Chapter Text
As Chuuya turned back to look at the sky, he heard his phone ring. As he pulled it out of his leather jacket, he was greeted with the word ‘BOSS’ in big white letters staring back at him.
He answered it without hesitation, and his face dropped into a blank expression. “Hello?” He said as Dazai turned to look at him— already having guessed who it was.
“Hello, Chuuya.” An odd, uncanny voice sounded from the phone. If it had been anyone else, they might’ve mistaken the way his voice threaded together in carefully layered pieces for cheerfulness, although, neither Chuuya nor Dazai were that naïve.
“Whaddya need?” Chuuya asked, turning the volume up so Dazai could hear.
Mori laughed, “Always straight to the point, of course.” He remarked, slightly amused. “I have another mission for Double Black.” Dazai leaned in closer, intrigued, and Chuuya could hear the ruffling of papers through the phone as Mori flipped through a file.
“I estimate about 2 weeks, although, I’m sure you could handle it faster than that.” He said, before continuing, “The basic rundown is that there’s a smaller organization, a gang really, biting off more than they can chew.” Dazai looked amused, looking up at Chuuya and smiling slightly.
“They’ve been cutting off our members from certain places where we usually do ‘business deals’ and such.” He sighed, “Truly, this job is below you, but everyone else I’ve sent has failed to do their job.”
Chuuya and Dazai looked at each other, “We’ll get it done.” Chuuya said, hanging up.
Then he groaned. “I forgot, I still have to do that paperwork from our last mission.” He held the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “If only you had done it like you SAID YOU WOULD.” Chuuya glared at Dazai, who was standing there nonchalantly.
“Sorry, Chuuya, but you know I never do the paperwork.” Dazai said, shrugging. “Besides, I’m the brains of the operation anyway. It would do your tiny brain some good to do work.”
Chuuya just sighed, giving Dazai a stern look. “Let’s go. We’ve been out too long anyway.”
“If you say so.” Dazai said, “I’m sure it’s past your bedtime anyway.” He took two big strides, turning around and giving Chuuya a cheeky smirk as he watched the other go red with anger.
“I AM NOT A CHILD!” Chuuya screeched as he watched Dazai flee through the door they had previously gone through.
Chuuya heard a small “If you say so!” Echo through the hallway as he followed Dazai. His blood boiled, but he wasn’t about to run through the hallway to catch up with Dazai. That would inevitably end with more short jokes, and him being more tired than he already was.
Chuuya didn’t know how Dazai wasn’t tired out yet. It was like all the time, no matter what, he had an infinite supply of energy. Like a robot, unable to feel fatigue because he simply wasn’t programmed to. It would be inconvenient.
Although, Chuuya wasn’t entirely convinced of that fact. The way his posture folded in on itself as soon as he thought no one was looking, and the way his eye-bags made his face look hollowed out and empty told a different story. He didn’t want to look too much into it, though. Trying to figure out Dazai was like trying to find your way through a dark maze. It just wasn’t possible.
Although, that might just be Chuuya not understanding basic humanity again. It might be natural, to stay up late and have tons of energy. Maybe that was just another thing he fell short on. Maybe he just wished, hoped, that he was normal so much that instead of accepting the fact that he would never be human, he convinced himself that normal human activities were wrong, weird, bizarre. He wanted to be normal so bad that he couldn’t fathom the idea that after years of straining his arms, reaching out to try and grasp the small feeling of something other than anger & sadness, he had failed. He couldn’t fathom that after all this time, the sensation of real, true humanity slipped through his fingers, He had failed. Again. It seemed like he couldn’t do anything right. It wasn’t fair. Maybe this was why he didn’t have a soulmate.
His blood boiled, it wasn’t the time for this.
He gave in with a huff and sped up, bringing one foot in front of the other with more effort than he might have liked.
“Wait up!” Chuuya shouted as he finally reached the stairs, putting his hand on the railing and trying his best not to trip.
