Chapter Text
Kiri grew up knowing she was adopted, the miraculous child of Grace Augustine’s avatar. A miracle from Eywa, Mom said. As a kid, it barely mattered, other than the fact that Neteyam was only two months older and loved to hang all that “wisdom” over her head. That was infuriating. But she knew her mom and dad loved her, the same as they loved any of her other siblings. The clan accepted her without question, loved her without a second thought.
Kiri knew that she was different, though. Different in the way she could stop and stare as the world around her for hours on end. How her thoughts ran away from her and suddenly she was staring at the face of her panicked father, hearing how she had disappeared for nearly half the day. When Dad took her hunting the first time and she made herself sick from sobbing at the death of the animal. Mom’s attempts to warm Kiri up to hunting failing at every turn, no matter how many spirit tales she or Grandmother told. The months of fighting at mealtimes after because Kiri refused to eat meat, no matter how sick it was making her or the long lectures Dad made her sit through with Norm and Max (that took a trip to the Tree of Souls to solve in the end, for Mama to tell Kiri that Eywa gave her blessing to eat the meat she needed to survive).
No one else ever had those problems. No one else refused to learn to become a hunter and threatened their ability to go through the clans Rites of Passage. No one else stood in front of an ikran with the fear that none would choose them because the ikran could sense that there was just something wrong. Not that anyone ever said those words to Kiri, but she felt it all the same.
The only person who seemed to halfway understand when she tried to explain was Spider.
“You know, if we just combined, we’d make a pretty decent Na’vi,” Spider would joke. Kiri just rolled her eyes at his jokes.
Spider didn’t make Kiri feel better about her own situation, at all, but he did help her feel a little less alone. Mom, though…
Well, Mom never liked Spider.
“I think some of the other girls are going swimming down at the river,” Mom would say when Kiri told her she was going to the human camp. “Why don’t you join them?”
“No, thanks.”
Or: “Spider probably has chores to do today.”
“Then Spider really needs me.”
As Kiri got older, Mom got bolder: “Don’t you think you’ve hung out with Spider a lot recently?”
“Nope.”
Then, the worst of times, “Perhaps Spider should spend the week at Hell’s Gate, with Norm. The scientists were talking about some new experiment they’re finally able to run.”
“I think he’d rather go foraging with me,” Kiri said, barely sparing Mom a glance as she rifled through their stores. She still hadn’t determined where she wanted to go the next day, maybe down to-
“Kiri.” And that was Mom’s “pay attention” voice. Kiri straightened, giving Mom her attention. “I don’t want you hanging out with Spider for a little bit.”
Kiri blinked. “No.”
Mom looked taken aback, “No?”
“You can’t just decide you don’t want me to hang out with my best friend for no reason!” Kiri exclaimed. “That’s ridiculous!”
“Kir-”
“No, let me speak!” Kiri had never felt anger like that before, coursing through her like a living thing. “You’re always like this about Spider. He already knows you don’t like him, do you have to shove it in his face every single day?”
“I just think-”
But Kiri had enough, storming out of the tent and narrowly missing running straight into Dad. She had been so angry and then, only days later, Quaritch took Spider. Kiri didn’t bother trying to convince Mom to go after him, but Dad didn’t entertain the idea for even a second.
“He’s a tough kid, Kiri.”
Yeah. A tough kid. A tough kid who now flinched every time someone came up behind him too quickly. Who squinted in the sunlight and rubbed his ears at loud noises. Who refused to tell his best friend and now sister what happened in those months.
“I’m fine, Kiri,” Spider would say, only for Kiri to later find him falling asleep into his dinner.
“There’s something wrong with Spider,” Kiri said to Lo’ak, during one of the multiple times Grandmother stole him away to put healing salves on his wounds that he still refused to talk about.
Lo’ak did not look very impressed. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Lo’ak-”
“Look, he was a prisoner of war for a good while there, I think he’s earned his secrets,” Lo’ak said. “Even from you.”
Kiri bristled. “This isn’t about that.”
“Sure, it isn’t.”
Lo’ak only got on board with her annoyance when the “secret” meetings started, but, even then, not to the extent she expected. The old Lo’ak would be hammering Spider for information, right alongside her, but now…He just seemed resigned. Like he didn’t think he deserved to know.
The frustration about the meetings was a poison for Kiri, forcing her out of the tent and away from the tight-lipped Spider for hours. Hours and hours until Dad came to find her.
“Hey, Dad-”
“Have you seen Lo’ak?” Dad rolled his lips together, eyes darting around like Lo’ak would miraculously appear.
Kiri nodded. “He was in the tent earli-”
“He’s not there now.”
Dad never interrupted her. “Well, have you asked Tuk?”
“She’s asleep. Alone.” Tuk always had trouble falling asleep alone, preferring to wait for the rest of the family to join her.
At first, Kiri wasn’t too concerned. Lo’ak had to be somewhere in the cave system. He wasn’t that dumb.
Except the lack of his communicator showed that, yes, Lo’ak was in fact that dumb, and it set into motion yet another midnight search for a Sully son.
“We better not be making this a habit,” Mom said, pointedly looking at each of her children. Even Spider had been woken up to help with the search.
“Am I ever going to live that down?” Spider muttered to Kiri under his breath.
But Kiri wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Spider said it himself – Lo’ak was annoyed about the meetings. Lo’ak went on walks like this to get out of his head. If they were back with the Metkayina, he would have left the reef to go hang out with Payakun. If Spider would just tell them what was going on-
“You know if I could tell you I would,” Spider continued, having deflated slightly when Kiri didn’t respond to his joke. “I really would.”
Kiri sighed. “I know.”
They set off into the forest in groups to look for Lo’ak, Kiri finding herself with Mom and Spider. It was dull work, walking into the trees and calling for her idiot brother. How would they even know-
Kiri stopped in her tracks, before taking a sharp right.
“Wha- Kiri?” She heard Spider behind her. She didn’t respond, just kept walking. “Hey! Wait up!”
Kiri kept walking, something inside pulling at her. She could hear Mom and Spider following, no longer calling Lo’ak’s name.
They came to a small clearing with a trickling stream. Here, something inside Kiri screamed. Here.
“He was here,” Kiri said. “I know he was.”
“He was taken.” Kiri looked to Mom, confused, and she solemnly pointed at deep impressions in the mud on the other side of the stream.
Spider was already on the other side, examining the tracks. “Boot marks. Avatar boot marks.”
Fuck.