Chapter Text
chapter 23
the first experiment
Erwin is a fucking genius.
It was days after keeping the castle spotless and hours dedicated to doing patrols around the area that Maeve received a letter from a familiar falcon pecking at her window. She skimmed her eyes over the neat penmanship, only stopping when she read the words that he was about to place certain people in the Survey Corps and that they should be under close surveillance at all times. It bubbled manic laughter right in Maeve’s chest.
Pull your enemies closer , was the fitting saying for what Erwin was planning.
Maeve read the names of the recruits. Some of them could be the Armored and Colossal Titans. She placed the letter aside and started sifting through the profiles that were delivered just yesterday by a messenger Scout. She cracked her knuckles and stretched her back by reaching as high as she could over her head. Now that everything was loosened, Maeve started to work.
It would take her until daybreak to finish but once she found the pieces holding everything together, she would be one of those who would have the first and last laugh once the fucking pests were captured and unearthed. It would just be a matter of time.
The golden hour bathed Aurora as she swerved another kick coming from her regular opponent. Blooming hues of deeper yellow colored her skin and the cuts on her cheek and arms that revealed the godly ichor of her veins were plastered using bandages. It had been this way since she was brought to the old headquarters — her being pulled to the courtyard by Beah and Samantha and was then pulverized by Maeve with hand-to-hand combat training. It was baffling, to say the least, seeing as they were preparing for an expedition against Titans , not humans. Nonetheless, she gained a lot of newfound knowledge about maintaining her core when spinning to give someone a kick (during her successful move, Kallos had to duck down a little so, it resulted in him kneeling in front of the girl and the others howling in laughter) or about making herself look unpredictable to the opponent despite having a plan in mind. She also couldn’t forget that the first tip Maeve told her was to think like the enemy, whether it be humanoid monsters or devils in disguise. Aurora had to process that because those are what Maeve told her, word for word.
Aurora was fast but Maeve moved like a monster, always spotting the girl’s blind side and making her meet the ground with unceremonious thuds, both of which made the Captain’s squad wince at the sidelines.
So far, Aurora only had one win against the woman but that was because she was caught off guard when Levi called for her as the man came back from his daily patrol with Eren and some of his squad members. After sending a mental apology to her aunt, Aurora slid her leg to trip Maeve, consequently restraining her on the ground. The Vanguard squad whooped with joviality; even Agnes was wearing a large grin for once. Of course, she felt remorse for doing the one thing she shouldn’t have done — attack someone when they were still vulnerable and her body possessing so many openings — until she saw Maeve’s smile, the woman’s laugh filled with pride despite her pathetic position during the end of the nth spar. It made Aurora glow — a luminary among pinpricks of satellites circling her around.
At the moment, all the onlookers could see were blurs of red and blinding skin trying to see which one could outsmart and beat the other. The only person who was free enough to watch was Kallos, Samantha was long gone toward the infirmary because moments before, golden blood dripped on the soil, so much so that she nearly fainted. Aurora might have less experience fighting someone compared to her aunt but through the many training spars she received from the woman, it was safe to say that she was improving and growing compared to the girl who placed second in the South’s 104th Training Corps.
“That was great, Aurora,” Maeve complimented her as soon as they called it a day. She patted the girl’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. “Your movements are more precise now and you can even fool me at times. Great job.”
“Thank you,” Aurora whispered. She was still not used to calling her aunt out loud. It was best to remain that title in her thoughts for now. She was afraid that she might show a grimace when using the term and most likely offend the woman in the process.
Kallos handed both of them some clean towels and pouches of fresh water from the pumps. While Maeve was wiping her sweat, Aurora tried to control her breathing. Her heart was still racing in her chest and the more she took faster breaths, the more her bruises ached. She could tell that her muscles were becoming sorer each passing day, some areas pinching in pain more than others. Aurora placed both of her hands on her hips, looking at the dimming sky and letting her sweat drip down for a moment since it was too taxing to use any of her limbs at the moment. Even with a tight binding bra for her top, she found the air quite stifling. She was too sticky with sweat and too grimy from all the rolling on the ground that she did, longing for the luxury that baths could give to one individual. She always wanted to try that shampoo Maeve gave her. It smelled too much of the delectable confections only found in Sina — sweet and lingering in the senses.
“You’re improving, Briar Rose,” Kallos chimed from beside her. He took a glance at the unattended water pouch on the fence. “Are you sure you’re not going to drink that? I think you need it.”
“Everything aches when I move,” Aurora breathed.
“Do you want me to help you drink from the pouch—? Ow! What the hell?!”
Maeve was narrowing her eyes at the young man.
“Captain!” The shout was both a whine and a trembling realization that he just cursed at the higher-up.
The woman kept her eagle-eyed gaze on him. “Aurora can drink the water by herself.”
Kallos rubbed the back of his head. “Whatever you’re thinking, Captain, it’s not like that. I was merely trying to help Briar Rose since it’s pretty much obvious that she’s trembling like a newborn fawn.”
Maeve’s eyes darted at something behind the two younger soldiers. “I believe she doesn’t need it because her friends are coming this way. I trust one of them to aid her.”
