Chapter Text
When Miyuki feels someone shaking him awake, his first thought is that he really, really hopes nothing terrible has happened. He hopes the only reason he’s being woken up is that he’s been asleep for too long, and no one made dinner. Or that Reon is feeling better, or even that Kenta needs him to do some obscure chore.
He opens his eyes, and the first thing he sees is Ryo with nothing but uncharacteristic concern written all across his face.
Miyuki doesn’t need to ask him what’s happened to know that something’s wrong, but he does anyway, pulling himself up into a sitting position.
“Reon-kun,” Ryo answers. “Reon-kun is hot… really hot. Burning up. Miyuki-kun can help him, right?”
There’s the slightest edge to his words, a hint of desperation that’s so unlike Ryo that Miyuki knows the situation is bad, even without having seen it. The panic he can feel bubbling up in his chest is starting to become familiar at this rate, which he despises. It’s like he’s a junior high student again.
Gathering himself mentally, he opens his mouth to ask Ryo if any of Reon’s symptoms have gotten worse, but before he can say a single word he’s interrupted by the all too familiar sound of gagging coming from outside the room. The “oh, shit” look on Ryo’s face about sums up how he feels, too.
Without a second to spare, he jolts up from the bed and rushes out into the hallway. It takes no more than five seconds to reach Reon’s room, the acrid smell of vomit hitting him instantly.
Reon, curled up into a ball on his bed, lets out a hoarse cry as he trembles. Miyuki quickly notices he’s been sick on himself and the bed, and when he presses a hand against Reon’s cheek, he knows Ryo was right; Reon’s fever has flared up tenfold.
“Reon-kun,” he says softly. “Can you hear me?”
Despite Reon’s eyes being squeezed shut, he jerks his head up and down in a nod.
“‘m sorry,” he croaks. “G-got nauseous… and my head hurts. Really… really bad.”
“It’s fine.” The words spill out of Miyuki’s mouth before he has a chance to think about it. “None of this is your fault. Just focus on getting better, okay? That’s what matters to me.”
It takes a moment to register that he said ‘to me’ instead of the intended ‘to all of us’.
Shit.
Reon blinks, and turns his head to stare at Miyuki with glassy amber eyes.
He screwed up… again. Why can’t he just be normal? Why does he keep on doing this, slipping out of his laid-back and nonchalant mask?
Numbly, he looks away from Reon.
“Your sheets need to go in the washing machine,” he continues, avoiding meeting Reon’s gaze. “And… you should take a shower. Does that sound okay?”
“…Okay.” Reon mumbles, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He rubs at his red eyes with a sniffle. “I’ll… go do that. Yeah.”
Wordlessly, Miyuki offers him a hand to help him up. After a brief pause, Reon takes it, his hand clammy to the touch. For a moment, he sways on his feet, but Miyuki wraps an arm around his shoulder to support him.
“Your hand is so warm, Miyuki-san,” Reon murmurs, a weak smile forming on his face. “It’s nice.”
Reon must be delirious at this point; he would never say something like that normally, especially not in such a warm voice.
…So why the hell is it making him blush?
Opting to remain silent, Miyuki walks him to the bathroom without replying. He helps Reon to sit down on the edge of the bathtub before backing away a few steps to rest his hand on the doorknob. “I’ll get you a change of clothes,” he offers awkwardly. Anything to get out of the room before he feels like he’s suffocating.
“Call me if you need anything.”
And just as he turns around to walk out of the room, there’s a tug at his shirt and a soft voice calling his name yet again.
“Miyuki-san,” Reon says, tightening his grip on Miyuki’s shirt. “D-don’t, um—please don’t… ngh.”
Miyuki doesn’t turn around. He keeps his hand planted on the doorknob, staring firmly at the differently colored hues of the wooden door.
“What is it?”
Reon doesn’t say anything for a moment. The two of them stand still, in silence, the loudest noise being the sound of Reon’s uneven breathing. It feels like an eternity is going by, until he speaks again, much quieter this time.
“I’m dizzy.”
That’s it. That’s all he says.
Fortunately, Miyuki has known Reon long enough to recognize those two words mean something else. Probably something he doesn’t want to say.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t actually get a chance to figure out that meaning before it’s solved for him—the grip Reon has on his shirt loosens as he collapses, hitting the tiled floor with a gasp of pain.
“Shit,” Miyuki sputters out.
And all at once, it’s obvious what Miyuki had missed.
…Why the hell is he worrying about himself at a time like this? When Reon needs him?
Smothering any sort of embarrassment, any possible trace of his discomfort, Miyuki turns around and bends down to help Reon back up. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I wasn’t thinking.”
