Chapter Text
Ash and Goh aren’t sure what to expect when they knock on Gary’s door at just past 11. Gary looking them up and down in their disheveled tuxes, yelling “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” and slamming the door in their faces certainly isn’t the reaction they’re hoping for.
In hindsight, they probably should have seen that coming.
“Gary, come on, let us in,” Ash pleads through the door.
“No! I asked you for one thing. This one thing. Why can’t you just—” Gary breaks off with a curse, and the apartment goes quiet again.
“I–I know you asked for space, Gary. I’m sorry. We are trying to respect that, I promise, but—”
“But there’s something we need to tell you,” Goh cuts in when Ash’s words seem to dry up, resting his forehead against the cool grain of the door. “Something really important, please, just—can we come in? If you don’t like what we have to say, we’ll leave, and you can take all the time you need after. Please.”
The moments tick away in tense silence, until Gary’s voice finally calls out, “fine, whatever. Spare key’s under the mat.”
“No—no, it’s okay. I have mine,” Goh calls out, fishing his keyring from his pocket. He pauses with the key slid into the lock, shooting Ash a desperate look. Part of him worries that it won’t work—that Gary is slowly revoking their access to every part of his life until he’s totally unreachable. But the key turns when he twists it, the tumblers clicking as they disengage. The door swings inward, the hallway light spilling into the otherwise dark apartment.
His key still works. It still works.
Somehow, that feels a bit like hope.
They’re hit with a wave of stale air as they close the door behind them, the whole place smelling faintly of vomit and booze. “Gary?”
“Couch,” comes the muffled reply.
“I’m turning the light on,” Goh warns a moment before he does, earning a groan from the Gary-shaped lump of blankets on the sofa. Goh takes in the collection of empty bottles on the coffee table with a sigh. “Oh, Gary—”
“You have five minutes,” Gary bites out. “If you plan to use them to judge my life choices, you might as well save your breath.”
“No, no, that’s not—that’s not why we’re here.” Goh raises his hands in surrender, even if the other man can’t see him from where he’s buried under linens. “We, uh, had a bit of an epiphany. We realized that you have feelings—” at Gary’s derisive snort, he adds, “for us. Feelings for us. Of the—well—romantic variety.”
“And that made us realize that we, uh, also have feelings.” Ash clears his throat. “For you.”
The apartment is dead quiet in the wake of their pronouncement, save for the distant hum of the fridge and A/C unit in the other room. Gary is silent for so long that Goh and Ash share an alarmed look. In all their imaginings about how this conversation might go, neither of them had considered the possibility that he’d just ignore it.
Then the blankets over Gary start to shake all over, and Ash bursts out with “oh, Gary, don’t cry, please—” in alarm before the other man sucks in a long breath and laughs.
It’s… not a pleasant sound, hoarse and sour and tinged with hysteria as he fights his way out of his cocoon. “My god,” he wheezes. “I am not drunk enough for this.”
“I think you’re plenty drunk,” Goh says, frowning as he watches Gary stumble into the kitchen, cursing as his uneven gait knocks his elbow against the doorframe on his way.
He returns after a few minutes, dropping back onto the sofa with a bottle of beer in hand. “So, just to recap—you suddenly realized that I’ve been stupidly infatuated with you for years, and you—what, had a lightbulb moment that you feel the same way?”
Ash shrugs. “I mean, kinda. Yeah.”
Gary raises an eyebrow. “I see. And when, exactly, did you have this sudden epiph—epiphany?” He scowls at his own lack of coordination over his mouth, glaring down at his drink like it has personally offended him.
“Tonight,” Goh admits, cheeks tinged pink.
Gary takes a long pull from his beer, giving them both a look that makes it quite clear that he’s contemplating the depths of their stupidity. “Of course you did. And you decided to come tell me because—?”
“We want you to come to Alola with us,” they say together, startling another laugh out of him.
“You want me to come with you,” he says slowly, “on your honeymoon? ” When they just nod, he blanches, his face slowly blooming with horror. “God, this—this is because of what I said, isn’t it? The last time you were here. Guys, no, just—just stop, please. I’m—I’m sorry, okay? You don’t have to do this.”