At the word friends , Aurora ignored her crying body and swiveled in the direction where Maeve was staring. A tiny gasp clogged her throat, eyes glazed with the overwhelming rush of yearning for their little four-star constellation to be complete again.
“Miki, Armin,” was all she could say when a black-haired girl dashed to wrap her in everything that entailed home.
She could faintly hear a noise of protest from behind her but it gradually became quieter, probably from a concerned Kallos and a wistful Maeve giving them the privacy they needed by dragging the young man to perform cleaning duties for the rest of the day. Aurora bit her lip to keep her from crying out in pain and savored Mikasa’s hug. She perfectly received the wordless message through it — the relief that she was well after the trial, the melancholy blue that ensconced the giver of the hug when they were apart, the hope that they would be reunited after days, and the longing that transcended that of any kind of love. Mikasa hugged her like she was her lifeline, her reason for living, and the purpose for her survival. Wet spots spread on Aurora’s shoulder. The girl woefully smiled when her moon silently cried. It was a rare phenomenon, but when the moon cried for her summer child who ate the sun, the stars shifted. All Aurora could do was pull Mikasa closer to her person, letting the other feel the calm beating of her heart.
“I’m here, Miki, I’m here,” she repeated like a mantra.
Mikasa pulled away but remained in proximity where she could examine Aurora from head to toe. “Are you hurt? Did they perform experiments on you like what they’re planning on doing to Eren? I asked him if they have any plans concerning you but he told me nothing of importance.” A gasp. “Or was it mental or emotional experiments? That shorty will have to pay—”
“I’m fine!” Aurora interjected. “They didn’t perform any experiments on me. If there will come a time that they do, you’re the first person to know. Promise.” Aurora covered Mikasa’s hand with her own and placed it over her heart. That way, it was sealed. She smiled when Mikasa’s shoulders loosened their tautness. She happened to meet Eren’s eyes over Mikasa and the boy dared to wordlessly say ‘ see, she’ll be on Levi’s ass now’ with raised eyebrows and a smug face. Aurora figured that he felt like he won a contest of strengths now that he wasn’t the center of Mikasa’s concerns this time. Like that was something to feel happy about. Aurora rolled her eyes at him — typical Eren and his stubbornness.
“Okay, that’s good to know,” Mikasa replied. Her eyebrows furrowed the more she stared at Aurora. “Ro, where did you get these bandages?”
“Oh? From the infirmary.”
Mikasa lightly knocked her fist against Aurora’s head. The former’s lips quivered when the latter burst into a fit of giggles. “I mean, where did you get the injuries that these bandages are covering?” The onyx-haired girl poked a particular spot on Aurora’s arm, Mikasa only flinching when Aurora deeply inhaled at the surge of pain traveling through her entire arm. Her expression soured in realization. “Are they torturing you?”
“What? No!”
“You look like they’ve beaten you!”
“Not exactly,” Aurora murmured.
Mikasa’s jaw clenched. “That fucking midget.”
“Captain Levi?”
Gray eyes cut through Aurora. “Who else would I be talking about? Eren answered something like that earlier, too.”
Aurora tried for a smile but all it looked like was she was in much more pain than she was experiencing. “He did?” A lighthearted laugh poured from her lips. Eren was right — Mikasa would carry the nasty first impression Levi left behind when he pulverized Eren in front of hundreds of power-hungry (some more cowardly than others) people. “But seriously, Miki,” she placed a hand on Mikasa’s upper arm, “Captain Levi didn’t do anything. I was training in hand-to-hand combat with Captain Maeve’s squad. It was recommended for me to do so.”
“Oh.”
The scarlet-haired girl reached up to pat Mikasa’s head. “You have nothing to worry about. This is for my own good anyway.”
Mikasa nodded a little, her expression not quite showing that she was on board with everything that surrounded her best friends and the people she deeply cared about. Eren didn’t like it when he was shown too much concern and Aurora appreciated her sentiments but most of the time, she said one thing but felt another. Mikasa was no stranger to the way Aurora winced every other second. It made her stomach bubble with guilt for getting too caught up in her emotions when she saw her in the training field. So, she would refrain from being too hovering around her friends. At least she would try to do so. This was what occupied her mind even when Aurora attempted on hugging Armin, though it was short of the tightness of the hug Mikasa gave her.
“Armin,” Aurora breathed on his shoulder.
Armin, whose voice became wobbly at the little acts of affection, replied, “I was so worried. We didn’t get the chance to say anything before you got whisked away by the Garrison higher-ups.”
The grip Armin had around her was loose yet it was almost like he didn’t want to detach from her. Aurora was so overwhelmed by seeing Armin as part of the Survey Corps and him being unharmed that she buried her face in the crook of his neck.
“We’re all together now,” she told him, hoping that it would reach Armin and stop his perturbation. Thinking that this would probably lead to Armin full-on crying in the training field, Aurora thought of the best way to comfort him. “Armin!” She called even if he was standing right in front of her. She placed both of her palms on his cheeks, pressing on his face until Armin looked squished. “There’s a library here! I helped clean it yesterday. Though it was mostly filled with outdated pieces of literature, I’m sure we can find anything worth reading there.”
