Chapter Text
Reigen always found himself contemplating his existence at the worst moments.
Like now, for instance. He was supposed to be enjoying soba after a job well done, but no, he just had to be pondering his various issues and ailments. He was on the urge of an existential crisis while slurping up a noodle, for lord’s sake. Plus, his discomfort must’ve been extraordinarily noticeable, as Serizawa was looking at him with a slightly concerned expression.
I’m grimacing, aren’t I? I need to stop that. How. How do I stop. By smiling! He tried to pull his expression into something more pleasing, but found himself incapable of doing so. I think I forgot how to smile??? Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit–
“Reigen?” Double triple quadruple whatever shit. “Are you alright? I mean, you’re kind of looking at your food like it personally wronged you–”
“Psh, yeah, I’m totally fine!” He waved his hand in an attempt to show his complete lack of concern, forgetting that he was holding a chopstick. A bit of food went flying, causing his frown to deepen. “Fine, I tell you. You worry too much.”
Reigen was not fine. For some reason, seeing those photographs triggered something within him that was starting to kick in now and he just could not shake it. Even his typical bullshitting act wasn’t enough to cover it up.
“...Are you sure?” Serizawa, meanwhile, wasn’t even trying to hide his worried expression. Reigen pulled the corners of his mouth down into a deep frown before quickly pulling them up again. The result was a grin with the same amount of energy as concrete pavement.
“Yep! 100 percent sure.” He quickly slurped up a noodle. “As sure as could be.”
Serizawa raised an eyebrow at him. I’m going to have to put more effort into this .
“I was just, uh, contemplating business! Very important financial matters and the like, you know the drill. Nothing to concern yourself over, don’t you worry. Yep, just continue eating your noodles, and I’ll continue, um, considering, analyzing, and… deciding margins.” He flashed one of his trademark smiles before burying his face in more noodles so he couldn’t be seen. That was the right amount of bullshit, I think.
“...If you say so.” The other man displayed one last concerned expression before continuing his eating. Reigen took it as a success. Might have to work on the theatrics, Arataka, but you’ve still got it.
If it wasn’t clear from his very obvious deflecting, he was not alright. In fact, he was far from it. Because at that moment, he was thinking about something he really did not want to think about, but knew he had to. Talking to his sister again. When he had been sure death was coming his way, one of his first thoughts was making peace with her. At that moment, he realized just how important that was to him. He had to. It was an uncomfortable, tough resolution, but he knew he had to accept it. It might take a bit, but at that moment, he made it an aspiration of his. The only problem was the actual confrontation. He’d have to somehow convince her he wasn’t a criminal, get her to see from his perspective. Maybe tug at the heartstrings a bit. Then, if all went well, maybe they could have even a fraction of the relationship they had as kids. They’d talk sometimes, maybe a few times a month, and she’d invite him to events and he’d invite her. She’d let him talk to his nephew, who he had never met but he sure as damn would like to. Maybe she’d have another kid and model their middle name off of his or something stupidly familial.
I would like that.
The only problem was, of course, that big “if”. IF things go well. IF she even wants to talk to him. IF she hasn’t already tried to erase any connection to him or something. It was then he realized another problem.
She probably has me blocked. How am I supposed to talk to her?
The #1 answer would be to have his mother send an appeal, but that would require contacting his mother , which honestly sounded extremely unappealing. Maybe he could use a payphone, or buy one of those traceless phones drug dealers use.
Would she even pick up? Even if she did, would she listen?
He guessed the only way to find out would be to try. Until then, he’d continue eating, and strike up a conversation with Serizawa about the office plant or something.
Later that day, Reigen was flipping a pen in his hand, ignoring his many responsibilities and instead focusing his attention on minor stimuli. He used to do this with pencils when he was a kid, but one time he wasn’t paying attention and stabbed himself with one, pretty much creating a lifelong ban on that practice. He was so bored, but he once read that “boredom is a privilege” or something so he really didn’t want to complain. He didn’t have any upcoming meetings and the stream of walk-ins had dried up, so he was considering telling Serizawa to just go home early and close up shop. Unfortunately, however, right before he could feel the sweet release of time away from the office, he heard a knock on the door.
