Chapter Text
Steve?
Where are you?
-missed call from Eddie <3-
-missed call from Eddie <3-
Steve?
Can you pls answer?
Are you okay?
You aren’t in your dorm
I’m sorry
Well, I guess I am, I don’t fucking know what’s going on, Stevie
Where did you go?
Steve
???
Are you alive?
I’d be kinda bummed if u weren't
Scratch that, I’d be devastated, please let me know you’re actually alive and well
Please
Steve?
Kinda freaking out over here now
Jesus, Eddie, he’s alive, calm down will you?
Buckley?
Where’s Steve?
Why do have his phone?
He’s like in a bad place or whatever. Stop texting, I beg you, you’re killing him
Oh, I’m killing him? He’s the one ghosting me for no fucking reason
Bye, Eddie
Steve sat on the rooftop, hugging his legs tight. He’d thrown his phone at Robin and left, trying to survive the massive hangover and the even worse heartbreak. Breathing was hard, jumping was harder.
At least that was what he told himself. Aside from: Don’t be so fucking dramatic, Steve. You’ll live.
Well, about that last one he wasn’t so sure anymore. The wind was getting warmer these days, blowing gently through his hair, caressing his shoulders but it wasn’t comforting. It felt like sincerity right before the backstabbing that was bound to unfold.
He had cried a lot last night. Had spilled everything he had to get off his chest to Robin. And then they’d slept on a park bench. Like they’d done in high school. He’d woken up sore and sadder than before. It hadn’t even been worth it.
“What I’m hearing is that you didn’t even tell him. You just ran off”, Robin had mumbled.
“I don’t think there’s anything left to tell”, Steve had sighed in response. “He literally said ‘Steve, Steve, Steve, no’. How could I misread that?."
“Maybe he’s scared. Or he genuinely didn’t get what you were doing. Maybe he thought you were gonna do something gross like lick his ear or something."
“Why the fuck would I do that?"
“I don’t know, you’re weird."
“Am not."
“All I’m saying is that you should talk to him. For real this time. And if you cry, don’t worry about it. Guy’s a drug dealer, he’s seen worse."
So Steve had called himself an Uber to the trailer park, lingering in front of the door. It must’ve looked absolutely comedically, the way he continuously lifted and dropped his fist to knock (or rather not) on the door.
Eventually it opened without him doing anything. “Oh, hi Steve. I’ve heard you guys have betrayed me?” Wayne sounded bitter but there was a smirk forming on his lips.
“Oh, uh, I’m sorry.” Steve swallowed and received a pet to the shoulder. Wayne would’ve probably given his hair a ruffle if he hadn’t known the Holy Spirit behind Steve Harrington’s ego that was surrounding entirely his...well, hair. Or in other words: He’d seen Eddie make that mistake once and he wouldn’t be so foolish to repeat it himself. “If you’re looking for Eds, he’s not here. He’ll be back around seven."
“Where, uh, where is he?"
“He went to this flea market downtown. You know? On Main Street? Said he was looking for some old guitar picks or whatever. And a pipe for some reason."
Steve slowly nodded. “Okay, thanks Mr. Munson."
“If you call me that one more time I’ll ruffle your hair."
Steve gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t dare!” He watched Wayne shake his head, smiling.
“Well, then, maybe you can help him carry all the stuff he’s inevitably going to buy? If you find him, that is."
Steve nodded. “Will do. Bye...” A slight grin formed on his face. “...Mr. Munson.” And then he ran, listening to the faint ‘You’re an idiot, Steve!’ behind him.
He did not think this through. At all.
Main Street wasn’t usually an empty space. There was always a lot of traffic, people making their ways through the shops. But right now there wasn’t a single car in sight. Instead the concrete was filled (yes, filled) with people. A mass so gigantic Steve wouldn’t even know where to begin with counting.
Or as a regular thinking person would say: It was crowded as hell.
The road had been barricaded and people were walking around in groups, standing behind or in front of tiny tables, cluttered with literally anything. There was music playing through an old boom box, a smell of several kinds of food was in the air and laughter was to be heard. There wasn’t a single free spot on the street.
Steve stood behind the barricade, clawing the metal as he stared.