Armin blinked and sniffled. His eyes gained that fondness he always carried around her. “Really?”
The girl nodded. “Captain Levi let me borrow some books after checking the cleaning that we did there. I’ll share them with you later.”
Armin couldn’t help but giggle. Aurora truly had a way with people. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Okay, okay!” Eren interjected. Mikasa gave him a glare for ruining a moment that she was staring wistfully at. He brushed it off. “It’s nearing dinnertime and I don’t want to eat scraps now that the others are here, especially Sasha.”
Aurora raised her eyebrows at that. The others, which meant that most of their classmates chose the Survey Corps. It made her backtrack a whole lot. Didn’t they ridicule Eren for choosing to pledge loyalty to the Scouts back in the Training Corps? Not to mention, he was nicknamed something that didn’t right with Aurora at all — suicidal bastard . It always left a bad taste in her mouth whenever someone talked shit about Eren and she happened to overhear it. It was puzzling how the need to survive could affect so many of one's decisions; because people she didn’t even associate with expeditions and carnage were found to be stumbling around here and could be one of her future roommates. (Mikasa was a sure person she would share a room with.) Whatever the dynamic this would result in, she wouldn’t dare ponder on it for now.
“O-Oh, yeah,” Armin answered Eren. “We should head to the Mess Hall, then.”
Mikasa sighed. “Let’s go.”
While walking, Aurora felt a weight blanketing her. She looked to the side, confirming who draped their arm around her shoulders and there was Eren, nonchalantly staring at the front. She let him be and followed Mikasa and Armin into the Mess Hall.
Dinner was a war field.
The Mess Hall was colored with so many voices now that the rest of the Survey Corps transferred to the secluded location, bringing along young recruits in their midst. As to why dinner nearly became a bloodbath, it was because a brown-haired girl tried getting more portions than what she was given. Chairs were strewn around a specific area of the Mess Hall, soldiers gawking at the spectacle, and pleads were thrown among the chaos. A lot of her friends tried to apologize for what she did and in the end, someone had to offer his portion of dinner to end any disturbances. It was understandable — how the brunette acted upon seeing the steaming pot of stewed meat and vegetables. The Training Corps didn’t spare a single dime to lavish the trainees. At least, in the Survey Corps, even with them being the less financially stable regiment, they had the heart to give the cadets a proper welcome. The brunette, Sasha Braus, was just acting as a starving person would.
There was no denying that Aurora was curious about the girl. Her golden eyes flickered over at her every once in a while. Sometimes, her eyebrow would twitch when a loud noise overpowered the comfortable timber of chatters sprinkling the Mess Hall. Despite the curiosity, Aurora remained seated, both away from the rest and within the crux she always felt at home with.
However, for the eyes of most of the Training Corps, Aurora was someone leagues beyond anyone else.
With the constellations on her cheeks and tendrils of the sun for her hair, many were set on unfolding the enigma that was named after her. Almost every night in the Training Corps, the walls of the dormitories heard the hushed conversations of how Aurora had Eren as her beau or how she used her charm on the instructors to give her one of the top places in the entire batch. Of course, those speculations about her were thrown in the dirt after she was seen hugging Armin the same way she would Eren and when she managed to bring down a boy twice her size (Reiner never once flirted with her ever again). Nonetheless, the fascination with her never ceased. It was seen in the subtle glances, the out-of-the-blue greetings, lingering presences, and compliments that had her glowing. The only time they saw her truly grin was when she was with her friends. The surroundings glowed when she did so. They couldn’t keep their eyes off her. People thought she was the most interesting thing to happen in their lives.
Sasha was one of them.
The day Aurora offered Sasha a portion of Mikasa’s food was the day the latter swore she was going to go against the laws mandated by the church and marry the former right then and there. What was with pretty girls and offering their food to her? She may never know. (She didn’t bother knowing because she had fewer brain cells than her peers (but never Connie) and as long as she accepted morsels to put in her mouth, she was fine.) First, it was Christa and then, it was Aurora. It was quite funny that both of these girls had someone hovering over their shoulders, not to mention that the redhead had multiple people doing that for her (both of them being frightening with those soulless eyes, too).
Being raised by hunters and as a hunter herself, Sasha knew the mannerisms a person had. Her eyes were sharper than anyone else’s.
Connie picked on his nose when he was too bored. Jean sneered every time someone would waste their energy to have a spat with him. Eren’s eyes would gravitate to Aurora for whatever reason that Sasha always snickered at. Mikasa played with the little daisy embroidered on the end of her scarf, mindlessly smiling at a memory that only she could see. Armin’s eyes never failed to light up when someone engaged him in a meaningful conversation that could go on for hours and hours if they had the energy. Sasha wouldn’t dare mention the people they lost. It was too early to cry anyway. She would think about them when the moon was too high and the sky cloudless enough to reveal the stars.
Aurora … was just too unreadable for Sasha’s brain to nitpick.
