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in the back of my mind (you died, i killed you)

Chapter 2: sorry (i didn't meant to hurt your pride as a commissioner)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Do you want to know about what I dreamed 2 days ago?”

At this, Ayaka perked up and she broke off her concentration from the board of chess in front of her. Last Ayaka remembered, the dream 2 days ago that Ayato had was something that he didn’t want to tell Ayaka, he opted onto telling Thoma instead.  Nothing hardly broke off her concentration from the game of chess that she and her brother usually plays in the morning, but Ayato telling her about the dream that he didn’t want to tell her, was new.

“Of course.”  Ayaka said. Her brother, albeit not in his best condition, still has his attention glued onto the board of chess in front of him. He looked as graceful as ever, with his kimono draped around his back, sunlight peeking onto his room, touching his face lightly and shining upon his slowly growing hair.

(They had to cut his hair when Ayato first appeared after so long. He had disappeared for 8 years, after all, having been tortured and obtaining such and such wounds. Naturally, his hair would be longer from the lack of care. They had to cut it too short for Ayaka’s liking, but luckily, just as Ayaka last remembered, Ayato’s hair grew back fast.)

Ayato’s expression then grew solemn, Ayaka was about to say that he didn’t have to tell her, if he’s uncomfortable, but Ayato beat her to it.

“I dreamt that I was given the title as a Commissioner, 1 month after our parent’s death,” Ayato finally said, and the silence is loud, too loud for Ayaka’s liking. “In that dream I… wasn’t kidnapped, I wasn’t…” Ayato stopped mid-sentence, and Ayaka noticed his hand trembling slightly, so she reached out to squeeze his hand, and unsqueezes them. “…experimented on, therefore life goes on. I was the Head of the Clan, doing paperwork late at night, whereas you were the one who handles public affairs, as the public favors you more rather than me,” he sighed, he closed his eyes after moving another pawn forward. “It doesn’t feel like a dream, at all.”

Ayaka was at loss of words. She reflected on that, and thought, if only his brother hadn’t been gone for 8 years, would things be the same like Ayato had described? What would become of Ayaka then? Would the blood she spilled lessen if that scenario were to happen? And would Ayato be the one spilling the blood on his hand instead then? Ayaka frowned at that, even if the scenario do sound nice, the thought of his brother doing what she did doesn’t place her at ease.

“It would be nice,” Ayaka commented, at last, even though that was a half-lie. Something about that scenario bothered her. She then stares intently at her brother. “Brother, I promised I would find your perpetrator, and I always keep my promise.” Ayaka’s gaze darkened. “No matter where they went hiding, they cannot escape me.”

Ayato frowned. “Whoa, where did my innocent lil sis go? You turned really scary back there.” Ayato chuckled, before glancing at the chessboard. “Your turn, my dear,”

Ayaka pouted, she was serious about it, why did her brother have to tease her about it? She then at last did as Ayato told her. Glancing at the chessboard again, her frown deepened. “Did you just – did a checkmate? I can’t believe you.” Ayaka massaged her forehead, though a faint smile was present on her face.

Ayato shrugged innocently. “Well, it has become a muscle memory at this point,”

“Muscle memory!” Ayaka scoffed.

Their banter was interrupted by a knock on the wooden door, Thoma peeking inside the room where the two siblings resides. “Didn’t meant to interrupt but,” Thoma cleared his throat. “It is time for milord to take a walk,”

Ayaka quickly interjected. “I can accompany brot –“

“I’m afraid not, my lady,” Thoma looked at her apologetically. “There are some people who wishes to talk about the upcoming festivals outside. They said there are some changes that needs to be adjusted. Also, your meeting with Mr. Takagi is due in an hour.”

Ayaka didn’t hide her sigh, she then looked apologetically toward her brother, who just smiled at her.

“Go do your duty, Lady Commissioner,” Ayato squeezes her hand. “I will be waiting.”

Ayaka smiled, before hugging her brother tightly, and then running outside of the door afterward, not saying anything.

“She must be upset,” Thoma mused as he prepares for the wheelchair.

“For a Commissioner, she’s quite childish,” Ayato shook his head, before accepting the cane that is offered by Thoma. With Thoma’s help, Ayato stood, before sitting down on the wheelchair and basking under the sunlight. There were an incredible improvement indeed, Thoma noted. When Ayato was first found, he couldn’t walk at all with all the fractured bones present in his ankle. They walked around the yard for a while, before Ayato spoke.

