Chapter Text
On a Saturday afternoon in Rockford, Greta’s playing a game of poker with Carson, Jo, Jess, and Lupe. She knows Lulu is playing somewhere in the house, as usual. Her daughter became fascinated by their large blue Victorian summer abode otherwise known as the Peaches boarding house the day they arrived back in Rockford. She would play, draw, or read for hours in a random nook or less inhabited space of the home when there wasn’t a practice, game, or road series happening. Lulu would often end up falling asleep in said spot, so naturally Greta panicked the first time it happened. She cried to Carson, to Jo, to everyone that she couldn’t find Lulu anywhere. Her mind plagued itself with dark thoughts, that someone kidnapped her from her room when no one was looking, and Carson was the only person who was able to calm her and have her focus on where her daughter might actually be. After a fifteen minute search, Shirley found Lulu asleep under a table with a book resting on her stomach. Greta was in tears by the time she found her, nearly waking her up as she carried her sleeping daughter back to her bed.
Greta ended up panicking like that three or four more times until she became used to her tiny daughter taking up so little space in their giant home, convincing herself that she’s safe and is just playing somewhere in their spacious house.
So now she’s holding up her cards, playing a game with her teammates without worry, or at least without extreme worry. Ever since becoming a mother, Greta doesn’t know if it’s possible to not worry.
Bev comes into the room with their paychecks, and everyone gets up from the table to open them. Additionally, Greta receives a letter from the New York court. Realizing it must be about Lulu’s adoption, she opens it immediately.
It’s a court summon, requesting her and Lulu to appear before a judge on Tuesday in New York City, where the adoption is pending approval. There’s additional information regarding name changes, which would also be changed if they requested it. The timing is less than ideal, but she is finally going to be Lulu’s mom officially on paper. In her heart, she’s been her mom from the start and knew the actual adoption process would take some time to go through. Now is that time. She would have to miss a few games, but that didn’t worry her. Greta needs to talk with her daughter about this, as she worries the sudden trip to New York will overwhelm her.
After securing the official court order and her paycheck in her room, Greta searches the Peaches house for Lulu. While upstairs, she sees a glimpse of Lulu outside. She’s climbing one of the trees in the backyard, Greta notices, and heads downstairs.
Lulu is climbing onto another branch when Greta approaches her.
“Hi baby,” Greta says with a smile.
“Hi mom!” Lulu says. “Do you want to see how high I can climb?”
“I don’t want you going too high,” Greta tells her. “If you fall you could get hurt.”
Lulu pouts in disappointment and sits on the tree branch. “Is it time for dinner yet?” she asks instead.
Greta shakes her head. “Can we talk?” she asks. “I have some news.”
Lulu climbs down from the tree carefully. “What is it?”
“Your official adoption is pending approval,” she says as they walk towards the backyard door.
Lulu practically squeals in excitement. “It’s official now?” she asks.
“Not quite,” Greta clarifies. “Let’s go into my room and I’ll explain.”
Greta brings Lulu into her bedroom and shuts the door behind them. They sit together on her bed as Greta begins to speak.
“We have to go back to New York for a judge to approve it on Tuesday,” Greta explains. “Which means we have to catch a train tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Lulu questions. “But what about the games?”
Lulu absolutely loves attending all of the games and watching her mother play. There’s no surprise that she’s disappointed by the news.
“We’ll have to miss a few,” Greta says. “But we’ll be back before you know it.”
“But after this no more courts?” Lulu asks. “It’ll be just us?”
Greta nods. “No more courts after this,” she confirms. “Though when we go on Tuesday…well, I wanted to ask you something.”
“What?” Lulu asks.
“You don’t have to do this,” Greta says. “But at the courthouse we have the option of changing your last name to match mine. Gill. Again, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but…”
“I want to,” Lulu interjects with a smile. “I want to be Lulu Gill. You’re my mom…we should have the same last names.”
Greta links hands with Lulu and gives her a warm smile. “I’ve never really harbored any connection to my last name,” she admits. “I was the sole Gill ever since I left my parents when I was a teenager. But now that we’re a family, it means something, ya know?”
Lulu nods understandingly. “I know.”
