Chapter Text
๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐พ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฝ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ผ๐๐๐ผ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐
๐๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ผ๐ช๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ 21
ย
(KAEYA 12:18 AM)> are you sure you want to use your favour on this????
(KAEYA 12:18 AM)> i would honestly help you without the favour lol
(AMBER 12:18 AM)> yeah but you wouldnโt actually try
(AMBER 12:18 AM)> this ensures that youโll actually help.
(KAEYA 12:19 AM)> i would say something to defend myself, but honestly, fair.
(AMBER 12:19 AM)> so do you have a plan?
(KAEYA 12:19 AM)> perhaps.
(AMBER 12:19 AM)> wow, thanks for telling me, you are SO awesome.
(KAEYA 12:19 AM)> it wouldnโt be much fun for me if everything went right for you.
(AMBER 12:19 AM)> whats that supposed to mean
(AMBER 12:20 AM)> kaeya, what do you mean
(AMBER 12:22 AM)> kaeya.
(AMBER 12:22 AM)> KAEYA.
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๐๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ก๐ก
๐๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ผ๐ช๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ 21๐จ๐ฉ
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(VENTI 8:59 AM)> can we talk about how barbara has other friends.
(VENTI 8:59 AM)> like i know shes friends with all of us but like ????
(VENTI 8:59 AM)> who are they????
(BENNETT 9:04 AM)> Morning Venti!
(BENNETT 9:04 AM)> I donโt know much about barbโs other friends sadly, we donโt hang out with them :(
(ROSARIA 9:05 AM)> Did you purposely do this during church to avoid barbara?
(VENTI 9:05 AM)> perhaps.
(ROSARIA 9:05 AM)> dude just ask if you really want to know.
(LISA 9:05 AM)> or maybe ask jean?
(LISA 9:05 AM)> She might know them.
(ROSARIA 9:05 AM)> doubt it, she rarely talks about them to even me
(BENNETT 9:05 AM)> Maybe they arenโt real?
(MONA 9:05 AM)> Maybe the real friends were the people we made up along the way~
(LISA 9:05 AM)> wait mona cant you find out?
(MONA 9:05 AM)> No???
(MONA 9:05 AM)> i read palms, i can't just look at peoples lives in an instant. Iโm not magic
(BENNETT 9:05 AM)> wait didnโt childe know something about one of Barbaraโs friends? THe one with the skull?
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> yeah i tried to call him but hes HUNGOVER. Like the hang up on you in an instant hungover.
(LISA 9:06 AM)> What about albedo? Doesnโt he have her contact?
ย
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> LISA I LOVE YOU /P
(LISA 9:06 AM)> everyone does~
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> @๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> @๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> @๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> @๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> @๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐
(ALBEDO 9:06 AM)> WHAT.
(MONA 9:06 AM)> Ventiโs broken ribs part 2????
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> you have barbaraโs friendโs contact right?????
(ALBEDO 9:06 AM)> yes. why.
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> can i have it?
(ALBEDO 9:06 AM)> no.
(VENTI 9:06 AM)> ALBEDO YOU DONโT UNDERSTAND I NEED TO KNOW WHO BARBARAโS FRIENDS ARE.
(ALBEDO 9:07 AM)> why????
(ROSARIA 9:07 AM)> hes bored.
(LISA 9:07 AM)> but like
(LISA 9:07 AM)> i genuinely want to know what theyโre like
(MONA 9:07 AM)> my moneys on them being literal demons from hell
(ROSARIA 9:07 AM)> what? No, theyre barbaraโs friends
(ROSARIA 9:07 AM)> i think theyโre gonna be little bitch babies
(LISA 9:07 AM)> so the bets have started.
(LISA 9:07 AM)> Bennett, albedo, venti? Wanna bet too?
(VENTI 9:07 AM)> bitch babies.
(MONA 9:07 AM)> your loss
(ROSARIA 9:07 AM)> Dude if youre right iโll buy you wantever you want for lunch
(MONA 9:07 AM)> deal.