Reon merely stares at him again. His glazed-over eyes, sickly complexion, disheveled hair… all of it together makes him look so frail. Once more, an odd tightness settles in his chest.
But he knows better than to leave Reon alone; he won’t leave Reon alone, not anymore. Especially not when he can’t even manage to stand up straight, let alone shower on his own. So with a deep breath, Miyuki smiles as comfortingly as he can.
“I’m still gonna grab you some clean clothes, okay? But I’ll be back in just a minute, so there’s nothing to worry about.” Tentatively, he reaches out to pat Reon on the head. Just like he’s always done, a calming motion he hopes will be soothing.
He shoots one last glance at Reon before leaving the bathroom to find a change of clothes, and winces at the violent shade of red Reon’s face has flared into.
His fever must be flaring up again.
-
Helping Reon in the shower is awkward—which he isn’t at all surprised by. Helping your crush wash themselves while they’re sick sounds like some sort of stupid shoujo manga trope. ‘I don’t need your help, this is too embarrassing~!!’, that sort of thing.
No, what really makes Miyuki feel awkward is Reon’s lack of reaction to the whole thing. Anyone who knows Reon is well aware of the fact that if he’s embarrassed, or being teased, or whatever it is, he’s the type to be vocal about it. Loudly.
Now, though, he’s completely silent. Aside from a single moan when Miyuki turned the hot water on, he had said nothing. He merely curled up into a ball on the stool in the shower and turned his gaze to the floor. Of course, at this point, it would feel even more awkward to try and start a conversation. So Miyuki doesn’t talk either, simply focusing on washing Reon’s hair. The scent of the shampoo is calming, a mix of lemon and lavender.
At the very least, Reon does seem to be much more relaxed. His shoulders loosen up as the water streams down his back, taking the suds of soap with it. Anyone would probably be relieved by showering after nearly two days of sickness-induced bedrest.
When he turns the water off and wraps a towel around Reon’s shoulders, he realizes rather abruptly that he had completely forgotten to replace the dirty bed sheets. Which… is a fairly big issue, considering Reon is swaying in place as though he’s about to fall asleep at any second.
“Hey,” he says softly, waving a hand in front of Reon’s face. “Reon-kun?”
Reon lets out a muted, non-committal noise. His eyes, half closed, begin to slip shut despite Miyuki trying to shake him as gently as possible.
It’s right as he’s getting ready to give up and let Reon conk out that the door opens and Ryo sticks his head in, much to Miyuki’s relief. The noise makes Reon stir, looking up with sleepy eyes.
“Miyuki-kun, is Reon-kun okay…?”
“Ah, Ryo-chin…! Actually, I need your help with something, if you don’t mind.”
“Mm~? What is it?”
Miyuki sets a hand on Reon’s shoulder to ensure he doesn’t fall over if he were to pass out and quickly explains the situation. Ryo tips his head to the side thoughtfully.
“Okay, um… I can go find Kenken and he can help me with that, I think. Kenken is like a mom, so he can definitely figure it out.”
“Er,” Miyuki says awkwardly. “If you don’t think you can do it, I can handle it and you can help Reon-kun get dressed.”
Of course, that option goes out the window immediately when Reon, barely awake, sighs softly and leans into Miyuki. Now it’s his turn to be red-faced.
It doesn’t help that Ryo’s begun to grin at the whole spectacle.
“Nah~” Ryo chirps. “I think Reon-kun really likes Miyuki-kun, so you should stick together. I’ll find Kenken, okay?”
What’s that supposed to mean?
His confusion must be showing on his face, because before Ryo turns around and closes the door again, he glances at Miyuki one last time.
“I think you should be more honest with yourself, Miyuki-kun. I’ll be cheering you on.”
And with a gentle smile, he closes the door, leaving behind a very uncertain Miyuki, and a now fully asleep Reon.
Reon-kun likes… huh?
Chewing on his bottom lip hesitatingly, Miyuki looks down at Reon and sighs.
“…Be honest with myself…”
“I don’t… y’know. Want to make him uncomfortable.”
“Avoiding you? Did you do something?”
“I think Reon-kun really likes Miyuki-kun,”
…What a joke.
At his core, Miyuki is a man used to rejection; the idea of hope is distasteful. Frightening, even.
And yet, as Reon sniffles in his sleep and turns his face to rest in the crook of Miyuki’s arm, he can’t help but feel like maybe he really has been missing something.
Like the rotten wound in his chest is beginning to heal.
-
Twenty minutes later, Reon is dressed in a clean pair of pajamas and back in bed, a fresh cooling pack on his forehead and a cold glass of water on the nightstand. Although his fever hasn’t gone down by much, his breathing is much more even and he’s stopped wheezing.
