Chapter Text
A collection of writing of one Lady Zielle Bryseis, carefully curated. An accounting of moments. A prelude.
(A small pink book, with childish handwriting (in print).)
My tutor said I needed to write more as a lady is not to have messy letters. I don't know why it matters when Mother and Father's handwriting looks all like silly lines. How can people read that? Will I have to learn that next?
More tutors. More lessons. When can I go out and play again?
(Another small pink book with neater handwriting.)
Mother hopes that by keeping a journal the nerves attacks won't happen again. Father believes that learning to fight with swords is the answer. Both have decided to argue what I should do without me it seems. As a matter of fact, it seems that I rarely get to have a choice in anything g except what my favorite color…. That wasn't ladylike. Or kind. My parents are trying to help me, I know.
I got to meet some of the guards during training today. They reassured me the rules my parents stated were true which helped my nerves some. Although my nerves always seem to have another thing for me to worry about and I'm tired of it. I think they are all tired of it save for Rosette. At least I can protect her better now.
Lessons are nonstop now, it is coming close to my time to debute. Rosette is sitting in, oh how I wish it was her at times instead of I; she would enjoy it more. Perhaps I will be able to find love like in the chapbook Mother and Father gave me, An Enchanted Courtship.
(A lavender book with embroidery on the cover with a few well wishes and poems in different handwriting before pink elegant script.)
"To my sweet little Zi,
May this book help collect what helps your nerves.
With Love,
Father."
I will either find a way, or I will make one. - What Father says in our native tongue while practicing sword fighting.
Sometimes I worry that I am too damaged to love, regardless of how much training I have undergone to correct it. At least I can help Rosette, my perfect and sweet sister.
(A brown book with black ink and elegant script)
Suppose the worries of being a lady no longer matter to me now, as I will never have to hear the title again. Staying at a temple of Eilistraee, and met the goddess. She is beautiful and warm and everything I hope to be one day.
Sometimes at night I can hear Mothers words to protect my sister and the rest of my family's cries. At least they aren't hurting. I could never wish how I am surviving on them… trying to move on from what happened.
I am being sent to help another temple. From there I am supposed to take a break, although I have my doubts…
At the village to help. It is peaceful here. There is a gentleman by the name of Finare that is supposed to be dropping off supplies tomorrow, curious as he is highly talked about.