Chapter Text
That morning was a whirlwind of requisitions, setting duty rosters, and plotting out the dozen requests for help they picked up at the Crossroads. They tried to find a quick moment to eat. Cassandra’s orders. The Seeker needed them at their best.
Liinnae tried her best to stay out of the way with busy work. Weapons and supplies were checked, and re-checked. Healing potions, and lyrium potions were refilled and packed.
Busy work only lasts so long. When there was nothing left for her to do, she stood to the side so she wouldn’t be in the way.
“Herald,” a short, blond soldier saluted her. She wished they wouldn’t salute. “We got word of a cult in the hills that you might want to check out.”
“Oh. Um... ” Liinnae fidgeted with the silver ring on her finger. “I think you should talk to Cassandra about that.”
There were more soldiers who approached her with questions she didn’t know the answer to. They were also sent to Cassandra.
Cassandra’s patience wore thin with all of the interruptions. These were simple tasks. The Herald should have dealt with them. Every time Cassandra looked up at the Herald, she was standing off to the side watching others work.
“Lets move,” Cassandra all but snapped at her when they were ready to leave camp.
Closing the rifts was becoming easier with practice. There was a lot of practice. What wasn’t getting easier, was dealing with the demons that emerged from the rifts. They had to clear those demons before she could close the rifts.
The small group fell into a pattern after a while. Cassandra would get the attention of as many demons as she could. Solas would freeze any who went after someone else, then call lightning down to attack the demon Cassandra was currently slashing at.Varric would unleash a volley of bolts. Liinnae would remember the spell to throw a barrier around Cassandra to protect her from blows. Sometimes. Sometimes she would remember.
The demons always stayed close to the rift. This made them easier to kill. The rift would pulsate. More demons would come through. They would cut them down. Liinnae would use the mark on her hand to close the rift.
Now, there was only one more rift in the area left to close. There were fewer demons here, but they were the stronger ones. They hadn’t encountered more than one or two of the stronger demons at one time before.
The despair demon floated and bounced around near the rift. Tendrils of cold and ice followed in its wake. The terror demon strode between rocks, hunting. The rage demon smoldered and spit fire at anything that moved.
Cassandra gave everyone specific tasks that would result in clearing the demons quickly, and with little injury. It would take work and coordination during the fight, but sticking to the plan would make it easy.
Liinnae tried to follow Cassandra’s instructions. They weren’t difficult. Stand by the boulder. Cast a barrier when needed. Freeze or panic a demon if it went after anyone but Cassandra.
She called down a fireball on the rage demon. That only angered it enough to come after her. The rage demon set her robe on fire before Solas killed it. Solas was able to quickly put out the fire on her robe.
A terror demon crawled up from under her and knocked her down. She couldn’t remember the order the words to her barrier spell went in. The terror demon slashed deep cuts into her chest. Ablow that should have been absorbed by the barrier - had she been able to cast it. It took all her healing potions just to stop the bleeding. Cassandra sank her sword deep into the terror demon’s back.
The fight wasn’t going to plan, but it still wasn’t terrible. But if she could get the rift closed now before the other demons came through, they wouldn’t have to deal with even more of these stronger demons.
Liinnae climbed on top of a nearby boulder where line of sight to the rift was better. She raised her hand with the mark toward the rift. The power from the mark streamed toward the rift, connecting her to it.
The rift pulsated and shuddered.
Another despair demon, two rage demons, and a terror demon came through. It was too soon to deal with more demons. They hadn’t finished off the last wave.
A cold blast from the despair demon sent her flying backward off the boulder. Her staff clattered to the ground out of her reach. Liinnae could barely move. Could barely breathe. She was vaguely aware of scooting across the ground on her side toward her staff.
The attempt at closing the rift not only brought more demons, but they turned their attention to her.
The ground beneath her rumbled. The terror demon clawed its way up from the ground beneath her.
Linnae reached her staff.