She spends the rest of her Saturday packing her and Lulu’s things into a small duffel bag and purchasing train tickets for tomorrow. Greta left Lulu with Carson while she took a cab to the train station to pick up the tickets. Upon her return, she sees Carson at the kitchen table with Lulu, the former teaching her daughter how to play cards.
“Mom!” Lulu says. “Carson’s teaching me how to play Poker.”
Greta joins them at the table. “She is?” Greta questions and looks at Carson. “I remember when I taught you how to play, farm girl.”
Lulu’s eyes lit up. “Carson, you never told me you were from a farm.”
Carson laughs, shaking her head. “I’m not from a farm,” she explains. “Everyone just seems to think I am.”
Lulu giggles. “I don’t think that.”
“You’re the first person to actually say that,” Carson admits as she smiles.
“I’m going to miss you,” Lulu suddenly says to Carson.
“Aw, I’ll miss you too,” Carson tells her. “But you’ll be back on Thursday. The time’s gonna fly by.”
—
Despite Carson’s words, Greta feels that time is running in slow motion, especially when she and Lulu arrive in New York on Tuesday morning. They’re waiting outside of the courtroom and the judge is running late. She knows she has nothing to worry about, but Greta is naturally weary of men wielding power.
She seems to appear nervous, as Lulu holds her hand in comfort.
“It’s okay, mom,” Lulu tells her.
“I know,” Greta replies. “Wow, your hand is cold…”
“Your hand is sweaty,” Lulu points out.
Greta’s about to reply it’s because of her nerves, but then the bailiff opens the courtroom doors, letting them know the judge is ready for them.
The courtroom is smaller than Greta expects, just a few tables, chairs, and the judge’s seat, really. She supposes it makes sense, as she’s just adopting a child and not on trial for murder.
They sit down in front of the judge as he reviews their case.
“Miss Gill,” he says. “I see you work for Mrs. Vivienne Hughes for part of the year and then play professional baseball the other half. How can you support a child while living in two places a year? What about the school you plan to enroll her in?”
Thankfully for Greta, she prepared for questions like that.
“I’ve heard unofficially that schools run by the semester,” she explains. “Since she’ll be with me in Illinois, I’ll have to unenroll her before the second semester starts. She’ll be homeschooled then by me.”
“You seem to have that covered,” the judge states with a frown. “Women playing baseball,” he says. “It goes against god. This child should have a mother and a father…”
“Your honor,” Greta interjects but the judge holds up his hand.
“Let me finish,” the judge says, irritated. “BUT…we are at war. War creates orphans and it’s creating many fatherless children as a result. I hope someday you’ll find a husband, Miss Gill. Regardless, I’m approving your petition for the adoption of Louise Jane McKay and grant you sole custody of the child.”
“I…” Greta starts to say. “Thank you, your honor. I have the paperwork here requesting to change her last name.”
The judge takes the paperwork from Greta, stating they’d be filed as soon as possible. On their way out of the courthouse, Greta receives a folder containing all known information on Lulu since she’s officially her mother.
They walk back to Greta’s New York apartment to put away the important documents and then go out for a quick ice cream to celebrate the adoption being official. Greta chooses a table for two for them to eat their ice cream and immediately regrets ordering her daughter an icecream with a cone, as it’s starting to melt and get all over her hands. But she doesn’t fuss over it because today’s their day of celebration. Lulu is officially her daughter.
“So…” Lulu starts to say. “Am I Lulu Gill yet?” she asks.
“You are,” Greta confirms. “I don’t know when they’ll file the paperwork officially, but you are.”
“You’re officially my mom though,” Lulu points out with a smile.
“I am,” Greta says. “I know this trip has been long and you’re probably tired, but are you happy that we finally got this done?”
Lulu nods. “Yes,” she says. “I just wish the judge…well, he wasn’t nice to you.”
“He wasn’t,” Greta agrees. “But we never have to see him again.”
“Good,” Lulu says.
—
They end up staying the night at Greta’s New York apartment and take the train back to Rockford the next morning. The train ride itself took a day and a half, so they ended up arriving back in Rockford Thursday afternoon.