(VENTI 9:07 AM)> @๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐ GIMME THE CONTACT
(ALBEDO 9:07 AM)> WILL YOU STOP IF I GIVE HER CONTACT TO YOU
(VENTI 9:07 AM)> YES BESTIE PLEASE.
(ALBEDO 9:07 AM)> fine.
(VENTI 9:08 AM)> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(ROSARIA 9:08 AM)> wow, ventiโs annoyingness even works on albedo, who knew.
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ
(LISA 9:08 AM)> i donโt think anyones immune to ventiโs annoyingness
(HU TAO 9:08 AM)> OooOoooh new customers!
(HU TAO 9:08 AM)> Would any of you like to buy a coffin? If you buy one now youโll get 25% off your next order!
(ROSARIA 9:08 AM)> Mona iโll see you at 12:00 for lunch.
(LISA 9:08 AM)> wow. I did not expect that.
(HU TAO 9:08 AM)> So no takers? Well i do have a GoFundMe! Help me in my journey to own 12 and a half mannequin heads!
(VENTI 9:08 AM)> I absolutely will.
(ROSARIA 9:08 AM)> venti youre fucking broke you cant help.
(VENTI 9:08 AM)> iโll sure can fucking try
(VENTI 9:08 AM)> WAITWAITWAIT
(VENTI 9:09 AM)> Hu Tao ur one of barbaraโs friends right
(HU TAO 9:09 AM)> oh babs! Yeah she and I are besties
(HU TAO 9:09 AM)> whyd ya ask?
(LISA 9:09 AM)> Well weโre her friends from the mondstadt branch, and we wanted to meet her other friends~
(HU TAO 9:09 AM)> oh lmao
(HU TAO 9:09 AM)> if you mod me iโll add everyone else
(VENTI 9:09 AM)> Alright bestie
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ค๐๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ค๐ง
(ROSARIA 9:09 AM)> venti why, she seems chaotic
(VENTI 9:09 AM)> i mean so are kaeya, childe, and i so whats one more :P
๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ผ๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐๐
(VENTI 9:09 AM)> holy shit that's a lot of people
(XINGYAN 9:09 AM)> Hu tao what in the world is this?
(HU TAO 9:09 AM)> idk really i just got added to it :/
(CHONGYUN 9:09 AM)> then why did you add usโฆ?
(HU TAO 9:09 AM)> because these are babโs mondstadt friends!
(CHONGYUN 9:09 AM)> oh
(ROSARIA 9:09 AM)> whats up nerds
(XINGYAN 9:10 AM)> arenโt you that goth chick that goes to my church
(VENTI 9:10 AM)> if the person youโre talking about is never there, then yes, its her
(YUN JIN 9:10 AM)> Well hello everyone
(XINGYAN 9:10 AM)> YUN JINNNNN!
(YUN JIN 9:10 AM)> <33333
(HU TAO 9:10 AM)> awww youre both my little pogchamps <3
(YUN JIN 9:10 AM)>
(XINGYAN 9:10 AM)>
(MONA 9:10 AM)> damn youโre worse than venti
(VENTI 9:10 AM)> DAMNNNNN
(VENTI 9:10 AM)> YOU DONT GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT
(HU TAO 9:10 AM)> Its okay, weโll form a besties solidarity
(VENTI 9:10 AM)> you and me against the world
(CHONGYUN 9:10 AM)> be careful, she will bark at you
(LISA 9:10 AM)> it sounds like you know that from experience
(HU TAO 9:10 AM)> dont expose me like that ๐ค๐ก๐คช๐ฉ๐ต๐
(ROSARIA 9:10 AM)> wait who are the other two people you added
(HU TAO 9:11 AM)> twink and chef.
(LISA 9:11 AM)> what
(CHONGYUN 9:11 AM)> hu tao i dont think xingqiu will be happy to know that youre calling him a twink again
(HU TAO 9:11 AM)> And he can poetry fight me over this
(HU TAO 9:11 AM)> iโm not scared
(MONA 9:11 AM)> WAIT THERES ANOTHER TWINK OTHER THAN VENTI????
(VENTI 9:11 AM)> twink solidarity clubโฆโฆ..
