Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Louis sings quietly to himself, clicking his pen against his thigh, “And whenever you fall at my feet…” He trails off, looks up from his notebook, gives Liam a glance, then, proceeds to make a frustrated noise. “I can’t think of any more lyrics for the chorus.”

“You can’t give it up now.”

“Yes I can.” Louis argues, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “Fuck, why is this so hard?”

Liam doesn’t say another word at first. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to make a sarcastic comment in reply to Louis’s frustration, and reaches across Louis to guide the notebook out of potential harm's way. He reads the open page over, “Look, you’ve already gotten the first verse down and it’s lyrically ingenious. I think it’s brilliant,” Liam admits. “‘I’m really close tonight and I feel like I’m moving inside him?’ Bloody amazing. ‘Lying in the dark, I think that I’m beginning to know him?’ Ace. These are a great foundation. Just give it a bit more thought.” He hands Louis’ notebook back to him.

Louis listens to him, truly taking what he has to say into consideration. Liam wouldn’t bullshit him. If he didn’t like the song, he would say so. After all, their friendship is built mostly on truth.

He sings, “And whenever you fall at my feet…” over and over, peering around the room, desperate for some sort of fire to ignite his inspiration. It’s once he looks into the ominous darkness outside Liam’s study window and he hears the rain pattering against the roof that he finds exactly the thought he needed. Perhaps he can incorporate rain or weather into the chorus somehow, someway.

He starts scribbling down lyric after lyric on the lined paper in front of him, crossing them off when he finds displeasure in them. He does this for nearly five minutes with Liam watching his every action with curiosity. Once he’s completely satisfied, he sets the pen down, and sits up confidently.

Liam gestures for him to sing it, “Let’s hear it then.”

“Calm down. Keep your excitement to a minimum,” Louis smirks. “Alright here we go,” He starts off a bit shaky, but once he discovers a proper rhythm, it flows well. “And whenever you fall at my feet, won’t you let your tears rain down on me? Whenever I touch your slow burning pain.” Louis doesn’t say anything after finishing the chorus. He waits for Liam’s criticisms, impatiently, glowering at the younger man for a response.

“You want my honest opinion?”

“No, I want you to lie to me,” Louis quips. “Of course I want your fucking honest opinion.”

Liam raises his hands in mock surrender, “Hey, be nice,” He warns. He lowers his hands to rest on his lap, “In my honest opinion, I think that Harry’s going to love it. Your voice is best for ballads, so it genuinely draws in that emotional factor. The lyrics will mean a lot to him.”

“I hope so.”

“And he has no idea that you’re writing a song to serenade him with?”

“No, he’s completely clueless. I hope the song means something to him. I tried my best to incorporate epilepsy. You can tell right?”

“Well, falling at someones feet doesn’t necessarily strike me as positively inclined. Even if you weren’t alluding to epilepsy, falling at someone’s feet is a negative image, to me at least.”

“That’s exactly what I was aiming for.”

Liam admits, “I jotted down a few lyrics. I know you wanted this to be an independent project, but just take a look at them. If you don’t want to use them, maybe I can write another song based around them for a different album.”

“Quit rambling and let me hear what you’ve got, yeah?”

Rather than singing, Liam reads the words he wrote minutes earlier off of a scrap piece of paper, “The finger of blame has turned upon itself and I’m more than willing to offer myself.”

Louis slowly nods his head. He likes that, in fact, he likes that a lot, “That would make for a lovely intro for the bridge.”

“You like it then?”

“I like it a lot.” Louis replies. The two of them fall silent until Louis speaks moments later, “Do you want my presence or need my help?”

“Pardon?” Liam asks, confused.

“Do you want my presence or need my help? That’s it! That’s the next lyric.”

Liam smiles, “I think you finally have it, Tommo. A few more lyrics and touch-ups and you’ll have yourself a brilliant love anthem.”

“I just want this to be memorable for him. Our first show of the UK leg, a special song for him. I want this to mean the world to him.”

“It's nice to have it happen in London, since you’ll be closer to home.”

Louis shrugs at him, “I don’t think location matters as much as purpose. It just so happens to work this way." Instantaneously, he’s letting out an obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching his arms above his head. “Bloody hell, what time is it? I’m absolutely knackered.”

“Uh -” Liam clicks the home button on his IPhone. “Half past three.”

“In the morning? Shit, where did the time go?” Louis rubs his bleary eyes with his knuckles. “Might as well head to bed.”

“You’re not going to give Harry a ring?”

“He’s probably asleep. I don’t want to wake him. You know how he is about his sleep.”

“Soph is the exact same way. She’s an early bird, never goes to sleep past midnight, that is, unless we’re clubbing.”

Louis admits, “I didn’t expect anything less.”

It’s nice to have time to relax. Liam invited Louis, specifically, to come spend a week, “or longer, stay however long you want Lou, no rush”, at his mansion is Wolverhampton. They’re on break in between their US leg and UK leg. He claimed that he wanted Louis to have a break from his stressful obligations.

Louis had been hesitant at first, after all, Harry is still traveling down the road to recovery. Four months after surgery, as it is finally nearing the end of October, and he’s still working himself back up to the normal, old Harry. Though Louis has been told time and time again that Harry will most likely never be exactly the same as he had been before the operation and he should not anticipate a 100% recovery, he holds Harry up to a completely different standard.

Once Sophia became involved with convincing him to come spend time with the both of them it was over as soon as it had started. She sweet talked him into it. The girl is talented at persuasion and manipulation. “Forget fashion design Smith! You should be a damn lawyer.” He had said, after admitting defeat.

Harry had taken well to Louis telling him he was going on a trip with Liam, in spite of the fact that the trip actually equaled a stay in Liam’s five million pound mansion, which was information he would tell Harry all about once he saw him again.

Considering Louis was far too lazy to call his sister-in-law, he didn’t want to be stuck on the phone with her as she does talk a lot, Sophia was the one who had called Gemma, being a close friend of hers, and asked her to stay with Harry while Louis was away. Gemma, being the loving sister she is, agreed to having a “sibling’s week” with Harry. After all, she could work her column for The Debrief on her laptop, thus all was fine by her.

Louis had never been to Liam’s place before this week, once he arrived he was thoroughly impressed. The first thing he had noticed was the outstanding security the mansion had.

Something Harry and I should look into, he had immediately thought.

Liam’s house is complete with a large heated pool, which he reassures Louis they can use, even though it’s the middle of fall. Louis calls bullshit, automatically assuming Liam is pranking him.

The house is three stories and Liam spent practically half the day showing Louis around. It’s complete with many balconies, a tennis court, a cinema, a ballet studio, and anything else a wealthy man could ever possibly want, not to mention need.

"You can find the way to your room, right? I'm going to clean up the study up a bit before I head to bed. I'll see you in the morning. Soph was talking about making omelettes, make sure you’re up before noon this time if you want some."

“You’ve gotten yourself quite a girl Liam,” Louis comments. “I’ve been staying here for three days, I’m sure I’ll be able to find my way to the guest room.” He stands up from the couch and bids Liam one final goodbye before curtly exiting the room. “Okay, so, down the hall and to the...right, right?” he mutters to himself in a confused daze. He doesn’t know how it’s possibly three am, last time he checked the clock it had only been eleven thirty.

He walks down the mediocrely illuminated hallway, side-eyeing a few framed photos, all consisting of either family, Sophia, or the boys. The bedroom he’s staying in has a white door, which he is relieved to see at the very end of the hallway. He strides to the door, thrusts it open, and subsequently slides inside the huge bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

The bedroom is enormous. The king-sized bed stands high off of the ground, four large pillars, one at each corner of the bed, hold the mattress up. A nightstand sits on either side of the bed. There’s a desk at the opposing end of the suite, a dark blue suede chair is nearby, and an Mac laptop lies on top of the desk. The rest of the room is filled with color coordinated decor. Everything is in shades of blue, ranging from sky blues to sapphire blues.

He flicks the light on and exhales a sigh, “Pajama bottoms.” He mutters to himself, gazing around the room quizzically, “Ah,” He whispers, pointing out the black bottoms to himself once he recognizes them, strewn across the back of the suede chair,

They’re his favorite pair, the inside is a soft cotton material, a Belgian flag is printed on the left hip, Harry had bought them at a corner store in Belgium over a year ago. There had been a t-shirt that came with them, a large Belgian flag printed on the front as well, but Louis had, not so surprisingly, misplaced it.

He pulls his skinnies off, standing only in his dark blue underpants in the middle of the bedroom. The reason he’s dressed in normal clothes is because Liam insisted on treating him to dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant with a dress code. The last few days he’s been wearing pajamas and sweats around the mansion.

He snatches the pajama bottoms off of the back of the chair and gives them a once over, brushing his fingers against the fabric. A fond smile grows on his own face as he thinks about the enthusiasm and thought that Harry had put into buying him the pajama set. It was a sweet gesture.

Though, it wasn’t an uncommon gesture. Harry buys him souvenirs from every city they visit, even if they’ve visited multiple times. They vary in size and value, sometimes he buys things as little as keychains with engravings on them or things as big as comforter sets. With that in mind, they probably own more comforter sets and blankets than anyone else in the world.

Louis smiles and shimmies his bottoms up his legs and past his hips and bum. He tugs his shirt off and tosses it off to the side, he’ll most likely clean up the mess he’s made before he leaves at the end of the week.

After flipping the light back off,  he lays down in bed, underneath the covers, and grabs his cell phone from the nightstand. He flicks through his immediate notifications. There’s nothing too particularly interesting, aside for a sweetly written goodnight text from none other than his Harry.

Goodnight Lou! I hope you’re having a great time with Liam and Sophia, you truly do deserve some fun for change. I can’t wait to hear about it when you come home. I miss you terribly. I love Gemma, but my sister, obviously, is no comparison to you. Anyways, goodnight babe. I love you lots and lots.x

Louis smiles at the text. He pulls up the contact picture he has set for Harry, a goofy selfie Harry had taken when Louis was out of the room. His eyes are the size of saucers, his mouth wide open, dimples outrageously denting his cheeks, and his obscene tongue sticking out. It’s a recent picture. He has no idea when Harry took it, but judging by the background he guesses that it was on the tour bus.

He swallows harshly, inspecting the picture closely. This is his Harry. He’s more than thankful for him. He doesn’t want to wake Harry up by sending a text, therefore he decides that he’ll message him back in a few hours when he wakes up, when it’s a more orthodox hour. Harry has always been on his back for staying up so late.

After scrolling through twitter for a bit longer and reading enough tweets to make him physically feel his brain cells dying off, his eyelids feel unbelievably heavy, which is his indicator to go to sleep. He slides his phone underneath his pillow, partially so he can get to it quickly if someone calls and partially so no one else looks through his phone. Of course, it’s password protected and all, but he’s rather obvious with all of his passwords, meaning easy access for Liam. He’s not hiding anything, but he’s almost positive there are some pictures underneath his camera roll that would not thrill Liam. It’d be different if Liam liked dicks, especially Harry’s dick.

And of course, that strange fling Liam had with Zayn doesn’t count, does it?

Slowly, his breathing evens out, his eyelids flutter shut, and he’s no longer deep in thought as sleep takes over his body.

When he wakes up to the sound of birds chirping outside the window, he's not exactly the happiest person in the world. There’s a huge tree outside, where Liam informed Louis there are many, many creatures living. “Don’t you have to fucking hibernate. Let me sleep.” He complains, through clenched teeth. He covers his head with his pillow, groaning loudly in annoyance. He could use another hour, or seven, of sleep.

Nearly five minutes of groaning and cursing the birds out under his breath pass before he decides that all hope is lost and he might as well get up. He checks his phone, grimacing when he reads that it’s only eight thirty, he could have slept until two in the afternoon and Liam truly would not have stopped him. He might have been annoyed, but he wouldn't have stopped him.

