Chapter Text
“A drill? Yeah, of course I have a drill,” says the other guy and he explains that he made a deal with the Dungeon Master and he gave it to him a while back, you won’t even bother asking, instead you just ask him if he can just… do the obvious and drill a hole through the wall, “of course, on it!” He tells you.
You stop him in his tracks when you see him walk up to his door, “hey hey hey where are you going?” You ask him, he tells you that he’s going to drill a hole through the wall and escape so you ask him if he’s going to abandon you and go on his own, “of course not! After I drill that hole, I’ll drill another one in your wall so you can come in, easy.”
“Ah yes, I totally believe you,” you tell him, “thanks for believing in me!” He responds cheerfully. You wonder if he’s completely oblivious to sarcasm or if there’s genuinely no malice in this guy’s heart, but you can’t stand around and see which one it is, if he’s gone, there goes your not-very-detailed plan, so you call him again before he starts drilling, “wait! If you drill that way it’ll alert the guards.” “Then what should I do?” He asks you. You explain to him that if he drills a hole to your cell, you’ll be farther away from any guards and then you can proceed to drill safely. If he still wants to proceed with his original plan then you know for sure that he was intending on abandoning you.
After very little consideration the guy agrees that your plan makes more sense, maybe he needs an ally to help him escape so he wants to keep you around, or maybe you’re just paranoid and can’t tell a friend apart from someone who’s just using you; he proceeds to drill a hole in the wall to enter your cell.
Once you’ve both made your way down, you start telling him about your brilliant idea: drilling a hole through the ground. He facepalms and now you’re confused, it turns out you're in the middle of the building, drilling down would just land you in another cell. You should’ve considered this and now you feel stupid for assuming you were on the ground, though now you’re curious as to how he even knows this for a fact, he tells you that he learned it from his various conversations with the guards, it’s not like he knows the ins and outs of the prison but he knows a thing or two, and he knows that if you wanted to drill a hole on the floor, he could’ve just drilled through his wall as originally planned, which is to say both ideas are stupid, your friend has a better idea in mind…
You will fill his cell with pumpkins and he will call the guards attention by starting a ruckus in there, once the guards enter and are caught off guard by all the pumpkins he will come out of a pumpkin pile and attack them with his drill, spreading guts and blood everywhere, once the guards are in shock from seeing their mates organs on the floor you will join him in the combat, striking them with your trusty knife and your trusty fork, hell, you can even use their organs as a weapon, if you’ve never used intestines to choke someone to death, now’s a great chance for a first time, you have to get creative here, what if you used their corpses to-
The mere mental image of all of that makes your stomach turn, you vomit at his feet, now that’s gross, also you don't remember telling him about your Pumpkin Appearifier.
Your friend ditches that plan, “or maybe we can just dig through your walls and escape using the ladder." That sounds like a much better plan to you.
He points you towards the wall that he will drill talking about the various hazards you would find if he drilled through the other walls, you begin wondering just how much this guy knows and how did he not escape by himself before, but you won’t question it, if he had done so, you’d be stuck here by yourself.
Once he’s done drilling you go to the hole and take a good breath of fresh air, this was something that you had taken for granted your whole life and suddenly it was taken away from you, it’s unbelievable how important all the little things in life are, you take a moment to appreciate the beauty of all the shitty buildings that surround you, oh you missed them dearly.
But then you look down and realize just how high you are, your ladder will absolutely not be enough to take you down there, which is when your big friend brings up his big plan, he believes you can use his original idea and-
“No!” You shout, you won’t be doing that. He tells you that stopping him before he has even explained himself is very rude, you tell him you’re sorry.
If you appearify a lot, and he means, a lot of pumpkins and then throw them outside, you’ll create a huge puddle of smashed pumpkins that will soften the impact, you’re surprised that this is actually not a bad idea, you’ve got essentially infinite pumpkins to pull this off, specially if you manage to stick the ladder in a way that allows you to descend a little before actually falling onto the pile, good thinking!
However, realizing how risky it’d be to pull this off in broad daylight, your companion returns to his cell and waits for night to fall, and then you can proceed with the plan, meanwhile, you fill your cell with pumpkins to prepare for your grand escape, you also work together to patch up the hole with pumpkin insides in case any passing guards notice it and the alarms go off.
It feels as if time is passing slower than ever, you can almost taste the freedom, the final hours are the toughest, stars slowly start to appear in the night sky and eventually you can see the moon above you, this is when you call out for your prisonmate, he re-drills the hole in the wall and you both get to work, throwing loads of pumpkins outside until your room is empty, but the prisoner tells you that you need to appearify even more. He says that you can’t use the ladder in this escape as he needs it for something, it’s hard to explain…
You got nothing but trust in this guy, he’s convinced you that he means good and if he needs the ladder you’ll let him have it, you have no problem appearifying more pumpkins and proceed to do exactly that while the other guy climbs up to his cell and picks up the ladder.
After a while, you’re each done with your part, the man comes down without his drill or the ladder, landing on a pile of pumpkins in your cell as if he was doing a test run right there and says he’s ready to go, you decide not to question him, you both put on pumpkin armor for further protection and finally descend.
When you make it to the ground your armor is slain, but you are completely unscathed.
You grab your friend’s hand and start running away, but he tells you that you have nothing to worry about, he made sure that any guards that come to his cell will have a bad time, this makes you slow down until you stop, “oh, is that so? What did you do?”
“With my robotics skills, using the pieces from your ladder and my drill I built the legendary Drillgorg! Anyone who dares cross his path will get their ass drilled, nobody has won in combat against Drillgorg, when the guards walk in heads will start rolling, Drillgorg will fight until all his opponents are-” you stop him, “okay I get it, no need to go into detail; but still, let’s get out of here and find a place to stay.” “Of course, I need to rest after all that work,” he responds and you both flee from the scene, it’s time to enjoy your newfound freedom!
Meanwhile elsewhere, a Dungeon Master does his prison checkups. Everything is going like normal until he reaches a certain prisonerless cell, containing only a robot, he has to inspect this immediately.
The wooden robot is facing the wall, and when the Dungeon Master gets closer in order to see its face, he’s caught by surprise when he notices the robot’s drill.
This… is…
A Drillgorg! The Dungeon Master loves Drillgorgs, he begins riding it like a mechanical bull and commanding it to do stuff that he knows it can’t do since it’s just wood. Absolute victory for everyone.