Chapter Text
Kite and Colt's house. Kite is sitting outside watching the animals in the yard, drinking tea. They are older now, barely 3 years old by human standards, but physically about 16. They wear their hair down their back in a braid, and are wearing their usual modest clothes. Colt approaches quietly.
Colt: Kite, did you invite Gon over?
Kite: (snapping back to attention) No, is he here?
Colt: Yes, he's at the front door.
Kite immediately gets up, walking past Colt.
Kite: (sternly) Always let Gon or Killua in.
Colt gets a shiver at their tone.
Colt: (obediently) Yes, Kite.
Kite hurries to the door. Gon is on the other side, beaming. They both immediately notice they are roughly the same height now. Gon is wearing his hair back in a ponytail, with loose clothes much like he wore at NGL. Gon starts laughing first, and Kite joins in at the end.
Gon: You got tall!
Kite: So did you, and your voice got deep.
Gon: So did yours! (he laughs again)
Kite: Come in, I was having tea out back.
Gon: Sorry for barging in on you like this. I was in the area in an assignment.
Kite and Gon go to the back and sit down, having tea together in the afternoon sun.
Kite: An assignment?
Gon: (excited) Yeah! I got a job tracking and tagging animals! It's been really great! I've been travelling a lot. I got to see Killua and Alluka a few times too. He has lightning bolts shaved into the side of his head now. It's really cool!
Kite: I noticed you've been letting yours grow out.
Gon: (smooths his hand over his long ponytail) It kinda just happened one day, honestly. It got long enough to put back and I liked how it looked.
Kite: It's been…2 years since I saw you?
Gon: Yeah, it's really wild, huh? You look a lot more yourself.
Kite: (smiling) Some things never change.
Gon: Has Ging come and seen you?
Kite: (smile turns slightly mischievous) He came by a few months ago. Said he's going on some boat trip. I told him to catch me a big fish. Did you get a chance to talk to him is more my concern.
Gon: I did. Few years ago. It was… oddly comforting. He told me to enjoy the detours of life, and since then it makes the days go a little easier.
Kite: Have you visited home?
Gon: (stiffly) Yeah, once or twice. It's the same old Mito (he laughs, slightly forced)
Kite: I'm glad you've been able to find some peace.
Gon: What have you been up to? Do you have to reapply to be a Hunter?
Kite: (chuckles) No, thankfully, I'm still a hunter. Ging and I convinced Pariston that I was capable of still being called a hunter. I haven't done much, honestly. It sounds silly, but growing up is really tiring. I thought I'd never have to deal with growing pains again.
Gon: At least we're both taller than Ging!
Kite: That is true. I've mostly just been dealing with the aftermath of the Chimera Ant War. Helping ants adjust to society, doing repair work and such.
A large bird lands on one of the baths. It is purple with yellow-tipped wings and two feathers poking out the top of its head like antennae. They both stare at it. Gon with wonder, Kite with unease.
Gon: (wistful) The animals out here are beautiful.
Kite: (coldly) That one comes by a lot.
Gon: Does it have a name?
Kite: No.
Gon: Can I name it?
Kite: Sure.
Gon looks the bird over a few times.
Gon: How about Puffy? Since its feathers are always puffed up.
Kite: Puffy it is. (he pauses for a moment) Do you have a place to stay, Gon?
Gon: We have a hotel, but it's hard to sleep in one.
Kite: You're welcome to stay here. As long as you'd like.
Gon: (softly) Thank you. I don't want to be a burden though.
Kite: (shakes their head) We have a lot of time to catch up on, I insist. I could use your help around the house anyway.
Gon: (sheepishly) I'll count it as payback for getting you killed.
Kite: You've already apologized.
Gon: I still feel guilty.
Kite: Is this why you came to see me? Beg for forgiveness again?
Gon: No, no, I just… I really wanted to see you. It's been hard making friends and connecting with people. Its nice to be around someone who understands.
Kite: I will tell you, my memory of my old life is…complicated, so I can't say I'm the same person as before.
Gon: That's kinda of… why I came to see you. (he gets quieter) I feel like nothing and everything has changed since…I died.
Kite was quiet for a few moments, then set their cup down.
Kite: Come with me to harvest for dinner. These things are better spoken about while walking.
Gon: Okay.
Kite and Gon walk down a deep forest trail, both geared with knives and baskets. Gon notices that he walks in perfect step with Kite, their legs are about the same length.
Gon: Do you ever get stuff from the stores anymore?
Kite: Sometimes, but it doesn't taste the same.