On his lockscreen, he sees the few social media notifications and a scattering of texts from Lottie, how have u been????? i miss u big broooo love youuuu xx, Stan, we should get together for some fifa.. so i can kick ur ass...AGAIN HA!!, Zayn, joint lit!! :DDDDDD you wish you were here bro :PP, Niall, next time yer comin t ireland w me !! fucking love ireland !!!!!!!, and finally, Harry, Good morning! I don’t know if you got my goodnight text, I’m sure you’re busy, but I hope it was delivered. If it wasn’t, I just wanted you to know that I love you and I hope you’re having a marvelous time! I love you!xx.

Louis smiles at Harry’s texts, he’s so proper, even when he texts. His thumb brushes against the screen as though he can physically feel Harry’s presence through his phone. He thinks over a reply for a few seconds, before he type it out and sends it, Good morning sweetheart ! I did get your message but I fell asleep before I could send a reply . Thank you for that ! I love you more than anything in the whole wide world !! Hope you slept well !

He locks his phone and clutches it in his hand as he pulls the covers off with his other hand. Even though the kitchen is downstairs, he can vaguely smell some kind of herbal fragrance mixed with bacon, which he guesses Sophia is using to make the omelettes. He knows the smell of herbs way better than he should, thanks to Harry and his odd vegetarian phases.

He steps out of bed, goes into the bathroom for his morning toilet run, and then gives himself a once over in the mirror. He wets his fingertips down and proceeds to run them through his hair. He opts out of pulling a t-shirt on before he swiftly exits the suite. He makes his way down the hallway, down the spiral staircase, and into the spacious kitchen.

Liam sits at the island, dead center in the kitchen, and Sophia stands, facing him, with her back pressed to the counter as she waits for the bacon behind her to thoroughly cook.

“There he is!” Liam cheers when he sees Louis enter. “I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up.”

“It’s only half past eight,” Louis argues. Nevertheless, he knows Liam is only attempting to get on his nerves, yet he’s entirely succeeding. “Morning babe,” He waves at Sophia. “I see Liam has been a whole lot of help to you. He’s probably only sat there and annoyed you all morning, am I right?”

“Spot on.” Sophia smiles. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun on top of her head and she only wears one of Liam’s t-shirts to cover her petite figure. “But then again, does he ever do anything else?”

Louis laughs, “Very true, but he shouldn’t leave the cooking all up to you.”

Liam tries to explain himself, “We all know I’m not the best chef.”

“Defensive lad,” Louis snickers. “Do you need any help Sophia? I’d be glad to be of assistance.”

“Yes, would you be a darling and get the potatoes? They’re in that cabinet right behind you.”

“Of course,” He sets his phone down, proceeds to turn to the cabinet and he pulls out the hefty bag of potatoes. He takes them over to Sophia and drops them on the countertop. “Anything else?”

“If you really want to you can dice them into one inch pieces.”

“Should I peel them first?”

“Nope, that’s quite alright, we want to leave them unpeeled. Apparently, they’ll taste better this way. Delia Smith taught me this recipe.” Sophia opens a drawer and pulls out a knife. She holds the blade down as she hands it to Louis. “If you cut three of them it should be enough. Thank you.”

“Careful Tommo, don’t cut your finger off.” Liam smirks to himself.

Louis turns around, pointing the knife in Liam’s direction, “Don’t test me,” He warns. Liam raises his hands in mock surrender, fighting the urge to smile. Louis turns around once again, his front pushed to the counter. “And for the record, I’ve actually improved a lot in my cooking skills. Someone had to cook at home for the last few months. I can only eat so much fast food. I eat enough shit when we’re on the road.”

“If only Liam was like you when I’ve fallen ill in the past. Honest to god, he’d let the both of us starve to death or he’d eat pizza until he exploded if it weren’t for me.” Sophia huffs.

“Not true,” Liam pipes up. “I’ve made cereal.”

“You haven’t made cereal, you donut,” Sophia laughs. “You simply get the box from the cupboard and pour it into a bowl. That’s nothing special.”

Louis laughs quietly to himself as he cuts the first potato into four quarters.

Liam rolls his eyes, “Anyway. I was thinking instead of making dinner here tonight we could go out.”

“Oh you mean like we have for the past three nights?” Louis arches an eyebrow. Sophia laughs, shaking her head, and she collects the first successfully cut potato into a pan. She sets the pan back on the stovetop and flips the knob to the lowest temperature. She waits on Louis for the next two diced potatoes.

Liam groans, “Fuck you.”

“Easy, love. There’s a young lady around. Maybe later,” Louis hushes. Liam doesn’t give him the satisfaction of responding, Louis brings it upon himself to keep the conversation intact. “So, Liam, where do you suggest we go then?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well...I don’t know the area, so that leaves the two of you to come up with something.”

Sophia suggests, “There’s a brilliant Chinese restaurant a tad -” Sadly, she’s interrupted mid-sentence.

Watson, Ralph, and Loki come running out of no where, instantaneously, and they start circling Sophia's legs like hawks hover above prey. She bends down, petting the top of their heads, “Well hello there. You’re hungry aren’t you? Liam, will you feed them?”

A sigh. “Sophia.”

“Please?” She pouts her bottom lip out in a cute gesture, but Louis can see the mischievous glint in her eyes.

“I suppose,” He grumbles. “Come on. Time for breakfast.“ Standing up, he clicks his tongue against his teeth, and walks out of the kitchen. All three dogs trail behind him.

“You have him whipped.”

“Oh believe me, I know,” Her lips pull into a devious grin. “As I was saying, there’s a nice Chinese restaurant a tad farther into town.”

“Alright Dr. Dolittle, as long as they have good egg rolls, count me in.” Louis agrees.

“All of their food is rather good. I think you’ll enjoy it,” Sophia says. “If you’d prefer we can get takeaway and have it delivered to the house.”

Louis shrugs his shoulders, “It doesn’t matter to me.”

A third voice drifts its way back into the conversation, “I was actually thinking we could go clubbing tonight, after dinner, of course,” Liam says as he walks into the kitchen. He takes a seat at the island once again. “I haven’t taken you to any clubs yet, we’ve only been hanging out around the house. I’m sure you’d like to go out for a few drinks and have a few drunken dances.”

“I’ll be the designated driver,” Sophia offers. “I’m sure you plan on inviting Andy and he always manages to get more than a few shots in you. There’s no need for two members of One Direction to crash a car now is there?” She takes the last of the cut up potatoes and tosses them into the pan. She covers the top and flips the temperature dial up higher.

“It sounds ideal if you ask me,” Louis nods. “I’m always up for clubbing, you know that.”

“Great. We can leave for dinner at eight and be at the club at around nine thirty.”

Sophia smiles, “That settles it then. Oh and breakfast should be done in like ten minutes. I only have to make the base for the omelette.”

“Need anymore help?”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you Louis.” She goes to the fridge and collects an egg carton and milk. She carries them to the counter and begins to create the base for the omelettes, mixing eggs, milk, salt, and pepper in a large bowl.

Louis sits beside Liam.

Sometimes Liam’s a bit too curious and only proves that characteristic to be true when he asks, “Have you spoken to Harry?”

“Yeah. He’s texted me a few times. Why? Is there something I need to know?”

“I was only wondering. You two are nearly inseparable. I’m surprised you were convinced enough to come spend a week here with us.”

“I just figured, after your girlfriend's nagging,” Sophia throws her head back and sticks her tongue out at him, “that we have roughly a month of touring left and then a year break starting in March. I’m going to have plenty of time to spend with him. I think we both needed a break from each other. We’ve been together everyday for the last four months. Sometimes the situation becomes overwhelming. I'm sure you know, I’m downright mean when I’m overwhelmed. This entire situation has been quite exhausting. I needed a break from it. You gave me the perfect opportunity. I took it upon myself to take it.”

“I respect that you know your breaking point.” Liam says, honestly. “I think this break will do the two of you good. It’s not a bad thing to admit that you’ve reached your breaking point Louis. I think that you forget that you’re human, sometimes.”

"I know, deep down, that this break is a good thing Liam, but I feel guilty."

"Why's that?"

Louis sighs, “I can always escape from the situation, like I'm doing right now. Harry can’t. Liam, I can leave anytime I want. I can decide that it’s too much for me to handle, and not saying that I would, but I could leave him and never look back. He can never leave the situation. It really bothers me sometimes, you know? I can only do so much for him.”

Liam doesn’t know what to say at first. He looks at Louis, nods slowly, and finally exhales a reply, “You love him. That’s all he’ll ever need Louis. Your love is the best thing he’s ever had in his life. I’m sure he looks at this in an entirely different way than you do. Maybe he’s not as miserable as you think he is. Have you ever bothered asking him?”

“I - well, he, “ Louis sighs, rubbing his temples. “No, I guess I’ve never asked him.”

“You mean to tell me you’ve been with him for over five years and you’ve never once asked him how feels about the situation? Well it looks like your problem is the lack of communication.”

Louis hates it when Liam’s right.

“Here we go,” Sophia sets down two plates in front of them. She grabs her own plate and sits across from Louis and Liam. “I’m excited for tonight. We haven’t been able to go clubbing in so long.”

“Once we’re on break this is going to be a weekly occurrence.” Louis pitches. He uses the knife and fork to cut his omelette. He tries a small piece first and, not to surprise, it tastes professionally made. “This is great.”

Liam glances up at Sophia and winks at her, “I send my compliments to the chef.”

"I heard the chef was wondering if she could get a little something in return?"

"Oh yeah? What exactly would that be?"

Sophia bites down on her lower lip, "She said she wants to discuss it with you in the bedroom."

"Ah, I see," Liam smirks, using his pointer finger to trace his lips, "As soon as I'm done with breakfast I'll meet her in there."

Louis smiles at the two of them. The three of them finish their breakfast, which leaves them parting separate ways, Sophia and Liam head up to their bedroom, which leaves Louis shouting out the most parental phrase he can think of, "Use protection!"

Louis stays behind in the kitchen, opting to clean all the dishes. He collects all three plates and all six pieces of silverware and takes them over to the sink. He has nothing better to do and he is the guest, his mum instilled manners into him and his siblings and she taught them how to be polite. She always told them him that when he’s the guest in someone else’s home he should do at least one favor for them.

He turns the hot water on and pours dish soap all over the dirty plates and utensils. He manages to get them clean and set aside in under three minutes, a personal best for him. "Now what?" he asks himself.

A glance around the kitchen sends his eyes focusing on his phone, he left it sitting on the counter. He goes to his phone and picks it up, deciding instantly that he'll give Harry a ring. He wants to hear his voice.

All it takes is a passcode entry and a quick scroll through his call history to locate Harry's contact.

He clicks Harry's name and holds his phone to his ear. Three rings pass before Harry picks up and his rough voice echoes through the phone, "Hello?"

"Hello love. How are you?"

He can almost hear Harry's smile on the other line, "Fantastic now that I'm talking to you. How are you? Are you having a good time?" Harry's made a 95% recovery with his speaking, as his therapist puts it. She says that the only issues with speaking he'll have to work on happen when he's overwhelmed or upset. It's challenging for him to speak coherently when he's emotional, which is understandable. Other than that, there's the very rare word that he slips on.

"I'm having a splendid time. It's gorgeous here. I miss you dearly. How's Gemma been?"

Harry laughs, "She's been annoying, bossy, worrisome, you know - the usual."

Louis swears he hears a shout on Harry's end, something along the lines of, "I resent that!"

"I would be worried if she was any less than that. Tell her I said hi when you get off the phone. What have you been up to?"

"Nothing, really, though I have been reviewing the plans for the organization, editing them, making a few phone calls." Harry says.

"How's that coming along?"

"I wasn't aware of how much work needs to be put into a non-profit organization. It's been alright. I've been in contact with Mr. Sheldon, he's reviewing the paperwork currently, I'm waiting for him to get back into contact with me."

"He's the best lawyer we could have asked for," Louis points out. Harry makes a noise of agreement. "Have you told the boys about any of this yet?"

"No," Louis sighs and Harry quickly adds on, "But I plan on it. As soon as I have everything settled. I just don't want to tell them about it and have it crash and burn. It'd be embarrassing."

"I understand where you're coming from, Harry, but don't keep it in the works for too long. They'll be disappointed."

"Yeah I know," Harry mutters. He changes the focal point of their conversation, "So, what are you doing right now?"