(LISA 9:11 AM)> holy shit albedo can join too
(ALBEDO 9:11 AM)> i will sell your organs
(LISA 9:11 AM)> Alright bet when and where
(ALBEDO 9:11 AM)> That one sketch ass hospital on 5th street at 12:38 am, dont be late.
(LISA 9:11 AM)> see you there.
(HU TAO 9:12 AM)> CAN I COME TOO??????
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(YUN JIN 9:12 AM)> hu tao you have plans already
(ROSARIA 9:12 AM)> Bro what
(XINGYAN 9:12 AM)> yeah dont back out last minute >:(
(HU TAO 9:12 AM)> Sorry guys i forgot i had plans already :/
(ALBEDO 9:12 AM)> youre good, probably have to cancel as well
(LISA 9:12 AM)> its okay, i have witchy things to do anyways
ย
(KAEYA 11:23 AM)> adkfl;
(ROSARIA 11:23 AM)> bro you good?
(KAEYA 11:23 AM)> fucksing eversything hustr
(ROSARIA 11:23 AM)> L couldnโt be me
(KAEYA 11:23 AM)> BITCH YOU ATE A CRUCHWRAP SUPRIME IN THE BACK OF CHIDES CAR YOU CANR TALK
(ROSARIA 11:23 AM)> WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT HAVE DRANK SO MUCH BITCHASS
(MONA 11:23 AM)> can you not flirt in this chat im trying to get ready
(LISA 11:23 AM)> fr fr
(KAEYA 11:23 AM)>
(ROSARIA 11:23 AM)>
(LISA 11:23 AM)> ?
(KAEYA 11:23 AM)> we deadass broke up a year ago
(MONA 11:23 AM)> YOU GUYS USED TO DATE?????
(KAEYA 11:23 AM)> SHSHKSKHSKKS
(ROSARIA 11:23 AM)> DUDE WE DATED FOR 3 YEARS HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW???
(LISA 11:24 AM)> ????????
(MONA 11:24 AM)> HOW DID NONE OF US KNOW THIS?????
(KAEYA 11:24 AM)> lmao who knows
(ROSARIA 11:24 AM)> yโall dumb thats why <3
(KAEYA 11:24 AM)> fr fr
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(HU TAO 11:39 AM)> WHATS UP NERDS IM BACK AGAIN
(JEAN 11:43 AM)> oh there seems to be some new additions from when i was last on
(HU TAO 11:43 AM)> Indeed there has!
(HU TAO 11:43 AM)> Iโm Hu Tao!!!
(JEAN 11:43 AM)> well nice to meet you.
(HU TAO 11:43 AM)> Say, do you have any need for a nice place to rest after you die? Never a shame to prepare early!
(JEAN 11:43 AM)> I-
(ZHONGLI 11:43 AM)> Hello Hu Tao. I didnโt realize that you were in this chat.
(HU TAO 11:43 AM)> ZHONGLI!!!!1!!1!!1!1!!11
(HU TAO 11:43 AM)> whats poppin my man
(DILUC 11:43 AM)> why.
(LISA 11:43 AM)> absolutely vile.
(EULA 11:44 AM)> I will exact vengeance for that assault on my eyes.
(KAEYA 11:44 AM)> man you even got eula to speak
(EULA 11:44 AM)> vengeance upon you as well.
(KAEYA 11:44 AM)> < / 3
(ALBEDO 11:44 AM)> how in the world did hu tao get everyone online with one sentence.
(HU TAO 11:44 AM)> what can i say
(HU TAO 11:44 AM)> its part of my charm.
(CHONGYUN 11:44 AM)> i wouldnโt put it as charmโฆ.
(LISA 11:44 AM)> maybe she has a dark aura like me ~
(VENTI 11:44 AM)> or maybe shes a girlboss.
(ROSARIA 11:44 AM)> another to add to the club?
(KAEYA 11:44 AM)> fr fr
(XIANGLING 11:44 AM)> Hu Taoโs a girlboss?
(XIANGLING 11:44 AM)> ive always thought she was more of the gatekeep
(HU TAO 11:44 AM)> you did not ๐๐๐๐๐๐
(XIANGLING 11:44 AM)> I did
(LISA 11:44 AM)> ???