Everyone was an open book except for her.
Everyone’s stories were all laid out during late-night conversations but Aurora’s was a mystery. The most Sasha could get about her was when Eren and Armin would talk about their childhood in full detail, with Mikasa scolding them for being too enthusiastic about someone’s tale, which wasn’t theirs to tell, and Aurora would reassure her it was fine.
So, imagine how awkward it was for the brown-haired girl to open the door to her new room and see Aurora pulling down her nightwear over her body. Sasha felt like her entire face was on fire, especially with the way Aurora looked over at her in surprise.
“I’m sorry!” Sasha sputtered. “I didn’t know you were changing, Angel!”
Aurora paused for a moment, running her hands over her nightdress, paying close attention to the creases on the skirt. “It’s okay, Sasha.”
The Aurora Sasha caught a glimpse of during the times they got partnered for hand-to-hand combat and when they shared a table at dinnertime was nowhere to be found. In place of her was this closed-off mirror image who shied away at every chance someone wanted to understand her. She was still the same girl that Sasha saw before the attack on Trost, worrying over her friends and being brave enough to stand among the respected soldiers of the Garrison. After her trial, something wasn’t the same again.
Sasha’s voice was tentative as she asked, “Angel, are you alright?”
She might not be that close to the girl (only speaking to her when the time was right) but she couldn’t help but feel the need to check up on her. Sasha had always been a lover of Aurora’s eyes. They were too precious, too blinding, and beautiful to simply offer a glance at. When she got a chance to admire them, Sasha would make sure to give them every ounce of her attention. Now, those golden eyes she loved the most about Aurora looked anywhere but her. What she also liked about Aurora was her ability to listen, which was why Armin was always seen talking to her and her alone — Eren had this one-track mind of fulfilling his dreams and Mikasa was too intent on keeping Eren in line. Aurora had always been a little closed-off yet she still had the basic human decency to look someone in the eye when they were talking.
What happened in the trial that had Aurora shutting the doors in Sasha’s face?
The scarlet-haired girl busied herself by sliding her hand over her blanket, smoothening any crinkles on the piece of linen. “Yes. I’m just tired from all the training, that’s all.”
Sasha slowly nodded. That explained it. Aurora was moving more sluggishly for an early hour in the evening.
As Aurora continued tidying up her space, Sasha couldn’t help but feel like she wasn’t welcomed there. She remained standing right by the entrance even when the redhead settled under her covers and took out a book from the bedside table; a dusty old thing that might have belonged in a time capsule somewhere. Sasha was fidgeting more than usual, not knowing what to do the more seconds ticked in the pocket watch on one of the beds. She couldn’t even pick out the reason why she felt the need to be nervous around a girl that she had no problems talking with. Did she unknowingly do something that could have set Aurora off? If so, what was it? It wasn’t helping that Sasha knew she sometimes crossed an invisible line with her rambunctious countryside behavior.
It just so happened that when Sasha was trying to peek at Aurora from behind her fringe, the latter raised her eyes to her figure.
“I’m sorry for the stand-offish behavior, Sasha,” Aurora smiled but it was more like a grimace. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Sasha brightened. So, her angel was still lingering there after all. She bounded to the only unoccupied bed in the room and plopped down on the mattress. Surprisingly, it was softer than the ones at the Training Corps. Those nearly broke her back. At least, for the ones in the Survey Corps, she could do a little bouncing when she got the chance. Sasha squeezed the edge of the mattress before laughing a little. “It’s fine,” she practically sang the words. This was the perfect opportunity for her to ask what was troubling Aurora; but, she held the thought. Instead, Sasha looked around. She didn’t want to risk another stifling atmosphere. “Where’s Mikasa?”
Aurora went back to reading but she still answered, “She went to take a bath.”
The brunette nodded. “Can you believe that the food here actually has meat in it? Just thinking about it is making me drool.”
“Hopefully our food can stay that way.”
“You don’t think so?”
Aurora flipped a page. “The regiment’s budget is going to be depleted if we keep buying meat for our meals. An expedition is coming up.”
“But we can hunt! There’s a wide range of resources around us!”
The girl blinked. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“See!” Sasha cheered. “I proposed that to Jean and all he told me was to get my mind off the gutter. The audacity of that guy.”
She took a peek at Aurora after mentioning Jean.
It wasn’t a secret to everyone that Jean had a penchant for pretty girls who wouldn’t give him the time of the day. Sometimes, Sasha found herself questioning whether he was right in the head for confusing his feelings, something about liking more than one girl at the same time. But the longer Sasha understood Jean as his friend, she could tell that what he felt for Aurora ran deeper than the typical puppy love he thought it was. She teased him for having this dream girl who resembled Mikasa but when he told her that Aurora replaced the image of love for him that time he saw her in someone’s window, Sasha completely stopped throwing remarks at him. It was kind of annoying listening to him ramble about a different girl who gave him the woes but his monologues carried Aurora’s name more than anyone else. So, Sasha wanted to check if Jean’s name would elicit such a reaction from her.
(She already did it with Mikasa and the girl only scoffed in disgust.)