"Well I think Sophia and Liam are enjoying each other's company a tad too much right now, so I'm left alone, fortunately. I think I might watch some TV. Do you reckon I could catch some X-Factor reruns?"

"I'm sure you might be able to later on. I think it's a bit too early in the morning for reruns. Gemma has Skins on, you could watch that."

"What series?"

"I think...it's series 2, but I don't know, let me check," Harry replies after a few moments of silence, "Yeah, series 2."

"I didn't like series 2 as well as the others. What episode is it?"

"It's the one where Michelle and Sid finally admit they're together."

"You'll have to be more specific."

"They're in a nightclub. Uh - Tony's just taken ecstasy. He's thrown up in the toilets."

"Is that the episode where he meets that one girl with the tattoo? Has sex with her in the dormitory and all that?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Nice. That's one of the better episodes of the series."

"Well that's because it's thought-provoking. No one knows whether the girl he met was real or not. It's a mystery. Was it all in his head?"

"I'd say so."

"But how did he have sex with her?"

"Maybe he had a really nice masturbation session. Imagined a girl and jacked off to the thought of having sex with her. Anyway you choose to look at it, Harry, it's his subconscious speaking to him. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. His entire life was screwed up. He needed hope, so his brain created a girl to help him seek hope."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I mean, we all need something or someone to give us hope, for some people it's religion or music or a another person or whatever, but since Tony didn't have any of that then he needed to create a symbol for himself, do you understand?"

"I think so," There's absolute silence of Harry's end. "You're my source of hope. You're the thing that helps me get through everyday of my life."

Louis smiles to himself, "And you're mine baby."

"I'm glad you're not my subconscious. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," Harry whispers. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too," Louis bites down on his lower lip, glancing up at the ceiling with slightly blurry vision, Harry's so genuine. "You're amazing Haz."

He can hear Harry sniffling on the other line. Louis isn't sure what he said that has Harry so emotional, but he's okay with it, they're good emotions.

“Why do all of our conversations take a turn in this direction?”

“I don’t know,” Harry hums. “What are you doing later on? Do you think we can, maybe, Skype?”

“I was going to go out with Liam and Sophia for a few drinks, but I'll Skype you before then, if you want.”

Harry humorlessly laughs, “So you’re going clubbing tonight?”

“No, no, I’m just,” Louis sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can’t lie to Harry. “Okay, yeah, we’re going to go clubbing.”

Harry’s reply comes through, unimpressed, “Oh.”

“Harry. It’s not how you think it is.”

“No, Louis, it’s fine.” Harry says, calmly. He hates when Louis goes out drinking and partying, although not because he doesn’t trust him or because he doesn’t want him to have a good time. It’s only because Louis seems to go a bit overboard. He smokes and drinks a lot on those nights and Harry already can’t stand when Louis smokes. The smell turns him off.

And a second thing, he can’t stand seeing pictures of Louis with drunk girls. He knows Louis is gay and he shouldn’t worry about it, but he can’t help but feel jealousy. The way they touch him and look at him bothers Harry. It only brings the tabloids marking Louis as a scummy party animal back to his mind.

He knows that he shouldn’t be as bitter as he is about it. After all, he doesn’t have to deal with a drunk Louis, but knowing Louis is going to go out and participate in the antics Harry can’t stand, much less can’t do, irks him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I hope you have an amazing time.” Harry’s voice holds no emotion.

“If you don’t feel comfortable -”

“No, Louis. I really want you to have a good time. I know clubbing makes you happy. You don’t need my permission, I hope you have a good time.”

“Alright. Do you still want to Skype?”

“No, that’s alright. If you’re busy, I understand.”

“I won’t be busy until later, sweetheart.”

“Okay.”

Louis sighs at Harry, “Okay.” There’s an awkward silence. Louis can feel his face flushing and Harry isn’t even there. "Babe, I'm going to get off the phone. I know I'll talk to you before then, but I'll see you on Friday."

"We're still meeting at the O2 right?"

"Yeah, before the show. Liam and I are driving in on Friday. Please, have Gemma drive you or call someone from our team and ask them to pick you up, they won't mind. I don't want you getting into a car wreck."

"I don't even have my license back."

"I know, but I also know you and I know that you're extremely stubborn. You've driven with it suspended before, I swear Harry, do not drive yourself, do you understand?" He's serious, there isn't an ounce of him that's kidding, he's had car accidents happen before and he won't have it happen again.

Harry isn't going to ever get his license back, but Louis hasn't dared to tell him, yet. The road is too hazardous, for one, and second of all Louis is almost positive the flashing of tail lights, headlights, street lights, and stop lights are what trigger some of his seizures. He's been known to have smaller fits during car rides and on the tour bus because of road lights.

"Yes, I understand, mum. Now, I'll talk to you later. I love you. Goodbye."

"Okay, darling. I love you too." Louis hangs up and sets his phone back down. He doesn't hear any noises coming from the bedroom anymore, which he's thankful for. There wasn't an abundance of them, but the ones he did faintly hear made his skin tingle with disgust.

"Are you two done yet?" He rolls his eyes when there's no reply. Instead of calling out to the two of them again, he takes it upon himself to check out the scene.

Once he arrives outside of their bedroom door, he raps his knuckles against the door, "Are you done?"

Liam shouts from the other side of the door, "Done what?"

"Having sex with your girlfriend."

"Oh...uh, yeah, I'm fully satisfied, are you?" Liam mumbles.

Sophia hums, "Mhm."

"Yeah, we're done. We'll be out in a few minutes, we've got to clean up."

Louis face scrunches up in disgust and he steps away from the door, "...Okay."

As he walks back downstairs, into their living room, he thinks about how refreshing it was to have the clearance from Dr. Richards to have "gentle" sex. Of course, he did only what she approved. Harry had been hesitant when they reached the stage of undressing on the bed. He hadn't realized their make out session was going to reach a climax as quickly as it did.

"I'm going to be as gentle as I can be. If you start to feel sick or dizzy, you've got to let me know. I don't want to hurt you." Louis had told him. Harry met his eyes and stared at him nervously until Louis had put his thumb to where the scar lay. He had rubbed the pad of thumb over the healing skin. "I'm going to take good care of you, do you trust me?"

"I trust you." Harry whispered.

Surprisingly, the sex hadn't been half bad. Louis has always liked rough sex, which Harry has made very clear he enjoys too, but soft sex wasn't the worst thing. He kept an eye on Harry the entire time, slowing down when Harry would shut his eyes or make the slightest movement that Louis wasn't comfortable with.

Louis always tops, not because Harry isn't man enough or isn't good at it. It's just if Harry has a seizure during sex, which he's unfortunately had before, he'd rather Harry be beneath him than on top of him. Harry hadn't been hurt by Louis saying he'd rather top, he understood, which made things less stressful on both of them.

Liam comes into the living room, shirtless, rubbing the back of his neck, "Hey, mate, sorry about that."

"Don't be, I get it completely, you love her, Liam, have all the sex you want. Where is the poor girl?"

"Poor?"

"I can only imagine what you're like in bed," Louis sighs, over dramatically. "I hope she's alright."

"Ha, you're a riot Tomlinson," Liam sarcastically huffs. "Anyway, the thrilled girl is taking a shower."

"You should go in for round two."

Liam scoffs, "We're not like you and Harry. It's not a contest to see how many times we can do it in an hour. She has morals."

"Want to know how many times Harry and I can do it in an hour?"

"No."

"Five."

"I don't - Five? You can not do it five times in one hour. That's impossible."

"Maybe we both recharge quickly."

"Maybe you're full of shit."

Louis shrugs, "I guess you'll never know."

"What about foreplay?"

"You don't always need to have foreplay. Especially, if you keep going at it."

"Jesus Christ." Liam runs his hand through his unkempt hair.

"Want to know a secret?"

"No, I'm done with this conversation."

"Oh, come on Liam."

"Nope."

"Your loss."

"The less I know about your sex life, the better." Liam replies.

"Suit yourself."

Liam takes a seat in one of the recliners. "Is there anything else you want to do? Maybe we can dedicate today to heading into town and checking shops out. Then we can go to a club after."

"We can do that."

"Brilliant. I'm sure Sophia will be pleased with this new option."

By the time everyone is dressed and ready, it's nearly noon. They arrive into town at about twelve thirty. Since Liam chose a mansion as far away from civilization as he could find, they have to drive at least half an hour out to get anywhere.

"Are we going to get mobbed?" Louis asks as soon as Liam and Sophia are out of the car.

"We should be okay. Soph and I come into town often enough."

“Okay, but if we get mobbed I’m ditching you. I do not feel like having my balls fondled today.”

Sophia expression shifts from one of humor to one of mortification. “Oh my god.” She whispers.

Liam raises his eyebrows at Louis and only sighs when he’s completely ignored.

“What’s the best shop in town?” Louis asks. He takes it upon himself to lead the way. Sophia and Liam exchange a look, but ultimately decide to follow him. Louis seems to always get what he wants.

“Well Wulfrun Shopping Center is a few blocks from here. They have plenty of shops there. Zoe and I have been in there a lot. It's nice." Sophia says.

"Does that sound alright?" Liam nudges Louis with his elbow.

"I don’t care what we do. As long as we stay out of that damn house for the rest of the day. It’s nice to have a bit of fresh air, isn’t it? We’ve been holed up for three days.”

“We’ve gone out for dinner.”

“You know what I mean,” He sighs. “I want to see Wolverhampton. So far, I like it very much, but staying locked up in a house isn’t very much of an adventure.”

Liam shrugs, “I guess.”

“Oh! There’s the sign for the shopping center. We’ll be there in three minutes tops.” Sophia says, smiling wide. She clutches the handles of her purse tighter. Honestly, both her and Liam are big spenders, Sophia more on clothes and makeup and Liam more on useless superhero merchandise.

Their house shows that Liam is a huge Marvel and DC fan with scatterings of comic books and posters everywhere. Louis wonders if he’s ever pulled out his Batman costume for intercourse with Sophia.

“It’s quite big isn’t it? We don’t have a big one like this in Donny. What stores are there?”

Sophia lists off, “There’s Cex, Warren James, Tyler’s, Peacocks.”

“Warren James? The jewelry store?”

“Is there another store called Warren James?” Liam asks.

“No, but I was making sure I heard her right, smart ass.”

They walk to the front entrance of the shopping center. Liam holds the door open for both Sophia and Louis and subsequently follows suit.

“I see this is where everyone comes on Monday afternoons. Doesn’t anyone work in this town?” Louis comments, baffled at the amount of people stuffed into the shopping center.

“One of the stores is most likely having a sale.”

“It’s like they knew we were coming…” Louis sneers. “They didn’t know, did they?”

Liam rolls his eyes, “Not as far as I know.”

“Soooo,” Sophia draws their attention away from the mass of people and to herself. “Where to?”

“I want to go to Warren James.”

“Why’s that Tommo? Are you going to buy your fiance a present?”

Louis shrugs, “I might. Four months of recovery deserves something more than celebratory sex, don’t you think?”

“What is it with you and sex all of a sudden?”

“I can finally have it with my significant other. Surely, you understand the feeling.”

“Oh, I understand. Now let’s go.”

Sophia blushes, “Follow me.”

The three of them walk close together, as to not get separated. There are a few fans that recognize them and request pictures and autographs. They agree, but only if the fans wait a few hours before posting their location online. The fans oblige.

Sophia leads them into the jewelry store and Louis is surprised he’s not blinded by the sparkling of the crystals as they lie in the display cases. He hasn’t been in a store like this since he bought Harry an engagement ring.

He glances down at his own engagement ring that Harry bought for him nearly two years ago. He hadn’t been permitted to wear it until their coming out had been officially announced. He slides the ring up and down his finger, smiling to himself.

“Hello!” A boisterous woman greets the three of them. She appears wealthy from her clothing to her nail job. “Is there something I can help you with? Are you buying the missus something today?” She immediately focuses all of her attention on Liam and Sophia.

Louis clears his throat, “Actually, I was looking for some assistance.”