Gon: Do you have different taste buds?
Kite: (intrigued) I haven't really thought of that. I suppose so. I've found that more things are edible to me since my change.
Gon: (after a pause) What did you mean when you said memories of your old life were complicated?
Kite: Most of the Chimera Ants came about because of all the humans and creatures the former Queen ate, consciousness and physical forms changed and mixed together. My body was not consumed. My Nen was not consumed. I have memories in my body that aren't mine and sometimes it bleeds together. I know part of me physically remembers being the little girl, but her soul is somewhere else. Sometimes I feel more like I am a ghost that possessed a patchwork corpse, moving it around like a puppet and less like I reincarnated and live and breathe again.
Gon swallows dryly as memories of Kite's corpse being controlled by Terpsichore flash in his mind. It only now occurs to Gon that Kite has no memory of being controlled by Pitou, or of their hug. He realizes it’s probably for the best.
Gon: (quietly) I'm sorry.
Kite stops and faces Gon.
Kite: (stern, but not angry) When are you going to stop apologizing? It was my mistake for dying, not yours.
Gon: (starts tearing up) But you sound so miserable…
Kite: (casually) Some days are harder than others. But I was given a second chance and I count that as a blessing.
Gon: How did you do it? How did you reincarnate?
Kite: I don't know for sure but I have two theories.
They start to walk again.
Kite: One of my Nen rolls only comes up in desperate moments, my Re-roll. Essentially my Nen gets stored in the mace, making it completely physical, carrying my soul. They must've taken it back with them as a souvenir. Next thing I know I'm a bipedal rat.
Gon: (baffled) And your other theory?
Kite: I prayed so hard to see you safe again that I conjured myself into a new form.
Gon: (surprised) For me?
Kite: Of course. When you said you felt nothing and everything was different, what did you mean by that?
Gon: (he touches his chest) I'm still the same Gon physically, but inside I feel like everything is different. I don't know if it's a side effect of Nanika's magic, but I don't connect with people the same. It's gotten hard to trust. No one else seems to understand.
Kite: Most people haven't died and come back to life.
Gon: Exactly. After you're in that state, nothing seems the same. People say they would die for others all the time, but then they leave… (sniffling)
Kite: (tenderly) If it soothes you at all, a lot of this will go away with time. As you get older you realize the ones who left did so for the better. Then the ones who stay are that much more worth it.
They come across a path of logs, covered in bright orange mushrooms.
Gon: Wow! What is that?
Kite: It's called Woodland Chicken. Take some from over here.
Gon kneels down and harvests a few mushrooms with his knife. Kite walks around gathering greens in a basket.
Gon: You're one of the ones that stayed.
Kite: I wish I stayed longer. But now, we get to sort of grow up together.
Gon: Why did--(he sighs) Nevermind.
Kite reaches out and puts a hand on the cheek they had punched in another life.
Kite: You can ask me anything, Gon.
Gon: (trembling) Why did Ging leave?
Kite closes their eyes and takes a deep breath. They sit down on a log and Gon sits down with them.
Kite:( reassuring) You have every right to ask that question.
Gon: (clutching his chest) It feels so raw coming out. Like it's dragging it's claws out of my chest.
Kite puts a hand on his back and leans him over to their shoulder.
Kite: Do you hate him for it?
Gon: I feel like I should. But every time I imagine what my life could have been--a father, a mother, no Hunters, just simple fishers on an island--I… It's not what I want.
Kite: It's not what he wanted either. As strange as it is to say, he left you because he loved you. He knew he would not be a good father, you can't be a Hunter like him and a parent. He left you with the most capable, normal people he knew in hopes that maybe you'd end up normal and safe.
Gon: If he hadn't left I wouldn't have met Killua, or Leorio or Kurapika…I wouldn't have learned about Nen, I wouldn't have become a Hunter myself. All the experiences, good and bad, I wouldn't trade any of it to be a boring fisherman.
Kite laughs, wiping a few tears from their eyes.
Kite: You sound just like him sometimes. He's so proud of you, Gon. And in his weird little way, he loves you very much.
Gon: (tears streaming) I hope he catches a big fish too. (he fidgets with a stick) If I did have one regret, I wish I listened to the whole tape where Ging talked about my mom.
Kite: (surprised) He hasn't told you?
Gon: (embarrassed) No. Back then, I stopped the tape because in my heart I felt Mito was my mom. Now I'd give anything to know the truth.
A wind blows through making leaves swirl in the wind. Puffy flies through the gaps in the trees. Kite watches them fly by with tight lips, it felt too much like eavesdropping.
