Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1
ZAYN POV
I swear I can hear my heart beat faster and louder every second as we reach home. The driver of the car gives me a smile as he unloads my luggage.
Standing in front of the door I cannot even gather enough courage to knock the door of my own house and reminisce the events of last week. Never thought that that getting a picture could spark up the cheating rumours…..yet again. Heck, I don’t even know who that girl was.
With all my strength and after praying to each and every god in the fucking universe I somehow knock the door, and wait. My heartbeat is ringing louder and louder in my ears and I feel as if I’m about to faint. Waiting is the toughest thing a person ever has to do- I don’t think I have that kind of strength In me at the moment .
I hear the footsteps approaching , I swear I am seconds away from fainting when a deshelved looking perrie opens the door, her face virtually emotionless. We stand there for sometime in complete silence neither speaking a single word, neither knowing what to say.
I take this chance to look at Perrie , she’s in her Mikey Mouse jammies and a brown robe. Her face is makeup free and she looks tired as if she missed a few nights worth of sleep. I guessed she probably had. But she looked beautiful , even in such a tense situation she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
After standing at the door for a few minutes , which by the way seemed like hours , she sighs and turns around and goes back into the house.
“I’ll make some coffee. Remove your shoes outside. “ she says. I couldn’t help but notice a sense of defeat in her voice.
“Perrie, I drag my suitcase inside and chuck my shoes behind meas I follow her to the kitchen,”Perrie” , I repeat.
She turns around and with the same blankness in her eyes repeats
“ Go make yourself comfortable on the couch , you’ve had a long journey. I’ll make you some coffee.”
Translation: we will talk but I need some time to compose myself for whats about to come.
“ Yeah, I could do with some coffee.” I mutter to myself as I collapse on the couch, tired as heck, it was a pretty long journey not to mention the tension that was preventing me sleep.
A cough snaps me out of my thoughts . I look up to see Perrie with two mugs of coffee. She hands me one as she seats herself on the other end of the couch. I can almost feel the tension surrounding the room threatening to strottle us. I take a sip from my mug and feel my nerves settle down a little.
“Cocoa?”I ask.
“Mhm “ she answers not even bothering to look up, knowing that this was just a pathetic attempt to start a conversation.
“Zayn,..” she starts but I interrupt her
“ I did not cheat. I swear nothing happened! “ I exclaimed, very alert now.
“ I know” she replied quietly.
I swear this blankness is going to kill me.
Almost as if hearing my thoughts , she looks up , a very cryptic fondness in her eyes.
“I know” she repeats , full of emotins this time. “ I know..it…it’s just…..”
She shifts towards me and hugs me, her face into my side and my arms automatically go around her shoulders and I pull her close to myself , forgetting about everything else.
“ The coffee was good’’ I said after some time.
She side snorts.
“ Of course it was , I made it” she says with fake pride.
And I know that’s it. We sit like that for what seemed like eternity, engulfed in each others arms. No one speaks a word, we don’t need to . we jut sit on silence. Not a painful one but a very warm one.
It is almost 9 when Perrie starts moving. She gets up and looks at me “ I have to go to work” she says a bit apologetically .
“It’s okay” I insist. It isn’t . I don’t want her to leave.
“hey” , she comes up to me . How well she knows me. I love this girl. She interlocks one of her hands with mine and runs the other through my hair. What would the fangirls say if they could see my condition now. Perrie kisses my forehead “ It’s okay. Everything is going to be alright. Everything’s okay.” She pecks my head one last time then leaves to get ready.
Everything is not alright. Yet. But maybe it will be. Maybe .
After about half an hour I hear the front door click shut and I know that she has left.
With immense effort I drag myself up to the bedroom and collapse on the bed. The fatigue and jetlag is now catching up with me. It feels like my body has turned limp but weighs like stone at the same time. I stare at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to engulf me, it never does. Even my own body is betraying me. It must be the coffee I conclude, even though I know it isn’t.
It is almost midnight now. Perrie is laying beside me.
“ I can’t do it anymore “ I say suddenly.
“Perrie sits up with an alarmed expression which turns sombre when she sees my face. She knows. She always does.
“I give up. I quit. I am a coward.” I say pitying the way my own voice sounds.
“No”, she says ,as she scoots towards me. “ You’re brave enough to back off. To let go.”
An that is it. I break down completely as she encircles me into her arms. I cried for an eternity before exhaustion took me and I fall asleep.
Only one thing is clear to me right now. Everything is about to change. For good or for bad. If only I knew what an understatement it was.