Chapter Text
Maybe I'm safer when I'm on the run, No time to open up my heart. Maybe I'll hide behind my walls again, Instead of tearing them apart
“We can’t fix this.”
“Yes we can!”
“Ricky no, we can’t change what happened! Nothing we do will change the fact that we hooked up while you were in a relationship. That is our story now and it’s not just your fault I pushed the boundaries too. I wanted to spend more time with you, I liked that you wanted to confide in me more than anyone else and honestly if you kissed me any other time I probably still would’ve kissed you back because I really wanted to. Apparently that's the person I am…but I don't want to be. I want to have integrity.”
She turned away from him again and wiped a tear. They both just sat in the silence processing what she said. The only sound that filled the car were faint sniffles and their unsteady breathing.
“Listen, I was being selfish. I didn’t want to lose what we had going on and I wasn't ready to deal with my issues with Nini. I’m really sorry I put you in that position. I think deep down I knew how you felt and I knew I still liked you. I just didn’t know what to do and I know you’re saying it’s on both of us but I should’ve put some distance between us or something til I figured my shit out.”
Gina didn’t know what to think. She felt a rush of anger that he knew she liked him and he didn’t say anything. That he said all of those confusing things knowing how she felt. But of course he knew. She told him opening night. Still she knows he was in a difficult position and she would've been upset if he suddenly pulled away from her after they started talking again.
“I don’t know what you want me to say but none of this matters-”
“None of this matters??”
“Yeah, none of this matters because I’m leaving.”
“Gina, what?!?”
“I talked to my mom-” Ricky knew what she was going to say.
“You can’t be serious!”
“ and I’m going to Louisiana.”
“You can’t leave because of this.”
“It’s not-” He cut her off. Now he was in full panic mode.
“What happened to not being a quitter!?!”
“That’s not-”
“You said you wouldn’t quit on us.”
Gina was taken back. She couldn’t believe he was using what she said opening night against her. She froze.
“Ricky, that is not fair. That was different.”
“How is it different now? You’re choosing to leave. You’re quitting.” His words came out more bitter than he intended and he had raised his voice. He immediately regretted it as the words left his mouth and he saw their impact on Gina's face. Her eyes widened and nose flared; she was clearly hurt. “Wait, Gi, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get so upset.” He said softly.
The implications of what he was saying were too much for her. She couldn’t bear for them to continue that topic.
“Look, I told you I was having a hard time. It’s not just you. I’m not quitting. I did everything I needed to do here.” They both knew she was lying.
“I thought things were getting better.”
“Seriously?” She shook her head and her eyes pleaded for him to stop pushing.
“Look, I said I’ll do anything. I’m going to break up with Nini.” Ricky now had tears streaming down his face. “Just please stay. I won't be able to handle it if you go.” His face was heartbreaking; it almost broke her resolve.
“I’m not anyones second choice.”
“Of course not.”
“You could have broken up with her before all of this.”
“I know.”
“You don’t get to want me just because you hate long distance and Nini’s in Denver.”
“That's not it at all! Gina, I have never felt the way I feel about you for anyone else before. I know this all looks really messy and I’m a cheater now but even if Nini did stay in Salt Lake I don’t think we would’ve stood a chance. We got back together before you and I even talked on opening night. I thought I was never going to see you again. I guess, I was desperate for things not to change. Or I didn’t want to be alone. I just freaked out and word vomited back into a relationship. I don’t know I’m just rambling now but no one compares to you. I want to be with you. Only you. Do you… do you want to be with me?”
There was another pause between them. Ricky's heart was racing as he waited for a response. Gina was so conflicted. Everything in her was telling her to bolt and to have a fresh start. She needed a second to process everything he said.
“You have to know that you are what makes Salt Lake so special for me. You were my first real friend and I really really like you. Of course I want to be with you.”
“Why do I feel like there is a but coming?
“I just hate that if we start dating we’ll be one of those couples that got together while one of us was in a relationship so now we’ll always be haunted by that. You’ll be able to be like oh she got with me while I was dating Nini maybe she’s willing to cheat with Bob and vice versa. And what if people find out? Now I'll actually be the bad guy people think I was… I just feel like a bad person.”
Ricky racked his brain for what he could possibly say to help her move past all of that.
“What if we were just inevitable?”
Gina just stared back at him with bright, questioning eyes.
“What if we’re inevitable and you’re not a bad person? We just did a bad thing. Gina, a bad person, wouldn't be this upset about what we did.”
Finally, a faint smile appeared on Gina’s face and Ricky's chest finally felt like it wasn’t going to explode. She laughed a little, in relief, and wiped away some stray tears. With a sign of them being okay the rest of his anxiety dissipated.
She repeated his words back to him. “What if we’re just inevitable?”
Beaming smiles washed across their tear stained, flushed faces. Gina leaned over the center console and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. She pulled away before he could kiss her back and he might’ve been disappointed if she didn’t cuddle up to his arm and rest her head on his shoulder. He laced his hand with hers and brushed his thumb along her knuckles, kissed her forehead, and took in the moment. The storm had passed and they could just be still with each other knowing everything between them was all out in the open.
“I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
She let out a sigh. “I think one of the reasons I was so upset is because that was my first kiss.”
“Oh shit I completely forgot. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I just didn’t expect it to be so scandalous” She added some pizzazz to the last word.
“If you want our next kiss can be when I’m no longer tied to another person and it’ll be super wholesome and magical.”
Gina brought her face super close to his and looked from his eyes to his lips. “That would be very nice.” Ricky mindlessly leaned forward as Gina backed away and giggled. “Haha!”