As much as Greta wishes Carson could be there to meet her and her daughter at the train station, she knew it would be too risky. Instead, she would take a cab with Lulu back to the Peaches’ boarding house and reunite with everyone and Carson there.
Carson’s hair is wet when Greta and Lulu return home, spotting her eating a bowl of grapes from the kitchen. Greta assumes she just got out of the shower and that they’ve been practicing for most of the day.
“Look who’s back!” Jo says, appearing into the foyer, hugging Greta with wide open arms. “I didn’t know we were celebrating tonight!? We just got back from practice.”
Greta raises her eyebrows in surprise. “We’re celebrating?”
Jo nods. “You’re officially a mom now, bird,” she says. “We have to celebrate you and the kiddo, get some cokes and snacks and all gather in the kitchen.”
Greta smiles at that idea. “Does everyone else know of this plan? Sarge?”
“It was the farm girl’s idea, really,” Jo says. “We talked it over with Sarge, she said it was a great idea. It was unknown when you guys were coming back, so the party would have to be a spur of the moment kind of thing.”
Carson appears in the foyer from the kitchen just then, walking up to Greta and hugging her.
“You’re back!” she exclaims. “I assume everything went well?”
Greta nods. “It did.”
“I’m sure Jo just told you about the celebration we’re planning,” she says. “Let’s go in the kitchen to get things started.”
They grab the cases of coke from the icebox in the kitchen, along with some bowls of nuts, chips, and crackers. Lulu chooses to sit next to Carson at the table, who sits next to Greta, who sits next to Jo. Other members of the Peaches file into the kitchen one by one via word of mouth.
Maybelle grabs a coke and sits next to Jo. “I’m so happy for you, Greta,” she says. “You’re the second Peach to be a mom. Ya know, my oldest is the same age as Lulu.”
Greta smiles warmly at Maybelle, but she freezes when she sees a sudden change in Lupe’s demeanor, which changes from being cheerful to solemn. Briefly, she wonders what’s troubling the pitcher, but Maybelle begins telling her about Tuesday’s ball game so Greta faces the blonde and listens.
“You should’ve seen it, Greta,” Maybelle says. “Josephine here hit a grand slam on Tuesday. We won, of course.”
Lulu’s mouth widens in surprise. “We missed that?” she asks, starting to look upset. “I…I wanted to see that.”
She starts to get teary eyed and gets up from her seat, leaving the kitchen and running up the stairs.
“Lulu,” Greta says softly, as she too gets up from her seat to follow her. “I’m sorry, I have to go and check on her.”
Maybelle looks apologetic. “I’m so sorry, Greta,” she says. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”
“It’s fine,” Greta says. “I have a feeling it’s more than just missing a great game that’s upsetting her.”
“Did something happen in New York?” Carson asks her.
Greta nods. “We’re safe,” she confirms. “The judge was an asshole, but we’re safe. Though now I’m thinking the situation with the judge has upset her more than I originally thought.”
“Aw poor baby,” Maybelle comments. “Go give her a big hug for me,” she says to Greta.
“And from me,” Carson adds.
“From all of us,” Jo says.
With that, Greta turns around and heads upstairs, walking towards Lulu’s bedroom. Taking a deep breath, she knocks on the door gently.
“Lu?” she says in a soft voice. “Can I come in?”
There’s no response. Greta thinks she hears little sniffles and cries on the other side of the door, so she uses her best judgment and opens it.
Lulu is lying on her bed, crying into her pillow. Greta sits down at the edge of her bed and starts immediately rubbing circles around her back in comfort.
“Oh sweetie,” she says. “It’s okay.”
Lulu rolls onto her back and looks at Greta, her eyes puffy and red from her tears.
“It’s not,” she says. “Tuesday was good, but it was also bad.”
She hasn’t officially been Lulu’s mother for more than a couple of days yet, and already Greta feels like she screwed up. Was she initially too dismissive of her daughter’s feelings that day, trying to get her to look at the positives? Should she have talked with her more about how that judge made her feel?
“I know,” Greta tells her. “I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you about it more. I assumed you were fine and that was wrong of me.”
“S’not your fault,” Lulu says, sitting up in bed and sniffling. “I tried to pretend I was fine. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
“Lulu,” Greta says, wiping a tear away from one of her daughter’s eyes. “Never in a million years will I be disappointed in you telling me how you’re feeling. I want to know. You’re safe with me. You can tell me anything.”