“Oh! This is your missus then. My apologies,” She leans closer to him, whispering. “Watch out for the Beckham look alike. He looks like he wants to snatch her up and run.” A loud, fake laugh leaves her mouth. Louis looks entirely displeased.

“She’s not my missus. My male fiancé isn’t here with me at the moment. I’m looking to possibly purchase something for him.”

Liam stands behind Sophia and wraps his arms around her slender torso, pulling her closer to his chest.

“I am so sorry.” The woman apologizes. “Let me start over. My name is Anna. How can I assist you today?”

“I want to look at any men’s cross necklaces you have. My fiancé broke his other one a few months ago.”

“Oh dear. How did that happen?”

I had to rip it off of him when he had a seizure so he wouldn’t strangle himself. “Oh, you know, it was old and rusty. The chain snapped in half. He misplaced the pendant.” He explains. His facial expression remains stoic, lips pursed, and chin held high.

“Ah, poor thing, is he really religious?”

Poor thing? You don’t even know. “Quite.”

“That’s even worse,” Anna says. “Come right this way. We have a few in stock.” She’s stood behind the counter, but walks in the area she wants Louis to look, brushing past her associates with mumbled apologies. “Here we are. Personally, this is a favorite of mine.” She points at a silver cross encased in a black outline.

“My boy is a rather simple man.” Louis says. “His old cross was a crucifix.”

“Okay, not a problem, what are you looking to spend?”

“Price isn’t an issue.”

“Alright, hm...what about this one? It’s a crucifix. It’s stainless steel.”

“May I see it out of the display?”

“Of course,” Anna opens the display and withdraws the crucifix pendant and chain. She holds it in her hand as she showcases it to Louis.

“Harry would like that. It looks a lot like his old one.” Liam points out. His chin rests in the crook of Sophia’s neck, the stubble of his growing beard scratches at her cheek.

Louis nods, “I think so too. If I were to buy that necklace right now, would I own it today?”

“Yes. The one I’m showing you is all yours. I can polish it up and box it up for you, if you’d like.”

“Please?”

Anna nods, “Sure. I’ll meet you up front.” She walks away, still bearing the cross, and disappears into the back.

”That was easy.” Liam comments.

“You know, the two of you can look around. I didn’t mean for you to stay by my side.”

Sophia smiles at Liam.

“Oh boy. What did you see?” He asks, exasperated.

She pulls away from him and leads him by his hand to another area of the jewelry store, leaving Louis standing by himself, for the second time today. He decides he might as well walk up front, where there’s a short line of customers.

By the time he’s at the front of the line, Anna’s come back with the necklace. He purchases it, tells her thank you, and wanders around until he spots Liam and Sophia.

Sophia has a ring on her finger. She’s holding her hand in front of her face. “Don’t tell me you’re getting engaged. That’d make four of us.”

Liam laughs, eyes crinkling in the corners, as he turns to face Louis, “I meant to tell you. I did.”

Louis’s mouth drops wide open, “No way. How long was I gone? I was only in line for ten minutes and now you’re engaged?”

“Louis. Hush.” Sophia slaps his chest.

“When we were in New York for tour, I couldn’t help myself, it was a spur of the moment thing,” Liam smiles. “I haven’t had a chance to get her a ring until now.”

Sophia stares at the gold band on her finger. There’s a huge diamond in the center. “Liam, I don’t know, this ring is over one thousand pounds.”

“Come on princess. If it’s the ring you want, then let me buy it for you.”

Sophia becomes hesitant, “I mean, I like it a lot, but -”

“That settles it! We’ll take this one.” He tells the salesperson working with them.

“Now Niall’s the only bachelor. How disappointing.”

“You didn’t hear about Zayn and Perrie?” Liam asks. Louis shakes his head. “He broke off the engagement. I don’t think he was ready for the commitment.”

Louis begins to angrily rant, “He’s a fucking idiot. What’s wrong with him? Perrie has been so good to him. She’s helped him through so much and he won’t find another girl like her. He’s such a shithead sometimes, god.”

Sophia sighs, “That’s what I said, babe.”

Liam buys the ring for Sophia and she wears it right out of the store. They spend the rest of the day walking in stores and looking around. Though none of them made any purchases, they agree that it was a lot of fun.

When they get back to the house to change into their specialized nightclub outfits, Louis speaks his mind and admits he doesn’t feel like clubbing. Harry’s attitude towards the situation makes him hesitant. His explanation to the two of them  is that it’s a waste of time without Harry beside him and also it only reminds of the narrative that management had tried to set for him: party boy Louis. He had met Calvin, Oli, Briana, and countless others during that short-lived time period.

“You’re going to be Briana’s baby’s father! How exciting! Congratulations!” One Direction’s head of PR had told him.

He arched an eyebrow at her and let out a loud laugh. He covered his mouth to hold the rest of his laughing back, “Pardon? What did you say?”

“Briana is pregnant. You’re the father.”

“There’s two problems with your theory. I’m gay and I didn’t have sex with her. If you’re looking for the father than you may want to talk to Oli.” He started to stand up from the conference table.

“The tabloids don’t know that.” The cold-hearted woman, Katie, said.

“I thought we were done with all this bullshit after Eleanor and I ‘broke up’,” Louis sat back down. “And anyways, the tabloids and the fans know something's up.”

“Do they?”

“Check Twitter or Tumblr sometime.”

Katie scoffed, “That’s why you’re expecting a child.”

“But I’m not.”

“Briana seems to think otherwise.”

Louis laughed in disbelief, “I’ve never even laid a hand on her. Are you seriously trying to manipulate this situation, right now? I have a lot going on in my life at the moment. And a second thing, I know who’ve I had sex with. Harry. I’ve had sex with Harry, that’s all.”

“Not according to your recent antics.”

“I cannot believe you’re trying to throw me back into the closet. I have more important things to worry about right now.”

“Like what?”

“Harry might need brain surgery. His epilepsy is at a really bad stage right now. He needs me, not a portion of me. I’m not a father. If you want to involve me in sleazy PR than at least give me a believable story. The fans are never going to buy a baby scandal. Nice try. I think Niall being part dog would be more realistic at this point than a baby.”

“You can’t deny this.”

“Can’t I? I don’t need this. Right now, my sick fiancé needs me. I’ve left him in the care of our dog and I’m here with you. I should really get my priorities straight. Goodbye.”

Calvin and Oli had been two of the worst people he ever met. Harry had met them and instantly taken a disliking in them, which really meant something considering Harry always tries to find the good in people. Louis truly hadn’t minded them until they had smarted comments off about Harry.

He let the first comments go. When they had first met Harry, they met him when Louis brought him along to dinner, and they had said, “He doesn’t look sick.” That comment was understandable, Louis supposed. He had heard that often. Epilepsy wasn't always evident.

He hadn't understood at first when Harry told him either, it was fair that others didn’t understand at first glance.

Once the comments had turn downright cruel was when Louis had a hard time biting his tongue.

"I've had pains worse than anything he’s ever had, I guarantee it. Why is he being such a big fucking baby?" Oil had said when Louis told them he needed to take a phone call from Niall. He explained that he asked Niall to stay with Harry, who had been in a lot of pain right before Louis was forced to leave their hotel, and the call may be important. Perhaps, he should have kept the details to himself. He could’ve said he had a phone call to take and spared himself their crude comments.

The one that had really set him off was, "At least it's not cancer." Easy to be said, Louis took offense to that comment, possibly more offense than Harry would had,  and that particular day was the last he spent with Calvin and Oli.

"Okay. What do you want to do then?" Liam asks.

"If you really want to go clubbing then go ahead. I can stay here. I might Skype Harry or call him or something."

Sophia looks towards Liam and shrugs, "It's up to you.”

"We'll go then." Liam announces. "I'll see you later?"

"Of course."

"Bye Louis." Sophia smiles.

Liam is one lucky boy. She’s gorgeous.

"Bye. Be careful."

Clubbing is ultimately the heightened fun of the week break for them. They come back in one piece, Liam a little less drunk than the last time they went out, fortunately, Sophia is completely sober and a little more than annoyed with Liam.

The next few days leading to Friday are filled with relaxation. Songwriting, watching movies, and laying around are all activities taken place. Louis doesn't remember the last time he didn't have to do anything and he could lay around. He told Liam that they didn’t have to be doing something fun every second. The downtime is his favorite part.

But, Friday finally comes. Louis has to be packed before noon, which he successfully is, thanks to his mad fast skills when he procrastinates for too long.

Liam spends at least fifteen minutes telling Sophia goodbye and that he'll see her when she flies out to Dublin. He doesn't blame Liam.

He's been known to give lengthy goodbyes to Harry as well.

He hikes his duffle further up his shoulder as he listens to the sweet words passed between the newly engaged couple. It only reminds him that he'll see Harry in a matter of hours.

"Bye Soph. I love you." Liam kisses her one last time.

"I love you too. Remember to call," She looks up at Louis. "This last week has been so much fun. If you ever want to come back for another stay, please do. Be careful boys."

"We will be," Louis promises and he snatches the keys from Liam's hand. "That's why I'm driving!"

"Oh no. No, no. You are not driving my car."

"Tell that to your keys. Don't worry, you can have shotgun."

Liam groans, rubbing his forehead. He doesn't argue, knowing he'll lose against Louis' wrath, and he follows him out to the car. They climb in and begin their journey.

By the time they arrive in London, after a two hour drive, Liam looks like he's going to be ill, again.

"You drive like a maniac. I'm never letting you drive again." He slowly steps out of the car all while Louis smirks to himself.

Louis gets out, rounds the front of the vehicle, and both of them head inside the O2, "I made a two and a half hour drive a two hour drive you're welcome."

"You also made me throw up my breakfast."

Louis shrugs, "Maybe you caught something. I'm not that bad of a driver."

"You ran through two red lights and a stop sign."

"I mean, if you want to be specific. I got us here in one piece though, didn't I?" Louis asks.

Liam shakes his head, "You're reckless."

"Yeah, yeah, like I've never heard that before," Louis hushes him with a wave of his hand. "What room are we looking for?"

"Niall texted me and said it was in the West wing. It'll have our logo on the door."

Louis points to a door up ahead, "This one."

"Nice."

They reach the door and Louis jerks it open, allowing Liam to head in first, he follows behind. As soon as he steps into the room, to his dismay, he sees Zayn and Niall, but no Harry. He forces a smile and hugs both of them, "Hey lads."

Liam happens to ask the question he was wondering, "Where's Harry?"

"He wasn't feeling very well. He said he was nauseous, so he went to the bathroom." Zayn replies.

Louis frowns, he doesn't like the sound of that, "Where's the bathroom at? I'll go check on him."

"It's a few doors down."

"Got it. Thanks." Louis steps out of the room again and he walks down the hallway. He realizes that he's gone the wrong way and he turns around, walking down the other end of the hallway until he sees the men's bathroom.

It's a single bathroom, he can tell by the handle on the door.

He knocks on the door, "Harry?"

"Hm?"

"Harry. It's Louis. Are you alright?"

There's a bit of commotion behind the door. The flush of the toilet, the sink turning off, and finally the door being unlocked. Louis waits patiently.

Harry opens the door and he smiles softly, "Hiii."

"Hi," Louis whispers. "Are you alright? I heard you felt ill."

"I think so. I think I forgot to eat breakfast with my pills. I was in a rush this morning."

"You didn't throw up then?"

"No. I was close, but I didn't." Harry reassures.

"That means I can do this," Taking a step closer to Harry, he kisses him, his chest presses to Harry's chest. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Harry steadily pulls away, but presses his forehead to Louis'. "I'm

glad you're back. I don't think I would have made it another day without you."

"I was going insane without you. I'm sure Liam's telling everyone how much I spoke of you. If I talk about you enough it's like I can feel your presence."

Harry shivers against Louis, "Is that - what do you have in your pocket?" He murmurs. "You're that excited to see me?"

"Oh!" Louis exclaims and he shifts away from Harry. Harry watches on in confusion. "I almost forgot. I do have something for you." He fishes in his pocket for a long black box. He withdraws it and hands it over to Harry.

"What is this?"