“Well not if you’re gonna do that.”
“Sorry it's fun to see you all cute and flustered.”
“Okay, two can play at that game.”
“Oh really?” Gina scoffed.
“Yeah, I know you want me. Just as much as I. Want. You.” He booped her nose with his finger.
“Alright.” She couldn’t even pretend to act unamused. She was smiling ear to ear.
“The next time we kiss. It’ll be because you folded.”
“What happened to wholesome and magical?”
“It’ll still be magical. Any kiss with you will be magical… maybe not wholesome though.”
Gina could feel herself blushing. She hoped it was too dark for him to notice.
“It’s probably more ethical for us to hold off anyway. So deal?” She held out her hand for a handshake.
“Wanna kiss on it?”
Gina rolled her eyes and started to get out of the car. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Wait, Gi. Hold on! I totally got you though. I get it, you can’t control yourself.”
“Ricky, come on we should get back to everyone. We probably missed the whole thing.”
He ran around the car, over to her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
“It was totally worth it though.” He said with a big goofy grin.
She smiled back. “Yeah it was worth it.”
They walked in happy silence to the barn, hand in hand, until about halfway there Ricky let out a huge grunt.
“OH MY GOD Gi, That was so horrible! I hated not talking to you and then thinking you were gonna leave.” He sighed again. “Even worse!” He pulled her into a big hug. “Let's never ever do that again.”
She wrapped her arms around him squeezing him tight and he melted with her touch. It felt like curling up in your bed, under a blanket, after a long day. Or drinking a warm cup of tea. They both felt safe and reaffirmed that everything was okay now.
“Yeah, I hated it too, that wasn’t fun.” Her voice was muffled by her face on his shoulder.
“Not at all.”
Gina looked up at him and started to go in for a kiss before hiding her face in his chest.
Ricky gasped and started laughing. “You almost folded.” He rocked them back and forth as he gloated.
“I did not.”
“What if we put the deal on hold?”
She looked up at him.“I’m listening.”
“After the day we had, I think we deserve it.”
“And you’re not tricking me?”
“No, I promise.” He held up his pinky finger between them for a pinky swear.
“Okie.”
Ricky wasted no time and pulled Gina toward him, placing a soft kiss on her lips. Gina slid her hand behind his head and gently wove her fingers into his hair. Even sober the kiss was still dizzying.
Gina could feel Ricky smiling against her lips so she paused and pulled back a bit to look at him. To her surprise he was teary eyed again and his lips started to quiver. So she kissed both of his cheeks.
“Awee, wait what's wrong?”
“Nothings wrong, I'm just really happy.” He laughed and wiped his eyes.
“I’m really happy too. Oh my gosh, stop, now I’m gonna cry again.” She giggled and fanned her face to prevent tears from falling then wrapped her arms around him again. “We can’t go back in there. We’re a mess.”
Still holding Gina, Ricky shooks his body in effort to shake off the emotions and center himself, jolting her in the process.
“Woah!”
“Uh oh, my bad.” Ricky made an overly exaggerated stern expression and held Gina's face up to his. “We are not a mess!”
“Of course not!” She tried to match his energy and make a serious face too but she was having a hard time not breaking into laughter.
“We got this.” He said through stifled laughter. He was started to lose it too. Gina trying not to laugh was making Ricky break.
“We’re the most put together people here!”
“Exactly!”
They both dropped the serious act and were giggling with beaming smiles. He pressed his forehead to hers then kissed her and they made their way back to the barn.
Just before Ricky opened the barn doors Gina stopped him.
“Wait, what is our plan?”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that. I guess we should put some space between us.”
They looked down and both realized they were still holding hands.
“Yeah, we definitely should do that.” Gina begrudgingly let go.
“Umm, what else?”
“Uh, we can just tell people… well we don’t have to say anything. But why don’t you tell Nini I got in a fight with my mom and I got really upset and you talked me down.”
“Okay, speaking of Nini… I was her ride. Is it cool if I still take her home. I can talk to her during the car ride.”
“Yeah that's fine, I rode with Ashyln anyway. If you want you don’t have to tell her everything. It would probably be best if we don’t start dating out in the open for a while anyway.”
“Hmm, I didn’t think of that.”
“We don’t have to figure it all out tonight though.”
“Okay.”
Before entering, Ricky quickly squeezed Gina’s hand in reassurance.
It seems they started doing Karaoke with the piano. Carlos was singing the final, show stopping verse, of Roses Turn from Gypsy.
Well, Someone tell me when is it my turn?
Don’t I get a dream from myself?
Starting now it’s going to be my turn.
Gangway, world, get off of my runway!
Starting now I bat a thousand!
This time, boys, I’m taking bows and
Everythings coming up Rose!
Everythings coming up Carlos!
Everyone started laughing at the lyric change. Gina left to do her video message and Ricky joined everyone else sitting on the hay bales.
“WOOOOO!”
“Yessss Los!”
Ricky wolf whistled drawing Kourtney’s attention.
“Ricky, where have you been? You missed Nini’s big news.”
“Bathroom.” He turned to Nini. “What news?”
“I’m coming back to East High!!! No more long distance and falling asleep on facetime!”
Ricky tried to hide his horror with an enthusiastic, “YAY!”
“And that's not even the best part. You missed Ms. Jenn have a total breakdown. North High announced that they’re also doing Beauty and The Beast. Long story short, I'm going to be in the show and we’re gonna write a song together!!!”
“Omg, double yay!!!”
Ricky scratched the back of his head. This was gonna be awkward drive home.