“Call Nasagi for me.” Ayato said as he stared at the fresh lavender melon hanging on the tree.

At the command, Thoma frowned. “Are you sure, milord?”

“Yes.”

But Thoma did not do as he was told, he continued to push the wheelchair, letting Ayato see the greeneries he has seen thousandth times before.

“What’s the matter, Thoma? I did not ask you to keep pushing the wheelchair. I asked you to call Nasagi for me.”

Thoma held his breath, holding the wheelchair tightly, he mustered all the courage he has to muster those words: “If you are about to do what I assume you are going to do, with all due respect, milord, I don’t think it is the best decision just yet. A big fight between you and milady are bound to happen.”

Ayato frowned, before holding out a hand to his left. Thoma recognizes it as a command of him asking for his cane, in which Thoma complied. Without looking at the housekeeper, Ayato stood up with the help of his cane. Walking away from the wheelchair, he walked toward the nearest bushes, staring at the fireflies flying away upon his appearance.  

“Are you doubting my decision, Thoma?”

“…Even though I am a servant to you, I am also a servant to milady, milord. And even though I am a servant, I am also a friend of you both, milord as well as milady. In my humblest opinion, I am just worried of what is about to come between you two. Are you sure that the decision is set, and no amount of talking could make you change that decision?”

Ayato sighed, and massaged his temples, a gesture that Thoma noticed, is also a habit of Ayaka’s. “Sibling quarrel is not something that is uncommon, I don’t see what is it to be worried about.” 

“A quarrel big enough can break off even the strongest bond between people, milord.” Thoma bowed his head, then he kneeled before him, kneecap touching the grass that have been watered down by the other servants. “This lowly servant begs you to give it a second thought, milord.”

Ayato stared at the sun hanging above them, and sighed. At this time, Ayaka was probably hearing advices and changes about the festivals, she must have been keeping up her smiles for them. “Then,” Ayato turned around, facing Thoma, to which Thoma raised his head toward him. “As your lord I ask you to trust me.”

Thoma was at loss of words for a while, but he knew, that when Ayato had said so, there’s no amount of talking he could do to get through that thick skull of his. “But –“ Thoma still tried.

“I have predicted and counted the possibilities that are bound to happen, in which all of them wouldn’t result in breaking my bond with Ayaka permanently,” Ayato explained. “And if things ended up going outside of my calculations, which will be an extremely rare case that has never happened before, well, not counting that time I was kidnapped,” Ayato rolled his eyes. “Then I trust that you will be here, helping me mend things, isn’t that correct? May it be for me or Ayaka?” 

Thoma stared at his violet eyes for a while, before finally sighing. “That is correct, milord.”

“Then,” Ayato smiled, his eyes making a rainbow shape. “Thank you, Thoma.”

-

Thoma went into one of the room in the Komore Teahouse, and sat in front of Ayaka who was sipping her tea. Ayaka said he had an important matter to discuss with Thoma, therefore he complied with her request. Noticing that the lady was still busy with the tea he had just poured, Thoma opted to glance at the window and saw the rain outside. Thoma frowned, he hated rainy day in the Komore Teahouse. It remembered him of the day Ayato came back after he has been missing for so long...

That day, it was also rainy day in Inazuma. As Ayaka and Thoma were chatting cheerfully at the Komore teahouse, Thoma excused himself to go out for a while because he had forgotten to take the sandals inside. When he went outside to fetch the sandals, he saw someone laying unconscious on the asphalt. He was bleeding out on the path in a heavy rain, with broken legs, blood seeping out of his hair, and a cut on his stomach. What’s more scary is that, the person’s hair was a shade of similar light blue that he could recognize anywhere.

It was Ayato.

He came back, alive.

Thoma ran toward his lord, screaming for his lady while clutching tightly onto his body, as if by letting him go, they would lose Ayato for the second time.

Upon Ayaka’s arrival, she paled, but braced herself not to faint at such an urgent moment.  

The Yashiro Commission then conducted some questionings toward people of Inazuma to find out about the person who carried Ayato’s body in front of Komore teahouse. The culprit, then, was found. It was a middle aged man working as a dango seller on the street of Inazuma, however, he was found dead jumping off of a cliff. What’s stranger is that, the house of his family has been burned down, along with his remaining family, a wife and a child barely who was barely 7. The fire happened because of an accidental gas leak.

The case has been closed off since.