“Don’t listen to him,” Aurora replied.
Well, good luck to Jean in his potential heartbreak. As long as Eren and Mikasa were alive, he didn’t stand a chance. Oh, well.
“If our schedules offer a good span for recreational activities, you can hunt in the woods,” the redhead continued. “I’d cover for you.”
Sasha opened her mouth to invite her but she hesitated. She didn’t want to force a friendship yet, especially when Aurora didn’t show any openings for them to have a moment together. This acquaintance was enough for now. Sasha would have to wait for Aurora to slowly open up to her. It sounded exciting, now that she thought about it. Aurora was already a kind person and having her as a friend would be revolutionary, at least for Sasha.
She saw Aurora yawn.
“Are you sleepy?” she asked.
Aurora slowly blinked. “Yeah.”
The sight of the redhead being drowsy made Sasha smile. It was endearing. “Good night, Angel.”
Aurora gingerly placed the book she was reading on the bedside table. Her lamp made the moonlight shine inside the dim room. She made herself comfortable on her bed, facing Sasha with a small smile, “Good night, Sasha. Don’t stay up too late or sneak out for midnight snacks.”
“Hey! I don’t do that.”
“The creaking of the door in our previous dormitory and your empty bed said it all.”
Sasha’s voice dropped, “You … knew all along?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Aw, man.”
Aurora giggled. Giggled . It was a pretty sound. “Captain Levi wouldn’t like it if you do.”
Sasha puffed her chest. “He won’t stop me. What is he going to do? Kick me?”
“Something like that. Eren would be the perfect person to tell you that story.”
“What?”
Silence answered Sasha’s rhetorical question. Aurora now slept with both hands under her cheek, her body still facing Sasha. Serene was her color. If Aurora was beautiful when she was awake, her peaceful visage when slumbering was otherworldly. Maybe she wasn’t human after all. Sasha found herself staring at the girl while her body slowly rose and fell in gentle breaths.
“Man, Eren sure is lucky,” she murmured.
“Why is Eren lucky?”
Sasha felt her heart collapse. Right by the entrance was Mikasa, fully showered and dressed in her nightwear, with her short hair slightly dripping on the towel around her shoulders. Her half-lidded eyes made Sasha feel that she did something wrong; it was so blank. The only emotion on her face was the imperceptible rise in her eyebrow.
“Nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing if it concerns Eren.”
Of course.
“Really, it’s nothing,” Sasha pressed.
Mikasa narrowed her eyes before flickering them to Aurora. Her stony facade crumbled a little. She padded to where the girl was sleeping and tucked her blanket until it was snug under her chin. Mikasa then patted her head, running her palm against the girl’s vibrant tresses and putting a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Satisfied with Aurora’s sleeping conditions, Mikasa turned to prepare herself for bed. “Don’t be loud if you’re going to sneak out. Ro has been training for days — she needs all the rest she can get.”
“You know I’ve been sneaking out, too?!”
Sasha got a glare from her.
“Sorry.”
Aurora didn’t expect herself to be in this position, standing idly beside Squad Leader Hange and clutching a brand new journal that felt alien in her hands.
She had to blame Eren for this. Apparently, he blurted out that she had exceptional artistic expertise one night when his squad and Hange discussed the impending experiments in the upcoming weeks. Despite the bespectacled higher-up having a trusty second-in-command who could do anything that he committed himself to, Hange wanted a fresh set of eyes to sketch out the possible transformations Eren would be executing. As Hange said, while Moblit would record every event in the experiment, Aurora became the unofficial sketch artist of this experiment squad. Eren apologized; but of course, she had no choice but to forgive him, knowing that he was just excited to share that his best friend was a prodigy in the making regarding the Arts. He was forgiven when Aurora stood on her tip-toes to pat him on the head, their proximity eliciting a reaction from the boy.
“You’re awfully red, Eren,” Petra noted after Aurora left to resume her training with the rest of her squad (Mikasa became another member). When he didn’t answer, she followed his gaze until they landed on a certain redhead’s back. Petra lowly whistled. Eren was still in a trance. “ I see. Don’t you think this is the perfect time to come clean with whatever you’re feeling? ”
“ What do you mean, Petra ?” Eren asked, thrown off by the older woman’s question.
Petra shook her head. “ I’m just saying — grab the opportunity right before every expedition. Who knows what will happen to us out there. ” It was cryptic but it looked like it was perfectly understood by the boy judging from his reddening complexion. “ You know what, never mind . I’m just merely putting things in your mind that you shouldn’t prioritize right now. ” Then, she smiled. “ Don’t worry, Eren, only make sure you’re going to survive this coming expedition if you want her to know .”
It was a private conversation that became the reason why Eren couldn’t look Aurora in the eye, a completely hidden reason that had the girl wondering why Eren shied away every chance he’d get. Even now, as she waited for him to transform with Moblit and the members of the Special Ops, it was one of the thoughts circulating in her mind. However, it dissipated when Eren’s Titan didn’t emerge from the well he was asked to transform in. Seconds turned into minutes until murmurs from those around her started surfacing. Concern flooded Aurora’s senses as she stared at the well in the middle of this barren field. Why wasn’t he transforming? What was wrong?
