Chapter Text
Jesper used to smile at the little reminders of his soulmate. A small scrape on his knee, or a bruise on his elbow. All of them were connections that he had to his mysterious soulmate. He would imagine pressing a kiss to his soulmate's scrapes and bruises, just as his mother always did to him.
However, as time went on, the bruises started to look less like reminders and more like warnings. The rate of the bruises seemed to increase overnight. Jesper would take off his shirt only to find his chest covered in ugly purple spots. Concern ran through him constantly. He wondered what his soulmate could be doing to cause such pain and danger. Maybe they lived in the barrel like him. Maybe they were a bounty hunter or a hitman. Or maybe they were suffering somewhere, desperate for help, but trapped in a cycle of pain.
Jesper’s worry peaked when he woke up with bruises along his throat. He hadn’t even noticed them when he had woken up. He had gotten dressed and strolled down stairs like it was any other day.
Inej sat at a table, a cup of tea in her hands. She rolled her eyes at Jesper, “Please tell me you weren't with the girl from the cafe last night.”
Jesper balked, “I don't sleep with someone every night, and I am frankly offended that you would assume as much.”
Inej looked at him in disbelief, “If you are going to lie about it, at least wear a scarf.”
“A scarf? What are you talking about?”
“You have marks all along your neck. A lot of them too, you must have been having fun,” she brought her cup to her lips to take an exaggerated sip.
Thoroughly confused Jesper turned around, heading to the bathroom to check a mirror. He hadn't been with anyone for at least a week, so how could he have hickies along his neck? He swung open the bathroom door and turned to look in the mirror. Sure enough, deep purple marks ran along his neck, melding together to form what looked like a collar of discoloration.
His heart dropped when he realized what they were
Soulmarks
His soulmate had been fucking choked. He felt his hand begin to shake, itching to do something, anything. He had never felt so helpless. His soulmate was out there somewhere, having lived a life of pain for the past eight years, and now they had been choked. And Jesper could do absolutely nothing. What kind of trouble was Jesper’s soulmate involved in?
Jesper needed to find this person. To help them get out of whatever awful situation they were involved in and keep them safe. He wanted to hold them in his arms, running his hands along the bruises gently, imagining that he could heal them with his touch. But Jesper didn't know who they were, and he didn't know how to find them. So all he could do was watch the bruises appear on his skin in real time, and pray to all of Inej’s saints that they would find each other.
Wylan was the happiest he had been in a long time. He had a home that he felt safe in, he didn't have to worry constantly where his next meal would come from, and he had Jesper. Wylan had never pictured someone like Jesper when he used to think of his soulmate. He had hardly ever thought about his soulmate after his mother died. He knew that if he allowed himself to hope, it would only be taken from his grasp. So instead Wylan focused on his survival; trying not to make his father angry, figuring out the best times to steal food from the kitchen because they often forgot to feed him, and learning how to nurse his cuts and scratches from trial and error.
Wylan had never anticipated someone like Jesper. Jesper was full of love and life, and Wylan found himself caught in his orbit. Everything that Jesper did was welcoming and full of compassion. They way that Jesper would hold his hand while they walked, occasionally bringing Wylan’s hand up to kiss his knuckles. They way that Jesper was always there when Wylan needed him. To comfort him after a nightmare or to read something to Wylan in his soothing voice. Wylan couldn't believe how lucky he had gotten.
Late one night, while Jepser and Wylan were lying in bed not quite awake or asleep, Jesper had turned to him and reached out to rest a hand on his neck. Wylan had turned to him, and was surprised to find concern on Jesper’s face.
“What is it?” Wylan asked, his voice thick with fatigue.
Jesper looked up to meet Wylan’s eyes, his fingers moving to cup Wylan’s jaw, “You were choked once.” Wylans startled at the statement as Jesper continued, “ I woke up one morning not too long ago, and there were bruises on my neck. What happened?”
Wylan was confused at first, wondering what Jesper could be talking about. Before it struck him. The boat, on the way to Belendt. Jesper had seen the repercussions of that night himself. Wylan had never thought about his soulmate receiving identical bruises to Wylan on their neck. But now he could imagine how terrifying it would be for Jesper. To wake up to find that his soulmate had nearly escaped death.
He took a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak, “My father told me that I was going to a music school, out in Belendt. He had given me a letter and everything.”
He felt his voice growing weaker as he spoke, the memories running back to him in a painful way. Jesper gently tilted Wylan’s face towards him, his gray eyes full of more love and concern than Wylan had ever felt he was deserving of.
Wylan continued, his eyes fixed on Jesper’s, “I was never meant to make it there. The men that my father had sent with me had been paid to kill me. One of them… One of them choked me on the boat. I barely managed to get off the boat, and swim to Ketterdam”
Wylan felt his eyes watering as he spoke, the fear and horror of the night rushing back to him. He remembered all of it so vividly. The painful chill of the Ketterdam waters, the breath being stolen from his lungs by the hands at his throat, and the betrayal and guilt he felt at his father’s actions. He felt Jesper’s hand cup his cheek, his thumb gently stroking under his eye, sweeping away a tear as it fell.
“It’s not a big deal, it happened a while ago.” Wylan said, his hand reaching up to rest on Jesper’s shoulder.
Jesper looked at Wylan with sad eyes full of concern, “That sounds awful. I should have put a bullet in your father’s head while I had the chance,” Jesper took a moment as if gathering his thoughts, “I’m just sorry I wasn't there.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You couldn't have known,” Wylan said softly.
“I know, I was just so scared when I woke up to see the marks on my neck. I didn't know who you were or what you were dealing with, but I knew I had to find you. I knew that you were in trouble and I was so desperate to help you. I'm so sorry that I couldn't.” Jesper said, burying his face in Wylan’s curls and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Wylan pulled back to cup Jesper’s face in his hands, meeting Jesper’s striking gray eyes with his own “You’re here now, and I’m so damn grateful. You’ve helped me more than you will ever know.”
Jesper reached out, pulling Wylan into his arms. His fingers reached up to run through Wylan’s hair as he buried his face in Wylan’s curls. Wylan’s thoughts of the boat and Belendt were forgotten as he was surrounded by Jesper. The smell of gunpowder and candlewax pushing his painful memories back into the past where they belonged.
He had never allowed himself to have too much hope about his soulmate. But now he knew that even if he had bothered to dream about it, none of it would ever compare to the real thing. Nothing from Wylan’s wildest fantasies could ever compare to Jesper. Jesper with his wild personality and loving eyes. Jesper who had been with Wylan since the beginning. Jesper who had always been Wylan’s home, before Wylan even knew him.