Gon: Did you know my mom?
Kite: Yes.
Gon: Is… she alive anymore?
Kite takes a deep breath.
Kite: (bluntly) No. She's not.
Gon sighs, unable to control his tears.
Gon: Was she pretty?
Kite: (smiles) Yes, but she had very interesting taste in men. (curious) Gon, in your eyes, what do you think my relationship with Ging is?
Gon: You're very important to each other. He always gets nervous when I bring you up. You always smile when I bring him up. Even before.
Kite: Don't be upset that you didn't listen to the tapes. I don't think Ging would've explained things well. (they sigh and take Gon's hand) You deserve to know the truth…Ging and I are married.
Gon: (eyes widen, trying not to laugh) What? No way! Really?
Kite: (thoughtfully) Yes, it's true. I… I'm your mother. I no longer have the body with the proof that I carried you, but the reason no one knew about your mother is because you've always had two fathers. Some thought that's just a little hard to explain to a kid, but we didn't really think it mattered. Even before, I didn’t really have a concept of gender but it was safest to be assumed a man, and it felt right at the time.
Gon: I'm… still a little confused.
Kite: I was transgender.
Gon: Oh! Like Alluka!
Kite: Yes.
Gon: I--(he laughs, wiping the tears from his face) I don't know what to say… You really married Ging?
Kite: (laughs) Yes, we got married in AiAi on Greed Island. He made that game for you, in case something happened to us. There would still be a piece of the Freecss, maybe something left behind to guide you.
Gon: So… what happened? Why did you leave?
Kite: (sorely) We did come back but… we were pushed away.
Kite stands up and offers a hand to Gon. He takes it and they walk again, slower this time. Gon notices their steps again, making him smile.
Gon: (chuckling) I wondered why I got so tall.
Kite: (amused) You definitely got my legs. And my sense of humor. Ging has me beat on looks and charm though.
Gon: Did we go for walks like this when I was a baby?
Kite: (squeezing his hand) All the time. You learned to crawl in the grass and walk holding onto trees. You would always cry when Ging held you on walks because you wanted to be tall, but you always fell asleep on Ging.
Gon closes his eyes, letting Kite lead the way. Occasionally he would trip a little, or stumble into Kite, but they always responded with a gentle correction. Gon’s breathing slows, almost as if he’s sleep walking. He squeezes Kite’s hand a little tighter, tears flowing down his face. Kite notices and takes a deep breath, matching Gon’s rhythm. They bring Gon closer, linking elbows.
Gon: (voice breaking) It feels so familiar.
Kite walks Gon down to one of the lakes.
Kite: It is familiar. This soul I have now is still the same one that carried you and loved you all these years. There has always been a part of me and Ging in you.
Gon: I don’t think I have a soul anymore. My Nen is gone… everything feels so distant. Even people. Even animals… (he covers his face)
Kite sits Gon on the ground, taking off his shoes and then their own. Gon blinked for a moment as he looked at Kite’s feet, realizing how less human he looks. They help Gon up again and walk him to the water’s edge, standing on the soft shore.
Kite: You have a soul, Gon. You’re Nen isn’t gone, it’s resealed. This time, I advise to not force it open.
Gon: (disheartened) How do you know?
Kite: I have encountered soulless beings. They don’t apologize and cry like you. Can you feel the water?
Gon: Yeah… it’s refreshing. Cool, but not too cold. The ground is soft too. (he takes a deep breath) What are we foraging for here?
Kite: We’re just taking a moment. (they bend down and scoop up some rocks, tossing them out into the water)
Gon does the same. He manages to skip the rock a few times.
Gon: (eyes light back up) Wow! Kite! Did you see that? I skipped it!
Kite blinks, and for a moment they could have sworn they were back on Whale Island, Ging holding throwing rocks with one arm and holding Gon in the other.
Kite: (smiling) I did. Impressive!
Gon: I guess you don’t need Nen to skip rocks. Did we do this too?
Kite: You would laugh whenever Ging made a big splash. (they look down in the water) It feels so relieving to be able to talk about it now (they toss their last rock).
Gon: (weakly) I lied, Kite.
Kite: (plainly) I know.
Gon: (frustrated) You don’t even know what I lied about?
Kite: You lied about coming here because of being on an assignment nearby. If you’re Nen is sealed you wouldn’t be stupid enough to go out Hunting.
Gon shivers into a half laugh-half sob.
Kite: (bluntly)... at least I hope you aren’t.