“Is his transformation supposed to be this slow?” Moblit asked no one, joining her in staring down the well.
“I never witnessed it with my eyes but from the way the Colossal Titan appeared during the attack on Trost, the body should materialize right after a lightning strike,” Aurora stated, worried that this might take a toll on Eren. It was only the first experiment but knowing her best friend, he would berate himself more than anyone present at the moment. He had this habit of constantly pushing himself to succeed. It was admirable, yes, but sometimes it required interference for him to stop since he would hurt himself in the process. Eren still didn’t emerge from the well, prompting Levi and Hange to check up on him.
“Maybe he failed to see the signal?” Moblit supplied.
Aurora pursed her lips, “Maybe.”
“It’s the first experiment after all,” the man reassured her with a pat on her shoulder.
She nodded. Her eyebrows lifted when Eren was lifted from the bottom of the well. Alarm bells rang inside her head at the sight of him slumped over Levi’s arms and face painted in dejection. Aurora turned to Moblit and all he could tell her was an assurance, “Go.” She didn’t waste any time swinging her leg over her horse and directing her companion to where Levi was trying to pry Eren off of him.
“Is he alright, Captain?” Aurora asked Levi while getting off of Lux, her horse. She rubbed her companion’s snout to calm her down, her eyes still trained on Eren sitting on one of the benches placed right in the middle of this uninhibited property.
“He should be,” Levi replied, glancing at her before straightening himself. The rest of his squad was now circling the boy. Levi then faced them. “The experiment will be on hold for now. Let Jaeger rest first.” He looked down at the pitiful sight of their hope, blood dripping in between fingers and face dripped with astonishment. Levi clicked his tongue. “I need someone to treat his wounds.”
“Yes, Captain,” said Petra with a salute. The only female member of the Special Ops went to retrieve the first aid kit.
Aurora’s feet carried her beside her best friend. She sat down next to him and never took her eyes off his side profile. Eren was still staring at the ground with wide eyes. There was no steam drifting from his open wounds. They should be closing up by now. Being an honorary member of Hange’s squad in the meantime, Aurora learned that Eren could regenerate his limbs just like those of the lesser kind of Titans. Even Levi proposed a solution to prevent killing Eren on the spot — that was through subduing him by cutting everything attached to his torso. Aurora took one of his hands in both of hers. She mindlessly rubbed her thumb over his bloodied skin, the fluid seeping through her fingerprints. “It’s only the first experiment, Eren.”
“But we have no time, Dawn,” he replied.
“I know,” she breathed. “But we don’t always get what we want the first time around. There are still some factors in your transformation we have yet to discover.” Aurora squeezed his hand. “So, don’t beat yourself up for something you do not fault in.”
“But it feels like it.” He was saying a lot of ‘ but’ s right now.
“We just have to keep trying,” Aurora whispered to him as if it was a secret.
“But—”
Her glare made him gulp. “It hurts that you’re putting yourself down,” Aurora firmly stated. “This is called an experiment for a reason. Everything rides on trial and error but breakthroughs are eventually guaranteed in the end.” She schools her face into the warmth that he was so accustomed to — her eyes softened, lips losing that tightness, and her shoulder dropped from the tension she was carrying since she saw him clambering to stand after a decent time losing blood. Silence became their friend as Aurora continued creating patterns on Eren’s skin.
At some point, he stared at the way the golden hour captured her in her most beautiful moment but she focused on waiting for that first aid kit instead. Right when she was about to lift her gaze to meet him, Aurora caught Petra’s voice in the background, the clinking of medical supplies following after. She turned her head in her direction fast enough to catch the woman wiggling her eyebrows. The action confused her, the feeling further cemented when it was meant for the person beside her. So, Aurora made sure to check on Eren. He was in the process of mouthing something at Petra but it was cut off when he felt Aurora’s questioning gaze on him. His cheeks flared so bright that even Aurora could distinguish it from his tan skin. Petra snickered from where she was and that was what it took for the scarlet-haired girl to voice out, “Can I be the one to patch him up, Petra? If it’s alright, of course.”
“It’s totally fine!” Petra practically cheered, shoving the first aid kit in Aurora’s arms and startling the poor girl. “Here you go. Then, I’ll be off making some snacks and tea.”
Aurora nodded. “Thank you,” she told the woman, to which she returned with a heartfelt smile. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear before turning to start her task. “Let’s hope your wounds will heal before this hurts.”
Treating Eren’s wounds washed her with nostalgia, painting her figure a wistful blue despite the glowing sunset kissing the walls’ edges. How many years has it been?
Everything that happened in the past seemed so out of reach from her that she was starting to forget what it felt like running in the streets of Shiganshina and coming home to a blazing hearth and a cup of her favorite drink. She almost forgot what it was like to receive a mother’s embrace. A tinge of something painful tugged at her heart. Her entire life was a lie, but she didn’t hold it against Minerva at all. The woman only cared for her because she felt it was right, with her heart so big that she thought a little bundle of strangeness deserved a home to come back to. That life was the reason why she met Eren, and later Mikasa, then Armin. Those happy days were the epitome of happiness for her; even if it meant patching Eren up from his injuries, staying awake with Mikasa in the dead of the night when she found it hard to sleep or comforting Armin when his thoughts got the best of him.
