Chapter Text
Antonio felt anxious as they neared the restaurant. He had never been one for fancy meals and expensive food, but Feste had made the reservation and had assured him a good, proper date was the best way to show Sebastian his feelings. So he had agreed to go along with it.
But now, in front of the nicest seafood place in town, he felt his stomach tying itself into knots. Sebastian next to him looked at the restaurant in what seemed to be awe, and Antonio forced himself through his anxieties, walking up to the door.
He pulled it open, and the smell of seafood hit him as he did. It smelled… delicious, far better than most of his cooking, and Antonio gave Sebastian a smile. “After you.”
Sebastian gave Antonio an appreciative nod before walking in, and Antonio followed, closing the door behind them. He then stepped up to the counter.
“Do you have a reservation?” The employee asked, and Antonio nodded.
“We do. The reservation for Antonio.”
The employee checked something on their computer, and nodded after a moment. “Follow me.”
They picked up a few menus and began walking, with Antonio and Sebastian following behind them. Eventually, after a few moments, they arrived at their table, a small one next to a window. A candle was lit in the center, and Antonio and Sebastian both took a seat.
The employee left them for a moment, and Antonio tried to gauge Sebastion’s thoughts. The other man looked content, examining the menu for whatever he'd get for his dinner later. But after a few more seconds, he put down his menu and looked at Antonio, seeing the other man looking at him. Sebastian gave him a smile, and Antonio’s heart melted a little.
Before they could say much more, a waiter came up. “Could I get you anything to drink?”
Antonio shook his head. “Just water for me, please.”
Sebastian turned to the waiter. “I’ll also just have water. Thank you.”
The waiter nodded, leaving the two of them alone. And Antonio felt the silence, even if it didn’t really exist. The tension between them, even if it seemed to be imagined.
Almost of its own accord, Antonio found himself reaching for Sebastian over the table. Perhaps out of habit, and perhaps to comfort himself. But still, the other man took it in his own and squeezed it, giving Antonio a reassuring look.
“I know this isn’t much your usual style,” Sebastian said. “And I’m here for you. If you get overwhelmed or anything, we can leave.”
Antonio nodded, appreciative of Sebastian’s concern. It was rare he admitted ao anyone his tendency to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, but Sebastian had coaxed it out of him. And still, the other man’s presence was a calming one. One that Antonio could be around for hours and not feel tired.
“Thank you. But I want to do this, Sebastian.” Do this with you .
As they took a moment, Antonio noticed the water coming back, and quickly pulled his hand out of Sebastian’s grip. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hold the other man’s hand- much the opposite- but he was instead worried how they’d be perceived. An unfortunate thing he hadn’t yet gotten rid of was his fear of how others perceived him.
“Your waters.” The waiter set the glasses down on the table and then pulled out a notepad- the one they take orders on. “Now, what can I get for you?”
Sebastian spoke up first, reading off the menu. “Could I get your king salmon?”
The waiter nodded, taking Sebastian’s menu before turning to Antonio. “And for you?”
Antonio gave the menu another quick look before answering. “I’ll get the grilled albacore tuna.”
Another nod from the waiter, and they took Antonio’s menu as well. “I will have those out for you soon.”
With that, they left, and once again Antonio and Sebastian were left to their own devices. Antonio wasn’t really sure what to say, and Sebastian got on his phone, tapping away for a little bit. After a pause, Sebastian looked up at Antonio, not quite meeting his eyes.
“I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” And with that, he stood up and left for the bathroom, though Antonio noted the dusting of red on his cheeks. As if he were embarrassed, or flustered.
Antonio tried not to think of it much. He looked at his phone- apparently, Viola and Olivia were finally dating. He typed out a quick “congrats, Viola!” before setting that down.
Now, again, his thoughts drifted to Sebastian. How the man had looked a little nervous, almost, before he left, his eyes not meeting Antonio’s. And Antonio hoped , hoped that somehow Viola’s revelation would also spark something in Sebastian.
But that was wishful thinking, and selfish. Antonio would prefer to not be selfish. Or, at least that’s what he told himself, but still he hoped. He longed to feel Sebastian’s lips on his, to have Sebastian be his . But, of course, the other man wouldn’t want that, no matter how much he wished for it.
Perhaps, though. There was always the chance that Sebastian would recognise how much he loved him. After they were finished with dinner, Antonio intended to take him out on his boat and show him the sunset from the sea- a beautiful sight, and one that Sebastian would surely enjoy with his poet’s soul. Though he did worry Sebastian would be hesitant to embark on a boat again, when he’d brought the idea up previously Sebastian had been willing.
On that trip, watching the sun set over the sea, Antonio would talk to him. Take Sebastian’s hands in his own and tell him how his heart longed for him as a companion. To kiss him, to hold him. To know his body as if it were his own. And a part of him hoped that Sebastian would echo his sentiments, letting Antonio take the other man and love him.
But Antonio was snapped out of his thoughts by Sebastian returning, sitting across from him once more. His face was red, as if he was out of breath, and he gave Antonio a small smile.
“I’m back. Did you miss me?”
There was a small, teasing tone to his voice, almost. Nonetheless, Antonio found himself nodding.
“Of course. I worried your food may get here and I’d have to eat both our meals.”
As if one que, their waiter returned, bearing their dinner. They placed the plates in front of their respective people, and left quickly, leaving Antonio alone with Sebastian yet again.
The smell was… delicious. Absolutely better than anything Antonio could cook- and he was actually good with seafood!
He picked up his fork and got to eating his meal, as Sebastian did as well. It was… really good. Like, really good. Absolutely worth the money- though, to him, Sebastian was worth this and so much more.
