Chapter Text
They spent the next few hours cleaning Makoto's apartment, throwing away the trash, and organizing his things. It was a tedious process, but Laurent was surprisingly patient and helpful throughout the whole thing. Laurent couldn’t help but wonder how it had come so far. Sure, Makoto had seemed a bit unhinged after wrapping up the last con, but he normally snapped back to his usual self without much trouble. They worked in silence, it wasn’t uncomfortable and as they finished up, Laurent suggested they grab some lunch at a nearby restaurant, rather than having to buy groceries and cook in the small kitchen. Makoto hesitated for a moment but ultimately agreed. It was nice to have some company, to not be alone and too tired to even bother to eat.
“As a show of goodwill I’m treating you to whatever you want,” Laurent said with that smirk of his. Makoto only rolled his eyes and sighed: “There is a ramen shop down the street, that’s good enough” His voice was barely more than a murmur and he felt tired to his bones. He didn’t know when he had moved this much the last time and he was sure he would be sore tomorrow. How pathetic he had become.
They walked to the ramen shop in silence, Makoto lost in his own thoughts and Laurent seemingly content to let him be. As they sat down and ordered their food, Makoto couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He didn't trust Laurent, not completely, but he also couldn't deny the comfort of having someone to talk to, someone who seemed to understand him on some level. As they ate their ramen, Makoto contemplated if he should just ask Laurent straight on, he didn’t have much to lose right? He ate his noodles slowly, not really tasting anything, and glanced at the blond in front of him. Laurent was seemingly enjoying the food all the while staring at something on his phone. When he looked up and their eyes met, Makoto decided to just run with it.
“So,” he started hesitantly. “That con you mentioned…” His voice trailed off, just thinking about doing this again made his skin crawl. He couldn’t be sure in what exactly he would get dragged in again. How badly would Laurent screw him over this time? What would be the causalities? His stomach dropped and he let his spoon sink to the table, suddenly losing the little appetite he previously had.
Laurent’s face grew serious as soon as he heard the voice of the younger seeing him struggle through the words. “Let me stop you right there,” he started to interfere before any misunderstanding could arise. ”I never said it would be a con. I said that I want you to come to Germany with me.”
Makoto stared at him with blank eyes “Yes, but the con is implied right? What else would you need me for?” He tried to go with sarcasm but his voice cracked at the last part and it came off more hurt than he was comfortable with.
“Maybe we should talk about this back at the apartment,” Laurent suggested his voice soft and there it was again, the face that Makoto couldn’t place. What was Laurent thinking? Was he pitying him? He scoffed and clenched his hands into fists on the table. “If it isn’t a secret, why can’t we talk about it here?” Makoto was irritated. He was tired, his routine of self-hatred and despair was disrupted and he wasn’t sure where he would be 24 hours from now.
Laurent sighed, he seemed unwilling as if he was contemplating something before finally deciding on what to say next. “Alright,” the blond said, “I don’t need your help with a con, I am not lying this time. I…” he paused, his eyes landing on Makotos statue. “I want to help you,” he almost whispered before rushing on.
“Makoto you must realize that you’re not doing too great. And we agree that you staying here, with the recent events and memories isn’t an ideal situation. We think it would be best to remove you from the location of your recent… action and try to ease you into a more normal life. We could talk more about that cafe idea you mentioned yesterday.” He smiled weakly and reached for Makotos hand over the table only to hesitate in the last moment and pulling his hand back again.
Makoto didn't know what to think about this sudden change of heart from Laurent. He had been burned too many times before to trust him completely, but he also couldn't deny that the idea of starting fresh somewhere else was tempting. He looked down at his hand and wondered if he could really walk away from everything he had ever known. But then again, what did he really have left here? He had burned all his bridges. But after a moment the words fully sank in.
“We are thinking?” he asked hoarsely. How dare Laurent, how dare all of them to decide what’s best for him after everything they had put him through. He never wanted to be part of any of that. They never even deemed it necessary for him to know the actual plan. “So you decide to take pity on me and rescue me once again, is that it? Look at the little Edamame, he can’t even take care of himself. Wouldn’t it be so great if I can rescue him?” His voice grew in volume as he imitated Laurent and quite a few of the restaurant guests around them looked up to stare at the odd pair, seeing what all the commotion was about.
