Chapter Text
There's nothing quite like finding an almost-naked woman in your office to get your blood pumping at 7:05 in the morning.
I did nothing but stare at her for a solid ten seconds, my hand falling limply from the door handle as my cheeks begun to burn. To be fair, she seemed equally shocked to see me, hurrying to grab the clothes that were draped over the back of my chair.
"Wh- Wha-" My first attempt to form any kind of sentence failed miserably. She begun to pull her blouse over her head, and I finally had the good sense to avert my eyes.
"I am so sorry," she said nervously, and I peeked back at her. All clothed. Thank goodness. "Marty said that no one would be in today until 8:00 A.M." I blinked.
"Marty-Marty said-" I stammered incredulously before finally finding my voice. "MARTY!" That imbecile.
"Kitten, kitten, calm down! I said I'd be back in a second!" That familiar voice dragged across my brain like nails on a chalkboard as Marty strolled into my office. He grinned shamelessly at the strange girl, and I had to fight every nerve in my brain that prepared me to strangle him. "Although I can't blame you for being eager. Oh, Sara, can you-" He paused for a moment, and I almost felt sorry for him as I watched the color drain from his face. "Oh, Sara!"
"Yeah, it's Sara!"
"Well, I- You- What are you doing here?"
"Oh, gee, what could I be doing in my own office?" I said with a roll of my eyes, setting my briefcase down on my desk with a dull "thud". Marty laughed sheepishly as he began to drag the girl out of the room.
"Oh, of course. Well, Marla and I were just leaving, right?" He turned to her with pleading eyes.
"No, Mindy will be leaving all by herself!" the woman announced dryly, her blonde curls bouncing as she stormed out of the office and onto the street outside. To my utmost relief, Marty rushed out after her. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding, pushing my curls out of my face. I still couldn't believe that Marty would do something like that. Well, it's not so much that he wouldn't want to, but I didn't think he'd actually have the guts to do it!
"Going to law school was a good idea. Going to law school was a good idea." I repeated this mantra to myself another couple of times before finally picking myself up off of the couch and sifting through the files in my briefcase. Another child support case. Not the best way to earn money, but at least I wouldn't feel like I had dirtied my soul somehow. The case seemed typical enough; poor single mom trying to raise her two kids, deadbeat dad not paying her a dime, I knew the drill. The trial was today and I was sure to win, but it wouldn't hurt if I polished up my statements. "Going to law school was a good idea," I stated firmly one final time before grabbing my paperwork and stepping out of my office.
To my surprise, and heartfelt sorrow, Marty was back in the office, leaning against Helen's desk and looking through some paperwork of his own. "I thought you were chasing after that poor woman," I pointed out coldly, sitting at the table in the center of our reception area. He shrugged.
"Not my style, kitten," he said. "Actually," - his shameless grin slipped back onto his face- "I really just wanted to watch her leave." I thought about it for a minute, then grimaced.
"You're disgusting, Marty."
"Ah, that's just not true."
"Yeah, Sara. Disgusting really doesn't cut it." I turned around in my chair with a grin as Dennis strolled into the office, pleased to be around another actual human being. Marty scowled and sat down in the chair to the left of me, careless tossing his papers onto the table. As Dennis wandered around the office and got himself situated, he turned back to me with a curious look. "Why are you here so early, anyways?"
"I wanted to get my work on the Richter case over with." I turned back to my work for a moment before spinning back around in my chair. "Why are you here early, Dennis? I think the last time you were early was your first day at the firm." He pushed my shoulder playfully, popping his briefcase open.
"I wanted to get a guy out of my house as soon as possible, so I just told him that my job started at 7:00." I nodded in approval; that's one of the more tame ways I've heard of for getting rid of unwanted men. Marty glanced up at him, opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Dennis rolled his eyes at him. "Alright, Marty, spit out your gay joke."
"No it's just- believe me, I would if I had thought of one- that works?"
"Since when do you use tactful methods of getting rid of dates?" Dennis retorted mockingly. "I always assumed you just pushed women out the front door after the sex ended."
"Well," I interjected before Marty could get another sleazy word in, "I found out that he actually does, and it ruined my whole day."
Dennis sat down in the seat to the right of me with huge pile of paperwork, his expression a mixture of sympathy and confusion.
"Well, sure, Sara, it's a pretty pathetic to do," Dennis said, patting my shoulder. "But I don't really think it qualifies as a day-ruining surprise. I mean, this is Marty we're talking about." I make no attempt to hide my laughter, and Marty's face twists back into a scowl .
"No, Dennis, I found out firsthand," I said in mock horror. "Imagine walking into your office and and seeing some girl that Marty's hooked up with sitting on your desk!"
"I don't have to imagine it, Sara," he replied, turning to glare at Marty. Marty just scoffed, not even bothering to look up.
"I said I was sorry."
"If you did, I couldn't make out anything while your tongue was down her throat!" Dennis shot back in annoyance. It was my turn to pat Dennis on the shoulder in sympathy.
"I'm still infuriated with you, you know," I said harshly, staring Marty down. "How could you have invaded my personal space like that? Go have sex in your own office!"
"Don't encourage him, Sara," Dennis piped up miserably. "Don't forget who he shares that office with."
"I'm sorry, Sara!" Marty exclaimed, completely ignoring Dennis. "She came over late, she came onto me fast, we just happened to stumble into your office! Believe me, the only person I want to have sex with in your office is-"
"Don't finish that sentence, Marty," I warned, and his mouth snapped shut. "I guess I'll let it go this time."
