Chapter Text
When Tubbo and Quackity first reached out to Puffy about taking on a new client, she was apprehensive, to put it gently.
Not because she was busy, or because she thought she couldn't handle it, or anything along those lines.
No, she was worried about how little information they were giving her.
"The client is very concerned with their privacy. There is someone they don't want to find them," Tubbo had warned.
Puffy was frankly a bit worried they'd kidnapped the person, or were coercing someone into something they were uncomfortable with.
Although both of them had improved by leaps and bounds since they'd started therapy, Puffy knew that they were fallible and were capable of doing terrible things, especially Quackity.
Still, after a day and a half of nagging, Puffy agreed to meet the mystery client the next day. If this person was in trouble, she reasoned, she could get them out and help them hide away somewhere safe.
So, at one in the afternoon, Tubbo and Ranboo dropped off Tommy immediately left to go wait outside.
Puffy had to admit, Tommy wasn't the person she'd been expecting. The sunny teenager seemed like the last person on the server who would seek out therapy.
But seeing Tommy now, he looked less like bright skies and more like a cloudy day. He looked far paler and thinner than the last time Puffy had seen him, and he refused to meet Puffy's eyes.
Exile apparently hadn't been the nice vacation that Ghostbur told her about.
"Hello, Tommy," Puffy started. "How are you feeling today?"
Tommy stared at his feet and started fidgeting with his hands. He did not sit down or grab one of the fidget toys Puffy kept in her office.
"Oh, uh, fine, I guess," he mumbled. Puffy forced a smile. This was going to be a long session, wasn't it?
"Why don't you take a seat?" She suggested.
-
Tommy awkwardly sat down in the bean bag in the corner of Puffy's office. Puffy herself sat in an armchair and held a clipboard.
Tommy wasn't sure how he felt about the whole therapy thing. He wasn't sure what the point of Dream convincing Tommy they were friends was. But Quackity said that therapy would help Tommy answer his questions, and Tubbo said that it would help him feel better about himself, so there he was.
Puffy's office was filled with items. The entire left wall was a bookcase where the center shelves held sparkle jars and pens and a whole list of odd items that left Tommy wondering what they were used for, and the soft carpet had a short coffee table with a basket of fidget toys on it.
Fidgeting with stim toys was a habit Tommy dropped during the war. He had actually started to pick them up again during the election, but then Pogtopia hit and he just… couldn't. They weren't available, and he knew how to keep himself from stimming by the time exile rolled around.
"So, Tommy, what brings you here today?" Puffy asked. Tommy's eyes flicked to the cherry wood floor.
"Oh. Uh, Tubbo and Quackity said you could help me work through some stuff," he replied.
"What exactly do you want to work on?" Puffy pressed. Tommy wrapped his arms around his body.
"I know I'm… kind of a walking disaster, and my friends said that I could help sort that out here." Tommy explained. Puffy nodded.
"Okay. Why do you view yourself as a walking disaster?" She questioned.
"I- I just am. Have you met me?" Tommy felt a laugh bubble out of his chest. "But, if you want a specific incident, George's house."
Puffy narrowed her eyes, scribbling some things down on her clipboard.
"That was what, six months ago?" She checked.
"Five," Tommy corrected. He sucked in a deep breath. "I don't think I've done anything else since then because I haven't gotten the chance, what with me being in exile and all."
"How was exile, then?" Puffy asked. Tommy winced.
"Uh. It was… it wasn't great," he admitted. Puffy nodded.
"Can you give me a little bit more detail? I don't need you to tell me about all of your trauma-"
"It wasn't traumatic!!" Tommy insisted. He paused. "Well, maybe a little. I just- it was just me, out there, most of the time. Initially other people would show up for a few hours every few days, but after a while, the only people who really stopped by were Dream and Ghostbur, and even Ghostbur got tired of-'
Tommy took a deep breath.
"Even Ghostbur got tired of me after a while. I did something dumb not long after that pissed off Dream, and he stopped showing up for a little bit. I guess… it was just lonely," he admitted.
"Humans are social animals, Tommy. You need to be around other people, and extreme isolation like that isn't good for one's psyche," Puffy explained.
"I was seeing someone every day, except for that one week…" Tommy trailed off.