Barrier. Barrier. Why was remembering this stupid spell so hard for her!
The terror demon raised its claw to slash at her. Cassandra dove between Liinnae and the demon with her shield raised. The claw hit against Cassandra’s shield with a screech and a thud.
Now they had to work to protect the Herald.
Cassandra stood in front of Liinnae, shield raised. The demons pressed against them, clawing and spitting fire, trying to get to the Herald.
Cassandra fell back enough to put the Herald between a tall boulder and her shield. That way demons couldn’t surprise them from behind.
If Cassandra could keep the attention of the demons on them, Varric and Solas could pick them off one by one.
A rage demon broke away when Varric unleashed bolt after bolt into it. It came at him, angry fire swirling around it, fire thrown in every direction. Varric’s leap to get out of the demon’s way was too late. The fire it spat at him caught the entire right side of him on fire.
Solas was able to put the fire out, but there was no time to administer healing potions. The best he could do was heal him enough to keep the pain away for awhile.
The rage demon was taken care of with a powerful blast of ice from Solas’ staff.
The despair demon turned its attention to Solas. Froze him with a blat of ice of its own. A terror demon crawled from beneath him and knocked him backward. Solas couldn’t protect himself from the claws of the terror demon while frozen.
Varric and Solas worked on pulling demons off of Cassandra and the Herald one by one to finish off. It didn’t always work that way. Twice they caught the attention of two demons, once they caught the attention of three. Working on killing more than one demon at a time opened them up to more injuries, some of them severe.
Varric’s nose was broken. Solas was pretty sure his arm was broken. Varric had a puncture wound in his shoulder that went all the way through. Solas had a deep gouge in his chest. Varric had slices and bruises down one of his legs. Solas’ chest had deep purple bruises forming, and it was becoming hard for him to breathe.
Two left.
The remaining terror demon crawled from beneath the two women, knocking them apart. The demon slashed at Cassandra before she could get her shield raised. The claw caught her across the cheek. Another slash across her leg.
“Cassandra!” Liinnae ran to her and tried to throw a barrier over her, to no avail She looked to Solas for help. His pressing concern at the moment was the last fear demon spitting fire at him. He couldn’t help her.
“Get back,” Cassandra commanded her.
They were fighting and almost dying to protect her. She couldn’t just sit back and watch!
Liinnae grabbed the spellbook she carried on her belt. The spellbook was dropped to the ground; she fell to her knees. The spellbook was whipped open. The pages flipped quickly through spells looking for the one she needed. The one that eluded her all day.. The barrier spell.
Cassandra had her shield up. She was protected enough. Liinnae cast a barrier over Solas and Varric just as a fountain of fire shot toward them.
The pages flipped quickly again. Lighting struck at the terror demon, paralyzing it long enough for Cassandra to get to her feet.
The pages flipped frantically. She couldn’t find it. The ice spell Solas used before on that other demon. Where was it? There. Toward the back. Her heart sank. Why would anyone create a spell so long?
Liinnae exhausted her mana attempting the ice spell. The rage demon was slowing down, it’s fire not as potent. Solas and Varric almost had it dead.
Cassandra struggled to stay on her feet. The blood from the gash in her leg pooled around her. Still, Cassandra slashed and stabbed at the demon.
She didn’t have the mana for spells, but she could still help. Liinnae ran toward the terror demon with her staff raised. The demon roared when she struck it. She hit it, over and over. Cassandra shouted and stabbed it one last time. The demon lay dead on the ground.
The demons were all dead.
Solas and Varric limped toward Cassandra. Liinnae gathered all the healing potions and rushed toward them. Their injuries depleted all of the healing potions they had. Solas’ used up every lyrium potion they had to in order to have the mana required for the type of healing magic he needed to use.
“Close the rift!” The harshness in Cassandra’s voice didn’t come from pain.
Liinnae knew she messed up. She knew her mistake caused their serious injuries, and the several close calls. They blamed her. She blamed her. It was her fault. The looks on everyone’s faces just confirmed that.