Any normal person in Miyuki’s position would probably take the time to relax at this point; Reon is sound asleep, his dirty clothes and bedding are in the washing machine, and oh, it’s nearly one in the fucking morning.
But Miyuki isn't a normal person.
He’s resolved to not leave Reon alone this time. No matter how much he’s improved, not until he’s recovered enough to actually take care of himself. It’s back to the silent vigil of sitting by his bedside.
Or, well… it's back to that after Miyuki gets something to eat. Sure, he’s perfectly willing to sacrifice his sleep. But he can’t just go throwing away every last asset of his health; it’s important to keep his energy up. Pulling his hair back into a messy ponytail, he stands up from his chair with a sigh and turns towards the door.
Except in that fleeting moment, it happens again.
“…wait…”
He’s tugged back as a hand latches onto his wrist and tightens.
“D… don’t go…”
Reon’s voice is small—it’s weak, and uncertain, and it trembles as he lifts his other arm to also grab at Miyuki’s wrist. His hands are rough, and cool to the touch.
“Reon-kun…?”
Miyuki turns around again, and completely freezes at the expression on Reon’s face.
His golden-colored eyes are wide open, staring up at Miyuki and full of tears threatening to spill over. The cooling pack has half slid off his forehead, but he seems to barely have noticed. Bottom lip quivering, he just says it again.
“Don’t go. P—please, Miyuki-san, don’t—“
Huh?
“I—I don’t—“ Reon chokes out. “—want to be alone.”
The first teardrop rolls down his cheek. And then the second, and the third. His body shakes as he lets out a muffled cry, ducking his head and tightening his grip around Miyuki’s wrist again.
Miyuki… doesn’t know what to do. He’s never seen Reon cry before. There’ve been times in the past he’s comforted crying girls, but this is something entirely different. This is Reon.
Reon, the person who’s been avoiding him like the plague for weeks. Who’s taken every opportunity to awkwardly slip out of conversations, who willingly walked through a literal typhoon just because he didn’t want to share Miyuki’s umbrella.
…Reon, who Miyuki can’t seem to fall out of love with no matter how hard he tries, is tearfully begging him to not leave him alone.
“I…”
“I think you should be more honest with yourself, Miyuki-kun.”
“…I’m not leaving.”
Reon stares up at him.
“I’ll be right by your side, Reon-kun. I’m not going anywhere.”
Slowly he moves forward, sitting down on the bed and taking hold of one of Reon’s hands when he lets go of his wrist. Miyuki squeezes his hand gently, and reaches forward to wipe his tears away.
Reon leans into his hand, closing his eyes and sniffling. Miyuki can’t stop himself from smiling at the sight of it.
“O—okay… th, thank you… ‘m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Miyuki says softly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “I’m not doing this out of obligation. I’m doing it because I care about you.”
“Me too,” Reon mumbles. “I care about you. A lot. I… really like you, Miyuki-san.”
…Eh?
“I was really stupid,” he continues. “Really stupid. I… should’ve been honest with you. A—about… um…”
Reon’s face is slowly turning red again. Yet this time, Miyuki knows it can’t be his fever. His fever has dropped too much. So…?
…His heart is beginning to pound. Geez, he really is weak, isn’t he…?
“I really…” Reon murmurs. “…like, mm… ‘Yuki-san… so…”
His eyes slip shut, and Miyuki feels his chest tighten. They’re still holding hands, fingers interlaced in a way that feels far too intimate for comfort. He can feel the frantic thump-thump-thump of his heart beginning to echo in his head.
Seriously… why does it feel like he’s suddenly been transported into a BL manga?
“…Mm… yu…”
Miyuki blinks at the exhausted mumble.
“Ah… Reon-kun?”
There’s no reply. Only soft, muffled snores.
He’s asleep.
Reon is asleep.
Honestly, Miyuki isn’t sure if he should be laughing or crying. There are a lot of realizations beginning to hit him, and he doesn’t really know if he wants to deal with the consequences of those at this particular moment. Or ever.
In what feels like less than a second, the adrenaline wears off and hours of exhaustion hit him like a brick. Heaving out a tired sigh, he collapses sideways onto the mattress, not quite realizing the circumstances of the position until he turns over and sees Reon’s face only a couple inches away from his own.
“Wh—!!”
Oh fuck oh shit what the hell did I just—fuck. God. Fuck.
And if there really is a god out there, then Miyuki is sure he’s being given the middle finger right about now. Because in the next split second, before he can get up and pretend absolutely nothing happened, Reon hums in his sleep and nuzzles forward into Miyuki’s chest comfortably.
“A…ah…?”
He feels almost dizzy, with the warmth of another body curled against him, and the smell of lavender and lemon, and the hand somehow still grasped in his despite it all.
