Chapter Text
Reggie grabs her backpack and swings out her door. Dustin almost manages to side swipe her out of the race as they compete to reach the steps but The Undefeatable Twelve is too fast, too swift on her feet, obviously no match for a hulking teenager whose steps practically leave indents in the floor.
"Watch it, Little Monster" Dustin grunts as he speeds up, and by some witchery takes the lead, sticking out his big meaty arm to block The Great Twelve's miraculous recovery.
"Not this time, Hulking Brute!" Reggie shouts pushing and shoving the thick body in front of her. She sticks out her elbows and quickly begins jabbing at her older brother's back.
Unfortunately, standing has the disadvantage of incorporating little to no weight to what was supposed to be a vicious attack of her pointy prepubescent bones.
Dustin is easily holding out. He laughs at her. Or because of her, but either way he's gaining on the finish. He's going to reach the bottom of the stairs and The Mighty Twelve won't be able to show her face on the track again! She needs to do something, anything!
Reggie works harder to stick her bones into the tender parts of his back but it's too late. They reach the bottom of the steps. She still has her elbows against the back of his ribs and he's squirming and still sort of giggling under his breath. They just stand there for a moment catching their breath.
"Okay, knock it off, brat. That's enough" He presses his other hand against Reggie's forehead attempting to push her away, but she forces her feet in place and just cranes her head back at an uncomfortable angle. Stubborn, as usual. "I've already won, so accept defeat," He makes a show of putting both his arms down and walking out of her reach. Reggie can't see his face from behind him but his walk is just so smug. She glares after him, hoping he'll bruise, but then quickly straightens up, determined not to care.
Twelve! Twelve, how do you feel about this crushing defeat?
Twelve! Will there be another match tomorrow?
Twelve? How does it feel living under the same roof as your usurper?
"I was barely trying anyways" she replies cool-like, shrugging one shoulder and dropping into her dining room chair.
Dustin just scoffs into a bite of his cereal, "Yeah. Right."
Reggie's busy digging through the Sugar Flakes box for a toy between handfuls of dry cereal, when she realizes something is off. She frowns. "Mom?" she waits, then takes a deep breath to try again.
Dustin roughly gulps down what he's chewing and lunges at his younger sister.
"MMO---" Reggie blinks at him.
"She's still asleep," he whispers, removing his palms from over her mouth.
"What? Why? You mean she woke us up then just went back to sleep? And she thinks she can get away with this?!?" Reggie's reply really did start out as a whisper matching Dustin's... it's just her volume sort of rose with her outrage. Which is completely reasonable, really.
"Sssshhhh!" Luckily, this time Dustin kept his disgusting hands to himself. "I woke you up," he admits.
Now, Reggie's confused, "Why?" she asks, glancing at the kitchen clock, "This is like a whole thirty minutes before we're usually up, and that's not even counting the time it took to get ready!"
Dustin looks at her seriously, "Family. Meeting."
"Wait, really?" she leans forward, scopes out the room for any possible spies, and whispers back, "About what?"
Dustin rolls his eyes at her. "You don't actually have to whisper. Just don't shout and wake her up before the meeting's over."
Reggie nods in assent then stares at him, waiting much more patiently than is usual for her.
"It's our mother's birthday tomorrow," he explains as he pulls out his Clue Journal.
The Clue Journal was a constant in Dustin's daily life, he made sure he had it with the same consistency which other men checked that they had their wallet or car keys. The C.J. was for near instantaneous documentation of realizations and evidence before he could be apprehended and brainwashed. Of course, because it's handy, Dustin also happens to jot down regular everyday notes to remember like 'Homework due yesterday!' and 'Buy Conspiranoia! Mother of all conspiracy theories.' He opens the C.J. all the way to the back, as he often writes notes on the backsides of pages leaving the important stuff for the front sides. As he speaks Dustin points out sentences in a list labeled 'Mom's B-day! 06/03!!!' Despite the awe-inspiring drawings below the list and in the margins, Reggie's grin starts to fade the more he explains.