"Open it and see." Louis gestures for him to continue.

"Um, okay," Harry pulls the top of the box off and he nearly drops the entire gift on the floor. "You bought me a new cross? Lou, you didn't have to."

"But I wanted to. I busted your other one."

"That wasn't your fault. You knew I wasn't angry with you over it," Harry argues. He runs his finger over the pendant. "Thank you so much."

"Let me see it." Harry hands the box back over without a moment's hesitation. "Turn around." Harry obliges, not even bothering to question what Louis's doing. "This necklace has a clasp. I won't have to rip it off if something happens."

"When something happens." Harry mutters. Louis ignores that comment to the best of his ability. He stands on his tiptoes and he lays the pendant on Harry's chest, before bringing both ends of the chain around and clasping them together. "Alright, now let me see it, yeah?"

Harry faces Louis. "It looks nice," Louis says. He reaches forward and straightens the pendant out. "Let me take a picture."

"No."

"Oh come on. You look gorgeous. One picture, please?"

Harry glances at him, "I'll get my hat from the -"

"Harry." Louis whispers. "Please." He traces the outline of Harry's scar with his pointer finger. His hair is a bit longer, not as clean shaven, but the scar stands out, which it will always, to some extent. "You look so beautiful right now. Let me snap a picture."

Harry eyes him up and down, eyelids fluttering, "Okay."

"Perfect," Louis pulls his phone from his back pocket and he angles it so Harry fits in the frame. "Give me a smile, yeah?"

Harry's smile looks more like a grimace but Louis will take it. Louis double checks to make sure the flash is off before snapping the photo and he smiles at the result. "Look at how cute you are. The people of Instagram are going to love it."

"You're not -"

"What filter should I use?" Louis interrupts, clicking different Instagram filters. "Oh, the black and white is darling, isn't it? I like that." He captions the picture, Babes before the show xx, and finally he posts it.

"I can't believe you -" Harry cuts himself off with a choked gasp.

Louis furrows his eyebrows, "Harry? What's wrong?"

Harry shakes his head, clearing his throat, "Nothing. I'm fine. I'm fine. Let's go see the boys." He starts walking back and Louis still stands in place, utter confusion crossing his expression as he watches Harry.

"Harry?"

Harry looks over his shoulder, "Yeah?"

"Never mind." Louis catches up with him and the two of the head back to the green room. But before he opens the door, he turns back to Harry, reaching for his shoulder. He squeezes gently. “I want you to tell the boys about the organization.”

“I will.”

“No, I want you to do it today, before the show.”

“Louis.”

“I’m serious Harry. If you don’t do it, I will.” Louis releases Harry’s shoulder and he opens the door. He guides Harry inside and shuts the door behind them.

“There they are. How are you feeling H?” Zayn asks.

“Better. I think I just need to eat something. I didn’t eat with my medication.”

Niall bounces up, “What do you want? I’ll go get it for you.”

“No it’s -”

“I’ll have Sarah whip you something up. What are you in the mood for?”

Harry gawks at him in disbelief, “Erm...just something light, some fruits, I guess.” Niall disappears from the room. Harry feels guilty. “He didn’t have to do that…”

“He wanted to Harry. Let him do you a favor. Relax. Take a seat.” Louis places his hand on the small of Harry’s back and he leads him to the couch.

“You guys are always doing me favors. I don’t deserve them.”

“We don’t always do you favors.” Liam replies. “We do you favors when we feel like you need them.”

Harry sinks back against the couch and huffs, “I don’t need any favors. I’m not a charity case.”

“Everyone needs a bit of help now and again,” Zayn shrugs. “We only want to help you. You’ve helped all of us in the past.”

“Really? How?”

Zayn points out, “You’re great at giving advice. I would have never been able to loosen up on stage if it weren’t for you.”

“That’s nothing.”

“You’re always offering yourself up. You take most of the heat around here. You’re genuinely a good person, Harry.” Liam says.

Harry sighs, “I don’t think that’s comparable to having friends help me through an epileptic fit.”

“Sure it is,” Louis finally speaks. “You’re looking at it from a whole other point of view, love, is all. Yes, I agree, helping someone having a seizure is a bit more serious than giving advice or taking a brutal scolding, but they’re all the same thing. Symbols of affection.”

“I wish that the favors you boys did for me weren’t as major. Like, it would be amazing to have a bit of normalcy.”

“You can’t pick and choose certain scenarios, H.” Liam smiles weakly at him. “Please, always keep in mind that Niall, Zayn, and I, we don’t mind helping you. We choose to help.”

Zayn nods, “That’s right. Don’t ever believe anything different.”

Harry glances towards Louis and Louis gives him a smile, placing his hand on Harry’s thigh in encouragement.

Niall comes back minutes later with a bowl of cubed fruit, unaware of the conversation that’s taken place moments ago. He hands the bowl off to Harry. “Thank you.”

Louis smiles, “That Sarah sure does work fast, doesn’t she?”

Harry pops a cubed watermelon in his mouth. “She does.”

An comfortable silence fills the room. All of the boys end up playing games and checking social media on their phones. Finally, Louis can’t help himself and he speaks, "There's something important Harry has to tell you." Louis says, prodding his fiancé's arm, and gesturing for him to tell their three band mates of the news. Everyone sets their phone down and sits up expectantly, keeping a close eye on Harry.

Harry gazes at Louis in confusion. Louis mouths, “The organization.”

"Uh, well..." Harry looks towards the boys. He’s slightly annoyed with Louis. "I guess I should just say it, so yeah, I'm starting a nonprofit organization."

Niall arches an eyebrow. "You're starting an organization?" He asks, as though he hasn't heard Harry correctly.

"Erm...yes?" He isn’t sure whether the boys are happy for him or not, he can’t gauge their emotions.

"Congratulations," Niall smiles widely. He moves closer to Harry, bends down, and engulfs him in the biggest Horan hug imaginable. “I’m excited for you.”

Liam and Zayn both pitch in congratulations as well. They wait until Niall is done with his very thorough embrace before they both stand up and hug him.

Once everyone’s sat down again, Liam asks, "What's the organization for?"

Harry smiles, weakly, "It’s for epileptic youths."

"Seriously?" Zayn appears shocked. "That's incredible. I think this is a great thing you’re doing. There aren’t many epilepsy charities are there?”

“Not very many, no, especially not for what I want to achieve.”

Niall wonders aloud, “Where did you get the idea from?”

“My experiences. While I was recovering it came to mind. I spoke with Louis about the idea and he was very supportive. He’s been a lot of help.”

Louis smiles to himself. “It’s been all you, babe. I haven’t made not one single phone call.”

“You don’t have to be directly involved. Your support is everything.”

Liam speaks up, "If I may, how does someone go about forming an organization?"

"It's all down to business." Harry replies. "It's the same as if I were going to start a company or corporation, I guess."

"And since I have experience with business, I’ve been able to guide him in the right direction." Louis adds in, wrapping his arm around Harry. He tugs Harry closer and Harry snuggles into his side.

"Oh right. Since you've started 78 Productions." Niall points out, finally understanding.

Louis has 78 Productions, his recording company, for when One Direction comes to an end. Though, when they go on their year break he plans on putting more time into finding acts and finding a space to transform into his studio. Harry plans on dedicating his time to his organization during the year break. They'll both be plenty busy.

"It mainly has to do with finances as well," Louis explains. "You owe the government for certain expenses. You have to pay to have an official title. You have to pay for office space, workers, so on, so forth."

"It's never been nicer to have money." Harry smirks. "All that money in the bank has never been more useful."  

Louis kisses the top of his head, "I couldn't be prouder of you."

"So, do you have any names for the organization in mind?"

"Erm...yeah, I think I do, but I don't know if it's any good."

Louis glances down at Harry, since Harry is squished against him, "I didn't know you had any ideas. Go on. What is it? I’m intrigued."

"Project Evolve?" Harry says, though his voice rises in a question, as though he's second guessing himself.

"Project Evolve? What's the basis?" Zayn asks, curiously.

"Well evolve means to change, right? And I plan on changing the way epilepsy is dealt with. I chose the word evolve because it starts with e, like epilepsy. It sounds sort of dumb, doesn’t it?"

“Not at all. Project Evolve. It has a nice sound to it, rolls right off the tongue.” Liam says.

"That's a brilliant idea babes," Louis compliments. "You’ll have to call Mr. Sheldon when we get home so he can look into any organizations or corporations with the same name, hopefully there won't be any. We don't want to get sued."

Niall smiles, "Your ideas honestly sound great. Are there any specific goals you're aiming for? I'm quite interested."

"Rather than dealing primarily with medication and research. I'd like to focus on support groups, safe online group forums, and a secure call line. I'd like to educate. I want to give kids and teenagers the...advancements I never had. I would have loved to have a support group, you know? Instead of walking around, feeling like a freak all the time, it would have been nice to have met other people like me. I wouldn't have felt so alone, I think. I would've have realized my potential on my own. Maybe I'd be more confident."

"You're not a freak." Louis snaps, defensively. His eyebrows are furrowed inwards as he glowers at Harry. “Don’t say that about yourself, please. You know I hate when you get down on yourself.”

Harry sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Louis, come on now. It’s somewhat true, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve never been normal. It’s not normal to fall out on the floor and convulse until I’ve peed myself. I’m a freak. I’m weird. I’m an outcast, whatever you want to call it, I’m not normal babe.”

"Harry...You're not a freak. Don't say that, it bothers me, a lot.”

“It bothers me that you’ve all seen me have my bad seizures. I’m embarrassed. I’m allowed to feel a bit of pity for myself, don’t you think? I don’t feel as singled out this way.”

“Of course you do. Wait, you’re still feeling lonely, Harry? I thought we’ve discussed this before. I told you before you can talk to me, you don’t have to feel this way."

Liam, Niall, and Zayn watch in absolute silence, sitting incredibly still, as to not draw attention to themselves.

Liam shuts his eyes, hoping that Harry will say or do something to end this uncomfortable situation. Harry doesn't say anything at first, in fact Harry doesn't say anything at all.

"Harry?" Louis presses.

"Look, Louis," Harry whispers. His voice is lacking confidence. "The truth is yes, sometimes, I do feel very much alone."

"But why love? I've always tried to be there for you. I'm sorry if I haven't been around enough." Louis takes Harry's hand in his.

Harry glances at him and he sees the sadness bundled in Louis' eyes and he hates himself for a moment. He's made Louis upset, hasn't he?

"It's not you, lovely, it has nothing to do with you. I’ve always felt alone to an extent," Harry smiles softly at him. "Growing up, I was bullied for being different, you know how that goes first hand, don’t you? Kids are mean. They called me a spaz and a freak, told me I belonged to the circus, told me that I was a waste of space and that I was defective, a mistake. They didn't understand why my hands would always shake or why sometimes I'd completely blank out. They hated that teachers always had a certain level of respect for me. I was always a main priority for my teachers. The friends that I did start school with, were no longer my friends by the end of my first school year."

Niall bites his lip. This is possibly one of the worst stories he's ever heard. He swallows harshly and draws in a shaky breath. This has got to be horrible for Harry to share and relive.

"Harry." Liam whispers. "You don't have to..."

"I know," Harry answers. "I need to talk about it. I've always tried to ignore how hurt and alone I felt as a child, but I need to get it out. Sometimes I think about my school days and I realize that no one ever gave themselves the chance to know me or understand me."

Louis shakes his head, patting the top of Harry's hand, "They missed out meeting an amazing person then."

Harry nose scrunches up and his eyes begin to water, "Yeah, I guess so, didn't they? I just - none of you boys really understand me either, you know? I mean, yeah, you understand that I'm sick, or whatever, but you don't understand what it's like to be me. You can't say you know what I go through on a daily basis. We're not at all alike. The four of you have so much in common and then...there's me." Harry swallows harshly. "And that's why I feel alone. You guys are always here for me, which I appreciate, but you'll never understand me completely." He feverishly rubs his hand over his face. "It bothers me. I can't sit down with any of you and have an in depth conversation about epilepsy. You would have to nod along and pretend you knew what I was talking about. I'm not like any of you. My life consists of pills and hospitals and seizures...when the rest of you are normal and I hate it! It's not fair! When am I going to get the chance to be fucking normal?!" He shouts. The shout is sudden, causing all four of the boys to flinch, even Louis releases his hand at first, involuntarily shifting away.  