“That’s a lot of people”, he mumbled. “Like...a lot."
There was no way he was gonna spot Eddie from right here. He could stretch his neck as far as possible. It was all just too much. Too dense to see anything. Steve swallowed. Maybe he should go find Eddie another time. Or maybe he should just call him. But it felt like his matter wasn’t exactly the phone call kind of thing.
I can’t handle a rejection from a literal god. But if he had to Steve at least wanted to see his face one last time. He took a deep breath, then slipped past the barricade. There was almost immediately that disgusting feeling of skin on skin rushing through his body. All sorts of fabrics rubbing against his arms and legs as people rushed, no, jostled past him. For a few steps Steve just stared at the floor, at the other’s shoes. But that wouldn’t get him anywhere.
So he looked up. And that was even worse.
All he saw was faces. They didn’t care, they were happy to be here, happy to ignore him. And they weren’t Eddie. This was an unusual sensation and not the good kind. Steve couldn’t move, just let himself be shoved even further into the overly busy crowd. Its was getting harder to breath, everyone else was sucking the air from his lungs. Too stuffy to think straight.
Nope, this wasn’t going to work, he thought to himself as a wave of panic rushed over him. I’d like to move, please. He fumbled with his phone, elbows pressed tightly against his torso. He looked for Eddie’s contact, tapping the phone symbol on the top. He’d reached the middle of the street now, nowhere to go without brutally fighting his way through. And he wouldn’t be able to do so (read: he was stuck as fuck and couldn’t really breathe or think too well).
He felt the phone vibrate in his hand as it rang, desperately trying to reach Eddie through the maze of noises around them. Hastily he pressed it against his ear, holding himself up on some flagpole a seller had erected. It was shaking under his weight but it did the trick for now. For now.
“Steve?” he almost dropped his phones as the slightly distorted voice screeched into his ear. It was too sudden and also way to softly. He pressed his left hand onto his free ear, trying to drown out any other sound. It only half worked.
“Steve, are you...are you on the fucking market."
“Uh-huh”, was all Steve managed.
“Fuck, why would you come here? There’s thousands of - No forget that, where are you?"
“I’m...I don’t know.” And he really didn’t know. There were these all too familiar black splotches across his vision field, narrowing it down to a very small gap of people surrounding him. “I can’t see, Eddie."
“What, you can’t see? Come on, are you on the side of the street. Somewhere in front of a shop?"
“No.” He nodded to himself. “No, I’m not.” He felt his cheeks grown damp. Hastily he squeezed his eyes shut.
“Steve, are you still there?"
“Yes”, he whispered.
“What?” Steve waited a second to recollect himself. The panic rising in his throat didn’t help there.
“Eddie, I...I don’t...I can’t get out."
“Yeah, figured that big boy, but where are you?"
“I don’t fucking know, I can’t see much."
“But you can see a little?"
“Mhm."
“Come on, there has to be something! Is there maybe a stand close to you? Does it sell anything specific? Or...uh, oh, look around you, Stevie, can you see that red flag poking through?"
Steve followed Eddie’s instructions but no matter how hard he squinted he couldn’t see said flag. “No”, his voice broke. “No, I don’t see a flag, there isn’t a flag anywhere, Eddie! Fuck."
“What is it?"
“I...” He tried to take a deep breath but the people around him punched the air out of him. Carelessly, as if they didn’t even notice him. They probably didn’t. And if they did, well, he wasn’t their problem, was he? “I can’t breathe, please, I don’t...” He forgot where he was about to go with that sentence.
“Okay, Stevie, hold on, I think I have an idea where you are."
“Where are you? Can you come here?"
“Yes, I’ll come get you. Don’t move."
“I can’t move either way."
“Yes, I know, just wait for me, okay? Think of that. I’ll be there in no time if I’m right."
“What if you aren’t right?"
“Are you holding yourself up? You standing?"
“Yes"
“Okay, keep doing that, I know it’s hard, there’s a lot of people. Close your eyes, will you?"
“Uh-huh."
“I think I can see you."
“You can?"
“Yes, oh my god, that’s you. I’ll hang up, give me two second to get to you, okay?"
“Yeah."