If it weren’t for the mark on her hand giving her power to close the rifts, Liinnae would be completely useless. Instead of only mostly useless.
With the rift closed, they made their way toward one of the many abandoned campsites that scattered the countryside.
There they rested. They looked over one another’s wounds to make sure nothing serious remained.
The slash across Cassandra’s cheek would leave a scar. The burn injuries to Varric would leave his entire right hand scarred. Solas wouldn’t let her near him. From the slash in his tunic, though, she guessed that he, too, would carry a mark from the fight.
All three would forever have reminders that she almost got them killed.
They restored their strength with food. They searched the campsite for any supplies that might have been left from their previous occupant.
They did the same at every abandoned campsite they came across on their way to investigate the cult in the hills. One campsite even had an old mage robe. It was plain, dirty, and had a few holes in it. But it was definitely better than the burnt, torn one she currently wore.
The others were rightfully angry at her. Liinnae tried to stay out of their way as much as possible
The abandoned campsites often had personal effects left behind. While the others looked for anything useful, Liinnae took to reading through the personal letters and journals that were left behind. The stories of these people that would die and degrade over time with the pages they were written on.
A few love letters and tear-stained goodbyes she folded up and placed at the bottom of her bag.
The cult they were to investigate made its home in an abandoned castle. The people were friendly if not a bit odd. They worshipped the rifts. A sign from the Maker she overheard them tell Cassandra.
They even had their own rift at the far end of the castle. The rift they might not have minded, but the demons that came through were dangerous and needed cleared.
Cassandra, Solas, and Varric fought the demons while she stood far enough away, on Cassandra’s order, so she wouldn’t get hurt. Wouldn’t get the others hurt. The guilt gnawed at her as she watched.
Demons dead; Liinnae closed the rift.
The cultists bowed before her. Before the one the Maker gave the power to close the rifts. They begged her to tell them how they could serve her.
Liinnae looked to the others for help. The two men had left her. They greatly disapproved of the praise showered upon her.
“Help the refugees.” Cassandra, again, stepped up when Liinnae didn’t.
On their way out of the castle, they were stopped by a young noble, Berand. He was seeking any information anyone might have on his love. A woman named Vallina. The noble grew more worried every day Vellina hadn’t arrived.
“I am sorry, Lord Berand. We did not see anyone matching her description or going by that name.” Cassandra placed her hand on his arm. A small gesture of sympathy.
Vallina. That name sounded familiar. From one of the letters she picked up. “Yes we did. I did, I mean. Sort of.” Linnae dug around in her bag and pulled out the letter she was looking for.“There was a campsite just south of here. I found this next to...next to her body.”
Bernard took the letter with shaking hands. His head shook in disbelief as he read over the letter. “These are her words, but…” Lord Berand read it again. He hoped that he read it wrong. Or the words would be different.
“Vellina.” He wept her name as he once more read his love’s last words to him. “We were going to go to the Maker’s side together. What am I going to do now?”
“The Inquisition could use good, compassionate men.” Cassandra stepped in without a pause to see if Liinnae would step up.
Lord Berand would honor his love by serving others, in the Inquisition.
None of them even glanced her way as they left the cult’s castle.
They made camp just after dark. Cassandra, Solas, and Varric set to raising tents, building the fire pits, greeting Inquisition soldiers who would be keeping camp from now on, and any other task needing done.
They worked around her. Her offers of help were ignored, or she was told to stay out of the way.
There were a few soldiers who had joined them so far. They worked while trying to ignore the coiling tension between the Herald and the others. A few tried to talk with her, but conversations were tense, uncomfortable, and they quickly ran out of things to say.
Dinner was no different. Cassandra, Solas, and Varric traded stories with the soldiers that joined them throughout the day. They talked over her, and around her as though she weren’t there.
Varric handed her a bowl of stew. He may be upset with her, but he wasn’t going to let the girl starve. The stew was thick with nuggets of grey meat that she poked with her spoon. Her stomach lurched.