“Come on in!” he yelled, hoping that this would be quick. He gestured at Serizawa to make tea, not even paying attention to the customer until she was right in front of him.
“Hello.” He looked up, and almost fell off his chair. Salmon hair, perfectly neutral expression…
It’s the woman from the photographs. He started maniacally swinging his hands to try and divert attention from his shock. What was her name? Aymi or something?
“Oh, hello! Welcome to Spirits & Such Consultation. What can we help you with, Ms.…”
“Kanashii. Kanashii Eimi.” Taking notice of the familiarity slowly creeping onto Reigen’s face, she slightly raised the corners of her mouth, so that if you were trying really hard you could interpret it as a smile. “Just call me Eimi. You’ve already met my ex-husband, I understand.”
“Oh, um, yes! Yes, in fact we did. He came to us for a consultation, and we performed a successful exorcism. He was very pleased, as 99.9% of our customers are!” Good, Arataka, use your panic to create a sales pitch.
“Hm, yes, I heard that.” She sighed, taking a pair of designer sunglasses out of her designer purse and fiddling with them. And I thought Kanei was loaded… “You see, I was very impressed by the report. The man who placed the curse said it was supposedly impossible to exorcize… of course, you know salesmen, always making empty promises.” Reigen felt that like a personal attack . Regardless, he kept his customer service smile turned on.
“Oh yes, totally.” He rapidly shook his head, before it finally dawned on him that she had practically just admitted to the crime . Now, he never went to law school, but he couldn’t help but think that that was, y’know, bad. He did applaud himself for his amazing detective skills, however. Maybe I should’ve just become a private investigator.
“As I was saying…” She finally sat down on the couch instead of forebodingly standing there. She folded one leg over the other and folded her hands on her lap, sitting upright with perfect posture. “You. You know what you’re doing.”
Reigen put his hands up like she just accused him of battery and robbery. “Well, that’s extremely kind of you, ma’am, but I wouldn’t exactly say that.” He laughed, scratching the back of his head like he always did when offered a compliment by a client. Unfortunately, instead of a reassuring of his ability, all he got was the same cold, composed stare.
“Mm. What I’m saying is, you possess skills which could be extremely of use to me.” When Reigen opened his mouth, she swiftly put out a hand. “Unarguable. And not because I consider you to be some godly deliverer of justice, but because you have provided me with the evidence and reasoning that suggests that you are the person I need for a job.”
Reigen leaned forward. He decided that with this woman, he didn’t need to overdo it with the flattery and sugar. “Explain.”
“Kanei Souta. You know him. My ex-husband.” She paused before continuing. “It seems that he has… enacted his revenge, for lack of a better term.”
Kanei? Never thought of him to be the type… He seemed a little too… well, frivolous to hold a grudge.
“Yes, well, Kanei… back when I was Kanei Eimi, I thought of him to be a very sweet man. Perhaps not the smartest, but certainly well meaning. I had friends tell me I was too good for him, but I never listened… Perhaps I should’ve.” She ducked her head before returning to her perfectly straight position. “I thought everything was going well. I guess that’s the case for most people. But then he began to spend an excessive amount of time at work, and the next thing I know, he has a new mistress in the form of his secretary .” Reigen knew the story, but still grimaced. “Awfully stereotypical, I’m aware.” She let out what was almost a laugh, but her tight lips and furrowed brows put the lack of humor she found in the situation under full blast.
“That is awful. I’m very sorry that happened to you.” His reply was a little monotone, not really reflecting how deeply unfair he actually thought the whole affair was. Still, she seemed like the person to appreciate minimal displays of emotion.
“Yes, yes, who isn’t.” She looked down like she was searching for something to drink, and Reigen realized that Serizawa had never brought the tea out. He looked around the room, before he caught him hanging in the doorframe. Reigen widened his eyes, a gesture that he hoped conveyed “ What are you doing?” . Serizawa shrugged, and pointed his head at Eimi. Reigen waved him over. Serizawa placed tea on the coffee table, before quickly leaning over towards Reigen.
