Chapter Text
“So, was that The Guy?”
Varian ignored his friend’s inquiry in favour of wiping away the tears threatening the corners of his eyes. Angry tears, the bane of his existence for sure.
‘You’re so over emotional.’
‘Whoa, I’m sorry, didn’t know you were so sensitive.’
‘Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.’
He wasn’t over emotional, or sensitive, and his feelings were hardly ever hurt. He was just pissed! He had a right to get pissed and talk and cry all at the same time. People never realized that. It was just a small, uncontrollable reaction of his body.
Once all the tears were gone he turned to Nuru in a huff, crossing his arms as he spoke, refusing to meet her eyes.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s no The Guy. Anyways, didn’t you say that pizza was done?”
The smell of freshly cooked frozen pizza drifted from the kitchen and Varian was quick to follow the scent. He just needed some food in his stomach and a movie to numb up his mind a bit and then he would be fine. Hugo would continue to be a distant memory with their latest interaction fading into nothing more than an annoying itch against the back of his brain. Like a mosquito bite.
A dumb, blond, charming mosquito.
Nuru had other plans though and really, how dare she? As his best friend she was supposed to be supportive of his emotional repression. How rude of her, then, to continue the line of conversation.
“You know,” Varian could feel the sarcasm dripping from her voice already, “The Guy who you were friends with for years? The Guy that I found you crying over in the back of the library when we first met? The Guy who you told me you shared your first kiss with, who you were one hundred percent certain was going to take you to prom one day, The Guy who-”
“Not ringing any bells. You want a float to drink? I’m gonna make a float.”
The feeling of Nuru’s eyes against his back made his whole body ripple with a shiver. He loved her persistence, just not when it was pointed at him.
The door to the freezer was only half way open before she came around and slammed her hand on it, forcing him to look back at her.
Why did she have to have such pretty eyes? Why did they have to be filled with such concern?
“Varian.” She always managed to strike a perfect balance of firm and gentle; it was a balance that always broke him whenever he was trying to hide. It coaxed him out, brought him into the light of her presence, and when that happened there was no turning back from whatever conversation she wanted to have.
It was one of the many things about Nuru that made him love her.
“Yeah that was him. Obviously.” His words earned him a flick to the nose.
“Don’t get all snarky, sad boy on me. It never works out in your favour.”
Nothing was working out in his favour at the moment to begin with. Not even twenty minutes ago he was getting ready to have a nice relaxing summer night with his best friend.
Now he was trying not to cry again. Fantastic.
Nuru, bless her to any god that would listen, let him have his moment once she finally got the acknowledgement that she desired. She put a hand on his shoulders and guided him back over to the slowly cooling pizza where she began to cut it up into nice big slices.
Varian stood in silence for all of it, chewing at his lip as he moved from getting the plates to fixing the drinks to heading back upstairs. This wasn’t how his night was supposed to go, it wasn’t.
It wasn’t until they were both upstairs in his room, sitting comfortably in their den of pillows and blankets, that Nuru spoke again.
“You’re really out of his league, you know. You could do better. I’m not just saying this as your friend; you could do more than a scrawny, ponytail-wearing asshole with an undercut. He walks around every day looking like the world's worst Milo Thatch cosplayer.”
The suddenness of the statement caused Varian to laugh, resulting in some of the hot, liquidy pizza sauce going up his nose. He really had to start buying a better brand.
He coughed, trying not to choke on his own food as Nuru hastily patted his back.
“Well, I didn’t think he was that ugly.” She smirked after it was clear that her best friend wasn’t going to die from laughing at one of her comments. It would be the best way to go, however.
“Shut up. This is legally considered an assassination attempt.”
Giggles died down to little exhales of breath as Nuru moved herself behind Varian. Her well-manicured hands went to his scalp and he melted into her touch. Butter on a pan, that’s what he was. Having his hair played with always calmed him down, ever since he was little. It was nicer now that his hair was shorter; fingers didn’t have to comb all the way down to his waist, didn’t get tangled in knots or caught on strands.
He let himself close his eyes as he leaned back into her, his breathing evening out into a near sleep-like state. Which, unfortunately, made him more honest.
“I miss him,” he confessed.
Nuru hummed at that, giving her tongue a little click, but he knew that the picture he’d painted of his former friend wasn’t the kindest one.
As she’d reminded him, she found him in the back of the library, bawling his eyes out as he hid in the chemistry section where no one dared to go. She had leaned down and tapped him on the shoulder, asking what had happened and if he was ok. Such kindness to a complete stranger. He couldn’t help himself; he had thrown his heartbroken body at her and cried. And, to his surprise back then, she’d hugged him back.
She hadn’t even known his name and she had shown him more compassion in a single gesture than his entire school had.
He sobbed to her about his friend, how he hadn’t texted him back in weeks, how everyone at school thought he was a freak, or confused. Worst of all were the people who treated him like a novelty.
Nuru sat with him for almost an hour of ranting and crying and getting everything out. Then, once his eyes were dryer and his voice significantly rawer, she held out her hand to him and introduced herself.
When asked why she had sat there, why she held him when he was nothing more than a weirdo crying in a library, she smiled at him. There wasn’t any pity on her face, no shame, none of the awkwardness that he’d expect from the situation. No, instead there was the look of absolute and total relief.
‘Because I’m…I’m like you.’
His first taste of community.
And now she was tsking at him as she played with his hair. Her first introduction to Hugo had been his name stuttered through tears on a painfully scratchy carpet floor. Her most recent one wasn’t fairing much better.