It has been months, but after that accident, Thoma couldn’t see Komore Teahouse the same again.

“So,” Ayaka finally said, setting down her tea, voice stern and gaze serious. “What do you think about our dear perpetrator who schemed the kidnapping of my brother, Thoma?”

-
Days passed by fast, and it wasn’t strange really, for someone as busy as Ayaka, 7 days is not a long day. Albeit accompanied by restless nights, about what to happen and whether she can survive the meeting with this so-called Dottore, nights of herself walking around the estate because she couldn’t sleep and meeting Thoma, in which ended up with a midnight talk accompanied by Thoma’s tea courtesy from Thoma himself. Of nights of herself whining to sleep beside Ayato instead of Ayaka’s own bed (in which, Ayato complied, of course.)

Ayaka was starting to hate Chinju Forest, she might as well end up dying here, as the forest is always caused her to meet with danger that could cause her to let out her last breath. Ayaka calmed herself down, she got this, she and Thoma had talked about this, and the shuumatsuban are placed nearby to ensure her safety, she will be fine.

Whoever this sicko was, I am ready. I promised Ayato about catching the perpetrator.

Before Ayaka go, Thoma had begged to accompany Ayaka, but she had told Thoma to be beside Ayato.

“We don’t know the situation yet, it could be that the one in danger is not me, but Ayato,” Ayaka had said. “I need you here the most, Thoma, to protect the person most important to me. I presume you could do that?”

At the meeting point, a group of Nobushis came out, and Ayaka’s face darkened. Nobushis always made her remember of the ones torturing Ayato, and there’s nothing she wanted the most than grab her sword and behead all of them. But she knew that if she did that, she would mess things up between her and the perpetrator, therefore she held herself back. 

“Where’s this Dottore you speak of?”

“Patience,” the Nobushi hissed.

Sensing someone behind her, she quickly turned around, only to face a masked figure with light blue hair.

“What an incredible reflexes,” his smile is sinister, before he bow down toward her, hands in front of his stomach. “Pleasure meeting you, my lady,”

-

At Ayaka’s words, Thoma’s ears perked out. He then opened his mouth. “Maybe we should cast our attention back to the man who carried milord’s body back then, milady. It could hold some clue of whether it was the job of a Fatui or not.”

“That’s exactly what I thought.” Ayaka said. “Back then, I did give the case to Heizou afterward, but then, there was a bigger matter that he has to attend to Watatsumi so suddenly.” Ayaka sighed. “I took it as a message from whoever was plotting this, that the detective might as well be in danger had he continued investigating the case, therefore I closed the case,” Ayaka explained. “But that doesn’t mean I let go of the perpetrator just like that, I knew that he would come back to me, well, even though by using some lowly treasure hoarders as the messengers, and that is proven by the incident last 5 days.”

Thoma furrowed his eyebrows. “But how could you predict that he would come back to you and that investigating the case was not needed, milady?”

“It’s easy.” Ayaka opened her fan. “We have believed, that Ayato was dead 8 years ago. Ayato said that the captors did some experiment on him, to gain a potion. Let’s assume that they successfully gained the potion, or not. They had no need of my brother anymore, so, why not just kill him in the spot? Why make troubles threatening the dango-seller to drop his body in front of Komore Teahouse? Making the unaware Kamisato Clan, again, aware of this perpetrator?”

-

Ayaka stared toward the person in front of her.

“So you are the perpetrator behind my brother’s kidnapping,” Ayaka said, tone cold. “Brave of you to appear like this, near me. What made you think there is nothing stopping me from grabbing my sword and stabbing it toward your chest right now?”

At Ayaka’s words, the Nobushis became alert, they placed their hands at the hilt of their swords. The mad doctor laughed, before raising up his hand, a sign for the Nobushis to calm down. “Because what you just said, milady, are nothing but empty words.” The doctor shrugged, he then grabbed something from his coat and showed it toward Ayaka.

“I believe your brother mentioned about a potion, right?”

 Ayaka’s heart felt like it just stopped. Was that…

“If you kill me right now…” The doctor sighed, before shoving his face toward Ayaka so their faces are inches apart. “You wouldn’t know what this potion is, hence, you wouldn’t know about the result of my experiment at all. Your brother’s suffering for 8 years would all just be a waste.”