“Sorry,” he whispered, “it seemed like a personal moment.”
“Very considerate of you, however I assure you it’s fine,” Reigen whispered back, before whipping his attention back towards Eimi.
“This is my associate, Serizawa Katsuya. He helped out with your ex-husband’s exorcism. He’s one of the best out there.” Serizawa outstretched his hand, which Eimi firmly shook.
“A pleasure to be acquainted. Well, I suppose it’s only fair for him to be present here as well. I’ll continue. So, unlike how Kanei might have tried to get you to think, I was not a jealous ex-wife. All I wanted was to be left in peace. Was I angry? Of course, who wouldn’t be? But I wasn't petty. He, however…” She took a long sip of her tea, before leaning forward to emphasize her point. “He was.”
Reigen’s eyebrows shot up with interest. Serizawa similarly poured his attention towards Eimi.
“He would do all these incredibly foolish things. Getting angry at me, pulling ‘pranks’, as he liked to call them. Calling me, even after I blocked his number. He would simply call through a friend. Even after I changed it, he still found a way to track me down. I considered getting a restraining order, but for a while it seemed like he stopped his antics. Until one day, I was taking care of my prized roses, and found one cut. I was, obviously, extremely angry, and also knew exactly who did it. I checked the social media account of his mistress, and sure enough, she had been given a rose, identical to the one I was missing. I was so enraged… I lost myself a bit. I, instead of taking the reasonable track, made a deal with a man. He put a curse on Kanei’s beloved house, and I thought that would put a stop to all these trivial matters.
“Unfortunately, however, you know Kanei. Never willing to give up. Always full of some new, absolutely dense idea to get his glory.” She shook her head, and then bit her bottom lip in what was the most emotion she had shown her entire visit. “I just wish it didn’t have to be this way… Well, we can’t change the past, I suppose.”
“No, no we can’t…” Reigen’s most despised brain immediately conjured up the memory of the last time he spoke to his sister. Besides him, Serizawa looked similarly pained. He couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking of. He winced, then attempted to bring himself into the present to pay attention to what she was saying.
“Well, anyways, he’s done… something to my home. I’m not entirely convinced about all these paranormal affairs, which I know sounds insane as I quite literally hired someone to place one, but still. It’s rather unfortunate.”
“Do describe such… paranormal matters,” Reigen said, pulling out a notepad and a pen, ready to bullshit his way into professionalism. Eimi took a deep breath before continuing.
“Well, I’m not ashamed to admit that I can be a perfectionist. In fact, I think that it’s a perfectly admirable trait to have. I always make sure everything in my house is lined up, dusted, in their proper place, all in all perfect.” Reigen quickly scraggled down notes that were mostly random lines. Serizawa watched him with a slightly bemused smile that told of experience with Reigen’s nonsense before looking back up.
“Do go on,” Reigen prompted.
“Well, recently, I’ve been coming back to my home, only to find all my items strewn about everywhere. It really is a most harrowing matter… the distress of observing my possessions in such a position, the effort of putting it all back in place… let’s just say I’m not a fan.” She stopped to take a sip of tea. “Plus, there’s the problem of… well, this might sound silly.”
“We can assure you that no matter what you say, we’ve heard something sillier.” Reigen turned his head towards Serizawa to confirm, and the man let out a ready nod. They had definitely seen… a lot.
“Alright then. I keep seeing something in the corner of my eye. It’s odd. It’s like a movement, like someone watching you then running off. I’ve searched my entire house, but I haven’t found any evidence of someone breaking in or taking residence or anything of the like.” She furrowed her eyebrows and leaned towards Reigen. “I’m not entirely ready to ignore the real person scenario, however. Though, really, Kanei is not that sly. He’s a rather… boisterous man, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes, from our experiences, he seemed quite–”
“Loud. Extra. Noticeable,” Serizawa contributed. Reigen almost chuckled.
