Chapter Text
Chapter 3: Weak
weak.
the only word renjun could manage to describe himself and how he felt was… weak. with jisung’s large hand tightly gripping almost half of his waist, he was sure he was barely breathing.
even though the freshman was taller, renjun couldn’t look up at him at all. his head was down, watching their feet instead of his “partner”(according to jaemin) and silently cursing himself for not being used to it even more as time went by. it wasn’t helping how warm the other felt, in fact he was annoyed at how unnerved jisung was.
he’s practiced with other people before, and usually he was only nervous during first times and would get comfortable along the way. but with jisung, he just got even more jumpy the more they danced together. and maybe he was crazy, since he swears he could feel the freshman clear his throat at times. but of course, he can never confirm it— he’s never fast nor brave enough to look up at the tall one’s expression. he’s convinced his forehead was enough view for the other. he’s been convincing himself for three weeks despite them only having rehearsals every other day.
they went through the rest of the dance, heavily scolding himself about thinking too much of his other hand clutched with jisung’s. he was just weak, not flustered.
‘weak over what exactly?’. his thoughts were interrupted by the latter accidentally stepping on his foot. his brows furrowed as he looked up, ready to scold out of pure reflex since jeno would ever so often do the same to him at random times.
and just like that, the remaining air his lungs were managing to survive with the whole dance stopped. one breath of air and he’d be huffing right in front of jisung’s mouth, the thought of it could only horrify him. he never noticed they were this close, as well as he never really realized how pointed the freshman’s nose was. how chubby his cheeks were despite his jaw being pointed. how his eyes were shaped like almonds. and how long he has been staring up at him not uttering a single word.
renjun cleared his throat before looking away, noticing how the music stopped yet jisung’s hand was still wrapped around one side of his waist. he glanced at lia and ryujin who were both moving towards the dispenser chatting away, before letting go of his breath and breaking out of the other’s grasp.
“take five”, he mumbled towards no one in particular as he busied himself with his jug and sat down.
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“that’s fishy”, jeno mumbled. narrowing his eyes at renjun who ignored him and continued walking even as mark agreed with the other.
“yeah, why are you suddenly so keen on finding a partner? is jisung gonna be busy?”, the oldest mumbled through his mouth full of ice cream. jaemin grossly looked at him, grumbling about how he couldn’t believe mark was a senior.
“just don’t wanna bother him anymore, that’s all”, renjun replied meekly before scooping from his cup. the other two nodded in understanding, while jaemin snorted before catching himself.
to be fair, it was true. but that wasn’t the only reason, and if renjun was to share that to anyone. it would be with nana, and he did a few days ago.
jisung made him feel weird, but not on purpose. nor in a bad way. he wasn’t quite sure how to describe it, yet his friend’s deduction was that he was growing a crush on him. it wasn’t impossible, he’s also thought of the possibility that his flustered state whenever the freshman was around could be because he was completely dashing in his eyes.
jaemin tried to convince him that it wasn’t a bad thing. ‘crushes are normal, especially with someone with the same talent and looks as jisung’ were his exact words, but in renjun’s perspective it was much harder to process. if he really was crushing on him, it’d be the first time since his failed relationship with lia. and quite frankly, that scared him.
“renjun-hyung!”, chenle yelled as he ran towards the group with a wide smile. unconsciously, his eyes looked for the earlier topic with his friends but it was only his longtime neighbor who was present.
“hm?”, his eyes attentively went to him. perspiring from his run, chenle held a hand up to him— asking the older one to wait so he could catch his breath. jaemin couldn’t help but pinch the raven-haired sophomore, chuckling about how cute he is as mark turned to jeno.
“chenle, stop sulking like a baby”, donghyuck complained from afar as he slowly neared the group as well. behind him, was jisung. mid-chuckle right when renjun’s eyes found him.
“no, i’m gonna eat lunch with them so be on your merry way and keep /not/ including me in your conversations”, the sophomore replied in the most dramatic way he could muster up. the purple-haired junior could only sigh in fake annoyance before glancing at jisung, helpless.
“chenle, let’s go. i only have two hours available today”, the freshman tried to convince his friend. jaemin giggled at the attempt, reading renjun’s mind exactly. jisung was adorable. the freshman’s voice went soft yet still very much deep and his hand reached out to chenle’s arm, pulling it just enough to break the sophomore’s grip away from renjun’s shoulder.
“no, get lost”, he mumbled before placing an arm around the smaller one’s shoulder and walking away with him. renjun went with the flow, understanding his younger friend’s playful ass. he’s been in such situations as well, especially back then when mark and jeno were closer and jaemin was always busy.
“alright, we’ll join you then”, donghyuck quipped as he shrugged. chenle didn’t bother looking back at the others, forcing renjun not to glance as well despite hearing mark and jeno being rowdy. he heard jaemin greet the two, as well as jisung’s quick “is this really okay?”
“the more the merrier, man”, mark replied while renjun could barely keep up with what chenle was whispering about. something about him not being good with secrets yet trying for donghyuck and jisung, but they still don’t tell him stuff. he chuckled a bit, finding it cute how his friend still becomes sulky when it comes to things like this.
“you’d tell me your secrets, right?”, the boy suddenly asked him. the older one nodded with a smile, knowing it was what chenle probably wanted to hear.
“stupid jisung can’t even tell me who he likes.”
if renjun had talents other than dancing, it’d be acting. because despite it running through his head repeatedly, he managed to ignore chenle’s words and act normal the whole time they ate lunch with the others.
and as chenle said goodbye to him that day, being followed by the junior and the freshman, he finally sighed in relief. jisung likes someone, and his brain refused to spit out why that mattered to him. being the freshman’s partner in the routine didn’t require him to care about that, what was worse is that they weren’t even official dance partners.
the odd feeling in his stomach lasted the entire day, he was silently thankful they had no rehearsals or he would probably freak out even more. but even as he slept, his mind wandered. ‘who could the lucky person be?’
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‘RJ’.
renjun read the paper wrapped around the cookie, slightly curious yet very much sure he was going to get caught if he stares at it even more. hearing someone enter the studio, he immediately pried his eyes away from it and cleared his throat before walking away to approach lia.
“hey, i heard donghyuck’s willing to do it. he was talking with the seniors this morning”, the girl’s words caught him by surprise.
“willing to do what?”, he had to confirm. nothing good would come out by reacting despite uncertainty.
“be your partner. something about helping jisung out, it wasn’t really clear ‘cause i was rushing to class”, lia replied. even pointing at jisung as she mentioned his name, the freshman not forming a response he could hear.
“i haven’t been-“
his words were cut off by donghyuck entering the studio, almost immediately hearing a groan from behind him— realizing it was probably jisung.
“saved your life, jijungie~”, the purple-haired boy said as he ran towards the taller one. renjun peeked at the two, only ending up seeing them seriously conversing yet donghyuck’s smirk was way too evident. ‘jijungie’, he’s heard that from chenle as well before.
“oh. hey ryujin, catch!”, donghyuck yelled out as he threw the cookie renjun was eyeing. the girl mentioned was surprised yet quick enough to catch it in her hands, reading the ‘RJ’ on it before smiling and mumbling a small ‘thanks’.
chuckling, donghyuck seemed to whisper a few words to jisung who could only frown at him while a pout formed on his lips. he didn’t realize how long he was staring until the two were suddenly walking up to him, the older one having an arm around the freshman’s shoulder.
“nice to meet you, dance partner. jisung taught me everything, so we’re good to go.”
his heart sank, he couldn’t lie. and it didn’t help how unreadable jisung’s expression was as he blinked.