"Yes, but that puts you in a very vulnerable position with that person where they can abuse your trust for their own ends. Whoever this person was, they were your only source of information or supplies from the outside world, correct?" Puffy checked. Tommy nodded. Puffy sighed.
"That person had a lot of power over you, Tommy. Do you think they abused it?" She asked.
Dream was trying to make Tommy better, to help him be more tolerable for the rest of the server. He was helping him, and Tommy was genuinely improving.
But Dream was also a liar, telling Tommy that people who cared about him didn't (unless Tommy was being an idiot and misinterpreted Tubbo's actions, which honestly seemed like a possibility) and lied about the drama between him and Sapnap.
"I know he lied to me," Tommy admitted, chewing at his lip. Puffy nodded.
"I see. I can help you sort out your feelings on exile, and help you deal with your insecurities about being a problem, if that's what you'd like," Puffy proposed.
"Sounds good," Tommy agreed.
-
A week went by. A week of Tommy listening to music with Fundy, playing cards with Quackity, reading with Ranboo, and just chatting with Tubbo.
Apparently Tubbo was in therapy, too. That wasn't something Tommy was expecting.
"Yeah. I decided to go after talking to Puffy one day, and Schlatt came up, and well- I didn't give her the full picture, but she thought that I needed to talk to someone. So, I started going to therapy." Tubbo explained, shrugging.
Tommy closed the door to Tubbo's office.
"Did- did it help?" He asked. Tubbo shrugged.
"I think so. It's not an immediate fix, and it's not a perfect system, but I don't get the nightmares as much anymore, and I don't worry as much about being like him, so I think it's helped." He replied.
"Good," Tommy agreed. Tubbo nodded.
"Schlatt was an ass. Wilbur was a bastard by the end, but neither of them have anything on Dream." Tubbo spat his name like it was a dirty word.
"I still don't know how to feel about him." Tommy admitted, sitting down next to Tubbo's chair. Tubbo dropped down next to him.
"And that's okay. You don't need to have everything figured out, boss man. Just know that he's not going to hurt you, Tommy. You're safe here. We're not going to fuck you over like that ever again." Tubbo promised, leaning onto Tommy's shoulder.
"I know. But while we're on the topic of Dream…" Tommy trailed off.
"What's up?" Tubbo asked. Tommy met his eyes.
"Why didn't you ever visit me in exile, Tubbo?"
"Oh." Tubbo paused, sitting up. He sighed. "Well, I figured you were mad and didn't want to see me. Eventually Dream started telling people you didn't want visitors, so…"
"And- and you just took his word for it? After fucking- the war, and Pogtopia, and my fucking discs?!" Tommy exclaimed. He didn't know why he was mad. He didn't know why he was taking it out on Tubbo, of all people.
"We shouldn't have. We should've gone and asked you ourselves," Tubbo admitted.
"But you didn't. You left me to rot," Tommy spat. Tubbo nodded.
"That's fair. You needed us, and we weren't there." He paused. "I'm sorry."
"Fuck," Tommy gasped. He pulled his knees to his chest. "I… I don't know what's wrong with me. I shouldn't be mad at you."
"You have every right to be mad. You have every right to be mad at me. You have every right to be mad at L'Manburg," Tubbo promised. "We were your support system, and we abandoned you. You should be mad."
"At the end of the day, I still think it's my fault," Tommy admitted. Tubbo took a deep breath.
"In theory, there were things you could've done to prevent exile. But none of them were things you were expected to do, and I honestly think Dream was just looking for an excuse to exile you," he commented.
"I hope not," Tommy replied.
"Dream is a bastard. At this point, I don't think there's anything that's beneath him," Tubbo sneered.
"He… he wasn't all bad. At least, not at first. We'd hang out, and he'd help me with whatever little project I was working on, assuming I handed over my tools and armor. But over time, it was less him letting me borrow his trident and more demanding my stuff to the point that all I had was a pile of sticks one time and he still blew it up," Tommy admitted. Tubbo paused.
"Thank you for telling me. Just remember that just because there were points in time where he was kind to you doesn't mean he isn't an abusive bastard."
"Alright. I'll keep that in mind," Tommy agreed.
-
One day, in the library, Ranboo suggested something that Tommy wasn't expecting.
"Hey, do you want to head down to Niki's? I could do for some pastries right now," they suggested. Tommy paused.
"Wait, I thought I wasn't allowed to leave?" He checked. Ranboo looked down at his shoes.