"You will?" Dennis asked incredulously.
"Why not? What am I supposed to do anyways, tell his mother?"
"Maybe his mother couldn't do anything, but the big man who runs this place could." Marty's head whipped back up from his work, and he stared at Dennis in horror.
"Now, Dennis, that's-" He turned his terrified gaze to me, forcing a sad excuse of a smile onto his face. "Sara, you don't- You wouldn't go that far, would you? Cooper doesn't need to find out about this little incident, does he?" I pretended to mull it over, my gaze following the bead of sweat that has begun to trail down Marty's forehead. Dennis chewed on the end of his pencil in anticipation, the corners of his mouth turning up into a satisfied grin. Unfortunately, he was going to be disappointed this time. Marty was one of the most insufferable people that this planet had ever had the displeasure of hosting, but even I didn't think he should get fired over something as stupid as this.
"I'll hold off on ruining your career," I said, quickly adding "For now!" after seeing the look of relief on his face. I couldn't let him get too comfortable. Marty now had a relatively good-natured air about him, but Dennis's face was twisted in exaggerated disappointment.
"Ah, kitten, you like me!"
"I've heard that's uncurable, Sara," Dennis quipped, his gaze flitting down to his work now that the opportunity to mess with Marty had passed.
"Don't insult me, Dennis," I said with a sigh, leaning back in my chair. All he offered me was a quick grin before he turned back to his innumerable files, while Marty didn't even dignify my comment with a response, his eyebrows raised as he scanned his current case. We managed to fall into a comfortable silence for an entire ten minutes, something I didn't think was possible in this office. It was inevitably broken, of course; Helen was already ranting as she swept into the building, Mr. Cooper trailing at her heels.
"-and he didn't think it fit to tell me about his second wife!"
"What's wrong, Helen?" I asked, concerned at how red her face had gotten.
"Men!" she exclaimed, sitting at her desk with a huff. Dennis and I could offer nothing but muttered words of agreement, and Marty could offer nothing at all, his eyes boring into the case file like it had just rejected him.
"Now, Helen, isn't that a bit of an exaggeration?" Cooper questioned, setting down his briefcase. "Just because you had one bad date doesn't mean you should indict all men! Why, just recently I met this nice young man who..." He faltered as she shot daggers at him with her eyes, and he gave up his futile advocacy for the male race to turn to the rest of us. "Get excited, all of you!"
"Already am, sir!" Marty exclaimed, finally looking up from his work to give Cooper his full attention, and the rest of us sighed wearily.
"You know, Marty," Dennis whispered, leaning towards him, "you suck up to that man so well it's making me look bad." Marty blanched, shoving a snickering Dennis away from him before turning back to our boss, all faux-cheer wiped from his expression.
"What should we be excited about, Mr. Cooper?" I asked, having no trouble finding a smile of my own as I watched Marty sulk in the corner of my eye.
"I've got two big cases, and I need some lawyers to hand them!" he said excitedly, holding up two thick case files. The three of us sitting at the table locked eyes in a tense unspoken standoff; each of us, even myself, embarrassingly, was itching to get our hands on a case that would make some real money. Helen's gaze flickered between us knowingly, taking a sip of her coffee in anticipation of the inevitable hell about to break lose.
Marty, of course, was the first to cut through the silence. "What...what are these cases?" he asked, his fingers already twitching in the direction of the closest case file.
"Two massive divorce cases," Cooper explained. "The first client looking to hire us is Ms. Courtney Stewart, the-"
"WHAT!?" Marty and Dennis yelled simultaneously, jumping up from the table so fast I got whiplash. They spun around to face each other, clearly thrilled, and I couldn't help but arch my eyebrows sharply. Something about that name had clearly brought them into what I had dubbed the "Realm of Lunacy", better understood as the short bursts of time that they actually seemed to be friends. That name did strike a note of familiarity within me, and I tilted my head as if I could somehow knock the information loose from some hidden recess of my mind. Luckily for me, I didn't have to try too hard before the two of them started jabbering.
"Up-and-coming model Courtney Stewart wants one of us as a lawyer?" Dennis squeaked out, his grin about to split his face in half.
"This is amazing," Marty said incredulously, now leaning against the table for support. "That woman is..." He trailed off with a hungry look in his eyes that made Helen and I share a look of exasperation.
"You're telling me! Have you seen the outfit she was wearing on the cover of the latest edition of Cosmo?"
"No, but I was quite a fan of her outfit on the cover of Playboy."
The two of them stared at each other for a moment, and I could tell that their moment of comradery was disappearing as quick as it had come. They slowly sunk back into their seats, each mumbling something about the "state of men, these days". Cooper looked between the two of them with a thoughtful expression before slapping the first case file down in front of them.
"Since this is such a big case, I want both of you to handle it!" he said with a tone of finality that frightened the color out of Dennis and Marty's faces. I glanced up at Mr. Cooper for a second before shooting the two men a look of concern. Marty and Dennis had not worked on a case together in the entire time they've been coworkers; to finally break that streak with such a high profile case didn't exactly strike me as a good idea. None of this seemed to register with Mr. Cooper, who handed me the second case file.
"I guess I'm covering the second divorce case, sir?" I asked, beginning to flip through the papers I was handed.
"Actually, I was hoping you and Ms. Dupree would handle this case together?" Cooper looked around for a moment, confused, before continuing, "Where is she, anyways?"
[INCOMPLETE (i just didn't want my draft to be deleted)]