"Harry. It's okay." Zayn has always been soft spoken, for the most part. He leans forward. "It's okay. You don't have to get yourself overwhelmed, alright? It's okay. You're frustrated, I understand, but it's going to be okay."

"It's okay. That's all anyone ever says. It's not okay," Harry laughs humorlessly to himself, "It's not fair. My life never really got a chance to start, no, do you think anyone before the age of four would remember how life feels without epilepsy? No. All I know is having this stupid disease attached to every fucking thing I do. Now, I'm the boybander with epilepsy, everything I do has to do with epilepsy and I am so fucking sick of all of it. I don't want to do it anymore."

"Harry, come on, stop," Louis whispers. "We were just talking about how excited you were for your organization. You're going to meet a lot of people just like you, babe. Your epilepsy is so important for so many people out there. You're a role model. This organization is going to help more people than you know. It'll be a great experience for both you and me."

"Why would it be for you?" Harry asks. He’s starting to calm down, though his breathing is still heavy and his eyes are still wet with threatening tears.

"I want to learn more about epilepsy. All I know is from either you or articles I've read. I've never met anyone else with epilepsy. I want to understand you more. I learn more about you everyday." Louis repositions his hand to cup Harry's chin. "You are never alone, okay? I don't give a single fuck what those kids said to you in school. You're not a freak. You're not defective. You’re not a mistake. You're Harry, that's it, that's all you are. You're only Harry. And Harry is kind and charming. Beautiful. Brilliant. Strong. Brave. See, you're whatever adjectives you want to be." Louis kisses him softly. "I love you and I will love you whether epilepsy will always be a part of our relationship or not."

The timing of that outburst was odd, Louis thinks to himself, maybe he's just fed up, I would be.

“And we’ll always be your best friends, epilepsy or not,” Liam smiles. “You’re an amazing person. Don’t let your past interfere with your powerful future.”

Niall clears his throat, hoping that everyone can forget about Harry's outburst. “Harry, if you need any help with the organization, don't be afraid to let us know. I, for one, would be more than happy to help."

"Right. Thank you for the support." Harry nods, smiling weakly at the three of them.

Moments later, the door to the room is being shoved open and one of the members from their label steps inside. All five of them stand up to greet him, even Louis, despite his look of disgust.

"Sir, what can we do for you?" Liam smiles. The rest of the boys don't speak. Harry takes a side step closer to Louis, taking his hand in his. They never know where these surprise conversations can lead to. They're nerve wracking.

"I have a request, regarding your next album."

Louis can't help himself, "Well what is it?"

"We want the five of you to choose a single by the start of tonight's show. Also, we'd like to know how you want to promote it."

"What's the catch?" Zayn asks.

"There isn't a catch. We need to decide on a single before your fifth album comes out. Any song you'd like to be a single, will be the single. Thank you gentlemen." The older man walks back out.

Niall's the first to speak, "That was really fucking weird."

"This is their way of telling us they're throwing us aside because of the break. They don't give a shit what we do. They don't think they're going to make money from us this year." Louis simply says with a shrug.  

Liam restates, appearing slightly uneasy, "So, the label is demanding we choose a song for the first single before the show. They want us to have a say in promotional aspects as well. What do we do?"

"Why do we have to have it planned so soon though?" Niall asks. He takes a seat beside Liam on the L-Shaped couch. Zayn sits on Liam's other side, Louis to his left, and finally Harry sits on Niall's right.

"Since we're taking a break they would like for us to be prepared beforehand, I suppose."

Louis eyes Liam cautiously, as though there's a hint of distrust, "We get to pick any song we want?" Liam makes a noise of approval. "That's quite a plot twist. Usually, we're only given two options." Louis comments.

"What if we did Lost Souls?" Zayn hums. "It's got a sick rhythm."

"It's awfully slow," Harry argues. "Like, I just...you know Night Changes was our last single. I think we should change it up with a faster song."

Niall nods, "I think Harry's right. What if? Hm." He taps his chin as he thinks it over. "True Lies?"

"That would be a wicked tune. Imagine the music video." Zayn smirks.

Louis shakes his head, "No."

"There was no hesitation there. What, you don't like the song? Julian did an amazing job Louis." Liam presses. There goes the one agreement they almost had in the bag.

"No, no. That song is ace, I agree, but it won't draw in a new demographic. If we're looking to form a more mature fan base than we need to have a mature song. It's simple logic lads." Louis argues.

Niall scoffs, "Our younger fans are great too..."

"They are. I agree. But -"

"Oh boy." Harry mumbles, rubbing his forehead with his fist. Liam sighs, sinking back into the couch.

Everyone thought this would be a simple agreement, but they seemingly forgot that all five of them are opinionated and stubborn, in their own ways of course.

"But," Louis repeats, annoyed, "Our fans that have been here since the early stages, 2010, 2011, have grown up with us. We've all admitted before that Up All Night was directed towards a younger fan base. Each consecutive album has become more developed into the sound we've always wanted. So, I think it makes sense to present the most mature music to our newly grown up fans."

Zayn suggests, forcing himself to stay calm, "Drag Me Down then? I think it would be a stellar single." He wants to be done trying to figure out what steps to take, as a band, prior to the break. It's too stressful.  

The boys all exchange glances before they nod at Zayn's idea for the first single of their new album. Finally, a mutual decision.

Liam smiles, "That's a great song for the single. I think you've done it Zaynie."

"What if we dropped it in the middle of the night?" Harry doesn't mean for the lads to hear his idea, but, of course, they do. He tends to think out loud more often than not.

Liam arches an eyebrow at Harry's idea, "Why would we do that?"

"I'm interested to see how the fans will react." Niall immediately concurs with Harry.

"We'll have to suggest it to the label first."

"Obviously Liam." Louis snidely comments.

"I think...ah," Harry sucks in a deep breath, unable to finish verbalizing his thought. It's similar to the situation in the hallway.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Zayn presses.

"I'm...mmmm - ah." Obviously, the slur of words isn't missed by any of the boys, but the loud groan that leaves Harry's mouth has all of them scrambling to their feet and moving forward. Louis catches Niall's bicep in his hand as soon as the blond moves forward. "He's going to go. I don't know if he's having a grand mal, but don't crowd him, alright, boys?" Zayn and Liam both stare at Harry before they realize that they should allow Louis to solely handle it.

Harry is visibly shaking, "Haz?" Louis sounds panicked. He takes a step closer to Harry, but pauses when he sees Harry's upper body jerk back against the back of the couch. His neck arches and he shuts his eyes tightly. The hitching of his breath makes it easy for Louis to tell that he's trying to keep himself composed even though he's mid-seizure. He isn’t having a grand mal. He’s coherent.

Well, this explains the nausea, the gasping in the hallway, and his sudden outburst earlier. All three things were leading up to this.

Louis takes a seat on the couch beside Harry without another second of hesitance. He makes out the clicking of Harry's tongue against the roof of his mouth. The seizure-induced sound makes Louis's skin prickle with goosebumps. Shivers run up his spine.  "It's okay." He encourages. The right side of Harry's body is the only area being affected by the seizure. Louis realizes that he should have sat himself on Harry's right side, to be of more comfort, but he didn't want to get in the way. "Look at me, Haz. Look at me." Harry opens his eyes, they're wide with discomfort, an uncomfortable look spans across his face, his mouth is pulled in taut line. "You're okay."

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out other than raspy wheezes.

"Easy," Louis whispers. "Give it a minute love."

Harry gasps in reply, arching his back. His hand latches onto Louis' thigh, his nails and fingertips dig into Louis' flesh. Louis fights the urge to shout out in pain. Harry's strong and the fact that he's only partially in control of his body functions makes it ten times worse. Instead of shoving Harry's hand off, he fights off the tears cycling to the surface, it hurts terribly, and he clutches Harry's hand, rubbing his thumb over Harry's pulled knuckles. "Shh. It's fine."

"Louis, is he all right? It's been going on for close to a minute now." Zayn mentions, eyeing his watch.

Louis barely manages to squeak out, "Y-yeah."

"Are you -"

"Fine. I'm fine."

Harry's stomach rolls in waves of nausea as the whole right side of his body continues to spasm as the seizure develops. Louis gently presses his lips to Harry's temple, telling him softly, "You're alright. Hold on for a few more seconds. You've got to calm yourself down. It'll help darling." Slowly removing his touch from Harry's hand, he slips his hand behind Harry and firmly presses his palm to the bottom of his spine. "Do you think you can breathe with me?"

Harry gazes at him out of the corners of his eyes, he can't physically move his head all the way, but Louis can make out Harry nodding his head.

"Okay," Louis sits up, angles his body a bit more to face Harry, "Listen. Listen to my breathing. Ready?" Harry makes a noise, which must mean yes, considering the current context. "Take a nice deep breath. Inhale." Louis dramatizes his breath in to show Harry that it needs to be big. Harry takes a deep breath in, following Louis' steps. "Release it." He does. "There we go. That's my boy. Keep doing that for me, okay?"

And he continues to breath in and out until the seizure visibly starts to come to a halt. Louis can stop withering in pain once Harry's strong grasp on his leg fades. They'll definitely be a bruise marking his leg for a while.

As soon as the jerking leaves Harry's muscles, he slumps against Louis, breathing heavily. Louis kisses the top of his head, "You okay?"

"I - yeah, I think so."

Louis looks up at the boys and gestures for them to sit back down. He knows that seizures come out of the blue sometimes, but he wonders if there was a probable cause for this one, "Love, are you sure you took your medication this morning?"

"Yeah."

Louis nods. He repositions his hand to rest on Harry's arm. Gently, he soothingly rubs up and down. "Let's take it easy until the show, okay?"

Harry doesn't reply. He buries his face against Louis' side. He's shaking, not from an impending seizure, but because he's uncomfortable and scared. "Shh, it's okay," Louis whispers to him, kissing the top of his head. "Do you want to sleep?" He knows how tired Harry can become after seizures. He doesn't want him being hard on himself later because of his lack of sleep.  

"No. I want to figure out the...single." Harry sniffles against Louis and finally, he gets himself together, and sits up straight.

"Harry, we don't have to figure it out -" Liam starts.

"I want to," Harry reassures. "Let's see what happens if we drop it in the middle of the night."

Niall smiles weakly at him, "I bet the fans will surprise us. I've always known we've never needed all that preparation countdown bullshit."

"Let's do it." Louis agrees, gently massaging Harry's scalp with his fingertips.

They inform the label of which song they'd like to use as their single and they discuss the no promotion for the single. Harry brings up that Beyoncé did an album without anyone knowing and it was a huge ordeal to the pop industry, he seems to think they can do a similar surprise with their single.

The label agree to no promotion, though they agree in a way that makes it seem if the single flops then they won’t take fault for it

After their mutual decision with the label and another few hours of relaxing and rehearsing it's time to head out on stage and start the show.

"Are you nervous?" Niall asks, nudging Louis from behind. He's indirecting Louis's song. Leave it to Niall to make it obvious that something not according to plan is happening.

Harry turns to face them, "Nervous about what?"

Louis glowers at Niall as if telling him to fix it immediately. "For the show? Since we're home. I always think shows at home are more nerve-wracking."

"It's worse when your family's in the crowd. I hate when my mum comes to shows." Harry says.

"We could put on the worst show and your mum would still tell us she loved it. My mum’s the same way."

“That’s the problem.”

“I see where you’re coming from, but I don’t know, I think the unconditional support is nice.”

One of their many, many techs speaks, “You’re on in thirty seconds boys.”

“Here goes nothing.”

The group of them do a last minute huddle, hands all touching in the center. Louis leads the huddle with one of their typical chants, “Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go. We keep on singing all day long. Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho.”

There’s a countdown over the speakers backstage. “3…2...1…”

“Let’s smash it.”