Ayaka holds her hand onto fist, so tight that her nails are puncturing the palm of her skin, making her hand bled. She stared intently at the doctor,

…before her hardened gaze finally softened, and a chuckle came out of her mouth. She kept chuckling, and her chuckle turned onto a laugh. So she held her laugh with her palms before finally she let out a laugh so loud that the whole forest could hear it.

“Wha… What is wrong with you, have you gone insane?” the doctor hissed. “Stop laughing, you maniac!”

“Ah-ahahah, I’m sorry, it was just so funny,” Ayaka wiped her tear with her fingers, “Was my acting that good that you believed I was scared of you back there?”

“What?”

Ayaka smiled, before walking toward the person who claimed to be the mad doctor. “If you hadn’t a single idea about why I acted the way I did, let me make it clear to you,” Ayaka puled out her fan, then tapped the unfolded fan to the nose of the masked man. “You are no Dottore, no, not a member of Fatui Harbringers, even. If you were, why did you hire a group of treasure hoarders and Nobushis, and not lower rank Fatuis? That’s because… you are not. Even. a Fatui.” Ayaka emphasized.

At her words, the ‘doctor’ took few steps back. “What? You’re funny, is that all the proof you have?” he scoffed.

-

“Ah,” Thoma hummed, but then his eyebrows furrowed again. “But it could just be that he was rescued, no? Maybe the dango-seller saved milord, that’s why all this fuss happened, and maybe, not wanting his family to be tortured because of his doings, he did a mercy-killing to his family before finally offing himself?”

“That cannot happen,” Ayaka said. “Because, that man nor his ancestor had no connection to the Kamisato Clan whatsoever. If his ancestor or him were in debt by the Kamisato Clan in the past, that would have made sense. But no, he was just a common dango-seller in a wrong place and in the wrong time.” Ayaka sighed.

“Ah, I see.”   

“Then, he made all this fuss because he wanted attention,” Ayaka concluded, before closing off her fan. “It cannot be the Fatuis, even their Harbringers, because Fatui was well-known enough, and last I recall, they did their operations stealthily, lest they want to catch the Shogun’s wrath.”

“So,” Thoma’s eyes went wide. “It must be someone outside the Fatui,”

“Correct.” Ayaka pointed her fan toward Thoma.

-

“Oh? Is that an invitation for me to describe who you really are? Be my guest then.” Ayaka then leisurely walks to the left and to the right, her unfolded fan touching her chin. “You wanted to make a potion that made someone immune to all attack, no matter how strong it is. A potion strong enough it could even withstand the Shogun’s lightning, am I correct? That is the reason you torture my brother, to see whether your desired potion could withhold any attack, or not.”

The doctor scoffed. “That is only a hypothesis, this could be any potion.”

Ayaka then gazed sternly toward him, her playful demeanor long gone. “Nevertheless, that hypothesis has 90% of becoming true. Let me describe who you really are then: you are not Dottore, not their Harbringers, not even a Fatui. You are self-proclaimed narcissist who wanted to be someone important enough that the world recognizes you.” Ayaka smiled.

“Y-you… how dare you!”

Ayaka then hummed, looking up. “But why did you want to be someone else so bad? Why Inazuma, and not Sumeru? Not even Liyue? Or Monstadt? Because Liyue has Northland Bank. Whereas Fatui diplomats stood here and there in Monstadt. Hence avoiding their watch because you wanted to impersonate one of their Harbingers. You then chose to go to Inazuma, a closed-off nation in which Fatui can not be seen in public, well, even though that doesn’t mean Fatui is not present at all in this country.” Ayaka rolled her eyes, before looking toward the fake doctor once again. “And what’s the best way of getting the attention you oh-so-desired? Of course, by kidnapping an important figure from one of the Tri-Commission, am I correct?”

“You fucking bitch!” the mad doctor screamed, before hurling a flying knife which Ayaka easily dodged. “Then why, what’s the matter if I am nobody!? It doesn’t! I succeeded in hurting your weak ass brother, in the end!”

Ayaka tsk-ed at the words. “Only because you use dirty ways to do so.”

“You act as if you have never done any dirty ways to handle your ways in your oh-so-graceful Commissioner life, hypocrites!” the doctor angrily shouted. “Get her! Kill her, I don’t fucking care!!!”

Something was wrong, Ayaka sensed it. Even if Ayaka could handle all these Nobushis alone, the member of Shuumatsuban who were situated nearby should have jumped out of their hiding to help her handle the fake doctor’s underlings, so where were they? No matter, Ayaka could look for them latter after making defeating these group of angry Nobushis.

