Chapter Text
Some of the appointments weren’t nearly as clear. Luna couldn’t count the amount of sessions she had with Raven just to complete her right sleeve one tiny addition at a time. None of these sessions prepared her to be sitting across from Raven in a booth at a diner waiting for their food. Luna dared a glance at Raven, not surprised to see a judging expression, and crossed arms. A smirk slipped onto Raven’s face. “What? Not used to going out with pretty women?”
The real thought flitting through Luna’s head was that if she hadn’t seen Raven throughout these years, she would’ve thought Raven was completely out of place at the greasy roadside diner with her immaculate suit with her sleeves rolled up, as she leaned forward on the table with her elbows. Luna was acutely aware of the tattoos she herself had inked into Raven’s skin anywhere that would be covered under business attire.
The memory of their first meeting stood stark in Luna’s brain although it should not have by any means. It wasn’t any different. Just another teenager who just turned eighteen getting her first tattoo, eager, bright faced, and very open to the idea of letting a newer tattoo artist do the job. Titus stood over her, watching her work for a good portion of the piece, making sure his apprentice wasn’t doing something crazy. She felt he had never trusted her quite like some of his other pupils.
Except, from the moment the girl walked into the store, every second was ingrained within Luna’s brain. Dreads tied up behind her, Luna’s lip twitched as Raven (as Luna had learnt from the obligatory ID check), started talking. “Wow, your tattoos are really intricate.” It didn’t surprise Luna in the least that Raven chose the tattoos as a conversation starter. Most everyone did upon seeing her inked up skin.
Nodding, Luna barely breaks her concentration as she murmurs, “Yeah, I do most of them myself.”
“Damn you must have one hell of a pain tolerance! I have a pretty high pain tolerance too!” Raven boasted. Then she paused as if waiting for Luna to try to top her.
Luna wasn’t one to play into the game. Instead she attempted to change the topic by using a loose, general, wise sounding phrase. “Physical pain is nothing in the face of emotional pain.”
Raven sobered a little at that, still smiling but in a way that showed pain. “I know.”
In response Luna only nods gravely. Her job was creating art using the body as a canvas. Despite friendliness helping client loyalty, it still did not mean that Luna wanted to hear the life story of every single client. She was no therapist.
Apparently, Raven was one of those who thought she was a therapist. “My parents weren’t around, and I thought I’d never know anything close to happiness until I met Finn.” Her face visibly brightens as she says the guy’s name, and very quickly it devolves into a ramble about how lovable Finn (who was apparently her boyfriend), was despite being silly.
The way Raven spoke of her boyfriend Finn reminded Luna of Derrick. He had been a calm guy, quiet like her. Their highschool years had been tough, but when it was just the two of them hiding out in an empty classroom during lunch despite what rules said, silence was comforting.
Except Derrick had been wonderful but impermanent. She still remembered the hot day in May where they had stood long after school ended, smoking while leaning against Derrick’s car. He turns to look her in the eye sincerely, waiting for her to look at him as well.
“If you want to kiss me you don’t have to ask”, Luna said, rolling her eyes. Fierce in her own right, she would never allow for Derrick to go soft on her.
Derrick shook his head. His eyes seemed sadder than usual. “I’m going to Germany for University.”
It took a few seconds to hit. Although her heart wept on the inside, Luna simply nodded, leaning back against the car and taking another puff from the cigarette as she squinted into the setting sun. She ought to have expected, she thinks. Like anything in her life this was too good to be true. They’d talked about a life together, dreamt of it in their times within each other’s arms. She wouldn’t be the girl who said, “What? We had a plan.” She refused to cry, face turning to stone.
“Following your dreams is important.” Her gut told her to whip around and say she was joking and ask him to stay. With the self restraint of a warrior, Luna refused her heart its greatest wish in that moment. After all during their entire highschool experience, he had followed her lead, even quitting the wrestling team (despite her protests) to join her in the art club.
“Yeah…” he trails off, and she can see his gaze boring into her. Luna knows he wants her to ask him to stay and knows that he would if she only asked.