(XINGYAN 11:44 AM)> that joke is only funny to people who know
(BARBARA 11:44 AM)> WHAT.
(HU TAO 11:44 AM)> BABS!1!!!1!
(BARBARA 11:44 AM)> WHo ADDED YOU????
(BARBARA 11:44 AM)> WHYH IS EVERYONE HERE????
(JEAN 11:44 AM)> oh are these your other friends Barb?
(BARBARA 11:44 AM)> i dont know them.
(HU TAO 11:44 AM)> Sure you dont ๐๐๐๐
(XIANGLING 11:44 AM)> okay okay but can we go back to what were were saying though???
(XIANGLING 11:44 AM)> like who would be the gaslight or girlboss???
(VENTI 11:44 AM)> Hmmmmm I have no idea who half these people are but iโm gonna guess that calm gal yun jin is the gaslighter
(YUN JIN 11:45 AM)> am not.
(VENTI 11:45 AM)> see?
(XIANGLING 11:45 AM)> Now whose the girlboss
(ROSARIA 11:45 AM)> that one bitch that hasnt even talked.
(VENTI 11:45 AM)> TWINK BUDDY
(DILUC 11:45 AM)> wait how many people did you add?
(HU TAO 11:45 AM)> 6 including me
(DILUC 11:45 AM)> thats so manyโฆ
(BARBARA 11:45 AM)> not really when you consider the fact that they forgot to add 3 people.
(HU TAO 11:45 AM)> WAIT AWFJNJIFKNSLKDMNFHOIWLK
(HU TAO 11:45 AM)> WHOD I FORGET????
(BARBARA 11:45 AM)> yanfei, aether, and lumine.
(HU TAO 11:45 AM)> DHIT
(CHONGYUN 11:45 AM)> howโd you even forget them? Arenโt they your closest friends?
(HU TAO 11:45)> SHHHHHHH H ID DINโT FORGET THEM
(CHONGYUN 11:45 AM)> sure.
๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐๐ฟ ๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐๐๐๐
(DILUC 11:45 AM)> Add the entirety of the liyue branch why dont you
(HU TAO 11:46 AM)> :)
(CHONGYUN 11:46 AM)> hu tao dont.
(HU TAO 11:46 AM)> SIGH i couldnโt if i wanted toโฆโฆโฆโฆ.
(HU TAO 11:46 AM)> but someone else can
(HU TAO 11:46 AM)> @๐พ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐
(XINYAN 11:47 AM)>
(HU TAO 11:47 AM)> @๐พ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐
(HU TAO 11:48 AM)> @๐พ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐
(HU TAO 11:50 AM)> @๐พ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐ I SWEAR TO GOD GET YOUR ASS UP AND HELP ME.
(KAEYA 11:50 AM)> Oh dont worry chaos bestie i gotchu I live with the dude
(LISA 11:50 AM)> you do????
(DILUC 11:50 AM)> yeah they live in the on campus dorms
(VENTI 11:50 AM)> but he was at your house that one time???????
(KAEYA 11:50 AM)> i was visiting :/
(KAEYA 11:51 AM)> anyways the hangover demon is up now so sjsjjsj
(CHILDE 11:51 AM)> what
(HU TAO 11:51 AM)> Can you pwease pwease pwease add all of liyue ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ
(CHILDE 11:51 AM)> why? Wouldnt that be annoying?
(HU TAO 11:51 AM)> do it or iโll add scaramouche
(DILUC 11:51 AM)> whoโs that?
๐พ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ผ๐๐, ๐ฝ๐๐๐ฟ๐๐, ๐๐๐ผ๐, ๐๐ผ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
(HU TAO 11:51 AM)> I dunno but i know that Childe absolutely hates him, and that i also have his contact
(XINGYAN 11:51 AM)> how did you manage that?????
(HU TAO 11:51 AM)> :winking emoji:
(XIAO 11:51 AM)> Hu Tao what is this. Remove me from this groupchat.
(HU TAO 11:51 AM)> No <3
(BEIDOU 11:51 AM)> man this is actually kinda cool
(BEIDOU 11:51 AM)> being able to talk to everyone in the mondstadt AND the liyue group??? Cool beans.