A Nobushi swung his sword toward her chest, Ayaka was about to block it before she felt that she couldn’t lift her hand at all.

…What?

In her panic, she tried moving her legs to avoid the attack, but again, her leg stayed still. She then tried her other hand to get the sword out of her right hand, but –

The Nobushi’s sword met her shoulder, and pain that she felt were excruciating. She would have screamed if her tongue was not immobile. Not being able to move any of her body parts, she fell down toward the ground with a loud thud, the pain follows but it was masked by the pain she felt on her wounded shoulder.

Why… why can’t I move my body?

She desperately thought. Only being able to move her eyes, she noticed a hand across her, hidden under the bush. She recognized the hand, albeit gloved, as Nasagi’s, one of her most trsuted member of Shuumatsuban.

No… so my members was…

Ayaka fet pain on her chest when the mad doctor stepped on her. It was the doctor’s turn to laugh then, it is as if he was mimicking Ayaka’s laugh few minutes ago.

“Was my acting that good that you fell for it?” yep, he definitely did copy Ayaka’s act, how creative. “You underestimate me, albeit a fake doctor. I am stil a doctor, you know. A bad guy at that.”

Ayaka cringed inwardly at the cringey words, but even cringing cannot be done by her as of now. She realized too late that it was…

The air… there was a poisoned gas before we went here!!! That’s why…

“Yes, yes, just because you were smart you must have realized it by now ‘oh no, it must be the air, this fucking guy poisoned the air!’ that’s what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours, right? He pushed his heel onto Ayaka’s chest and Ayaka held her pained expression. It was from the view down there that Ayaka noticed two balls of tissue were inserted on his nostrils.

Their masks! That’s why I didn’t notice, they all inserted those tissues up their nose, and they breathe with their mouth throughout this conversation!

“You know, I was kicked out of Akademiya years ago, rejected by the Fatui, and my family doesn’t even want to see me!” the guy laughed. “Well then, I’ll prove them. With this potion, I will get my place in the Fatui, then maybe I could befriend this Dottore guy, maybe even becomes one of their Harbringers!” he smiled proudly toward himself, before humming and rubbing his chin, as if he was thinking of something. “But you know what, those 8 years I did the research, I only have male subject…” He then stared toward Ayaka, a glint of mischief present on his eye. “Maybe it’s time I experiment on the female subjects.”

Ayaka’s look turned into pure horror, she felt like puking knowing that her fate would be similar of that of his brother’s.

No, no, no, no, no, nono nononono. NO!

But alas, no matter how much she wanted to move, her body wouldn’t respond to her. She felt her body being lifted up by one of the Nobushi, and there’s nothing more she wanted the most than to scream out for help.

Please, move, my body please please PLEASE.

“What of these ninjas, doc?”

All the color drained from her face. No, the Shuumatsuban…

“Kill them all.”

Ayaka closed her eyes, hoping she would wake up with Thoma holding onto her, asking her to wake up.

Let this be a bad dream, let this be a bad dream, please, please, please please please.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Don’t panic, girlie.”

An arrow made its way toward them, and she felt her body being dropped when she saw a symbol almost identical to a Fatui, on the Nobushi’s head.

“Ganging up on a girl like that, that’s not so gentleman of you guys, you know.”

Ayaka opened her eyes when she felt a power of hydro near her. It is hydro, but so unfamiliar from her brother. Her brother’s water were calm, but it was the type of calm that could drown even the biggest elephant dumb enough to step onto the water. This hydro vision… was just a torrent of water, ready to drown out anyone who walked close toward it out of curiosity.

She glanced at the source of voice to see a man with ginger hair, his face covered with red mask and on his hands were water blades.

She swore she could see the man winking at her from his mask.

“Who- who the hell are you!?” the fake doctor shouted.

“I dunno,” the man said, he went toward his battle stance. “But one thing you should know is that, never mess with the Fatuis, ya know?”

When the ginger haired-man dashed forward, loud screams followed.

Ayaka laid there dumbfounded.

No way I was saved by a Fatui… what has become of me…

 

 

Notes:

im considering deleting this fic tbh

Notes:

idk if i liek this ayaka or not:(( but seemingly innocent character being actually cruel is my forte lolol. do you think its really dottore? i'll give you a clue, a harbringer may come in the further chapter, it may not be dottore or may be dottore, feel free to guess which harbringer will actually come and talk with ayaka :)))