Chapter Text
Captain leaned back and looked at him with those eyes. The slightest hint of a smile twitched at the edge of his lip, but his hands gripped Havers's waist like a vice, like he was afraid to let go in case he slipped away again. "I've been waiting to hear you say that for eighty years."
It was strange how the world lit up at those words. Suddenly everything was brighter, and the birds sung a little louder and the sky was a little bluer and the wind seemed to be calling his name. This was it, it was real, it wasn't a dream. All these years after his death, maybe he could finally start living.
Captain grabbed his hand, and those firm fingers were so familiar in his that it made him want to cry. He couldn't take his eyes off him, every tiny detail that had barely changed since the day he left. He wanted to drink in every moment, to take full advantage of every second they were together. They had a lot of lost time to make up for.
His feet were moving again, but not towards the house. He followed numbly, grinning like a lunatic, as Captain dragged him towards the woods. The trees were older, more rugged than when he had left, but he still recognised the route. The small shrubbery was new, and yet felt so similar to before. He knew, in his soul, where they were going.
The clearing had barely changed. The canopy of leaves still stretched overhead, and as he stood ankle-deep in a pile of leaves, he imagined rain falling from the cloudless sky, a mirror of that first meeting so many years ago. He blinked and he was back there, cold and shivering but swollen with love. He could tell that Captain was seeing the same day play out before him, could feel the water on his face in the same way that Havers could.
There was a tree at the edge of the clearing, ancient and warped from hundreds of years of withstanding the elements. It was that tree they had held illicit meetings by, that tree into which they had once carved their initials, an engraving that paid tribute to their eternal, impossible love. It was that tree next to which Captain now stood, back turned to Havers.
His strong fingers traced the grooves in the bark, so hurriedly sliced with a pocket knife. It was overgrown with moss and scarred in places, but it was still as easily readable as the day they had written it there. T + W. The use of their first names was yet another step to hiding their identities. Even as they had held each other that day, giggling like teenagers as Havers gouged the jagged lines in the tree trunk, they had known the risks. They had always known the risks.
"The day you left, I was going to tell you. I wrote a letter, and I was so close to giving it to you. I couldn't say those words out loud. I never could. Then, you told me you were leaving, and I couldn't bear to tell you, not when it would break me to give you my heart and then lose you so soon. I wanted to ask you to stay, but you had made your choice. It's my biggest regret, that I didnt try harder. I should have stopped you leaving."
He felt like his withered heart had started and then stopped again. All the old guilt, that slumbering beast in his chest, rose to the surface, pushing its horns into his throat until it burned. "I'm so sorry - I wanted to stay so badly, but I needed you to be safe. I already - I already loved you then, and I've loved you every moment since. I had to leave before we passed the point of no return."
Captain turned towards him, eyes lined with silver. "We already had." That was it - those words broke him apart so truly, so thoroughly that he thought the pain might never end. Captain saw, and wrapped his arms around him, bracing him right down to his very core. "It wasn't either of our faults. We both made mistakes, but everyone deserves a second chance. We deserve a second chance."
He sank to his knees, still twined around Captain, his head thrumming with pain and joy and deep, infinite love. They just sat there, under the open sky, for what seemed like years. Maybe it was. It felt like a lifetime, and yet barely a fraction of a second. It felt like a clock winding backwards and rain in an ancient forest and cups of coffee left to go cold. It felt like forever had passed, and yet no time at all. Where did all those years go?
Eventually, like the tide drifting back from the sand, they broke apart. "How did you even get here?" Captain's voice was shaky, and though he was smiling, his eyes gave away all of the emotions swirling through his head. "I.. don't fully know. All I know was that I was given another chance by fate, and I wasn't content to just let it walk away. That battlefield was never home to me, never as much as this place."
Captain nodded, chest rising and falling with phantom breath. Havers had never felt so safe, so at peace, as he did then. He sighed softly. "I should probably go and introduce myself, right?"
"I should warn you - the other ghosts can be a little.. intense."
He chuckled, the sound grating after so many years of dormancy. "I can deal with intense."
When Captain had said they would be intense, he hadn't been exaggerating. They surrounded him in a content swarm of questions, chattering and arguing light-heartedly. Still, he wanted to get to know these people. These were Captain's new family, and he clearly cared a good deal about them. He could tell from the way he looked at the girl in the mauroon dress, who was the most excited, like she was his own daughter. He could tell from the way the other ghosts deferred to him, but with more respect than the soldiers had ever done.
Only the woman in grey seemed hesitant. She gazed over the scene with a hawk's eye, watchful and yet distant. He thought he detected a slight sneer on her lips, but before he could dwell on it any longer Alison walked over to her. "Are you going to say hello, Fanny?"
The woman blinked and gave him a long look. Time seemed to expand and elongate as her eyes took him in, but then she smiled and nodded to him. "Welcome to Button House."
Even Captain looked a little surprised that she had greeted him, but that expression soon went away as Fanny dragged him to one side and began to complain about how dreadful all the other ghosts were, and how she was sure he would add some class to the house.
The scout leader with the arrow through his neck was particularly enthused to meet him. He kept talking about how it was nice to have some new blood at Button House, and invited him to participate in about fifty different clubs that he couldn't even remember the names of, let alone try and attend. The crowd around him thickened and got louder, and although he was trying his best, it was still draining to have so much interaction after so many years of having so little.
The man with no trousers seemed to notice this, and he cleared his throat loudly. "I think we should give Captain and his friend some time to get reacquainted." He gave the man a grateful smile as the ghosts dispersed a little, and inexplicably the man gave him a wink back. Captain caught his elbow before he could question it, though, and he let himself be guided out of the room.
Captain's chambers were overlooking the garden. As he gazed out of the window, a bluebird flitted past, and he realised that he could see the canopy of the ancient oak reaching above the treeline. The room was perfectly located to be able to see the place where so much of their relationship had occurred, he realised. That thought made his heart swell like a balloon.
Something occured to him as he turned back towards Captain, who was glowing a little with pride and joy. "What did you do with the letter?"
Captain chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his silver hair. "I buried it next to the explosives. They detonated a year or so ago when Michael started a bonfire in the back yard." A laugh bubbled up in his throat, so ridiculous after such a long period of sorrow. Alison hadn't told him that the explosives had detonated, and somehow the discovery made him even more melancholy about all the time that he had missed.
Captain was the same, but he was different too. He seemed lighter, more warm than when he was alive. He suspected that had something to do with the group of ghosts in the other room. He was glad that Captain had found some form of happiness after he died. He sat on the window ledge, the same window ledge on which they had rested for many nights when they were alive, searching the stars for a hint at the secrets that the universe might hold.
It was strange, that even after all this time, they were still so drawn to each other. He had never believed in fate when he was alive, or in soulmates, but he also hadn't believed in ghosts. Maybe no matter how much he had once tried to hide from his feelings, they were meant to be out in the open. They were meant to be unearthed. This was love, and it was perfect and wonderful and he didn't know how anyone thought it could be sinful. This was where he belonged.
He pretended to raise a glass.
"Here's to buried secrets, I suppose."