Laurent's face fell at Makoto's outburst, hurt and guilt flashing across his features, before he masked his features carefully again. He had expected some resistance, but he had hoped that Makoto would at least consider the possibility of leaving Tokyo and starting fresh somewhere else. He had only ever wanted to help him, to make things right after what he had put him through. But Makoto had a point, he couldn't just make decisions for him. He would have to convince him, to show him that this was the best course of action.
Makoto took a deep breath, his anger dissipating leaving only emptiness and tiredness. He took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm just tired of people making decisions for me. I just wish I had more control over my life."
Laurent nodded, understanding shining in his eyes. "I know, mon Cherie. But sometimes we need to let others help us. It doesn't mean we're weak, it just means we need a little assistance." He reached across the table and took Makoto's hand in his own. "I'll be here for you, every step of the way. We'll figure this out together."
Makoto flinched at the skin-to-skin contact. He started at their joined hands, Laurent’s slightly bigger than his but still soft, before retreating his hand from Laurent’s slowly. “Let’s get back, I’m tired.” He didn’t even bother to finish his food, he hadn’t been hungry to begin with, and just left the little restaurant, trusting Laurent to do the right thing and pay for their meals. As he was heading down the street he could feel Laurent rushing to keep up with him.
“Where are you going? Your apartment is in the other direction”
Makoto shot him an annoyed stare and continued his walk. “I need a cigarette,” he felt void of any emotions, any thought but he was sure the nicotine would be able to pull him out of this pit, at least for a short moment.
Laurent looked as if he wanted to argue but ultimately kept his mouth closed and followed him.
They walked in silence, Makoto lost in his own thoughts and Laurent seemingly content to let him be. As they arrived back at the apartment building, Makoto hesitated before turning to Laurent. "Thank you," he said softly. "For everything today."
Laurent smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Of course, mon Cherie. Anytime you need me, I'll be here."
Makoto nodded, his eyes downcast. "Let’s see about that," he murmured before turning and entering the building.
Without any regard for the other man Makoto went to his futon still and lay down. At least his room was clean now, one less thing to worry about. He reached for the freshly purchased cigarettes and lightened his second one from the box, the first had been consumed on the way back home. He sighed and closed his eyes. If he thought more about it it was funny really. Hadn’t he longed for something like this? For someone to notice him and help? So why did he feel so empty still? Why hadn’t anything changed, now that Laurent apparently showed remorse of his actions? Why couldn’t he get on with his stupid life?
He took another drag and started at the ceiling. It truly was funny how his life had turned out and he couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Here we go again,’ he thought to himself.
“You know, I don’t think I am capable of ever trusting anyone again. Not completely at least,” the words left his mouth without his permission but it was too late now. He didn’t remove his eyes from the ceiling to see Laurents reaction, but he could see the man stiffen in his periphery. The blond was sitting next to his futon but far enough away so that Makoto wouldn’t feel crowded.
The younger closed his eyes and took another drag before continuing to speak. He might as well get done with it once and for all as long as he had the courage. “I just…- You never…. You know?” he stuttered, not making any sense and getting frustrated with himself. His thoughts were racing now and he was trying to catch up but at the same time, his body showed no reaction to the turmoil going on within him. His mind and his emotions were separated from each other, unable to communicate, leaving him emotionally empty but with too much going on at the same time.
”I did trust you,” he whispered and his voice cracked. And damn, this one sentence did it, his walls started to crumble and he could feel a single tear escaping his closed eyes. He breathed out harshly and covered his eyes with his arm, still holding the burning cigarette in his hands.
“I trusted you, but you never trusted me. You used me over and over again and I - I don’t know if I can do it again, Laurent. I’m not a tool. Maybe I was one back then but now I am broken and not useful anymore and I can't. I just can’t, nothing seems like it’s worth it anymore. I trusted you over and over again and you, all of you, betrayed me over and over again. And I can’t, I can’t go on.” He was full-on crying now, the tears a steady stream and sobs escaping him between the words. The words he had refused to admit even to himself.