“I’m not hungry,” she murmured and put her bowl on the ground. No one even looked at her. Nor did they look up at her when she said she was going for a walk.
The nighttime landscape glowed under the light of the full moons. The stars twinkled and danced in merriment. The chorus of crickets chirped their night music. A far away owl hooted. The light breeze tousled locks of hair that came loose from the bun she always wore. The gravel crunched under the weight of her feet. The night was the perfect hideaway for Liinnae’s tears.
The small clearing was perfect to tuck herself away into. A downed tree made for a surprisingly comfortable seat. The tall bushes surrounding the clearing gave her a bit of privacy.
A soft green light grew more intense as she slowly removed the glove from her left hand to reveal the mark.
Liinnae sat and just looked at the green slash across her palm. She watched the magic of the mark pulse a heartbeat - her other hand rested above her heart - a heartbeat different from her own.
This would have fascinated her under different circumstances.
Different circumstances being someone else had the mark embedded into their hand.
Only seventeen and she was expected to help save the world. That’s what the mark meant. No one really knew what the mark was or how she got it. But she was supposed to save the world with it. That’s what everyone told her over and over again. That’s what everyone was depending on her to do.
Maybe it would have been better if she’d died in the explosion or never made it out of the Fade.
“It is fascinating, isn’t it?” Solas looked down at Liinnae’s hand from over her shoulder.
Liinnae sprang to her feet and turned to face him. “Solas.” She didn’t know if she should be relieved or not. “You startled me. I didn’t hear you walk up.”
Solas walked around the downed tree to join her in the middle of the clearing.
He took her hand bearing the mark in his; it was smaller than he expected it to be. The light touch of his fingers on her palm followed the outline of the mark on her hand.
The future of all the world resting in such small hands.
The light of the mark illuminated Solas’ face from below. The soft light played along the lines of his jaw, and the shadows rested in the dimples of his furrowed brow. Solas gets brow dimples when he thinks. Her amused smile was fleeting.
He was rather handsome. A night like this did resemble those scenes between would-be lovers in those romance novels her Keeper hated her reading. Liinnae’s face flushed and breathing hitched when she realized what was playing through her mind. Her pulse quickened when she revisited the fact that she found Solas attractive.
She was thankful the mark’s pulse didn’t match her own.
Solas knew she was watching him. Studying him as he studied the mark on her hand. Letting her study him while he pretended his attention was still on her hand. His other senses shifted toward her. He heard the small gasp when her breath paused. He felt her pulse quicken. He sensed the heat from her flushed cheeks.
The light from the mark fluctuated.
Solas lowered her hand and looked up into her eyes. He realized he’d never actually looked into her eyes before. Doe-eyes; deep turquoise, thick lashes that fluttered with her breathing, outlined with smudged kohl, streaked where her tears fell. The breeze blew loose strands of hair across her eyes. Hair darker than the night sky. He’d never truly looked at her before.
Solas fought the sudden urge to dry her eyes and push her hair out of her face.
There they stood for several long moments. Her small hand lying in his. Their eyes flicking back and forth searching the other’s. Her eyes were easy to read, fear, confusion, guilt.
There was a quick flash behind those surface emotions that caught his attention.. Something he couldn’t pin down long enough to examine. Afraid to show itself.
Liinnae tensed when the intensity in Solas’ eyes shifted. He was studying her before, like she was him. Now...now she felt like his prey.
The green light of the mark fluctuated again when he brought her hand up further between them.
“Do you believe you were chosen?” His eyes bored into hers.
“I - I don’t want to be.” Especially right now. “I wish it had chosen someone else.” Liinnae tugged her hand from his. This was not a conversation she wanted to have.
Her hand wasn’t free for long. Solas caught her by the wrist before she moved too far away from him.
“Solas!” Liinnae called out in surprise and pulled at her wrist.