Antonio looked up at Sebastian, giving him a thumbs-up. “What do you think?”
Sebastian finished his bite of salmon before responding. “Really good. Thank you, Antonio. For taking me out to dinner. I… really appreciate it.”
He looked away, face red with what Antonio assumed to be embarrassment. Antonio smiled a little at Sebastian before returning to his dinner, though.
They ate in silence, and it was fairly uneventful, even if it was really fucking good, in Antonio’s humble opinion. But pretty soon, it was over and Antonio signed the check, despite Sebastian’s insistence they should split the bill.
“This is a treat for you, Sebastian. I insist.” Antonio finished his illegible signature and gestured for the two of them to get up.
“Fine…” Sebastian got up, and Antonio could read the bit of guilt on his face. The other man seemed to feel as if he ought to pay for some of the meal, but Antonio was insistent.
Now that that was done, he offered his arm to Sebastian. “I have more planned for tonight, if you’ll have me?”
Sebastian nodded, taking the man’s arm. “I’d love to, my dearest.”
With that, the two walked out, and Antonio began leading Sebastian to the docks, where he… basically always left his boat. But today he’d gone out of his way to prepare it there earlier, especially for Sebastian.
“So, you enjoyed the meal?” Antonio asked, and Sebastian nodded.
“I did indeed. Thank you, my dear Antonio. I do truly treasure you.”
Antonio smiled at that, and reached over to Sebastian’s arm, squeezing it a little. “And I you, as you know.”
Sebastian nodded, and Antonio once again noticed a faint blush of pink on his cheeks. He looked good like that- very cute. It gave him hope that perhaps Sebastian could feel the same.
They walked in silence for a little bit, taking in the sights of Illyria. The town was gorgeous at this time, and the smell of the sea air comforted Antonio’s nerves. He was still worried Sebastian would be displeased with his plan, but as time passed, it seemed less and less likely.
Finally though, they arrived at the docks, where Antonio’s boat was docked. He gestured towards it. “If you’re willing, I had wanted to take you out on the sea, my beloved Sebastian. But if the water still brings back unpleasant memories, I understand.”
Sebastian hesitated a moment, but nodded. “I would like to, Antonio. I know you’re a man of the sea, and I would like to experience it with you. I… feel safe on it with you.”
Antonio nodded, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Alright. Do you need help getting in?”
Sebastian hesitated, but then nodded. “Yes. Please.”
Antonio hopped into his boat, the feeling of the sea around him comforting. But he extended a hand to Sebastian, who took it. Antonio noted how much Sebastian’s hand was shaking, and how his grip was tight enough for his knuckles to be white. Still, Sebastian got into the boat, basically clinging to Antonio’s arm.
Antonio was fine with this, getting to work preparing the boat to sail. Untying his various knots, all of that. It didn’t take him long, and it was comforting work, especially after Sebastian settled for just keeping his hand on Antonio’s shoulder.
Once that was all untied and everything was ready, Antonio gestured for Sebastian to sit. The man did so, and Antonio sat next to him before easing the boat out into the water proper. As soon as that happened, Antonio noted that Sebastian was once again clinging to his arm.
“It’s okay, love. It’s okay,” Antonio found himself saying, and Sebastian nodded. “I’m here. You’re safe.”
“Thank you,” Sebastian whispered back, and saying even that seemed to be as much as he could manage at the moment. Antonio wouldn’t push him any further, though, and lead the boat into the middle of the bay.
The sun was starting its descent towards the horizon, and now Antonio decided he ought to speak. To be fully honest with Sebastian.
“Sebastian, my dearest.” He started, and Sebastian looked up at him. His eyes were brown, a warm shade, and seeing them made Antonio’s heart melt. “I… have not been clear with you, I worry.”
Antonio took a shaky breath. He was going to fuck this up. Sebastian would be upset. But still, he couldn’t stop now, before he lost his nerve.
“I- I do love you, Sebastian. As more than a friend. I long to hold you in my arms, to have you be mine. As-” was he really saying this? Yes. “A romantic partner, if you would have me. But if not, I still… you mean too much to me to lose as a friend, Sebastian.”
There was a pause. Sebastian’s hand didn’t move from Antonio’s arm, and Antonio continued. “If you would have me, Sebastian, I would like to hold you. To, and forgive me, but… to kiss you, if you would let me. To know you in your entirety. I want you, Sebastian.”
Another pause, and Sebastian looked at Antonio. His heart was racing, and he could have counted the seconds, he was so tense.
“Antonio.” Sebastian said, and his voice was quiet. “I… I would like that. Very much, I do think. I have been thinking as well, and I’ve realized my desires for you are romantic. If you’d allow me… I would like to get started on that now, perhaps? The kissing, that is.”
Antonio nodded. He was still processing what Sebastian was saying, but he was happy to let Sebastian do whatever it was he wanted, as his heart had yearned for this for months.
“I would like that. Very much so.” Antonio finally said, and now Sebastian leaned forward, towards him. Gently cupping his face in one of his hands, and god , how Antonio had wanted this. He had wished for this, had dreamed of it, but had always dismissed them as nothing more than wishful thinking.
It was messy when they finally kissed. Antonio had always been shit at it, and Sebastian seemed to have never done this before. But it was kissing Sebastian , so he was more than happy.
They broke away after a little bit, mostly because breathing was a thing they both, in fact, needed to do, but… holy shit . Sebastian had kissed him . And had wanted to kiss him .
Holy fucking shit .
They stayed there for the next hour, slowly getting better at kissing as the sun set over the sea. Antonio could get used to this.