Chapter Text
“ No…No! What are you doing?” She makes another fist, directing it for the back of little Steven’s head.” Stop it! Stop it!”
Steven lunges forwards, bent fingers aching to pull his mother away, but he’s pulled back instantly. Hands raise him up under his armpits and swing him about until he’s almost cradled in the arms of another woman.
“ Stop it! Let me go!” Steven pulls against the ladies hold on him, nearly embarrassed yet shocked by the hold, but can’t find a weak spot. “ Let me go!”
“ Your baby is quite the fussy one, isn’t he?” The woman asks from above. Her eyes fixated on Steven yet tone definitely not one meant for him, or a child. For that matter.
“ What are you ever going to do with him?”
The world shifts and Steven wriggles as the woman- possibly a nurse- holds him for presentation. The audience?
His mother.
She’s younger now. There aren’t as many lines on her face and she seems…almost happy. A far-cry from…from…what was it?
Steven can’t quite remember. He squirms again in the nurse’s grip and tries his best to wiggle the curled fingers of his hand.
“ Ah!” Is the only sound he can make, that and crying.
His mother rolls her eyes playfully.” Give him to me, I want to hold my baby.”
“ And you’re sure you’re not tired?” The nurse asks, all the while still handing Steven over to his mother.” We could always put him a cot…or your husband could-“
“ I would like to hold him. For now.” Steven coos at his mothers tense tone. He waves a crooked arm to get her attention but is ignored.
“ Thank you for the offer.” His mother gives a tight lipped smile and the nurse leaves. A slight stagger to her step.
It’s when they’re left alone that his mothers face falls, the lines returning. She looks down at him with a grimace.
“ What the hell am I going to do with you?” Her tone is low and sad, contradicting the pointed slant of her eyebrows.” I’m not ready to be a mother…”
Steven coos again, his tiny fist reaching out to her.
“ Ah!”
Her dark brown eyes stare at his fist, then to Steven, and then back.
She sighs and shifts her hold under his armpits.” Well, as long as you stay quiet so that I can rest…Maybe I’ll think about it.”
Steven frowns at the feeling of lips pressing between his eyes. He lets the whiteness of his hospital room disappear behind fresh pink eyelids. His mothers voice almost fading into the darkness until he’s prompted to open them again.
Knives and forks clink together.
“ Eat your dinner, Marc.”
______
Marc can’t really find the right words to say, and that makes the endless journey through hallway after hallway pain-filled. Jake hasn’t said a word to him. He keeps walking and walking, throwing them deeper and deeper into the hospital. His shoes leave behind fading bloody footprints, and Marc guesses his own do as well but…he hasn’t gathered enough courage to check.
Each door they pass is locked. Jake wiggles the nob, kicks it, and then moves on to the next. A cycle that repeats over and over again. The knob jiggles, the door thunders and then shoes start to squeak.
Over and over. And over again.
“ Would you-“ Marc pauses for a moment, tired eyes watching the way Jake’s hand still twists the door knob.”…We’ve tried every damn door in this place. Give it up.”
Jake kicks the door and moves on.” Then what are we supposed to do?” His voice is eerily calm.” Pity myself for all eternity? That’s not how I want to spend my after life.”
Marc stops his mindless following.” There is no afterlife, we’re not staying here.”
“ Then, again, what do you want me to do about that?” The door knob jiggles, a door thunders and shoes squeak.” We’re dead, dumbass. Not much we can do.”
“ We can get out of here.” Marc supplies in a tone he’s not so sure of.” We need to…Harrows out there, Layla-“
“ Can handle herself.” Jake turns around for the first time within the hour.” You, of all people, should know that. You’re just creating more problems than there already are.” Jiggle, thunder and squeak.
Marc tightens his fists.” So what? We’re just gonna leave her to fix our problems? Let, let Harrow take over the world?”
“ Why do you care?!” Jake accuses, throwing his arms up.” We’re dead! Steven’s double dead-“
Marc flinches.” Hey-“
“ Shut up. What do you want me.to.do?” He shrugs his shoulders and gestures to the white, endless hallway.” We’ve got- got a million doors to try and open. A lifetime to find something other than what we’ve been dealt with our whole lives.”
Jake takes a moment to breath. He runs a hand down his face, revealing deep wrinkles that Marc has seen a million times in the mirror.
“ Why do you want to go back? Even if we could- why?” Marc remains stoic, arms now crossed as Jake shows his back to him.” There’s nothing there for us. Enjoy a simple, boring eternity while it lasts.”
Jiggle, thunder, and squeak.
Marc watches Jake go. Each door checked and kicked. A faint, bloody footprint right in the middle.
“ So, you’re giving up?” Marc lets his arms fall.” Just like that?”
Jake keeps moving.” Yep.” Another door.” Just like that.”
Marc nods to himself, his lips pursing.
“ So, what? You protecting me my whole life was just, just nothing to you?” His lip twitches watching Jake’s shoulders stiffen.” Why didn’t you just give up sooner, then? If, if you knew nothing would matter to you in the end…why even try?”
“ If you didn’t want to live in that kind of world-“ Jake turns around, a pinched expression on his face, but Marx braces it.” If you wouldn’t choose to go back to it, even given the chance, then why keep us alive? If it was for nothing?”
Jake tilts his head.” Why don’t you shut the fuck up.” He straightens back up and points at Marc.” I did everything I could to protect you and Steven because It was my job. I didn’t ask to be somebodies guard dog, that was all on you.” Jake’s breathing quickens, he lets his arm fall.
“ I suffered because if I didn’t, I would drown. And so would you.” He takes a moment to step back, shoulders parallel to Marc.” I didn’t want to be the reason why you two died…and, and now that we’re here…Free of everything…it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”
Marc listens quietly. A pool of guilt brewing within him.
Jake rubs his nose. “ It’s not my job to take care of you anymore. And I’m fine with that, even if it sounds like I’m giving up.” Jake takes a step closer to one of the doors he’s already kicked and turns the knob.
“ I would rather died a thousand times over than be reborn again.”
The door opens.