Chapter Text
It’s loud as hell in the room, seven voices all talking over each other while Kevin sits back with a patient look on his face and Renee smiles, taking small sips from her soda. Aaron is fidgeting with his special green and black dice, rolling them over and over in his hand while he argues with Andrew about whether or not Neil should be allowed to do what he’s trying to do. Neil, for his part, is yelling back and forth with Matt, who has one large hand curled into a fist on the table while the other is pointing right at Neil’s smug, smirking face. Neil looks more alive than ever, eyes alight with mischief, smile sharp and wicked as he snaps his teeth at Matt, prompting more yelling. Nicky and Allison are begging them to sit down, not to throw any punches, keep their hands on the table. Dan is yelling at them all to please, God, shut the fuck up . Finally, Matt slams a hand on the table, rattling everything on it and shocking the whole group to silence.
“That’s enough! Neil fucking Josten, you cannot keep killing my character in every fucking campaign!” Silences reigns for a moment before it’s broken by, of all people, Andrew.
“His middle name is Abram, actually.” Matt’s forehead smacks into the tabletop, hard, and Neil laughs in delight.
“Matt, my beloved best friend, I think you’ll find that, actually, I can keep killing your character! I can do whatever I want, Matt, because I think it’s funny.” Matt’s hand clenches in a mimicry of choking the life out of Neil. Kevin finally breaks in.
“Matt, please refrain from giving yourself a concussion. We have a game this week. Neil, Matt, roll.” Neil nods and picks up his d20.
“No problem. Andrew, blow on my dice.” Andrew obliges without comment, straight-faced, and Neil rolls the die. It ends its roll on a 1 and Matt cackles. Kevin nods serenely and makes a note in his notebook.
“Fucking sucker. Dan, baby, let’s show them how it’s done.” Dan leans over to blow on Matt’s die and Matt rolls. Nat 20. Matt whoops and shoots out of his chair, hands in the air as Neil gapes at the dice.
“What the fuck. What the fuck?” Neil is muttering under his breath as Kevin nods and makes more notes in his notebook. He allows the chatter for a few moments, flipping a couple pages ahead, reading something, and flipping back. Then he clears his throat and once quiet settles among them, he looks around the table seriously.
“Neil. Matt obliterates you. There’s no other way to say it. You’re dead. Gone. He hits you once and you are vaporized from the face of the earth.”
Raucous uproar sounds across the table, Neil swearing at Kevin, then Matt, then Kevin again, demanding a reroll, Matt cackling loudly, Andrew pinching the bridge of his nose, Aaron swearing at Neil for yelling at Kevin, Dan, once again, shouting for them all to shut up. Kevin is, as always, the calm in the chaos, sipping from his water while staring blankly back at Neil. Renee is covering her mouth politely while giggling, while Allison is toppled over in her lap, screaming with laughter. Nicky has his face buried in his hands, shaking his head back and forth dejectedly, muttering something that can’t be heard over the others. They’re interrupted by a loud banging on the suite door and they all cut off abruptly to twist and stare at the door.
“Maybe if we’re really quiet they’ll go away,” Aaron whispers from where he’s sprawled halfway across Kevin’s lap to get at Neil on Kevin’s other side. Unfortunately, the foxes have no such luck, since the banging starts up again. They all collectively sigh, and Nicky seems to mutter something that sounds an awful lot like ‘not again.’ They stare at each other for a few moments, and Andrew is the one who gets up to answer the door, despite it not being his room. He throws open the door to glare up at the person on the other side. Despite his reputation, his glare seems to have little to no effect on the slender man opposite him.
“Look, I don’t really care what the fuck you guys are doing in here all the time, but it needs to fucking stop. I don’t care what it is! It’s past one AM on a Tuesday! It’s fucking quiet hours , you dickheads. As your RA, it’s my job to make sure you guys follow the rules, so if you all don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to write you up. This is the fifth time this month I’ve had to come tell you all to shut the fuck up, and honestly? I’m tired of it. And you need to find a scarier person to answer the door, Minyard, because I’m not scared of you anymore. The terror left my body the minute I saw you in fluffy pink pajamas last time. Now if you all would shut the fuck up, I’d really appreciate it. Bye.” With that, the man leaves and Andrew turns to face his teammates, looking vaguely disgruntled.
“He wasn’t scared of me,” Andrew mutters, shutting the door behind him as he makes his way back to his seat. “Everyone is scared of me.” Neil nods sympathetically at Andrew and tugs his hair.
“Yes, Drew, you’re very scary. Unfortunately, we have bigger problems. Such as the fact that I'm dead and I should not be. Andrew, make Kevin let me reroll.” Andrew pushes Neil away, scowling, and clenches his fists on the table.
“No, I’m going to bed. Fuck this.” He pushes away from the table and leaves the room altogether. Neil glances at the rest of the group and shrugs. He turns to Kevin and leans forward with a smile.
“So, Kevin, baby, what do I need to do for a reroll?” Kevin curls his lip and restrains Aaron, who tries to get his hands around Neil’s throat.
“You’re not getting a reroll. You can, however, continue on with the campaign as a ghost. You can’t do anything with a major impact but you can knock shit over and be a nuisance, if you want.” Neil sits back with a pout and glares at Matt.
“This is your fault.” Matt gives an exaggerated gasp, placing one hand delicately over his heart.
“My fault? How so? I would think it’s the fault of whoever tried to kill the other person first, wouldn’t you?” Nicky chimes in with unwelcome commentary.
“Honestly, Neil, if you didn’t keep trying to kill Matt in every campaign, this wouldn’t happen.” The look Neil shoots Nicky should have melted the flesh from his bones. Dan looks directly into the camera that’s been recording their antics for the last hour, dead-eyed and tired of trying to control her team. She mouths something at the camera that viewers will later translate as ‘kill me now’ as Neil starts laying into Nicky viciously. Aaron comes to Nicky’s defense, telling Neil that he can’t speak to Nicky that way, and Neil turns his tongue on Aaron instead, swearing at him with a vengeance that no cameras have ever seen until now. Allison cuts in before things can get any uglier – or any louder.
“Well, since Andrew left, should we pack up for the night? I don’t want to continue if we’re missing one of us.” Neil reaches for Andrew’s dice with a smirk.
“I’ll play for him. And, since it’s Andrew’s turn, I want him to kill Matt.” He starts shaking his hand to roll the dice as the room once again erupts into yelling.