Her fingers were gentle as she dabbed Eren’s wounds with antiseptic. He hissed every now and then and it urged her to be more tender with her actions. Aurora didn’t even notice that Eren had been boring his eyes onto her like he saw nobody but her. The bandages came next. The way she handled Eren showed that she didn’t see him as the potential enemy some of the soldiers loitering here were thinking. She knew he was going to heal after all this — her efforts were going to be futile. Despite that, she wanted to let Eren know that somebody was going to be by his side no matter what — even when the world was against him and he was branded as the wretched monster.
When she finished wrapping the bandages around his fingers, Aurora placed a kiss on her fingertips and tapped her fingers on the back of his hand. May it heal without pain . It was an ingrained gesture now. Whenever she saw Carla treat Eren (after scolding him for a good number of minutes), she always gave him a kiss on the part where he felt the most pain on (usually it was on the bandages holding the medicine in place). Now that Carla wasn’t around to do that anymore, it was only then that Aurora thought he deserved a little bit of the past he shut in his heart. Maybe it was because she was missing their childhood but she should have done this during the times she was being his nurse in the Training Corps.
No need to dwell on the past, she was going to give him fingertip kisses from now on. Right on the parts where it hurts the most. Starting with his hands.
“There,” she breathed. “Good as new.”
When Aurora met Eren’s gaze, she saw herself getting reflected. The pupils of his eyes covered most of his irises, so much so that only a small ring of that beautiful emerald shade peeked through.
“Eren?” Aurora asked, unable to look away from him.
He was staring at her as he saw her for the first time that day — face morphed into bewilderment upon looking at someone so striking, with her scarlet hair and golden eyes that no one owned for years. Compared to his childlike curiosity back then, an enigmatic daze covered most of his facial features.
The girl could only knit her eyebrows together. She patted his cheek to get him out of this stupor that managed to cast a spell on him. All this staring was making Aurora feel tingles surfacing in her chest. “Where have you been?” she asked as soon as Eren started blinking.
With eyes still on her, Eren answered, “N-Nothing.”
She hummed. It wasn’t nothing when he was so unresponsive for a couple of minutes. She felt his cheek warming up under her palm. “Are you thinking of how to quicken this experiment?”
“What?” He shook his head. “No—I mean, yes! That’s what I was thinking.”
A snort came from the other side of the table.
The rest of the Special Ops were finding the situation amusing. Oluo was snickering behind his cup of tea, courtesy of the teapot right in the middle of the table. Eld was shaking his head with a smile on his face. Gunther was smirking like he got the perfect marks on a pop quiz regarding the formations of the upcoming expedition.
“Right,” Oluo drawled.
Eren narrowed his eyes at him.
“Ah, to be young again,” Gunther mused.
“You’re not even that old, Gunther.” Eld pointed at him yet the smile was still painted on his lips.
Aurora had no idea what they were talking about but Eren clearly did. She tried catching his eyes in an attempt to send this silent question but he was too busy signaling the other members of his squad to stop whatever it was they were spewing. She could see that Eren became more familiar with the Special Ops the past few days he was training with them under Captain Levi’s tutelage. It was relieving to witness, to be honest.
Gunther continued, “You know what I mean.”
The blond second-in-command now grinned. “You better grab the opportunity before it flashes by, Eren.”
Oluo cackled, breaking free from his Levi facade for a second. “I’d like to see that day.”
Eren opened his mouth to retaliate and save himself from embarrassment when Levi sauntered in with a scowl on his face. Everyone lost their smiles. Aurora straightened in her seat.
“Jaeger,” Levi called out.
“Yes, sir!”
The Captain narrowed his eyes at the bandages around his hands, the blood seeping through the material. “The wounds you got from biting yourself aren’t healing? It’s been half an hour now.”
“Yes, they’re still not healing, sir,” Eren muttered.
Aurora felt a squeeze around her hand. Throughout the confrontation, Eren gripped her hand on the table. She responded with a gentle grip. However, it caught Levi’s attention, judging from the deeper scowl on his face.
“If you can’t turn into a Titan, you might as well call sealing Wall Maria a dream. This is an order — do something about it.” With that, the man gave everyone his back and went away to discuss things with Hange (probably about Maeve’s conditions now that she was training the recruits she picked to be placed in the Main Vanguard squad).
The boy released the sigh he prevented from coming out. “Yes, sir.”
“Don’t sound so depressed, Eren,” Eld tried to alleviate the tension around the table.
Oluo perched his chin on his hand. “This just proves that you’re more human than we thought.”
“I prefer this to hurry matters and losing lives in the process. This isn’t meaningless.”
Gunther grunted in agreement. “You can never be too careful.”