And then he felt a hand on his back, another one in his hand, slowly loosening his grip around the pole. “Steve! Come on, you gotta let go."
“I can’t”, he whispered, eyes still squeezed shut. Eddie’s breath was on his neck. At least.
“We can’t get out of here if you don’t let go! You can hold my hand instead, okay?"
Steve nodded, trying to readjust himself, without falling. He clasped Eddie’s fingers, felt those rings and started turning them in an attempt to calm himself. It didn’t work however. Eddie was still behind him, his other hand smoothly caressing his back. “It’s okay, we gotta walk, Steve. Can you do that."
“Uh-huh”, he groaned. Steve felt himself being guided through the crowd like he was being pushed through a wave. Like Eddie was Moses and he was parting the sea of people to bring him to safety. A few warily steps later Steve could feel the curb beneath his feet but Eddie pushed him further and further. “You’re doing great, Steve, just a couple more steps."
And then he was lowered against a brick wall. He immediately slid to the floor, burying his face in his hands. The noise around them had been dimmed and it didn’t feel as overwhelming anymore. No smells, not too many sounds, no touching. “Steve can you look at me for a minute?"
And Steve did. Barely. He opened his eyes, expecting it to be too bright. But it wasn’t all he saw was Eddie, feeling his palms pressed lightly against his temples to block out the lights. “We’re not on Main Street anymore, it’s okay, there’s nobody around.” Steve nodded dumbfoundedly, staring into Eddie’s eyes for lack of a better thing to stare at. “Can I touch you like this, is that okay for you? I can let go if you want."
“No!”, Steve yelped out.
“Okay, there we go. Very good. Your breathing’s better now too but I’d appreciate it if you took another deep breath for me, that’d be marvelous."
“Yeah”, Steve mumbled and did that. Eddie seems pleased.
“Good, Stevie.” He slowly sank his hands from his face to his fingers so naturally Steve grabbed for the rings again. “What were you even doing here?"
“I was looking for you”, Steve breathed out (breathed out, mind you that, very nice, Steven). “Wayne said you’d be here."
“And you couldn’t wait? Or call me so I could get out of the crowd and instead you go in like a maniac?”, Eddie chuckled. Steve rolled his eyes.
“Robin said I should talk to you."
Eddie nodded slowly. “Where did you run off to? I was looking for you but you didn’t answer my texts or calls or anything and I didn’t get it because...I thought...I don’t know."
Steve swallowed.
“I was scared. And confused."
“Well, yeah and I was worried. And nobody would tell me anything. Did I do something? For real this time?"
Steve shook his head. “All on me, I just felt so stupid because obviously you didn’t like me like that and I just was too far gone to see the signs even if you told me like directly to my face that we’re friends and I respect that. I mean I can’t force you or anything and I don’t want to and I’m sorry I tried to - well, I should’ve just - I don’t know I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable and like...it’s probably not even real, like I don’t think I’m actually gay or maybe I am and just never knew and you woke that up inside me or whatever and now I can like live on with that knowledge so that’s great and -"
“Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, please, stop talking, I don’t quite follow."
Steve frowned. “What do you mean? I...I thought you knew..."
“Knew what?"
“The whole 'stupid straight guy fell for your theatrics’ storyline."
Eddie stared at him. “What?”, he whispered.
“I thought that was fairly obvious. I don’t think I ever really was in love until now so...maybe girls just never did it for me or whatever.” He tried a little smile. Hoping it didn’t look to pained, though he probably failed there. “I’m sorry, I’m kinda ruining everything but we can stay friends and all. I’d be happy with that.” Eddie continued to stare.
And then: “You’re in love with me?” It was so quiet that Steve had to really concentrate not to miss it.
“Well” He shrugged. “Yeah. Since like...forever"
Eddie looked like a kicked puppy and Steve didn’t like that. “Eddie?” Nothing. “Eds?” Silence. “Can you please say something?"
And then, slowly, manically slowly, a smile widened. Steve, in the meantime, died a million deaths.
“Are you for real?"
Steve frowned. “Of course. You’re like the best person to exist on this planet...Don’t tell Rob I said that."
Eddie looked at his hands against Steve’s knees, fingers intertwined and played with. The smile didn’t vanish. “Guess I’m more oblivious than I thought”, he mumbled.