(NINGGUANG 11:52 AM)> it is easier for announcements
(XIAO 11:52 AM)> I reiterate, remove me from this chat.
(VENTI 11:52 AM)> XIAO!!!! ๐๐๐โฅ๐๐๐๐
(XIAO 11:52 AM)> fuck off
(VENTI 11:52 AM)> :(
(AETHER 11:52 AM)> How was this chat even made, yall dont even to like each other
(ROSARIA 11:52 AM)> Ventiโs stupidity
(KAEYA 11:52 AM)> ventis stupid
(DILUC 11:52 AM)> ventiโs a fucking idiot and now we cant leave
(JEAN 11:52 AM)> oh come on its not too bad you guys.
(BARBARA 11:52 AM)> its terrible.
(YANFEI 11:52 AM)> i feel like this will be fun to watch-
(LUMINE 11:52 AM)> drama
(VENTI 11:52 AM)> i mean the first week we had this chat diluc cracked my ribs :/
(ROSARIA 11:52 AM)> and that one fight with diluc and kaeya
(KEQING 11:52 AM)> THAT WAS YOU TWO?!??!
(KAEYA 11:52 AM)> no
(MONA 11:52 AM)> i swear, i step away for five minutes and then you add 50 people
(ROSARIA 11:52 AM)> sounds like a you problem sis <3
(MONA 11:52 AM)> you owe me lunch today still <3
(ROSARIA 11:53 AM)> WAIT SHIOT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
(HU TAO 11:53 AM)> she forgor ๐
(LUMINE 11:53 AM)> L
(AETHER 11:53 AM)> couldnt be me
(YANFEI 11:53 AM)> it physically pains me that i cannot see back in this chat.
(JEAN 11:53 AM)> thats honestly for the best.
(JEAN 11:53 AM)> a lot of the things said here are enough to give me an aneurysm
(NINGGUANG 11:53 AM)> i feel that.
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๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐พ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฝ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฃ ๐พ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐๐ผ
๐๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ผ๐ช๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ 21
(KAEYA 3:58 PM)> Give me the money malewife.
(CHILDE 3:58 PM)> why am i even helping you
(KAEYA 3:58 PM)> Because you love meeee
(KAEYA 3:59 PM)> and maybee because i have a massive amount of dirt on you
(CHILDE 3:59 PM)> Oh fuck off you prick
(KAEYA 3:59 PM)> remember that one time in 7th grade when you pissed yourself during the last day of school, because i sure do <3
(CHILDE 3:59 PM)> OKAYOKAY SHEESH
(CHILDE 3:59 PM)> FINE ITS DONE
(KAEYA 3:59 PM)> Then iโll be off you musty ginger
(CHILDE 3:59 PM)> yo can you pick up chinese food on the way back
(KAEYA 3:59 PM)> KK bestie
ย
๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐พ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฝ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐๐ผ
๐๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ฎ, ๐ผ๐ช๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ 21
(KAEYA 4:01 PM)>erak/hdsjkaโrf gdjskvlajb
(EULA 4:01 PM)> what the fuck
(KAEYA 4:01 PM)>WAIT I DIDNT MEAN OT SEND THAT IM SO SORRY
(KAEYA 4:01 PM)> but i did mean to talk to you about smth
(EULA 4:01 PM)> be quick or vengeance shall be exacted upon you
(KAEYA 4:02 PM)> sheesh fine iโll be quick
(KAEYA 4:02 PM)> i was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with venti amber and i tomorrow
(EULA 4:02 PM)> Why? Did your fourth person happen to cancel?
(KAEYA 4:02 PM)> no no, i just wanted to know if you wanted to go with us
(EULA 4:02 PM)> You mean you wanted to know if ๐ฐ wanted to go?
(KAEYA 4:02 PM)> yuh bestie do i have to repeat it in the few german words I know?
(EULA 4:02 PM)> I will go, but know that I will add you to my long list of vengeance!
(KAEYA 4:02 PM)> see you at the movie theater tomorrow at 5 then
(EULA 4:02 PM)> I will see you then.