“You’re the worst.” Chuuya said as he finally caught up with Dazai, who was smiling cheekily at him.
Suddenly, Dazai made a face. “Hey, where’d you put that dinosaur we got?” He said, looking around with a weird expression on his face.
“Uhhh.” Chuuya hummed, looking up in thought. Suddenly, he screwed his face up and tilted his head. “Oh. I think we left it at the arcade by accident.” He sighed, “I bet it’s still there if we go by and get it.”
Dazai looked at him with wide eyes, something that Chuuya couldn’t quite put his finger on prevalent in them. “Oh, it’s fine, really. We don’t have to.” He said, and then made an odd face and scoffed, almost like it had been an afterthought. “It’s not like it’s mine, anyway. I don’t want it.” Then he paused. “But I bet you do. You’re basically a child anyway.”
Chuuya puffed up his cheeks in anger. “How many times do I have to tell you I am NOT a CHILD.”
“Well, a couple, obviously, because I’m still not entirely convinced.” Dazai quipped back.
“Y’know, if you wanted to go back and get that dinosaur you could’ve just said so.” Chuuya said with an unimpressed look, before hopping off the stairs as they reached the bottom.
“I NEVER SAID THAT.” Dazai huffed, glaring at Chuuya. “If you wanted to get out of taking the blame for leaving it there you could’ve just said so.” He shot back, following Chuuya back the way they came.
“It’s okay, really.” Dazai said dramatically.
“After all, a mistake like that is only human.”
There was a pause, where Chuuya stopped in his tracks, and it felt like the word reverberated around the room. It echoed in Chuuya’s ears, and he slowly turned to look at Dazai.
Dazai just stood there, with a blank expression on his face. He didn’t think before he spoke. Again. They locked eyes, neither of them daring to blink or disturb the air, like it might break the fragile silence they held in that moment.
Chuuya opened his mouth, whispering something. It took Dazai a second to realize what he said.
“But it isn’t, is it?”
Again, the room fell silent.
“It is.” He responded flatly, his face void of any emotion it might’ve shown before, like he was just stating the obvious.
“IT’S NOT!” Chuuya shouted, his face going from flat and unbothered to broken, Dazai could almost see something inside his widened eyes shatter. His eyebrows were pulled together, almost begging for Dazai to agree with him. He needed him to. He didn’t want Dazai to give him false hope. He wanted the truth.
“Why don’t you believe me?” Dazai tilted his head, like he had just asked an innocent question. Like he hadn’t just asked Chuuya to believe an obvious lie.
Chuuya stared at the other like Dazai was telling him that elephants could fly. “Because it’s not true.”
“Why not?” Dazai asked, and it was his turn to flick Chuuya on the forehead.
Chuuya glared at him. “Why do you always argue? Why can’t you just..” he paused, putting his head in his hands for a second. Suddenly, he pulled his head up, widening his eyes and leaning towards Dazai. “I KNOW IT’S NOT TRUE, SO WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE HONEST?” He screamed, turning away from Dazai and standing there.
There was silence again.
“I hate you.” Chuuya said, turning his head to look behind him and lock eyes with Dazai. “I hate you. Why am I still here? It’s not like we’re friends. It’s not like we ever were or ever will be.”
Dazai’s eyes widened. He shattered. “What..” Dazai whispered, staring at Chuuya. “Huh?”
“Of course. I forgot. You’re just a windup doll. You can’t even fathom actual emotion. Maybe you’re just as human as I am. It’s my bad for thinking you were anything more than a puppet for the mafia.” He started to walk away, before stopping. And without looking behind him, he said, “Why would you, someone who’s not human anyway, get to decide if I am? Why give me hope, when you yourself don’t have any? When you never could?”
He pulled open the door, gripping the space on his wrist where Dazai had drawn the mark and leaving him to stand in the abandoned building with the echos of Chuuya’s words bouncing around in his head.