“I didn’t feel safe with that judge,” Lulu says suddenly. “I don’t get to see him again, but I also don’t get to see the sisters at the orphanage who hated me. There’s always people like them. Instead of seeing people like aunt Joey, mean people appear.”
Greta pulls Lulu into her arms all of the sudden, holding her close and kissing her soft brown hair in comfort. This ultimately causes Lulu to cry even harder.
“Oh baby,” Greta says. “It’s okay.”
“M-mom,” Lulu stammers, struggling to breathe in between cries.
“Take a deep breath, Lu,” she tells her.
As Lulu is trying to breathe through her tears, a knock is heard coming from Lulu’s bedroom door.
“Is everything okay?” asks Carson. “Can I come in?”
Greta’s about to ask her daughter for her permission to let Carson into her room when Lulu speaks. “I wanna see Carson,” she tells her mother desperately, tears still rushing down her cheeks.
Greta nods. “Come in,” she says to Carson.
The door opens and Carson walks through it and shuts it behind her. She joins Greta and Lulu on her bed and her face immediately melts when she notices Greta’s daughter in tears.
“Hey sweetie,” Carson says softly. “You’re okay. I-I mean I think you’re okay. Greta, can you fill me in?”
“She’s okay,” Greta says. “Right, sweetie?” She hugs her again. “You’re gonna be okay. Carson, she’s worried we’ll keep running into awful people like that judge. While sometimes we can’t avoid them, we have our ways to keep us safe, to even avoid those people in the first place. You understand, right Lu?”
Lulu sniffles but nods. “I’m just scared,” she says.
“It’s okay to be scared,” Carson tells her. “I get scared all of the time, daily even.”
Lulu rubs her teary puffy red eyes. “You do?” she asks.
“Yeah,” Carson confirms. “I do.”
“We all do,” Greta agrees, resting her hand on Lulu’s shoulder. “That’s why we surround ourselves with those we trust and love. Aunt Joey helps me be less afraid. So does Carson. And you Lulu, you help me too.”
Lulu smiles in awe. “I do?”
“Of course,” Greta says, touching the tip of her child’s button nose with her index finger and smiling. “You’re my little girl.”
Lulu is the one to hug Greta this time. “I love you, mom,” she says.
“I love you too,” Greta replies and kisses her daughter’s cheek.
“So…” Carson starts to say awkwardly, getting Greta and Lulu’s attention. “There’s a game tomorrow and then practice early morning Saturday, but I was thinking after that we could go do something? I know Lulu feels she missed out on a lot of good memories and instead bad ones happened with that judge…would it be okay if the three of us go to the park or something? Have a picnic and a catch? Make good memories, that kind of stuff.”
With every decision Greta makes, she’s thinking whether or not it'll be safe.
Of course, now Lulu’s filled with excitement. “Please mom,” she says.
“I’m sorry,” Carson apologizes. “Should I have asked you in private first?”
Greta nods. “You should’ve,” she says, but she’s smiling nonetheless. “I was just thinking how we can best go about it. I’d feel safe if I wore Dana’s ring on my left ring finger and we’ll be able to go.”
“That’s fine with me,” Carson says.
“Who’s Dana?” Lulu blurts out.
Greta freezes and tries to compose herself, thinking about how to respond to her child’s question.
“Dana was my first love,” Greta tells her. “We were in love. I have her ring here to remember her by.”
“Was?” Lulu asks and then pauses, looking solemn. “Oh. Like Sister Christine.”
Greta nods. Despite not knowing of the nun mentioned, Carson seems to understand what Lulu meant, so she tries to redirect the topic.
“So Lu,” Carson says. “What do you want to do at the park on Saturday?”
Greta sees her daughter’s focus shift, becoming happier by the second, and she realizes that sometimes trying to get her child to focus on the happier things is the best thing she could do. The tough part is trying to differentiate between when it’s the right time to distract her daughter with happier things and when to validate her feelings. Though Lulu could talk with her about anything, Greta didn’t want to upset her for the second time tonight. She’s sure this conversation would come up again, and when it does she’s prepared to hold her, wipe away her tears, and play with her hair soothingly. If it’s at night, which it most likely will be, she’ll let her sleep in her bed with her and they’ll hold each other until they fall asleep. But today’s not that day and Greta’s thankful for the current smile on Lulu’s face, grateful for Carson and her love.