He felt the forgotten cigarette being plucked from his fingers and this simple act made him cry even harder. His breath came in little hiccups at this point. Makoto felt pathetic. When was the last time he had actually cried? Ever since that night on the yacht, he had felt nothing else but emptiness and now he was in danger of being drowned by his emotions coming onto him all at once. He didn’t want this but there was nothing he could do to regain control, it was once again out of his reach.
Laurent sat there, listening to Makoto's sobs and feeling helpless. He had never been good with emotions, never sure how to navigate them. But he knew he couldn't just sit there and do nothing. He tentatively reached out and rested his hand on Mokoto’s hair, slowly stroking it. He didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. All he could do was be there for Makoto, to offer him comfort and support. Makoto cried for what felt like hours, his emotions finally breaking free from their cage. Eventually, he fell asleep, exhaustion overtaking him. Laurent stayed there, carefully shifting to a lying position on the floor next to the futon his hand never leaving Makoto’s hair, unwilling to let go just yet.
Laurent lay there, watching over Makoto as he slept. He couldn't help but feel guilty for what he had put the younger man through, for the pain and suffering he had caused. This had never been his intention, if he had known how much the con truly affected Edamame he would have thought of another way, right? Truthfully he wasn’t sure. He had been so obsessed with avenging Dorothy, with making them pay for what they had done. He had lost himself on the way almost being manic for revenge and apparently he had also lost Makoto.
He knew he couldn't undo the past, but he could try to make things right, to be there for Makoto now as he worked through his emotions and tried to heal. He made a silent promise to himself to be a better friend, to be someone Makoto could trust and rely on. And maybe, just maybe, they could both find some semblance of peace in this chaotic world they lived in. He didn’t dare to hope for anything more for that, any lingering feeling on his side would be his problems and he decided there and then not to burden the younger man with it.
As he watched Makoto sleep, Laurent's mind drifted to their conversation at the restaurant. He had meant what he said, he wanted to help Makoto start fresh somewhere else. But he knew he needed to approach the situation delicately, to earn Makoto's trust before he could convince him to leave everything behind.
He decided to start by researching potential locations for them to move to. Originally he had just planned to take Makoto to his house in the alps but Makoto had mentioned a cafe, so he thought he could look into areas with a thriving cafe culture. It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford to buy another house or apartment somewhere else. As he pulled out his laptop, he made sure to keep his movements quiet so as not to disturb Makoto's slumber.
Scrolling through various websites and articles, he couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of a new adventure with Makoto. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he was determined to make it work.
Hours passed of him researching and planning, until eventually, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Makoto's bleary-eyed gaze on him.
"What are you doing?" Makoto asked, his voice still hoarse from crying earlier.
Laurent smiled softly. "Just doing some research. I thought we could start looking at potential places for us to move to."
Makoto's eyes widened in surprise. "You're serious about this?"
Laurent nodded. "I am. I want to help you start fresh somewhere else, where you can leave all of this behind and focus on building a new life for yourself."
Makoto looked at him for a moment his eyes darting to Laurent’s hand that was lying on his pillow, before nodding slowly. "Okay." The word was quiet, soft. It wasn’t a defeat, he still didn’t trust the other, actually, he was far from it, but he was willing to at least try. Laurent was right when he said Makoto couldn’t continue like this.
Laurent felt a weight lift off his shoulders at Makoto's words. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he was willing to do whatever it took to help Makoto.
"Great," he said, closing his laptop. "Let's get some rest for now. We can start looking at potential locations tomorrow."
Makoto nodded, still looking a bit dazed. "Thank you, Laurent. For everything." Maybe it had been his ‘breakdown’ this morning or the tedious task of cleaning or his crying session a few hours ago but Makoto felt lighter somehow.
Laurent smiled, placing a hand on Makoto's shoulder. "Of course, mon Cherie. I'll always be here for you."
As they settled back into their respective spots, Laurent couldn't help but come a bit closer. They weren’t cuddling but he was close enough to reach out to the younger if he wanted to and he felt a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to move forward together.