Goh puts a hand on Gary’s knee. “We want to. And you have nothing to apologize for—”
“Yes, I do,” Gary snaps. “You’re telling me that on your wedding night, you suddenly just realized you have romantic feelings for me after all these years of friendship? And now you want to be, what, boyfriends? Lovers? When you—” he jabs a finger in Ash’s direction. “—Didn’t even know what polyamory was last week?”
“Why is everyone throwing that in my face?” Ash demands. “I bet lots of people don’t know that’s a thing!”
“That’s not the point, Ashy. Do you—do you even realize how crazy this all sounds?”
“I know,” Goh says, groaning. “I know how it sounds. Trust me, we’ve already been over most of this on the cab ride here. And I know you have no reason to believe us after all the—the thoughtless things we’ve said and done lately, but please. We didn’t know—”
“I have absolutely no problem believing that.” Gary drops his head into his hands. “You’re clueless. It’s a miracle you two even managed to get together with each other for how clueless you are. Of course you didn’t know. And on the very slim chance that you did, I figured all those awkward talks were you guys trying to let me down easy. That’s why—that’s what I mean. I never should have said those things to you, Ash. It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same about me. It’s not—it’s not your resp—responsibility to make me happy. You don’t have to do this.”
“It’s not like that—”
“Of course it is.” Gary laughs again, and this time it’s so bitter that Goh can’t help but flinch back, his hand falling away from Gary’s knee. “I told you I couldn’t be happy because the people I love don’t love me back, I’ve ghosted you for days, I didn’t come to your wedding, and now you feel so guilty that you’re trying to give me what you think I want just to cheer me up.” His next laugh turns to a sob halfway through. “I am the worst friend on the planet.”
“No, that isn’t true.” Ash pulls Gary’s hands away from his face, thumb brushing along the pulse point on Gary’s wrist. “Look, I’m not—I don’t know what to say, Gary. Except—I just got married to one of the best men I’ve ever known in my life, and I just—I just kept thinking about how I wanted to share that with you, too. I wanted you there. I always want you with me. Isn’t—isn’t that enough?”
Gary lets out a shaky breath and nods, turning his gaze to Goh.
Goh shrugs, smiling. “I’m not used to Ash being the eloquent one, so—” he leans in to press his mouth to Gary’s in a soft kiss. When he pulls back a few moments later, feeling flushed and breathless and oddly weightless with the faint taste of beer on his tongue, he whispers, “please, come with us.”
“I—I can’t,” Gary says, and he looks more fragile in that moment than they’ve ever seen him, like he could crumble away to nothing right in front of them. “I want to, but—I’ve wanted this for so long, and you—it’s been hours for you. What if you wake up tomorrow and realize you’d just—I don’t know, had too much champagne?”
“Says the drunkest person in the room,” Goh muses.
“My point still stands.”
“So, what,” Ash says, exasperated. “You’re just going to refuse because we might change our minds later? No one would ever start a relationship with that kind of logic.”
“Okay, first of all, don’t you start lecturing me about logic, Ashy. My heart can’t take any more shocks tonight,” Gary says. “But—that’s not what I—” He takes a deep breath, visibly steeling himself. “Go to Alola. Enjoy your honeymoon. And—” He holds up a hand to silence their protests. “And if you still feel the same after a week, I’ll join you there.”
Goh narrows his eyes. “No. Three days, and if you aren’t on the next flight after that, we’re spending the rest of our honeymoon right here, wooing you.”
Ash beams. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
Gary huffs. “You’re both impossible,” he mutters. “But fine, whatever. Three days.”
—
As it turns out, three days is a long time to wait when you know you have a smart, gorgeous, grumpy third joining you at the end of it.
Alola is the same as always—sunny and beautiful and cheerful. The suite at their beach-front resort is as huge and opulent as expected, with the softest bed Ash has ever slept on in his life and a room service menu that almost measures up to Mallow’s cooking. Unfortunately, it's still distinctly lacking in sassy researchers named Gary, so they spend most of their time plotting what they're going to do when the three days are up and sulking about having to wait at all.