“Um…” Lulu says. “I want mom to pitch to me and I’ll hit the ball. Make sure the park has a baseball diamond first.”
“We can do that,” Greta says. “I’m not a pitcher so you’ll probably hit everything I throw, is that okay?”
“Yeah!” Lulu exclaims. “I’m gonna hit a homerun.”
Greta and Carson stay in her daughter’s room for what feels like hours, until Lulu starts to yawn and Greta decides she should go to bed. After giving her some privacy to change into her pajamas, Greta tucks Lulu into bed and kisses her goodnight.
She meets Carson outside in the hallway afterwards, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you, Carson,” she says. “You’re great with her and you really helped us tonight. She adores you, ya know.”
“I gotta feeling she does,” Carson says. “No need to thank me, by the way. I adore her too and love to see her happy.”
Greta kisses her again. “I’ll always thank you,” she says. “And not just because of her.”
Carson kisses her back, though Greta breaks things off before their passion gets more heated.
“We gotta game tomorrow,” Greta reminds her coach. “I better get some sleep, you should too.”
Carson nods and they part ways, heading into their separate rooms for the night. Greta’s surprised when she sees Jess sound asleep in her bed, but she supposes it makes sense since they have an early morning game.
Despite knowing she should sleep, Greta doesn’t. Instead, she sits in her bed examining the folder she’d been given the day her adoption of Lulu became official. The only light she has on to see the information is her bedside table lamp, as to not disturb Jess’s sleep.
In the folder are pictures of Lulu at different stages of her life. The first couple are baby pictures that were taken at the orphanage. Greta notices how unhappy she looks, even as a baby, and her heart sinks. The orphanage is a tough topic for Lulu, so until now Greta had to guess she’d been there since infancy, as she never mentioned time with any parents or other relatives.
She always wondered what had happened to Lulu’s biological parents, and she didn’t get her answer until now. Greta finally gets to the part in her daughter’s paperwork about her initial intake in the orphanage. The paperwork explains she was brought to the orphanage at thirteen months old, after her parents died in an apartment fire. She also was reported to have respiratory issues for months after the fire due to smoke inhalation, but has since made a full recovery. All of this new information made it difficult for Greta to get to sleep, which includes the unkind reports from several nuns about Lulu’s so-called ‘poor behavior unfit for a little lady’.
She couldn’t help but connect this newfound information with Lulu’s troubles earlier this evening. How she’s spent the majority of her life being berated by all of the adults in her life, and the only one who seemed to care was taken away. Greta realizes she’s responsible for healing those wounds, showing her daughter the love that was deprived of her for many years. It’s a daunting task, but Greta is fully prepared for the journey ahead. She wishes to show her all of the love she and the world has to offer. The difficult part is acknowledging who they are, and trying to find the balance between feeling safe and showing her daughter the world’s love. Greta’s love for her, however, would be forever unconditional.
—
Saturday’s weather is sunny but not too hot or humid. After their morning practice, Carson keeps her word and brings Greta and Lulu to the local park for an outing together. If anyone recognizes them, they are just friends from the Rockford Peaches bringing Greta’s daughter to the park. If not, they stick to the story that they’re sisters, with Dana’s ring legitimizing their story by being worn on Greta’s left ring finger.
This park in particular has a duck pond, and thankfully Greta remembers to bring her camera. She takes a couple of pictures of Lulu standing at the edge of the pond, smiling happily as the ducks float in the murky water behind her.
They end up choosing a picnic table close to the park’s baseball diamond to have their lunch, which they brought in brown paper bags. Greta and Carson brought turkey and cheese sandwiches while she packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Lulu.
“Mom?” Lulu asks with a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “After this can you teach me how to bunt?”
Greta smiles. “I thought you wanted to hit a homerun off of me?” she asks cheekily.
“After I learn how to bunt,” Lulu declares.