Gon: No, I haven’t gone back to Hunting. I went back home. I didn’t know what else to do since Killua and the others all had their own paths. I was the only one left without a real direction… so I went home. It was kinda nice at first.
Gon was quiet for a moment.
Gon: Every once in a while, especially when Mito was drunk, she’d make remarks about my mother. Anytime I was stubborn, or disobeyed her, it was always ‘Just like your father, just like your mother’. (agitated) I don’t think she realized I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t… I didn’t know who those people were. I felt like it was my fault that they left. Like there was something wrong with me.
Kite: (briskly) Gon--
Gon:(panicky) I know I should be grateful that she raised me but… moving back in she still treated me like a kid. She remarked on everything I did wrong. She was drinking even more and was unbearable to be around. She would freak out every time I would talk about anything involving Hunting, chastise me about how dangerous it was and how worried she was. How I left her just like he did.
Kite: (bitter) I have not, and will not, ever have anything nice to say about her. (they look away from Gon) The truth is she stole you from us. We left you in her care while Ging and I went on what was supposed to be a relatively easy art trafficking bust but it turned into a political war. Ging and I couldn’t get home or get messages out for a year and when we finally came back, Mito had Ging declared deceased and her your legal guardian. We tried to fight her in court but Ging was legally dead and I was deemed ‘unfit due to lifestyle’. She filed a restraining order against us so we wouldn’t try and steal you back-- (tone harsh, looking back at him) because you'd better damn believe we already planned it.
Kite’s eyes start flooding. They touch their wet cheeks and look at Gon. Gon’s eyes are distant and blank.
Gon: (blankly) I hate her.
Kite pulls him into a hug, both falling to their knees and sobbing. Kite’s aura envelops them both, the feeling washing over Gon like a lullaby, allowing him to give one final sob before sighing.
Kite: I love you, Gon.
Gon: I love you too, Kite.
Kite: (heartbroken) I’m sorry that she treated you so poorly. Ging and I decided it was better to let her have her way than to have you grow up with us fighting all the time. He felt that would’ve made you feel guilty.
Gon: It hurts, but it feels better knowing now. She always tried to make it seem like she understood me, because we were ‘family’, but I never could relate to her. Even in the short moments with Ging I felt he understood me.
Kite: You can always come home to me. And if you ever need to go to Whale Island again, I will come with you.
Gon: (sighs in relief) That makes me feel better. I just kinda left so a lot of my stuff got left behind.
Kite: I can be there for you now. To be honest, I was only a few years older than you are now when I had you.
Gon: You don’t happen to have pictures do you? I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, and now I know all the lies Mito told…
Kite: All the pictures would be at Whale Island, if Mito didn’t already cut our faces out. Ging might have some. He is very sentimental sometimes.
Gon: (excited) We’ll take lots of new ones then!
The waves roll gently against their knees and thighs.
Gon: We should probably get up, I didn’t mean to bring you down with me.
Kite: I brought us here for a reason, if you are willing to try something that might seem a little silly.
Gon: (voice rough) I’d want nothing more.
Kite: (amused) Let’s call it… a family tradition. Take your hair down.
Gon and Kite take their ponytails out. Kite shakes out Gon’s hair playfully.
Kite: The humans didn’t notice this at first, but the Ants are actually religious. The Queen was not just our mother, but our creator. I’ve spent a lot of time studying and understanding that religion.
Gon: Do you follow it?
Kite: Yes, I...I founded it. Well--sort of. (sympathetic) After the death of Meruem, some of the other Ants came to me looking for help, they didn’t know what to do or where to go without the Queen or King. Everyone had their place, their rank, their job. Without that, it was hard for the Ants to adjust. Humans certainly didn’t take to a lot of them well. We built a little community together, mostly focused on supporting each other. We worship the way animals do.
Gon: (amazed) So you’re like their God?
Kite: (chuckles) No, no, I just help bridge animal and human. I’m simply guiding them. I’m going to show you how I taught the Ants to cry.
Gon nods, listening intently.
Kite: Because the Ants are a mix of human and beast, many of them never had the means to express emotional depth before. Crying was one of the most confusing ones for them to grasp. They said humans cry over everything. I taught them that it was their way of releasing, like how the rain is released from the clouds when they get too heavy. Some of them couldn’t figure out how, so we came up with this ritual. Watch me first.
Kite rinses their hands in the water.
Kite: First, we cleanse our hands. (they close their eyes) Then, we express gratitude to the cycles of nature. (a pause, voice calm) I am grateful for all that nature provides, and for the life I have in it’s perfection and it’s faults. (they open their eyes) Now you. Focus on what makes you grateful to be alive and the joys you’ve had in life.