“What?"
Eddie looked up again. “Nothing.” He smirked. “It’s just that I’m kinda hopelessly in love with you too. Since like...forever.” A rush of feelings took ahold of Steve’s body so fast that he couldn’t help but shudder. Eddie chuckled. “God, we really are stupid”, he breathed.
Steve nodded frantically. “Yep, yes, we are, so stupid.” And with that he wriggled his right hand free from Eddie’s fingers to pull him in by the neck.
The fireworks were more brutal than they’d ever been before. Now that it was free. Now that it was real. For the both of them. Eddie’s lips feeling like the long lost home he’d been searching for. And it didn’t matter that it was on the dirty concrete of a side street in Hawkins, Indiana. All that mattered was that it was them. Outside of the act. Breaking the study.
Breaking the study in acting love. Because why would you act if you could have reality?
“And you’re sure that you wanna go?"
“Well, I wanna watch. Not go. That’s a difference."
“But you still wanna be there?"
“Yes!"
“You won’t freak out?"
“No!"
“Promise?"
“Absolutely not."
Eddie rolled his eyes. “How about this. I book us a table at a balcony in that one café on Main Street and we’ll watch from up there?"
“See, that’s why you’re the smart one in this relationship."
“Oh fuck off."
“I love you too, Eds."
The pride parade was two days away. And it would be Steve’s first. Sure, he’d seen pictures. Robin had showed him everything. But he’d never lived through it on his own. For reasons of course but none that he couldn’t outsmart.
So that was why they found themselves standing on a tiny balcony above the masses walking through the streets, music blasting through speakers and people proudly waving their rainbow flags. It felt great. And it felt even greater with a his boyfriend by his side.
He turned to Eddie, who smiled down at the crowd, clutching the railing. “Eds?"
“Yeah?"
“Can you promise me not to freak out?"
“Uh...why?"
“Well, because I got you a little something.” Eddie’s eyes widened in response. Steve hastily pressed his flat palm against his chest. “No, no, no, don’t worry, I didn’t wrap it or shit like that it’s just in my pocket, it’s not a gift. It’s mine, I’ll just lend it to you, okay?"
Eddie exhaled sharply. “Steve! Why the fuck would you -“ Steve pulled out a pair of glasses from the chest pocket of his shirt. “You want me to wear your glasses?”, Eddie asked weakly and also highly confused.
“Well, I’d appreciate it if you tried them on.” Steve winked. “I mean, I’m not sure if they’ll work for your kind of...uh, well just put them on and you’ll see."
Eddie frowned as he took the glasses from Steve and slid the, onto his face. And then he didn’t move anymore. Steve watched him, holding his breath as Eddie stared at him for god knows how long. “So...?”, Steve asked carefully, trying to hide his excitement, since his plan had clearly worked. At least somehow.
“Uh”, Eddie grunted out absentmindedly, his head slowly turning to the parade below them. His eyes were wide but not in fear anymore. In shock. But not the bad kind. “What...” His breath hitched a little. And his lower lip shook heavily. He turned back to face Steve.
“I think they look good on you”, Steve smiled.
“Your eyes are beautiful”, Eddie whispered.
“What?” Steve couldn’t stop his grin.
“How...?” Eddie blinked a few times.
“I found those online. They had some good reviews and...you know the irony of being gay and not being able to see a rainbow when there is one? Couldn’t have that anymore."
“It’s...” Eddie reached for the glasses, took them off, blinked again and put them back on. “It’s so...much."
Steve nodded. “Yeah, the description advised not to wear them like constantly and only for short periods of time but...” He was shut up by Eddie’s lips on his.
“This is the best thing anyone will ever give me in my entire life”, Eddie mumbled, not letting go of Steve.
“What about my love for you?"
“Sap” Eddie pushed him slightly as Steve chuckled.
“Seems like Artemis isn’t so unfitting after all.” He looked into Eddie’s eyes, framed by the color blind glasses, he’d just put there himself. “Goddess of the hunt and so on...You’ve made quite the catch with me didn’t you?"
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, maybe”, he grinned back. “Maybe it all makes sense in the end, Steven."
“Jonathan called dips on Steven!”