"Oh. Uh, sorry. We just didn't want you running back to Dream. You're not a prisoner. Anyways, I'll get you anything you want off the menu. So, do you want to head down to Niki's?" They repeated.
"Sure. You don't have to get me anything, though," Tommy agreed. Ranboo smiled.
"Awesome!! She's going to be glad you're back. Probably. And I'm getting you something because you haven't had one of Niki's treats in months and that should qualify as a crime." He pulled Tommy to his feet and the two practically raced out the door.
On their way out of the white house, Tommy grabbed a cloak. It was one of Tubbo's, an old one he'd had since the revolution. Tommy didn't want all of L'Manburg to know he was back yet, so he pulled the hood up and stuck close to Ranboo.
They wove their way out of the government district and into the upper-class shopping neighborhood. Niki's bakery was the most popular place there, and Tommy wasn't surprised to see a lot of people hanging around at the seating outside.
The bakery itself was small, at least in the front. Niki didn't want any indoor seating to keep people from loitering for hours, which was fair.
Niki greeted Ranboo and Tommy with a smile.
"Hey, Ranboo!! Who's your friend?" She asked. Ranboo grinned.
"Actually, it's Tommy. He's back."
"Uh. Hi." Tommy input, removing his hood. Niki nodded, surprisingly calm. At least on the outside.
"Good to have you back, Tommy," she replied. "What would you like to order?"
"Uhh, can I get a box of double chocolate cookies? What do you want, Tommy?" Ranboo asked, looking at Tommy expectantly. He took a deep breath. He didn't do anything wrong, he was just ordering a treat.
"Could I get a red velvet cupcake?" Tommy tried.
"Sticking to the classics, I see," Niki chuckled. She grabbed a medium white box and carefully set twelve cookies in it. She then retrieved a smaller white box and set Tommy's cupcake inside. "Will that be all?"
"Tubbo's not out of honey croissants, is he?" Tommy checked. Ranboo paused.
"Worse, I took the last one. Yeah, we'll need eight of those. Thank you, Niki."
"No problem, Ranboo. I hope you can get these to Tubbo before he realizes he's out." She sighed, boxing up the croissants.
"I love Tubbo, but if you mess with his food he turns into a nightmare," Ranboo laughed. Niki handed him the three boxes.
"That'll be two diamonds and two gold ingots. Godspeed, Ranboo. See you around, Tommy." Niki nodded at him.
"See you," Tommy replied. The wind chimes in Niki's doorway jingled as Ranboo and Tommy left to return home.
-
Tommy entered his second therapy session nervously. The first one has involved a surprising amount of Puffy talking about herself. She said it was to establish trust in her, which was pretty reasonable considering Tommy was supposed to dump all his inner thoughts on her.
Puffy sat in her chair.
"How's your week been?" She started. Tommy shrugged.
"Pretty good. I got cupcakes with Ranboo. But I also blew up at Tubbo," he admitted.
"Really? Why?"
"Well, I don't know. We were just discussing exile, and how nobody ever came except Dream…" he trailed off. Puffy nodded.
"Being abandoned made you upset, didn't it? I know that you and Tubbo are close, and I can't imagine it was pleasant for him to not even attempt to contact you for months on end."
"Yeah. It fucking sucked. But Tubbo just wanted what was best for L'Manburg, and for me. I needed to deal with the consequences of my actions for once," Tommy retorted. Puffy sighed, scribbling something down on her clipboard.
"Do you think that exile, overall, was good or bad for you?" Puffy asked, her gaze meeting Tommy's. Tommy's eyes fell.
"I… it doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does," Puffy gently insisted. Tommy pulled his knees to his chest.
"Logically, I know it was good for me. Logically, I know it helped me be… less, I guess. In the way that I was too much before, you know? But I was miserable," Tommy paused. He steadied himself, taking a deep breath. "I used to think about killing myself. I nearly went through with an attempt once, and ran away, but I ran into Dream. Man, was he pissed."
Tommy chuckled humorlessly. Puffy jotted something down.
"Alright, Tommy. Thank you for trusting me. Can you tell me a bit more about your suicidal thoughts?" She requested, keeping her voice soft.
"Uh, yeah," he replied. "Sometimes, I would think about just… ending it. I feel- felt abandoned, like there was nobody in the universe who cared. Like I was a waste of space, and I would be doing everyone a favor if I just… disappeared."