Solas held her wrist tightly and pulled her to him so she was looking in his eyes. “No. You are not.”
Linnae forgot about her trapped wrist. She was now confused. “Wh...what are you…”
“You are a spoiled, selfish girl who would rather hide and burden others with your responsibilities. Your refusal to listen to those with more experience and learn how to use your magic properly nearly got us all killed. Your inability to make decisions reflects poorly on you, and the Inquisition.”
“Why are you saying these things to me?” The tears streamed down her face. Liinnae twisted her wrist to free it.
His fingers tightened around her. There were sure to be bruises in the morning.
“Solas, you’re hurting me.” She whimpered.
“You bear the mark, the ability to close rifts and seal the breach. Nothing special beyond that. This power affords you opportunities to make a difference. Yet you squander those opportunities with your whining. You are not chosen. You are a child who should be sent back to her clan.”
Liinnae pulled away at the same time Solas let get her go. She fell to the ground holding her sore wrist to her chest.
She watched him as he left the clearing, left her.
“What if I do the wrong thing and people die?” she asked him, not loud enough for him to hear her.
Liinnae was once again alone.
She dried her eyes on the sleeve of her robe, smudging her eye makeup even more. Quite the sight she would imagine. Her sitting on the ground of a clearing, messy hair falling from the bun, makeup smeared across her face, nose red and snotty, eyes wet and puffy. She used the same sleeve to wipe her nose.
The green light faded as she pulled her glove back on. The downed tree wasn’t as comfortable to lean against as it was to sit upon. The small clearing was suffocating. The night could no longer hide her tears.
The gravel once again crunched under the weight of her feet. The breeze blew her messy hair in her face. The owl’s hoot, a reprimand. The chirp of the crickets, a chorus of mockery. The dancing of the stars tormented her with their levity. The light of the full moons cast shadows that grasped at her.
The path wasn’t right. The treeline wasn’t where it was supposed to be. The owl was now quiet. The cricket’s chorus too far away. The light from the moons cast shadows pointing the wrong way.
She was lost.
Her body tensed. What was she going to do? She didn’t know her way around. The spike of adrenaline made her want to run. Her heart thrummed in her ears. Every rustle startled her.
A small, pink nug made her jump backward when he hopped from the bushes. Liinnae raised her staff to defend herself. From the harmless animal. She didn’t have her staff. She had left it at camp propped against the side of the requisitions table.
The pink nug sat in the middle of the path. Its nose twitched. It squeaked. It watched her while she breathed deeply to get her heart to stop pounding in her chest.
“Shoo. Go on.” Liinnae nudged the creature with her foot.
The small, pink nug squorked in protest. Its sharp little teeth sank into Liinnae’s ankle.
“Ow! You horrible little creature!” She shoved the nug off the path with her foot into the bushes.
Bit by a nug! Those things were supposed to be gentle.
Even through her robe, the gravel of the path dug into knee when she knelt to examine the bite. Painful. Bleeding. Liinnae hoped the nug didn’t have any diseases. A handkerchief tied around the bite would have to do until she got back to camp to bandage it properly.
Lost. At night. In an unfamiliar land. By herself. Without her staff. Yelled at by Solas. Her face and hair a mess from crying. Bit by a nug. Was there any way her day could get worse?
Liinnae froze when she felt the cold steel of a sword pressed to her throat. The sword’s wielder was out of sight and she didn’t dare move.
“What do we have here? A lost little elf?” The sword raised her chin making her look up. Templars. Four. No, five.
Now very much afraid, she trembled uncontrollably.
Forgetting her staff back at camp probably saved her life - they didn’t seem to recognize her as a mage. The templars would have killed her the moment they saw a staff. They tend to kill first and ask questions later.
The sword wielding templar lowered the sword. He adjusted the skirts of his armor so he could kneel down next to her. His hand grasped her chin, turned her head from side to side, examining her. “Very pretty.”
“For a knife-ear.” A second templar from behind her snorted.