Never a romantic guy, Derrick had always shown his dedication in a silent way. In this moment, as the lead she felt a need to let him go and find who he was without her. Letting him be her lackey forever would be a mistake. He’d always wanted more, more than the state college, more than their dingy little town. More than her.
For weeks, she didn’t quite understand what she did wrong. Then, as she walked down the street on the day he was to leave, Luna finally understood.
“I can’t believe my baby boy got into the music program!” his Mom wailed as she wouldn’t let him go. The way he grinned told Luna her answer. Nothing was done wrong in their relationship. Maybe she had thought he’d be the love of her life, but he was just the love of her life so far. It was time to let Derrick discover who he was without her. He would always be her first love and nothing could change that.
In the end, she never bid him goodbye, knowing the pain for both of them would be too much to bear. Instead she pivoted on her heel, sprinting away back to the school, knowing there would be no peace to be found at home.
Staring into the eyes of Raven present day, she realized there really was no comparison. Not of Finn to Derrick, nor Derrick to Raven.
Giving a small smile Luna shook her head to Raven’s question. “No, I just didn’t expect this to be where you took me.” Not sure why she had accepted Raven’s request in the first place, Luna felt reassured. This was a diner she frequented after sleeping in on Sundays.
“How’d you know?” she asks when Raven only smirks triumphantly in response.
Shrugging, Raven simply says, “I do my homework before I ask people out on dates.” At this moment, Raven seems so nonchalant and unbothered Luna has to blink a few times to comprehend what was said instead of focusing on staring at Raven.
“If you hired somebody to stalk me you could just say so”, Luna answered. All her life she’s preferred the truth rather than implications or misleading.
“Oh please, that implies I don’t have the ability to find information on you myself. I don’t need to stalk somebody to get a date”, Raven rolled her eyes light heartedly. Despite the smile still on Raven’s face Luna knew she had struck a nerve. In fact, Luna thinks that maybe the opposite of what Raven had said was true. Perhaps it wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted a date after Finn.
Once again, her knowledge was based on a tattoo.
The second tattoo was a tattoo of mourning. The letter F was placed inside of an astronaut’s helmet above her heart. Raven cried silently as she watched Luna this time, requesting a day which she should definitely have been in school.
It was one of those last weeks before public schools got out for the summer. The heat was unbearable that day, and Luna remembered Raven coming in in a tank top and Luna wishing she had chosen something similar. Instead, having left her home early when the early morning dew still reflected the light, she wore long and loose clothing. Although it was rather light, she still wished she had worn something more fit for the weather. It was going to be one heck of a trek home in the clothes she was wearing.
Raven’s gaze watched unwavering as she took in every stroke, and every drop of ink as if her life depended on it.
Her eyes were broken and sad. She didn’t sob, didn’t ask to stop, and Luna felt the need to stop for her sake. Except when she asked, Raven simply shook her head and demanded, “Let’s continue.”
Figuring that there was no harm as long as Raven wasn’t in physical pain, Luna continued, immensely aware of every tear that trailed off of Raven’s cheeks.
As Luna finished with one last swipe, she looked up into Raven’s eyes for the first time, and Raven’s eyes widened, perhaps never expecting Luna to ever look up with such conviction. “Sometimes we don’t have to be able to get over it. Just accepting it in your own time is enough.”
In that moment, something lit up in Raven’s eyes as she stared back, pain giving way to a brightness that only shined as bright as a diamond when beaten down again and again. “What do you know about pain?” Then she stormed off to the front desk, where she tapped her foot impatiently with a scowl. Luna slowly cleaned her things, making sure everything was in place before ambling over to process the payment. Calmness was perhaps one of the greatest virtues Luna learned throughout the years; that and patience.
After paying for the tattoo, Raven practically stormed out. That’s when Luna finally smiled, knowing that Raven would be okay. The fire within her still burnt bright, even if that fire was sparked by anger right now. It would soon be directed towards better things. Losing a client was nothing if it meant making sure a person was coping better in this cruel world.