Yet both boys claimed they only had one of their two cookies. Which obviously meant the other was lying. Obviously there was no other way this could have happened. Obviously.
Regardless of who was trying to steal whose cookie, the two students, in true freshman manner, were not exactly keeping their voices down. Nearly the whole dorm was awake at this point, a few students even poking their heads into the kitchen to see what the hell was going on, unsurprised to see a certain duo.
But the peekers scuttered away when they heard a soft clicking of heels walking down the hall, a sound the two boys didn’t notice over their bickering.
“Ahem.”
The argument came to an abrupt stop as the freshman slowly turned their heads towards the voice. And then down a little to meet said voice’s eyes.
“Great Seven, do you even know what time it is?” Riddle asked, obviously ready to snap if the wrong words left someone's mouth, wearing a freakishly intimidating expression for a man wearing fluffy heart patterned pajamas with knee high boots.
“Ah, it is really late, I guess I forgot everyone else was sleeping.” Ace realized, freeing Deuce’s wrist from his nearly bone shattering grip. The blue haired boy massaged the joint a bit to relieve the pain. “Our bad, Housewarden.” Deuce spoke quietly, cursing himself silently for his not-so-honor-student behavior.
“Well, yes that, but look at the time!”
Ace and Deuce turned their eyes to the clock on the oven, which displayed 2:37 AM. Ace opened his mouth to speak.
“...Yeah? It’s late, I realize that n-”
“Not that!” Riddle nearly yelled, clearing his throat once he noticed he almost committed the same crime as the freshmen in front of him. “Rule 327: One may only bicker in the kitchen between the hours of 1:30 AM and 2:45 AM if it is a lover’s quarrel.” He recited with perfect memory.
The color drained from the faces of the underclassmen. They were totally screwed. Ace kissed his magic goodbye silently.
Riddle lifted his magic pen and pointed between Ace’s eyes, which were shut and braced for impact.
“OFF WITH YOUR HE-”
“Wait!” Cried Deuce in a panic. Surprisingly, Riddle complied, lowering his pen slightly. Yet the freshman did not continue his statement for a moment, mind too busy racing with thoughts of the alchemy exam the next day. The exam Mr. Crewel would not exempt him from, even if he were magicless for the day. He’d fail the class for sure! Imagine what his mother would think if he were held back a year! Honor students don’t fail alchemy exams!
“Well?” Riddle asked, expectant for some weak defense. His pen was already aimed at the duo again, ready to fire any second.
Ace noticed his classmate stumbling for an excuse, lips opening and closing with possibilities, so he decided to do the noble thing, and cover for him. What a hero!
“Actually, Mr. Rosenhearts,” He said confidently, throwing an arm around Deuce’s shoulders and bringing him closer. “Deucey and I are actually dating. So this was, indeed, a lover’s quarrel. No rules broken here, sir!”
Deuce felt as if his jaw had made contact with the tiled floor. The room suddenly felt much colder as his face heated up, cheeks nearly as red as the Housewarden’s hair.
“WE’RE WHA-”
Ace sensed his friend’s words were about to get them both locked in heart shaped collars, so he did what any wise man would do in this situation.
He grabbed his pal by the cheeks, and pulled him in for a kiss.
When finally released, Deuce could only release a series of confused squeaking sounds, almost similar to when Idia smashed his keyboard when using his text to speech program. He remained frozen in shock while Ace continued handling the situation (“like a pro”, or so he believed).
“See?” Ace proclaimed smugly.
Riddle was also clearly in shock, mouth agape and blue eyes wide as saucers. With another clearing of his throat, he regained his composure, unlike Deuce who was still out of service from the embarrassment, nearly a puddle on the floor at this point.
“Very well, I’m happy for you two. Best of luck.” The Housewarden surprisingly said, returning his pen to his side. He turned around and began exiting the kitchen as Ace let out a silent sigh of relief.
But he revoked that relief as the short boy stopped in the entrance to the kitchen, sucking that sigh back into his body.
“But if I find out this was a scheme to escape punishment,” Riddle announced, turning to make eye contact with Ace. “It’ll be off with your head.”
Ace and Deuce remained frozen in fear until they could no longer hear the click clack of heels walking down the hall.
“Man, I can’t believe that guy uses his heels as slippers, is that another rule or someth-”
He was quickly shut up by hands gripping his shoulders tightly, shaken back and forth quickly by an obviously frazzled Deuce.
“What the hell, man!” He whisper-screamed, painfully aware that the Housewarden was still awake and just down the hall. “We aren’t dating!? What!?”
“Relax, man.” Ace just calmly removed the hands on his shoulders, seemingly unfazed by what just happened. “It was just a little white lie to save our necks, is all! I just saved your alchemy grade, so be thankful!”
While that last part was true, Deuce couldn’t help but morph his face into a deadpan.
“Ace. If he figures out you were lying, we’re fucked.” He said, now dead eyes locked with the redhead’s. “The second he realizes we aren’t dating, he’s gonna totally kill us.”
Ace took a second to process this information. His face paled as he realized the blue haired boy was right.
“Shit.”
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Cater tuned into the conversation in the kitchen with his ear pressed up against the wall between it and his bedroom, eating his third cookie of the day. Oops.