Chapter Text
It was a little later than the time Fumiya told him he doesn’t remember his usual seat. His eyes wondered off to the other side of the cafe and it seems like he got lost there for a second. Naturally, Ritsu got curious. He forced his non-existant memory to remember an ounce of what they used to be. It was a fruitless effort. Or so he thought. That night when he was about to close his eyes, he saw Fumiya in the back of his eyelids. He was dressed so well in a suit and he had the brightest smile on his face than any day could shine on. He knew then. He remembered what they were and who he was.
Why is he lying to me?
The thing that was still missing from his memories was the night of his birthday. He remembered Fumiya trying to talk about it at the cafe, but it seemed unimportant at the time. He wanted to ask Fumiya again, but all of his attempts were in vain. Why would he lie? Was he offended that Ritsu couldn’t remember him? Surely, that would be too childish. Ritsu tried and tried but he could not, fort he life of him, figure out an answer. Confronting him seemed too pathetic. So he just went with his game. He waited until Fumiya was ready to tell him in his own time. All he could do was hope that Fumiya would eventually tell him. He wondered if he was waiting for Ritsu to regain his memories, but he couldn’t make the first move.
What are you waiting for Fumiya?
When the man approached them first Ritsu did not know what to do, how to act, or what to say. It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t a little excited to see Fumiya’s reaction. He was sure that this would be the last drop for him. He was so sure that Fumiya would tell him now. He was so very sure that Fumiya still loved him dearly. He was as sure as a damn fool. Ritsu waited until his (ex?)boyfriend got out of the restroom. His plan was to excuse themselves from the stranger, and wait for Fumiya to talk to him on the walk home. He didn’t give him the chance to do so. He expected everything. He expected fighting, screaming, crying. He just never ever expected Fumiya to leave him with someone else.
Guess he really found his way out from me.
As the man kept talking, was his name Kurosawa Ritsu wasn’t sure, he kept thinking about their home. How Fumiya filled every room with life and love as soon as he entered. How they slept together, their souls and hearts intertwined. He thought about their past together. How was he supposed to know they wouldn’t share a future together? I, at least, deserve a proper break up. So he was running. He was running as if his lungs were made of steel. It was a bit funny to think about how he was rushing home, so that the man he loves can break up with him. He felt the wind on his hair and on his face, as if it was encouraging him, gently sweeping his cheeks. As he stood in front of their door, he tried to collect himself. He was sweaty and out of breath. After a few seconds, his hand reached to his inner pocket.
All I have to do is cross this line. Then, I will get my answers.
He turned the key very gently. Since he was there, all of his courage was getting sucked out of him. He wanted to run all the way back to where he came from. He wanted to run and hide in a place Fumiya can never even think of finding him. But it was too late now.
“Ritsu? Why are you here so ear-“
“What happened that night? My birthday, the accident. What exactly happened that night?”
Fumiya stopped in his tracks. His eyes darkened and all the color left his face.
“We- um.. we got in a fight, and then you left. The next thing I know we were in the hospi-“
“I SAID!... What exactly happened Fumiya? I know there must be more.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
It was hilarious in Ritsu’s eyes. They were so caught up in a web of unspoken truths together that the more they tried to get out, the more they got tangled up.
“Fumiya, don’t bury us alive. Stop acting like we never even happened. Break up with me, at least, properly. I deserve that much, don’t you think? We deserve more.”
Ritsu was the first one to leave their web of lies.