“C’mon Sanders,” The third templar sounded irritated. “We know you like the pretty, young elves. If you’re going to fuck her, just get it over with already.”
“P-please, no.” Her voice shook with new sobs.
“Shut up, Roberts!” The templar called Sanders snapped. Sanders turned his attention back to her. “You’re all mussed. What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Sanders smoothed her hair, and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her face. “Did someone upset you?” The kindness would have been nice if there wasn’t the mocking tone in his voice.
Sanders’ hand squeezed her chin tighter, and jerked her head to look at him. “I asked you a question. It’s impolite to ignore a question.”
Liinnae nodded her head as much as she could in his grasp. “Yes.” She squeaked. Before she could stop herself the whole day came tumbling out in one jumbled, sob story. “My robe got burned and torn so I have to wear this dirty one. I messed up and almost got my companions killed, I messed up again and they were even madder at me. I couldn’t remember any of my spells. They wouldn’t let me help set up camp. Probably for the better I would have messed that up, too. No one talked to me at dinner. They pretended I didn’t exist. Solas yelled at me. He hurt my wrist and left me alone. People expect me to do things I can’t do. They want me to be someone I’m not. I took the wrong path and I ended up lost. I’ve never been to the Hinterlands before so I don’t know where I am. A nug scared me. I tried to shoo it away with my staff but I couldn’t because I don’t have my staff because I forgot it at camp. The nug snorked and bit me. I don’t know if it had any diseases or not. And then you found me. And I’m tired. I’m hungry. And my wrist hurts. And my ankle hurts. And I’m useless. My eyes hurt from crying. I don’t want to cry anymore .I couldn’t help anyone even if I tried. And I’m alone. And I’m so scared. Scared of everything that has happened. Scared of everything that is happening. Scared of what will happen. I’m scared of you and what you are going to do to me, of what he said you want to do to me. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Liinnae buried her head in her hands and broke down into tears. Somewhere in her long rambling story, Sanders had let go of her chin.
The five templars just stood there, stunned, and stared. Every few moments she could hear the metal of their armor rustle when one would shift his weight in the now uncomfortable silence.
Roberts laughed and clapped Sanders on the shoulder. “Looks like your new toy here’s a mage. Those are fun to break. They always use their magic to try and get free. They should really know better. One spell purge and there’s nothing they can do. Sure they might struggle. But that’s the fun of it.”
“Shut up, Roberts.” Sanderson’s voice barely above a whisper. Of all the things that could have possibly happened… He didn’t know what to do with that unfettered display of emotion. He certainly didn’t know what to do with her now.
He expected fear, yes. He wanted her tears. Making them scared and crying was always fun. He liked the way fear reflected in their eyes when they cried.
Usually.
Not this one, not now, not like this, anyway.
Liinnae shook her head and cried harder. “P-please…”
“See? She wants it. But hurry it up, man. I want a turn. Her bawling has me hard.”
“No…” she cried.
“Roberts. Shut. Up. Or I’ll shut you up myself.”
The second templar pulled Roberts away by the arm. “C’mon man leave him alone.”
“Hey,” The fourth templar stood behind Sanders. “We should get going. Find a place to set up for the night. We need to get an early start in the morning if we’re going to be able to report in before midday.”
Sanders nodded in acknowledgement without taking his eyes off the trembling girl in front of him.
“Come on.” Sanders took her by the arm and pulled her up with him when he stood. He wasn’t hurting her so she didn’t pull away. She didn’t know if she had the strength to anyway.
The handkerchief was the same one he wiped her eyes with before. Sanders didn’t look at her when he pressed it into her hand.
The six of them walked in silence. The gravel of the path crunched under their heavy boots. The owl dared not make a sound. The chorus of crickets had fallen silent. There was no breeze to brush her tear-wetted hair from her face. The stars were dimmer. The setting moons cast just enough light for them to see the path.
The second templar broke the silence. “What’s a squork?”