A panel slides open and the intense screams fill their eardrums. Smoke and fireworks shoot off, starting the show off with both a literal and figurative bang.

The shows going well. Harry’s taken back his crowd pleasing antics, to a certain extent of course, but he’s, once again, the most crowd oriented member, Liam falls into second place.

Their vocals are spot on. The crowd is active. They couldn’t have asked for a better first show in the UK.

"O2, how are we feeling?" Liam asks the crowd, walking down the catwalk, he's getting a better look at the crowd. It's hard to believe there's still thousands and thousands of fans that still support them and want to see them perform.

Louis can almost feel the arena shaking with the screams that answer Liam's question.

"I think I can speak for all of us when I say, we are having a great time tonight! You're definitely one of the loudest crowds we've had!" He cheers into his mic. He starts to walk back towards Louis. Once he reaches him, he wraps an arm around his shoulders. "Alright, so right now, I'm going to pass my speech off to Tommo."

"So superficial Payno, ridiculous," Louis teases, "This next song is not one that any of you have heard before," Immediately, there's confusion bubbling from the crowd, screaming ensues. "This isn't a song off of our new album. This is a song I wrote during the last week and I hope you enjoy it." Louis smiles. He sees Harry fidgeting where he's sat down. Harry doesn't know what's going on and he doesn't like being the only one on stage who's at the same level of emotion as the audience.

Zayn, Niall, and Liam all take a seat, near Harry. Harry glances at all three of them, individually, and then as a group, "What's going on?"

"I dunno." Niall shrugs, fighting to hide his smirk.

Jon plays the first few notes on his keyboard, subsequently Dan comes in on guitar, followed by Sandy on bass, and finally Josh does a basic beat with his drumset. The song is slow, almost like a ballad, and Harry's face contracts in confusion. He's never heard of these chords or notes.

He doesn't have a clue what's going on and he can't stand it. "What are you doing?" Harry mouths to Louis.

Louis puts the one moment gesture up with his pointer finger, with his other hand he holds his microphone to his lips. He opens his mouth and the lyrics he sings flow out beautifully, "I'm really close tonight and I feel like I'm moving inside him," Harry tilts his head to the side slightly, he hasn't heard Louis speak of a new song. He's still confused.  "Lying in the dark, I think that I'm beginning to know him, let it go, I'll be there," Louis keeps stepping closer to Harry, his eyes remain on him, and it's in that moment he realizes Louis is serenading him.

"And whenever you fall at my feet, won't you let your tears rain down on me? Whenever I touch your slow turning pain," He stands in front of Harry now. Harry keeps his eyes locked on his, he shakes his head at Louis, he isn't seriously doing this right now. He can't believe Louis is doing this.

Liam pivots his head to watch Harry's reactions from where he's sat. He can already see tears surfacing in Harry's eyes. His jaw is starting to contract and he's biting down on his lip. Zayn wraps an arm around his shoulders, "Look at your boy, huh? You must feel so special right now." He whispers to Harry.

"You're hiding from me now, there's something in the way that you're talking, the words don't sound right, but I hear them all moving inside you, know I'll be waiting when you call," It's with that verse that Harry knows the underlying message in the song. He's talking about his epilepsy, but in a poetic way. A way that doesn't make him feel embarrassed.

Harry fists the bottom of his t-shirt, his knuckles are turning white. He doesn't know how to react to any of this. This is nice and Zayn's right, he does feel special, but he doesn't know what to do. "Hey, whenever you fall at my feet, won't you let your tears rain down on me? Whenever I touch your slow burning pain," Louis can see the nerves physically building up in Harry. He reaches down and take one of Harry's hand in his. He laces their fingers together, slotting their thumbs, and he squeezes reassuringly. He places a kiss to the top of Harry's hand which has most of the crowd screaming. There are individual fans, a few groups, who aren't screaming, instead sitting down with disgusted looks painted on their faces, but it doesn't matter. None of the fans matter to them right now, all that matters to them is each other.

Louis' voice becomes sweeter, slower, and softer when he shifts into the bridge of the song, "The finger of blame has turned upon itself and I'm more than willing to offer myself, do you want my presence or need my help? Who knows where that might lead, you fall," Harry starts crying. He doesn't even attempt to keep his composure anymore. Louis is sure the noises he hears are sobs. His eyes dart over to Liam, he expected Harry to get emotional, but not like this. Liam gives him a thumbs up, gesturing for him to continue. These aren't sad tears, Louis has to remind himself.

He releases Harry's hand as he sings the last chorus. Zayn has Harry in a tight hug, he can see the muscles in Zayn's arms clenching from holding him. "Oh Harry." Zayn whispers, smiling at his younger band mate.

"Whenever you fall at my feet, won't you let your tears rain down on me? Whenever I touch your slow turning pain, whenever you fall, whenever you fall." The drums fade first, followed by the guitars, and then the keyboard, the reverse order of how it started.

Louis hands his microphone off to Niall, bends down, and he pulls Harry into the most heartfelt hug. Harry buries his face against Louis's collarbone, sobs are wracking through his body, he's trembling, whispering, "Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you so much" over and over again.

Louis smiles softly and he tightens his hold around Harry's broad frame, "You're welcome. I love you too." He whispers in Harry's ear. "It's okay. Take a deep breath. I didn't know you were going to start crying like this on me." He can faintly make out the boys endeavoring to stall the crowd which he's thankful for. Hopefully, some of them will refrain from recording all of this.

"We've just been through so much," Harry sniffles. "And you did that for me after all I've put you through. I, oh god, that was the best experience of my life. Thank you."

"We have been through a lot. You haven't put me through anything I didn't want to be part of. I'm sure there's still a long way for us to go, but we've got to take the journey to get there."

Harry swallows, shutting his eyes against Louis, and he nods his head, "Thank you for being the best thing that's ever happened to me. Thank you. I don't know what my life would have been without you. I don't think I'd still be here. Thank you." Harry whispers.

Louis presses his hand to the back of Harry's neck and he swipes his thumb back and forth in a soothing motion. "Shh. Don't thank me. This is what love is. I'm glad I fell in love with you."

Harry calms down gradually. He isn't shaking anymore, but he's still pressed against Louis, "We've got a show to continue. Are you up for it?"

Harry pulls away from him, "I’m up for it." He repeats. He takes Louis's hand in his, intertwining their fingers together, and he lifts their hands up, showcasing them to the crowd. The crowd screams and both of them raise their heads proudly.

A few weeks later when Harry’s stood in front of a podium, dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned blouse, Louis can honestly say he’s never been more proud of him. Harry appears healthy for the first time in months, wearing a bright smile and showcasing his lively green eyes, as he stands in front of the room of children and reporters. He isn’t exceedingly thin nor is he particularly pasty. His hair has grown out a tad more, now beginning to curl over his ears and messily lay across his forehead, just how Louis likes it.

Louis sits at one of the tables nearing the front of the room, facing the stage where Harry’s stood. An empty chair is on his left and his mum is on his right. Dan, Robin, Anne, and Gemma occupy the other seats at the round table.

Félicité and Lottie sit at a neighboring table with Sophia, Liam, Niall, and Zayn. Other friends, family, and members of their team sit scattered at tables all around the fairly large party room.  The atmosphere is very pleasant, calm, and comfortable. There aren’t any loud screams from the children and adolescents attending and the reporters and journalists are surprisingly respectful. Louis wonders briefly who threatened them, none of them are that polite by their own beliefs, usually.

He angles his chair to face the stage and he watches Harry as he sorts himself out. He presents himself nervously. Louis can see those damn hands of his shaking as he adjusts his medical alert necklace. Harry glances towards him for assurance and Louis gives him a thumbs up, along with a solid nod and a mouthed, “I love you.”

Harry clears his throat and takes a step closer to the podium. He has to lean down slightly in order to speak into the microphone. Louis smiles fondly and only turns his head away when he feels his mum take his hand into hers.

He gazes in Harry’s direction once he begins to speak. Louis can hear the sound of multiple cameras and camcorders turning on.  “Welcome. It’s an honor to see so many participants here tonight. As most of you know, I’m Harry Styles and this is the first official charity event for Project Evolve,” Harry’s introduction monologue starts off rather smooth, the only distraction is the constant clearing of his throat, which Louis recognizes as a nervous tic. Louis maintains a smile, knowing it’ll assist Harry when he looks his way. “My fiancé, Louis, and I are the founders of Project Evolve and we’re both extremely grateful to have the opportunity to be here tonight and hopefully raise the awareness of epilepsy, not only nationally, but across the entire world. We’re also widely appreciative to have the honors of not only raising money for the research of epilepsy, but more so, we’re excited to have been granted the possibility to meet so many amazing and inspiring children and teenagers affected by epilepsy today. That is truly an accomplishment all by itself.”

“That’s my baby.” Anne whispers to Robin.

He wraps an arm around her shoulders. “I know dear. Aren’t you proud?” He kisses her temple.

Louis smiles at them. He knows the feeling of pride quite well, especially today.

“I’m sure mostly everyone here is aware of my situation. If you’re not, then it’s definitely your lucky day, I’m going to take this time to explain. In March of 1998, I was a very fortunate child. At only four years old, I was as healthy as a curious four year old could be. I was discovering the world, learning new words, and meeting new friends. Everyone I met along the way was a  friend of mine,” Harry smiles. “But my life changed forever on April 1st, 1998. It took only a change of the month to turn my life upside down. A few minutes and I would never be the completely healthy child I had once been.On April 1st 1998 I had my first seizure. My mum rang an ambulance and had me rushed to the nearest hospital, where I would have a second seizure hours later. On April 1st 1998 I was tested and diagnosed with epilepsy. That was seventeen years ago, I am now twenty one years old. Over the course of the last seventeen years, I’ve had multiple types of seizures, though my tonic clonic seizures have stayed with me for all seventeen years.”

Louis deeply inhales as he continues to listen to Harry’s shaky voice. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Gemma and Robin quietly consoling Anne.

“Up until I was 11 years of age, I was homeschooled by my single mother Anne in fear that public school would, unfortunately, break me down. I love you mum. Thank you for always putting me first,” Harry looks directly at her as she speaks and only smiles to the best of his ability when he sees her raw emotions. “As I entered Year 7, I learned more about myself and also I learned how cruel other individuals can be. I found out there are many misconceptions about epilepsy among not only children, but supposedly responsible adults.” Harry’s lips purse together. He pauses and draws in a sharp breath. “One, epilepsy is contagious. Seriously, there are actual human beings that will avoid an epileptic due to the fear of catching epilepsy. I’ve learned this on first hand basis many, many times. Epilepsy is not contagious because it is a neurological disorder in which nerve cell activity is disturbed. It’s all internal.”

Louis sits up straight in his seat. Hearing Harry talk with such confidence only makes him more joyous. He’s never heard Harry speak so openly or intelligently about his epilepsy.

“Two, epilepsy is extremely rare and if you’re diagnosed you’re automatically a mistake. Many people have never met someone with epilepsy, but just because you, personally, have never seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Statistics say that one in twenty six people will develop epilepsy in their lifetime. More than 65 million people are affected worldwide. Three, at least it’s not cancer, you can’t die from epilepsy, it’s not that serious. Epilepsy can be a very serious condition and there are many individuals that die from it. If seizures are not taken care of properly than death is often a very possible outcome.”

Louis becomes rigid with that blunt statement. That’s his number one fear and now Harry’s addressed it. Somehow his epilepsy has become even more real.

“When I was a student, years ago, I was not liked nor respected by my peers. I was strange to them. I was called a freak and a spaz. I was a mistake in the eyes of everyone I met. They didn’t understand me and they didn’t give themselves a chance to understand me. I was treated poorly and I had multiple breakdowns during my school days because I wanted to be accepted more than anything else. I want all the kids out there, both the ones in this very room and the ones watching clips of this speech, to know that it does get better. You may be stuck in your own head right now. I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind, but I need you to know that it does get better. I’m prime example of this. I’ve made it seventeen years and I’m marrying the best person I’ve ever met in a few months. He loves me for me and he treats me with so much respect and kindness. I never thought I’d ever be worth anything, but standing here in front of all of you, educating you, is an honor and honestly the most thrilling thing I’ve ever done with my life. There were, and still are days, where I feel alone and sad and don’t want to be around anymore, but sometimes you have to focus on the positives of your life and push forward. It’s hard and I know that, but find a good support system or something that makes you extremely happy and you’ll be okay, I promise. I’ll leave you with that. Thank you all for coming tonight. Let’s have a great rest of the night.” Harry steps away from the podium and walks down the steps of the stage.