"Okay. That's some pretty heavy stuff to deal with. How did you deal with those thoughts in exile?"
"I just… I tried to ignore it, I guess." Tommy stated, glancing away. Puffy nodded.
"So you'd classify them as intrusive thoughts?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"How have these intrusive thoughts been since you returned to L'Manburg?" Puffy probed.
"I don't think I've had any since I came back," Tommy mumbled. "But… I do always just kind of feel like I'm a burden to the people around me."
He'd never said that aloud. It was something he'd been thinking for a while, and it felt… freeing, in a way, to voice it.
"I can assure you that you're not a burden to anyone in your life. If anyone didn't explicitly want you here, they would have told you," Puffy promised.
"Yeah. Yeah. Uh, can we change the subject?" Tommy requested. Puffy nodded.
"So, Dream was y- the person watching you?" She checked.
Tommy didn't want to tell her this early, but it was a bit late now that he'd let the name slip.
"Yeah," he admitted.
"Thank you for telling me. I promise that he's not going to hurt you here."
"Everyone's been saying that. He… he did a lot of stuff, and said it was for my own good," Tommy explained.
"See, Tommy, other people cannot define what's best for you. Occasionally, a person will find themself in a situation where they don't have all of the information or has developed an addiction where an intervention is needed, but that doesn't sound like what you went through," Puffy replied.
"Yeah, but when the L'Manburg cabinet pulled me out of exile, they said it was for my own good even though I didn't agree," Tommy shot back. Puffy sighed.
"It sounds like you might've had Stockholm syndrome, and I'm sure that the cabinet reached the same conclusion that I did."
"Yeah, you're right. They probably know better than I do about this whole situation anyways." Tommy laughed humorlessly. Puffy shook her head.
"They may have made the right call about exile, but that says nothing about what happens now. It's your life, and it's up to you. Trust yourself, Tommy," She promised.
"Thanks, I guess." Tommy mumbled, looking away.
"I know it might be hard to understand right now, but you are the master of your sea. There's nothing wrong with going along with what other people want, but remember to do what you want to do, too. You're a good kid, Tommy. Myself and the other people in your life will keep reminding you until you believe it," Puffy informed him. Tommy smiled.
"You big sap," He joked. Puffy smiled back.
-
After therapy, Tommy decided to hang out with Quackity. He tended to be surprisingly wise, even if he did crack a lot of jokes.
"Hey, big Q, what's going on?" Tommy asked. Quackity sighed, staring at the papers on his desk.
"I am currently resisting the urge to call Eret a fucking piece of shit."
"...what?? What'd Eret so to warrant that? Did he scam you on a deal or something?" Tommy responded. Quackity took a deep breath.
"Okay. You know how I was married to Schlatt, right?" He checked. Tommy nodded. "Yeah, Eret was supposed to marry us, too. But she walked away at the altar like a goddamn coward."
"Sounds like they dodged a bullet," Tommy commented.
"Yes, but I don't work well in monogamous relationships. Why do you think I'm dating Karl and Sapnap?" He asked.
"Fair enough. But, like, since when have you three been a thing?" Tommy questioned.
"We started dating… maybe three weeks into your exile? We've been going for a while now," he replied. Tommy sighed.
"Yeah. It has been a while."
"If we get married and one of them no-shows, I'm backing out too," Quackity decided. Tommy shook his head.
"Sounds like a safe move, considering your history."
"Agreed."
"But if you need some help dealing with Eret, let me know," Tommy offered.
"He likes you, doesn't she?" Quackity checked. Tommy shrugged.
"We were good friends back in early L'Manburg. They always felt guilty after she betrayed us," he replied.
"Ah. Sorry."
"You literally were not even a little bit involved, and I've pretty much moved on. Bigger and worse shit has happened since then," Tommy joked. Quackity blinked.
"Fair. Please tell me you've never stopped trying to one up Eret, though."
"Oh, hell no," Tommy cackled. "I've forgiven him, but I haven't forgotten what they did. Plus, isn't it on her for letting me get away with some of those deals?"
"True, true," Quackity agreed. "I could actually use your help, though."
"What are you asking Eret for?" Tommy asked, stepping next to Quackity.