…He… ‘really likes me’, huh…? He ‘really likes me a lot’… …Oh, Reon-kun…
In the darkness of Reon’s bedroom, the only noises being the humming of a box fan and quiet snores, at 1:04 am on Monday, Miyuki decides to give in.
So he wraps his other arm around Reon, closes his eyes, and wills himself to sleep. And as he drifts off, he murmurs his confession; properly, this time.
“I love you, Reon-kun.”
-
Miyuki doesn’t know how long he sleeps for. When he awakens, the room is full of soft light shining in from the gaps of the window the curtains don’t completely cover.
At some point, someone must’ve come in, because there’s now a blanket covering him. But the clock on the nightstand next to the bed faces his back, so there’s no way to look at it without disturbing the still-sleeping Reon.
Right. Reon.
Adjusting his position ever-so-slightly, Miyuki moves backward to get a better view of his face.
Though his cheeks are still somewhat flushed, Miyuki is close enough to know that he’s no longer radiating heat like he was when his fever was at its worst. His long eyelashes flutter as he breathes, and when Miyuki reaches a hand to press against his forehead, he squirms and whines quietly.
It doesn’t take long after that for him to slowly open his eyes, blinking as his gaze meets Miyuki’s.
“M-Miyu…eh? M… Miyuki-san?”
Miyuki smiles at him. This time, it doesn’t take any effort. It’s natural. And for the first time in a while… he can feel a warmth blooming in his chest again.
“G’morning, Reon-kun.”
He hesitates slightly before saying the next bit.
“How much… do you remember, from last night?”
Reon stares at him, face slowly turning redder and redder. It’s… almost impressive, how red his face is now, compared to when he was actually burning up from fever.
“I-I don’t… I’m sorry,” he stammers. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t wanna make things awkward, so I—I started avoiding you, but I…”
Miyuki stays quiet. Reon continues, sounding strained.
“I was an idiot,” he mutters. “I was just… upset. I was upset, because I was so certain you wouldn’t… care about me. In the way that I cared about you. O-or something.”
“Or… something?” Miyuki replies, raising an eyebrow. The younger man scrunches his face up, as if he’s had to eat something particularly sour.
“Aha… sorry. It’s just, you don’t normally trip up your words this m—“
“I like you!!” Reon blurts out. He flies upwards into a sitting position, glaring down at Miyuki. “I like you, I love you, because you’re kind, and handsome, and hardworking, and understanding, and—and I just—!! Miyuki-san doesn’t see me that way, I was positive, and—!!”
And before he can say another word, Miyuki closes the distance between them, wrapping a hand around Reon’s waist and rising up to kiss him. It’s brief, and it’s quick, but it gets the message across clearer than any words could. Reon’s expression of pure shock is telling him that much.
“You kissed me,” he says numbly. “You idiot.”
…Eh?
“I’m… huh?” Miyuki sputters.
“You idiot!!” Reon cries. “I’m still sick!! Y-you can’t just…!”
Reon stares at him, and he’s obviously embarrassed, but he also seems so positively affronted by the entire affair that Miyuki just can’t stop himself from launching into a fit of laughter. Reon swats him over the head for it, and it only makes him laugh harder.
“Y-you…” he wheezes. “You tell me you like me, so I kiss you, and that’s your reaction…?! Reon-kun, you… pfft…!!”
He just can’t stop laughing at how ridiculous this entire thing feels, how after all of his nonsensical pining, heartache and all, it’s ended up with this scene straight out of a romcom.
Ahh… seriously… I’m such an idiot, for sure.
Reon glares at him the whole time, cheeks puffed out in a grumpy pout. It’s adorable; Miyuki suppresses the urge to tug at his cheeks like people do with their dogs.
“It’s okay,” Miyuki says at last, after he’s finally stopped laughing. He smiles. “I love you too, Reon-kun.”
Reon lets out a little sigh at that, sounding relieved. He pushes himself forward, into Miyuki’s arms, and Miyuki hugs him tightly. Part of him wants to pinch himself, to see if maybe this is just a dream. Because surely… well, surely, this sort of happiness can’t be real. Not for someone like him, right?
But Reon sighs into his chest and takes hold of the back of Miyuki’s shirt, clinging to him with a surprising amount of force.
“Can we just stay like this for a little while,” he mumbles. “Please.”
…No, it doesn’t matter.
Right now, Miyuki is going to stay in this moment. Without doubt, without hesitance, without overthinking every little detail out of self-loathing.
He’s going to let himself be honest. Free the emotions he had caged deep within his heart.
“…Yeah,” Miyuki says softly. He raises a hand to Reon’s head, and begins to gently stroke his hair.
“For as long as you want.”