As soon as he’s on the main floor Louis throws himself at him, hugging him tightly. “That was beautiful.” He kisses every inch of Harry’s face. “I am so proud of you, oh god, you had me tearing up.”

“It was good then?”

“Good? It was bloody fantastic. That was better than my Believe In Magic speech.”

“No,” Harry coos. “You have a proper calm speaking voice. I was nervous the entire time.”

“That’s what made your speech personable. You did amazing. And - oh my god, I just - I love you more than anything. I’m so proud.”

Before Harry has the chance to tell Louis he loves him too, there’s a delicate voice breaking them apart, “Excuse me? I’m lost.”

Harry takes a step back from Louis. There’s a little girl, no older than eight, staring up at them with wide, frightened brown eyes. “Hi,” Harry slowly gets down on his knees. Louis stands behind Harry, placing his hands on his shoulders, but he doesn’t interfere. He watches the little girl in awe. “I’m Harry. What’s your name?”

“Keira.” She drawls the word out. Her hands are clasped together behind her back and she sways side to side as she looks at Harry.

“Keira, you are absolutely beautiful,” Harry tells her. “Are you here with your mummy?”

Keira nods, “Yeah.”

“Do you remember where you saw her last?”

Keira shrugs.

“Well, why don’t we go find her?” Harry offers her his hand and she wraps her hand around a few of Harry’s fingers. His hands much larger than hers. He stands up and nods for Louis to follow.

The three of them walk across the room and right as Harry starts to ask Keira what her mum looks like, a woman in her early thirties comes running through a throng of people, “Keira! There you are! I told you not to wander off like that, young lady.”

Harry releases Keira’s hand and watches as she runs to her mum. Her mum bends down and embraces Keira tightly.

“I am so sorry about that. She’s always wandering off.”

Both Louis and Harry manage to say at the same time, “It’s okay.”

“You - oh, you’re Harry Styles. And you must be Louis. I’m Julia. It’s an honor to meet you both. Thank you so much for hosting this event. Your speech was a proper tear-jerker.”

Louis reaches for Harry’s hand and intertwines their fingers.

“That’s what Louis told me,” Harry steps closer to Keira. “Does Keira have epilepsy?” He asks, curiously.

“She does, yeah. I always worry she’s going to have a fit when she wanders off." Julia runs her hands through her hair in frustration.

"She's an explorer," Louis smiles. "Curiosity, it's a good thing."

“Mummy says epilepsy makes me special.” Keira tells Harry and Louis.

“Really?” Harry releases Louis’s hand, crouching down in order to be eye-level with the young girl. “That’s what my mummy tells me too. She says she doesn’t know anyone as special as me.”

Keira smiles at him, “My mummy says I’m like the universe.”

Harry glances up at Julia, his eyebrows furrowed, but before he can ask, Louis blurts out, “Why’s that?”

“Hard to understand, yet extraordinarily beautiful,” Julia says. “It doesn’t matter if you understand it or not, it will always be there.”

Louis smiles at that. He agrees.

“What’s this?” Keira leans forward. She pushes Harry’s cross aside and she holds the dogtag in her clammy palm, closing her fist around the piece of metal.

Julia scolds her, “Keira. Don’t be rude.”

“It’s okay,” Harry whispers. “You know sometimes when you’re sick and you go to sleep for a while? And when you wake up your mummy helps you?” Keira nods. “Well, if my mummy or my boyfriend,” He points to Louis. Louis looks displeased with the word boyfriend being used, but smiles nevertheless. “aren’t around when I'm sick this necklace will get me the help I need.”

Harry knows that epilepsy technically speaking isn’t an illness or a disease, it’s a chronic medical condition. It doesn’t matter what it’s referred to, to most, but some epileptics are offended by language such a ‘disease’ or ‘illness’.

“Like a firefighter?”

“Well, sort of, I suppose," Harry nods. “If someone finds me when I’m sick, they read my necklace, and by doing that they can get me help. They’ll help get me to a doctor.”

“Keira, you have a bracelet like that, show Harry.” Julia points to a pink metallic bracelet on Keira’s wrist. Keira holds her wrist out to show Harry. “She doesn’t understand how important it is yet. She only knows that mummy wants her to always leave it on.”

“We’re twins!” Harry cheers.

Keira scrunches her nose up and shakes her head. “No?” Harry pouts.

Keira laughs, "We don't look alike."

"But we've both got cool accessories, yeah?"

Keira smiles at him and releases his dog tag, allowing it to fall back against his chest. She finally realizes, “You’re ill too."

Harry smiles at Keira, “I’ve got the same thing you have, love.”

“Epilepsy?”

“Yeah. It’s a bugger, isn’t it?”

Keira nods, “Yeah.”

Harry bops her on the nose with his finger, “But always remember what your mum tells you. You’re special. Never forget that, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can I have a cuddle?” Harry asks and Keira smiles. He gives a glance towards Julia, wanting her approval before he pulls Kiera in for a hug. Julia, of course, gives him a firm nod and Harry leans forward, reaching for Keira and he pulls her against his chest.

Keira hugs him back, though her short arms don’t nearly wrap all the way around him, and she giggles suddenly, “Your hair’s tickling me.”

Harry smiles at her and purposely nudges his hair against her cheek. “No! Stop!” She laughs.

She pulls away from him and Julia steps forward, placing her hand on the top of Keira's head, “I’m sure you two have plenty of other guests to attend to. We’ll be on our way.”

“Are you staying with the charity?” Harry asks. “I’d love to see Kiera again.”

Julia thinks about it for less than a second, “Yes. I plan on it.”

“Great. I’ll see you two around then. Bye Kiera.”

"Say bye to Harry." Julia encourages.

"Bye Harry!" Keira runs forward one last time and gives Harry a kiss on the cheek.

"Come on babe." Julia holds her hand out for Keira. She smiles one last time at Harry and Louis before they turn away.  Harry waves at them until they disappear into the mass group of people.

He finally stands up and when he turns around he practically jumps out of his own skin. He forgot Louis had been there. “Aren’t you glad you did this?” Louis asks.

“I never thought it would feel as awarding as it does.”

Louis steps closer to him, taking both of his hands in his, “You treated Keira sweetly. I can’t wait to have children of our own one day,” Their eyes meet. “You’re going to change things for a lot of people Harry.”

“I hope so.”

“You’re handing these kids great advice. You’re changing their lives already and this is only the first step. In some cases you're their lifeline."

“You are too.” Harry argues, quietly.

“Not like you are. You’re a role model. You’re teaching them that it’s okay to embrace their conditions and struggles, Harry, and no one other than you can do it in the same way. You understand their problems. It makes you a good mentor. I watched how everyone reacted to your speech. The parents and the teenagers, especially, were emotional and I could tell everything you said was something they had experienced,” Louis steps closer to him, their chests nearly touch. “This was lifesaving for some of those kids. You can't save everyone, you know that, but I'd be surprised if one kid walked out of here today feeling alone and depressed. I always knew you would turn your situation into something great. It just took a bit of time, is all."

"Yeah, seventeen years," Harry breathing is gentle, his eyelids flutter as he looks down at Louis, “All of this is thanks to you. I wouldn’t be anything without you. Your support is everything. Thank you for this. I couldn’t be happier.”

Louis’s lips pull into a half smile. A nostalgic feeling crosses over him. Caressing Harry’s cheek with one hand, he uses the other to lift his chin. Their nose brush against each other’s moments before Louis’ lips touch Harry’s. The kiss is filled with passion, Louis feels his body yearning for more. He wishes for a second that they were home, but the feeling fades when he remembers where they are. They’re doing a great thing. Harry’s doing a great thing.

Harry shifts away from the kiss, but he doesn’t travel far. He compresses their foreheads together, “I love you.”

“I love you too."

There's a pause between the two of them as the music in the room fades into a slow song, I Don't Want To Miss a Thing by Aerosmith plays over the speakers, and Louis eyes Harry, lips pulling into a smirk. "Care to dance?"

"Of course."

Louis leads Harry to the dance floor and he adjusts the position of his hands, placing one hand on Harry's broad shoulder and keeping the other intertwined with Harry's. Harry places his free hand on the small of Louis's back. Louis lays his head against his hand that rests on Harry’s shoulder. They sway to the sweet melody of the music.

Harry hesitates for a moment before he says, "I think I finally found my reason, Louis."

"What do you mean?"

"I think God, the greater power, gave me the last seventeen years, the heartache, the pain, the depression, the isolation, all so I could do this. I'm meant to help others. My life had to be grueling at times, so I could understand what it's like to drown before I could swim."

Louis picks his head up slightly, gazing at Harry, "Oh, I don't know Harry. Don't you think seventeen years is a bit harsh?"

"It was to show that this wasn't a death sentence. I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm alive and doing impeccably well. I'm in the biggest boyband around, I was given you, and I have golden opportunities to help the world."

Louis doesn't understand how Harry can have so much trust and faith to man he's never met.

"And you, Louis, you're like my own guardian angel."

Louis whispers, touching Harry's cheek, his thumb brushes over his cheekbone,  "Harry. Love, I think you may be reading into this a tad too much."

"No, you are, Louis, I know you are. I always tell you that I've never met anyone like you and it's true. There's something different about you and I can't explain it. It's sort of like you have your own light attached to you and I can see it whenever I look at you."

"Sweetheart."

"My life before X-Factor, before I met you, was awful. But as soon as we met everything fell into place. You were the first person to understand me and you didn't even know me. You've always been indescribable to me."

Louis sighs. He won't argue with Harry.

"Nobody has ever loved me or treated me like you and for that, I'm eternally grateful. You don't have to understand or agree with the way I view this entire situation, that's okay, babe." Harry smiles. "I just think you were given to me for a reason, but I still don't know why I deserve you."

"I know," Louis whispers. His breath puffs against Harry’s jaw. "You are the most charitable and kind person. You've only ever done good. Your life was heartache on top of heartache and you finally deserved something in exchange for your good. I was opposite of you. You've taught me life lessons along the way. You've taught me how to be strong and how to find the positive in any situation. I needed to learn. That's why the universe brought us together." Louis catches Harry's eyes and in that moment he's looking at the past five years of his life. It passes by in seconds, but everything he's ever felt with Harry rushes to the surface, snapshots of both the wonderful and terrible moments they've shared flood his memory, and he nearly gasps at the overwhelming feeling coursing through his entire body. But he chooses to hold it in.

He blinks a few times to clear his vision, swallowing down the unexplainable feeling he's experienced. Harry watches him, confused, his eyebrows are drawn together and his lips are pursed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Louis places a gentle kiss to Harry’s neck. “Just thinking a bit too much.”

A few moments pass, “Hey Lou?”

“Yes, love?” Louis hums.

“I think we should have this as our wedding song.”

Louis smiles,”I think so too.”   

“Let’s get Aerosmith to perform at the wedding.” Harry rests his cheek on top of Louis’s head, shutting his eyes. He absorbs the music.

Louis teases, “Alright, let me just call Steven Tyler right up then, yeah?”

“I’ll love you forever.”

“You already love me forever.”

“I know.”

It’s easy to say, they’ve never had an even road to travel on, there’s always been bumps and cracks in the pavement, but they travel together. When they find themselves separated, they use instinct to find each other once again.

Both of them know their rough journey is far from over, but the feeling of hope settles into their minds because Louis will always have Harry and Harry will always have Louis. They will arrive at their final destination together. If there was never a journey, would the destination be as meaningful?

Louis has been all the support Harry has needed for the last five years. Their bond grows stronger and stronger with everyday that passes. One day they’ll be married and Louis will still always be there for Harry.

No matter what time it is or where he’s to be located, Louis will always come running.