"Well, we need to expand on our imports of building supplies. Just the basics- wood and stone. I don't want to throw it on Tubbo, but writing to Eret is so annoying!!" Quackity complained. Tommy nodded.
"Draft the letter like you're asking for redstone from the badlands, and then rewrite it to change names, locations, and items. That's how I handled it whenever I had to ask for shit from Eret before the election," he explained. Quackity grinned.
"Thanks for the help, man. Here's to not starting a war over something stupid."
"Catch you later, Quackity. Good luck!!" And with that, Tommy left.
-
Later that day, there was a picnic by the bench. Cat (not the original disc, but the next best thing) were playing, and a nice quilt was spread out on the grass.
Tommy thought that Tubbo was just dragging him outside to touch grass, but this was definitely better.
Ranboo, Quackity, and Fundy were already waiting for them. Quackity smiled.
"Hey, Tommy!! Glad you could make it," he chirped.
"Guys? What is this?" Tommy asked. Fundy laughed.
"It's free food, dumbass. Dig in!!"
Tommy knelt on the quilt as Quackity pulled out paper plates and plastic utensils. Ranboo opened a basket, and there were sandwiches, honey, crackers, and a fruit salad inside. Tubbo plopped down beside him.
"Looks pretty good, doesn't it?" He commented. Tommy grinned.
"Yeah," he agreed. He tentatively reached for a sandwich, carefully pulling it out of the basket. It was a classic BLT and looked amazing.
"Did you know that Ranboo can cook?" Tubbo asked.
"Ranboo made this?" Tommy checked. Ranboo turned red.
"Uh, yeah. I know how to cook, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to show off a bit," they explained. Tommy nodded.
"It looks really good," he noted. He took a big bite out of the sandwich. The bacon was a bit on the chewy side, but other than that, it was really good.
"I mean, I know I'm not the greatest cook, but I think I'm capable of making something edible," Ranboo replied.
"I don't think you're going to kill anyone with salmonella today, big man," Tommy retorted. Ranboo snickered.
"I certainly hope not. Killing someone would be bad."
Quackity nabbed a sandwich, as did Tubbo. Tubbo shoved the entire thing into his mouth.
"What is wrong with you," Quackity commented, staring at Tubbo like he'd just killed a man. Tubbo shrugged.
"I was hungry." He replied, crumbs falling out of his mouth. Quackity blinked.
"You are disgusting."
"I will fire you," Tubbo joked.
"Fire me and I'll just start a casino to run L'Manburg bankrupt," Quackity shot back.
"No. No. Nobody is getting fired!!" Fundy decided.
"Quackity. What if we team up to get rid of Fundy?" Tubbo suggested. A shit-eating grin spread across Quackity's face.
"Tubbo, my boy, I like how you think."
Fundy sighed.
"Why am I here?" He groaned.
"Free food?" Ranboo responded, offering him a sandwich. Fundy blinked.
"Fair enough." He took the sandwich and dug into it.
Tommy laughed. A full, genuine laugh- not one of the forced ones he'd always done in front of Dream, or the joyless ones he'd made when trauma dumping to Puffy.
When was the last time he'd laughed like this?
He'd been alone for so long, but people were finally starting to take notice of him and it was just so validating. Tubbo cared. He promised Tommy that he was safe, that he'd never get rid of him again, that it was a mistake the last time he did it.
"Uh… does anyone want some fruit salad?" Ranboo asked.
"Sure," Tubbo agreed, holding out his plate.
"Oh, so I have to serve you. I see how it is." Ranboo deadpanned, scooping fruit salad onto Tubbo's plate. "Down with the bourgeoisie."
"Maybe we should revolt. Overthrow our oppressors," Fundy chirped.
"I say that Tubbo could handle being knocked down a peg," Tommy input. All eyes were instantly on him.
He should've kept his mouth shut.
"Fuck yeah!! Tommy's on our side!!" Fundy declared.
"Therefore, we're right because you're outnumbered," Ranboo added.
"Yeah," Tommy agreed. He nervously glanced at Tubbo, who was smiling his face off.
Yeah. He made the right call.
It was funny, really, how everyone thought they knew what was best for Tommy. Unsurprisingly, though, the one person who always seemed to make the best calls was the person who knew him the best.
Puffy was right, probably. Maybe he did need to trust that the people who came in shouting "this is for your own good!!" were wrong.
But that decision was his to make, and wasn't that beautiful?