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Dear mom,
I’m sorry it took me so long to write back. Know that there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t thought about you, or at least a part of me did. I found myself wishing to have you close more than you can imagine. In the days I feel optimistic I still think there’s a future out there for us. Now I don’t know about a future, but I know we got a present to live in and I don’t want to waste the time we have, whatever that might be. In the letter you sent you told me you were getting better, and for that I am glad. For many years all I wanted was to see you happy, to please you, because I was scared that you would disappear like dad. Sometimes I think about you and him, I think about the time you must’ve been happy and I feel guilty for maybe ruining all of that. No child should feel that way, mom. But many times you’ve also made me feel grateful to be there with you, alive. You made me feel like a life with me was worth a shot. I’ve resented you for a long time, mom, but now I just want things to change. When I saw that box you sent me, I thought it was our last straw, that you were slipping away from me forever like dad did. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to be just a memory. It’s going to take time but I think we can make it. If I can then you can, mom, and one day we’ll be together again. I wish I could come visit you sooner, but visits are still not allowed where you are and I am leaving for college soon. Full scholarship for basketball at UConn if you can believe it. I also am in love with a wonderful woman and I wish you could meet her too one day. With this letter I am also sending you a box, you’ll find pieces of me inside, the person I’ve become, the daughter you missed. I look forward to seeing you when I’ll come back to Minnesota for Christmas. I think it’s about time we get to know each other again.
With love,
Toni