“You’re going to tell me I shouldn’t, but it’s just that I always imagined what it would be like for him to actually talk to me again. I had all these big grand things I wanted to say. I thought maybe it would be satisfying to watch him squirm. Or maybe he would give me a really good apology and we could start being friends again. But then he showed up and I realized I have no fucking idea what to actually say to him. And now he’s gone again and I miss him, again.”
He hated that after so many years, he never got over him. There was always a twinge in the back of his mind, a reminder of what he once had. At least a dozen times a week he would see things that Hugo would’ve either loved or hated and he couldn’t pull out his phone and snap a picture to show him.
“It’s all the little things. Like how we would read chemistry books together and I would spell out words we didn’t understand while he looked them up. Or how he would always keep an eye on the weather during winter and come over to spend the night before a storm because he knew I was afraid of snow. When I got scared or upset over something he would explain to me exactly why whatever I was scared of couldn’t or wouldn’t happen. I used to think he was a know-it-all, but looking back it always made me feel better when he did that. He was a jerk but he was my jerk. No matter what annoying problems I had, Hugo could be ten times as annoying. It made everything else fade away.”
He didn’t want to think about Hugo anymore, but now that was all his thoughts were. Seeing him in the hallways at school, hoping he would come up to him and say hi, the quick glances they exchanged in the parking lot, the years that they had built together.
Hugo was part of the person he’d become, a person he would never get to know.
A weight shifted onto Varian’s lap and he opened his eyes to see Ruddiger curled up on top of him.
“Hey buddy, you smell the pizza?”
The raccoon chittered in reply but remained still, getting ready for sleep after a long day of napping. Varian laughed and patted his furry friend’s stomach, content to follow his lead into sleep.
The rest of the night was like that, quiet and subdued. Nuru didn’t say much else, just played with his hair as he drifted off. Which meant that she was doing her best at holding back insults to his former best friend. He would probably wake up to an essay of counterpoints to everything he said, but that was ok. Nuru was good at letting him talk when he needed to and better at putting him in his place afterwards.
He wasn’t sure when he drifted to sleep, but when he woke up it was to the soft ‘ting’ of something hitting his window.
Sitting up was a groggy and difficult venture. Beneath him Nuru was snoring softly, her head sinking back into a propped up pillow. There was a small damp spot on her chest where he had drooled on her. Wouldn’t be the first time but he still cringed a bit. He would fix her star shaped waffles later to make up for it.
There was another sound at his window, this one a bit louder than the last. He knew exactly who it was.
He pushed Ruddiger off his lap and stood up quietly, feet padding against his rug as he went to open the window to the cool summer air.
“Yong, I told you, fireworks are tomorrow night-”
Only when he looked down, it wasn’t Yong.
Hugo was standing beneath his window, blond hair and glasses almost glowing in the moonlight. He wore a smug grin on his face, one that faltered for a moment before coming back full force.
“Wow, that’s some great bedhead you got there, Stripes.” Hugo’s voice was barely above a whisper, but it carried to Varian’s ears like a gong.
Stripes? What was that all about?
Slamming the window down would be the best option right now, Varian knew. He could pretend he was crushing Hugo’s fingers under it. But instead he leaned out, scowl on his face, and graced Hugo with a reply.
“What the hell are you doing back here?”
Hugo’s grin only got wider, making him look even more like a dick than he usually did.
“Put on some clothes and grab your car keys.”
“And why the ever loving fuck would I do that?” Varian squinted down at him incredulously, in awe at the sheer nerve of the man beneath him.
He had to hand it to his former friend, he had audacity, that was for sure. However he wasn’t the only one with a damning failing. Curiosity, as it was want to do, trumped his annoyance as he leaned comfortably against the window sill.
“Look, I was an ass or whatever earlier, ok? Let me make it up to you. Just come down here, see what I’ve got planned, and if you don’t like it you can, I dunno, set your fat lil’ raccoon on me.”
“First, Ruddiger isn’t fat, he’s well fed. Second, why do we need my car for this?”
“Don is out of town with her truck and my motorcycle is too loud.”
Too loud? Now that was intriguing. Were they sneaking around?
“What is he doing back here?”
Varian turned to see Nuru sitting up straighter, dabbing her shirt with a spare blanket, eyes set on the window with a scowl. Damn her hearing.
“He wants me to go with him for something. Nuru, this is a bad idea. Tell me it’s a bad idea.”
“This is a bad idea. Easily the dumbest thing you could do right now.”
Varian met her eyes, then turned back towards the window. He could see it in her look that she already knew what was about to happen.
“Give me five minutes.” He hastily said to Hugo before slamming the window and going to his closet for his jeans.
“I can’t believe you. I really can’t.” Nuru shook her head but she was either too tired or too annoyed to stop him. “Plus you drooled on me again. This is why I don’t bother with boys. I’m serious, he is not that cute.”
“I know, ok, but I just gotta see what he has planned. Look, if things go wrong, I’ll punch him and send you a video. And I’ll make those star waffles you like for breakfast, ok?”
“Ok, but I would like it to be noted that I am judging you quite harshly for this.”
“It has been noted.” Varian leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Love you, Nuru.”
“Love you too. Boys, am I right, Ruddy?”
The last thing he saw as he closed his door was his pet and best friend getting comfortable once again on their large mountain of pillows. It made him smile. Even if whatever Hugo was pulling ended up disastrous, he would always have them. And a big heaping earful of ‘I told you so’. It would be well deserved.
The digital wall clock in the hallway shone out the time as three-thirty am. Halfway through the witching hour as Nuru would tell him, and nothing good happened during that time. It would still be dark out for a few more hours.
A shiver that he didn’t really want to examine ran up his spine at the idea of him and Hugo sneaking out at night, just them and a car and the moon to guide them to whatever crazy scheme he had planned.
That thought only made his feet walk faster to the door.