They quickly find out that, while Gary refuses to answer their endless barrage of texts detailing every little thing they’re doing (and that he’s needlessly missing out on it), he can only hold out so long once they take an explicit turn.
They’ve just spent ten minutes describing all the things they plan to do to him in the frankly massive tub in their suite when Goh’s phone pings with an incoming message.
For the love of god, stop. I’m trying to have lunch with my grandfather.
Aww, say hi for us! Goh texts back with a laugh.
Absolutely not. He keeps asking if I’m getting a cold because I’m flushed. Hope you’re happy, you monsters.
A little, but we’d be happier if you were here with us, Ash sends from his phone.
What the fuck, Ashy? That was actually kinda smooth.
Don’t sound so surprised! >:(
We’re all surprised you know how to flirt, Ash, Goh adds.
“Traitor!” Ash calls in from the balcony, but the quip gets a hah! from Gary, so he decides to let it slide.
—
Don’t you two have better things to do than sext me constantly? Gary demands somewhere during day two of their trip.
Which, yes, fine, is a valid question, because they probably should be doing other things on their honeymoon, but, well—
You’re the one who told us to think about you for three days, Ash texts back.
I told you to think about your feelings, not your dick.
Goh lets out a morose groan from the bathroom, toothbrush dangling from his mouth as his fingers fly across his phone screen. The two are more connected than we’d assumed.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
—
Goh wakes up bright and early to send: Day three. Get your ass to the airport.
Technically, we agreed on three full days, and since day three just started…
Goh grits his teeth and types out the next message with more force than is probably necessary. Gary Oak, I swear to Arceus, if you aren’t here by dinnertime, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.
Yes, dear, is all Gary sends back, and Goh is sort of embarrassed at what those two words do to his insides.
—
Gary, ever punctual, shows up while they’re trying to decide where to eat for the evening, slipping a keycard into his back pocket as the door clicks shut behind him. “Hey. Did I meet my deadline—”
Whatever smartass comment he plans to open with is cut off by Ash pressing him firmly against the door and kissing him senseless.
He doesn’t seem to mind.
—
Epilogue
Five years later…
“No, we can’t put Misty that close to your grandfather,” Goh argues, leaning over the booth to jab a finger at the seating chart.
Gary rolls his eyes. “Why not?”
“Because she traumatized him enough last time,” Goh says, trying to snatch the pencil out of Gary’s hand.
“Oh please, he’s lived through five years of us,” Gary says, holding the pencil just out of reach. “He’s probably desensitized by now. Besides, we need Tracey to keep her out of trouble, and he’ll have a fit if he can't talk Gramps’ ear off all night.”
Goh frowns. “Are we sure Tracey’s the right person for that job?”
“No, but he’s one of, like, five people who aren’t shamefully scared of her, and she can bribe two of them with sexual favors, so they’re obviously not helpful.”
“And the other two people?”
“Well, Ash is going to be a little preoccupied getting married, and Brock’s his best man, so—”
“Fine, I guess Professor Oak is collateral damage, then.” Goh sighs, stabbing at his lunch with his fork. “I forgot how stressful this is.”
“I told you we should have just eloped to Paldea,” Gary reminds him, raising an eyebrow. “No one said you had to do this madness all over again.”
“Of course we do.” Goh scowls at him. “We’re not whisking you away to Paldea like you're some kind of—of—afterthought. You deserve a wedding as beautiful as our last one.”
Gary scoffs, but his smile is tender when he leans in to press a kiss to Goh’s cheek. “Such a softie.”
“Oh, whatever,” Goh says, waving a dismissive hand. “My thoughtfulness is just one of the many reasons you want to marry me.”
“Nah, I’m mostly marrying you for your good looks and fantastic ass—”
“We’re in public.”
“I know. That’s why I’m not mentioning why I’m marrying Ash—” He yelps when Goh kicks him under the table.
“Gary Oak, I swear to god—”
“Oh, come on, you love it.”
“Unfortunately,” Goh says, “I really do.”