Aurora looked down at the cup of tea Oluo slid to her right after Levi left their table. It was a good thing that the members of the Captain’s squad remained understanding that nothing should be rushed, that this was only an experiment to test what triggers Eren’s Titan transformations. Once that matter was resolved, they would further divert their focus on the way his Titan worked. It was an arduous process that would require patience. From what Maeve told her, Levi was the personification of patience. It left the girl wondering whether the pressure from the Commander brought forth this order of making Eren do better in his performance. Aurora couldn’t blame him for feeling that way. The date of the expedition is nearing but it wouldn’t hurt to give Eren more time to prevent fewer deaths. Aurora sighed, picking up her cup of tea and letting the earthy tones of the drink soothe her palate. This was way too bitter.
She was too concentrated on trying to find some sugar on the table to register that Eren bent down to pick up his spoon.
Aurora reached out to take a sugar cube from a saucer when a bolt of lightning pierced the very ground she was sitting on.
“Shit!”
“What the fuck was that?!”
“Hey, look!”
The hairs on the back of Aurora’s neck stood up as she was thrown out of her seat. The explosion burned her skin, blisters immediately appearing on the areas that were too close to Eren, making her cry out. The damage was too painful for Aurora to register, tears blooming from her lower eyelids and dripping down her cheeks. Before her body could reach the ground, a swift pair of arms took her away from accumulating more injuries. She blinked until her vision was clear enough to give her an image of Levi keeping a firm hold around her while staring at his squad members.
“Calm the fuck down,” Levi enunciated. “All of you calm down.”
“Aurora!” Petra shouted when the dust settled.
“She’s right here. Now calm down — that will be the last time I’m saying it or else.”
But Eld had other plans. “Why’d you transform without permission?! Answer me!”
“Eld, hold on.”
“Answer him!” Oluo joined in. “What were you thinking?!”
Gunther stepped closer to the Titan carcass Eren was trapped in. “Enough of that. Better yet, prove to us that you’re not our enemy — humanity’s enemy. It’s your responsibility to prove it now!”
“If you so much as twitch a finger, your head will roll!” Oluo yelled.
“Oluo!” Levi raised his voice. “Calm down.”
“Captain!” Petra called. “Bring Aurora here and step away from Eren! She’s injured because of him!”
Levi caught himself and looked down at the wincing girl that was wrapped in one of his arms. He clicked his tongue. He promised Maeve that no harm would come to Aurora, not even a piece of hair should be touched. He was a person of promises, especially to that special someone, but he didn’t think he’d break it right on the first day of the experiments as well. Great . “I’ll bring her over to you but do not make a step from where you are. Stand down.”
Chaos ensued so rapidly that it made Eren snap, “Can everyone please shut up for one minute?!” They did. So, he turned to the girl breathing heavily with her injured arm cradled close to her chest. Aurora was bleeding gold. “Dawn—!”
“EREN!”
“Fucking great,” Levi murmured. “Moblit!”
“Squad Leader—Yes, Captain!” Moblit swerved in his direction.
“Take Aurora. She’s bleeding.”
That alone distracted their fury on Eren’s questionable transformation. Their eyes widened at the thin tendrils of gold oozing from the largest burn on Aurora’s forearm. To witness her kin bleed was that of legend. Now, they were in the audience watching it happen. Captain Maeve never once had wounds on her person during expeditions — she was too careful and experienced to let herself bleed just from avoiding and killing Titans for a living. The people who did see any Chevalier bleed was the Main Vanguard squad, having participated to train their newest member who was the very person injured at the moment. There was something godly with the way Aurora’s ichor dripped on blades of grass. The Special Ops momentarily forgot their concerns. Now that they noticed it, Aurora’s tight expression smoothened out until it was obvious she couldn’t feel any pain even though her wounds were still there.
“Aurora.” Moblit placed his hands on her arms. “Come here, let’s get you cleaned up.” The man trailed off to watch the scene unfolding behind the girl. “Oh, my Walls, Squad Leader Hange! Don’t touch that — you’ll get burned!”
“Amazing! This is so surreal!” Hange kept screaming.
“Oh, no,” Aurora exclaimed.
“What is it?” Moblit hastily gave her his attention, his eyes searching for any more hidden injuries. “Where does it hurt?”
“I don’t feel anything, Moblit, but,” she bit her bottom lip, “I forgot that I have to draw Eren’s Titan.”
The man shook his head. “Don’t think about that for now. We’ll have to compensate in the next experiment. The priority is to prevent your burns from getting infected.”
“Right.”
“Don’t worry, okay?”
Aurora nodded, feeling slightly better than before.
“Besides, the only person worrying about their demise should be Squad Leader Hange.”
“What?”
Moblit smiled with a troubled air. “They promised that in exchange for bringing you here, not a single hair should be touched on your body. Well, Captain Maeve can be pretty scary when she’s angry and I do hope that Squad Leader Hange survives this one later.”
“Do they fight often?”
“Oh, no, it’s not like that. More like … a mother scolding a child.”
With Hange’s chattering in the periphery, Aurora let herself be led by Moblit, her mind already formulating what she’d say to Eren to stop him from blaming himself for her injuries.