“Yes, thank you. Not really the type to be so elusive.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking. He could have hired someone, but really I see no motive. So while there’s a small chance there’s some completely reasonable, non-paranormal explanation to this, it’s not too likely. So, like that… how do I say this kindly… interesting sister of his, I’ve been resigned to resort to the paranormal.” She shook her head like she had just admitted to her boss that she had been accepting funds from a rival company or something. As if this was just some absolute insane thing of her to say, one that would surely bring great shame and misfortune for her. Luckily for her, though, it was just another day on the job for Reigen.
“No need to fear sounding crazy. We get cases like this all the time.”
“Really?” Eimi inquired, tilting her head slightly. Reigen began to aggressively nod.
“Yes, really! Right, Serizawa?”
“Yes, we do,” he quickly responded. Reigen gave Eimi a thumbs up.
“See? You don’t sound crazy at all. Completely rational, in fact. Tell you what. You seem like a quality person. We’ll check your house out for free, and if we find nothing of the occult sort, you can walk out, free of charge. However, if we do sense some sort of mysterious, ghostly presence, we can discuss pricing charges, and move on from there. How does that sound?”
“Truly? Well, that sounds ideal.” She took a small note card from her designer purse and jotted down some numbers. “This is my address. Feel free to pop by anytime tomorrow. Below that is my phone number. Please contact me if you have any further queries.”
“Well then, ma’am, I suppose we’ll see you then,” Reigen responded, taking the card from her hand.
“Yes, I suppose you shall. I really must be going now. Thank you for hearing me out, and for your hospitality. I wasn’t too… sure of you when I first walked in, if I’m being honest. Glad to see I’ve been proven wrong. I hope you continue to defy my expectations.”
“We will! Thank you , miss.” Reigen stood up with a large clap, deciding to ignore her comment about uncertain first impressions, but regardless glad that he had somehow proven her wrong.
“Really, you can just call me Eimi. I’ll get out of your hair now. Goodbye.” She let out a small wave, and hurried out the door in the same perfect manner she had entered with. Reigen watched her leave, then turned to Serizawa.
“Well! A new client on our hands.”
“I can’t believe you gave her such a good offer. Unexpectedly well-mannered of you,” Serizawa remarked, with a slight smirk and a tone that almost mocked the more formal one Reigen had adopted while speaking to the client. Reigen flapped his hand at him.
“You really do hold such a low expectation of me. She seemed like a good woman, and I’ll be honest with you, I felt a little bad for her. So, I thought it was only right to give her the best of the best. And see? Now she has a good opinion of us. That’s exactly what we want!” Reigen wildly moved his hands until they were pointing at Serizawa.
“Hmm, yes, I guess so.”
“Plus, if we do a good job, maybe she’ll recommend us to all her rich business friends. Then we’ll be set for life. No more soba, we can dine at like… The Ritz instead.”
“I’ll be honest with you, I think I’d prefer soba to The Ritz.”
“Ugh, Serizawa, you’re so pedestrian ,” Reigen replied, and the two stood in silence for a second before bursting into laughter.
“ Pedestrian , wow, Teru really is rubbing off on you,” Serizawa claimed between chuckles, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.
“He’s an influential boy, let me tell you.” At this point, half of Reigen’s vocabulary was purely made up of random words the boy dropped. At first he had begun to recite them ironically, but at this point it was just a part of his life. Pretty good allegory for half of the things I have going on.
“Clearly.” Serizawa let out his last smile before returning to his desk to await work, before Reigen remembered his earlier plans.
“I think we deserve to leave early. Need to study up and prepare for tomorrow, no?”
“I think you’re right.” The other man nodded, probably grateful for an opportunity to catch up on schoolwork or something. Reigen realized he wasn’t quite sure what he did outside of that. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Have a nice night!” Reigen waited for Serizawa to leave, waving him out, before he packed up his own belongings and headed back to his apartment. For once, his mind was free of concerns over his family, and instead was filled with the events of the day.
Now, he just had to hope that tomorrow wouldn’t be a huge flop.