Gon rinses his hands slowly.
Gon: (he tears up a little again) Even with all the regret? And the people I’ve hurt?
Kite: That’s what goes in the water. Even though you don’t have your Nen opened right now, imagine like you are meshing your En with the water.
Gon: (hesitant) I… am grateful for all nature provides, and for the life I have in it’s perfection… and it’s faults.
Kite: Good. Next, we build up the emotions like the water in the cloud. I focus on whatever I’m hurting on in that moment, however old the wound is. The next part, the release, has a few methods. I’ll show you the most common one, and then my own personal one.
Gon: This feels like Nen training.
Kite: It should. This is modified version of things Ging taught me. You’re essentially building up to a Ren release. Right now, I’m going to get mad at Mito.
Kite’s aura changes, and although Gon cannot see it, he feels the air around him chill. Kite stares blankly ahead, their eyes half lidded and breathing slow, but intense.
Kite: (voice trancelike) When you feel your cloud is ready to burst, scoop up a handful of water and pour it over your head, and let the water trickle down like tears.
Kite cups their hands together, bringing it carefully over their face and pouring it over. They do this a few times until they are soaking wet from head to toe.
Gon: I see, it’s simulating crying.
Kite: Exactly.
Gon: What’s your method?
Kite: (fondly) This is the special Freecss method, Ging’s very own cleanse and release. I’m going to get mad at Mito again.
Gon feels nauseous as Kite’s stare becomes like fire. He notices the animals have gone quiet, and the fish swim away. Kite grits its teeth, then takes in a huge breath in before dunking their head underwater and screaming until the water seems to boil around them. Gon touches a bubble out of curiosity and gets a jolt of ear ringing dread before he shakes his hand and the feeling passes. Kite flings their head back up, gasping for breath. Their aura is completely calm again.
Kite: (squeezing hair out) It seems silly, but it works wonders. The Ants love it.
Gon smiles, taking a few deep breaths. He sits for a few moments scowling, unsure of what to feel. He was already exhausted from crying. He remembers cooking with Mito and accidentally burning the sauce. He remembers her yelling at him, blaming him for being distracted. Just like his father . He felt the tears come again as he clenches his fists, taking in a deep breath.
Gon: (shouts) I am just like my fathers and I’m proud of that!
He dunks his head under the water, screaming out all the pent-up rage, guilt, worries, and disappointments, every shame that was inflicted on him was now bubbling away. He pulls his head out, coughing a bit.
Kite slaps his back a few times to get the water out.
Gon: Eugh-- Does it count if I swallow the water?
Kite: Absolutely. Just don’t get pneumonia.
Gon: I…(he laughs) I feel so much better… I feel so much lighter! (he laughs) And free!
Kite stands back up and helps Gon up as well.
Kite: Keep this in mind when that heavy feeling comes up again. I do this ritual every few months, but you can do it as often as needed in a bathtub or sink.
Gon: Will you teach me to cook, too?
Kite: (chuckles, a little surprised) I’m not the best cook. That was sort of Ging’s specialty, but I can bastardize a few recipes for you.
Gon takes Kite's hand and they walked home together, in sync as usual. As they approach the door to the house, Kite stops dead in their tracks. They put an arm out to stop Gon. He looks up and sees a white cat sitting at the steps. It is obviously feral, covered in scars and missing one of its front paws.
Gon: Oh! A kitty! (he jogs forward, putting a hand out)
Kite rushes forward and catches up.
Kite: (worried) Gon, be careful.
The cat hisses and swipes at Gon, but he dodges his hand and pets it's head, confusing the animal. Kite is staring with wide eyes as the cat purrs and bumps up against his hand.
Gon: I didn't know you had a kitty.
Kite: I don't. It's a stray. I just treat it when it limps on my doorstep.
Gon: It brought you payment, it looks like.
Gon points to the dead rabbit next to it. Kite scowls and picks up the rabbit.
Kite: (growling) I guess we'll use it tonight since it's already dead. (walking into the house) I don't need payment.
Gon pets the cat, who is now wildly purring. It flops down on its side and kneads the air. Gon laughs and presses on the toes.
Gon: I'll call you… Bean Toe. (whispers to the cat) I'll bring you some food out later.
Bean Toe: Nyaa~ru!
Gon: (laughs, a little off) You sound kinda familiar.
Kite: (from the kitchen) Gon, help me skin this.
Gon: Coming!