“Do you want to learn how to catch, too?” Carson asks her. “I’ll show you if you’d like.”
“I’d love that,” Lulu says with a toothy grin.
After finishing their lunches and throwing out their paper and plastic trash, Greta and Carson bring Lulu over to the baseball diamond. Carson sets her duffle bag of baseball gear down next to the pitcher’s mound and opens it, taking out the bats, mitts, and several baseballs.
Carson teaches Lulu how to catch first, having Greta throw the ball into Carson’s mitt, showing her how it’s done. She then has Lulu try and mimic it. Catching apparently isn’t her forte, since she ends up missing several balls, but catches some and that’s good enough to make Lulu happy.
It turns out, however, that Lulu excels at bunting and hitting, especially with Greta pitching to her. She ends up hitting that homerun, with Greta having to chase after the ball. Lulu had already crossed home plate when Greta threw the ball back to Carson.
“I did it!” Lulu exclaims, as Greta lifts her into her arms and kisses her cheek.
“You did,” she says. “I think Coach Carson here should be keeping an eye out for you. She’ll want you on the Peaches in like eight years.”
Carson walks closer towards them, smiling from ear to ear. “Oh, I am,” she says. “Esti was sixteen when she joined us, so if the league is still running in eight years, well…we’ll need you.”
Greta lifts Lulu down to her feet and the child runs off to grab her mitt.
“Mom, Carson!” she says with excitement. “Let’s play catch!”
Carson smirks. “You mean ‘have a catch’?”
Lulu nods and giggles. “That’s what I said,” she fibs jokingly as Greta picks up the ball and Carson grabs their mitts.
They throw the ball around until Lulu eventually gets tired and then make the decision to return home to the Peaches boarding house.
—
Greta is caught off guard by Lulu’s bedtime request that same night.
“Can Carson come and say goodnight to me too?” she asks while Greta’s sitting on the sofa with Carson looking over her game cards. Lulu’s dressed in her frilly pink pajamas, ready for bed.
“Well, I dunno,” Greta says with a surprised smile. It’s an unexpected request, but that doesn’t mean it’s unwanted. The opposite of that actually. “Why don’t you ask her?”
Lulu looks at Carson and gives her a warm smile. “Carson, can you come and say goodnight to me with my mom?” she asks sweetly.
“Of course,” Carson says, getting up off of the sofa with Greta. “Ya know, I have lots of bedtime stories memorized. I can tell you one of them if you’d like.”
“Sure,” Lulu says happily as they head up the stairs to Lulu’s bedroom on the second floor of the house.
Greta’s amused by Carson’s words. Of course she has tons of bedtime stories memorized by heart. She has Lulu get into bed and kisses her goodnight before Carson begins her bedtime story. Greta recognizes it as an abridged and slightly altered version of Gulliver’s Travels where the protagonist is a woman instead.
“Goodnight, sweetie,” Carson says after she finishes her story.
“‘Night Carson,” Lulu says, shutting her eyes. “‘Night mom.”
Greta blows her daughter a kiss and turns off her light, leaving the room with Carson and gently shutting the door behind them.
As they’re walking down the hallway, Carson grabs Greta’s hand, causing her to face her. The shorter woman leans in to kiss her softly on the lips.
“Mmm,” Greta moans. “Not here,” she says.
Greta has Carson follow her down the stairs, out the back door, into the shed and inside their ‘secret’ car. They’re kissing passionately, and she’s stroking Carson’s back with her fingertips when Greta blurts out a question hastily.
“Move in with us,” Greta says. “When the season ends. Come to New York with me and Lulu.”
It’s a longshot, so Greta’s stunned by Carson’s quick and enthusiastic answer.
“Yes,” Carson says almost immediately. “I’ll have to let Lupe and Jess know for rent reasons, but yes.”
Greta kisses Carson on the lips again, showing her gratitude. “Are you sure?” she asks her, doubt clouding her vision once again. “You answered so quickly I want to make sure you’ve thought about it first.”
Carson kisses Greta on her cheek. “I don’t have to think about it,” she says. “I love you and that’s all the reason I need to move in with you.”
As she hears Carson’s words, Greta smiles, completely satisfied with the brunette’s answer.