"Aunt Kathy is our woman on the inside, our double agent. She will be referred to as The Iron Liver from here on." He frowns and tacks on, "...She chose her own alias. Anyway, The Iron Liver has already successfully completed her solo mission tricking Mom into a 'family outing' at the mall tomorrow afternoon. The Iron Liver will secretly leave the car keys with me while she acts as a distraction." He slides his finger to the bottom half of the bullet points and continues. "You, Knight-Ninja, and I, Hex-Sleuther, will sneak off, secure a gift, go back to the car, use the keys to hide the gift in the car, and then get back inside without Mom even realizing we left. I have also completed my solo mission of collecting the necessary dinero —that's what Spanish people call money— in order to make our purchase. Sir Ninja, your solo mission is regarding reconnaissance and information collection before the team mission of gift retrieval. Interview people —though definitely include Aunt Kathy— maybe search Mom's room, just figure out what she'd want by tomorrow. I've got the cash we just need to make a decision and get it." Dustin closes the C.J. with a confident look. "Any questions, Knight-Ninja?"
"Yeah… Why?"
Dustin frowns, "Why, what?"
"Just, why? You seriously wrote a list in your precious tiny notebook, got money from wherever teenagers get money, and even woke us up early for this? If it's such a big deal to give her something then I could have slapped something together from my art drawer in the time it took to tell me the plan!"
"Regg, this isn't just any old holiday, it's not even Mother's Day, it's more important than that. It's Mom's birthday. Everyone wants to feel special on their birthdays and you're old enough now to help me get her an actual gift she'll love. Not like, love. She totally deserves more than some colored paper you folded."
"But… why? I mean it's fine every other time."
"Reggie, you don't understand… as usual. Rich, white men in particular take advantage of women just for being women. Did you know on average women are paid less than men? AND women that have children could lose their jobs, not get hired in the first place, or miss out on promotions just for having kids! That's not even mentioning that giving birth is like one of the circles of hell, not that I'd have any understanding of that being a guy."
"Woah, Hex-Sleuther, you're going way too hard there. She's only twelve, let's leave the many depressing facts of female life for a later date okay? Now, what was the goal of that rant exactly?" Kathy has had keys to the Abbott home since its purchase. She snatched them right out of the realtor's hands even before Mr. Abbott finished signing the last of the papers while Ms. Abbott shook her head in amusement. Kathy very much took every opportunity to let herself into the house, although usually it's later at night, she's 'got a major headache, kid,' and it's with the sole purpose of finding something to eat or to sleep on their couch.
Dustin scowls, "Reggie doesn't think our mother deserves a gift for her birthday."
"Not true!" Reggie howled.
"Shhhh!"
"That's not true. It's just, mom loves my art. She has a special box for it and everything."
"Listen, Kiddo. I get you, your mom loves that stuff you make, but now that you're so big and all, there's a new rule. An adult rule. For Christmas and birthdays, we buy gifts."
"You forgot Mother's day."
Kathy glaces at Dustin before looking back at Reggie, "And Mother's day. Okay?"
"...Fine."
"Don't be like that kid."
"I said it's fine."
"You--"
Reggie huffs, "We're missing school."
"Oh, fu-shi-CRAP! Yeah, your mom's sleeping in today. I was sent to witness how much of a law abiding citizen she is sending you guys to school and all that. So go. Run, but don't trip because Aunt Kathy doesn't know how insurance works for dependents."
"What about breakfast?" Dustin complains.
"Hey, you two are the ones that need to learn to manage your time better. Just take the box."
Kathy reaches above the fridge, snags an unopened box of cereal and quickly tosses it to Reggie before pushing their current box from the table into Dustin's arms.
"Seriously, go."
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"That STUFF I make?" Reggie picked up speed in her outrage. "STUFF? It's art! And mom loves it! All of it!"
Esther huffs as she tries to catch up to her friend. Her parents taught her that eye contact was essential to deep and meaningful communication. "So... um... We can see you're upset. Would you, you know, feel alright telling us what exactly happened?"
Todd quickly snags Esther's wrist and pulls her back so they're once again a few steps behind the enraged girl, saving his friend from getting hit in the face by Reggie's angrily flailing limbs. Reggie has some pointy bones.
"Ugh! What does she even know? She doesn't even have kids, especially not ultra-talented ones like me!"
"I don't think that's a very nice thing to say, Reggie" Esther mumbles towards Reggie's back.
"Eh, just let it go Esther. This is what they call 'a war path.''' He grins. "She probably hasn't even noticed us tailing her the last three blocks."
Todd and Esther watch as Reggie suddenly flies forward. She picks up a large fallen branch and proceeds to whack it against the innocent tree it probably came from until it came away in pieces -the branch, not the tree, that type of strength is reserved for Endless Reggie.
"What happened?" Esther whispers to Todd as she continues to frown over the poor tree.
Todd shrugs. "Your guess is as good as mine. I say we give her some space." He glances back at Reggie who is now chucking the pieces of branch into the air. Then nods to himself. "Some much needed space."