Chapter Text
"Oz is not straight BUT he's homophobic" - Paimon, 20××
Ayato: Ignoring the twins bickering on who's hotter,
is everything else okay at home or….
Aether: Well they found the cat, Dehya has a blanket
I can't tell from here but I think she's sick
Candace: I would say I'm surprised that you're watching us from a window but this seems in character.
Nilou: oh no :(
is she actually sick?
Candace: Yeah, we'll take her home in a bit but we promised she could play with the cat first
Aether: fuck man we can't separate any of the gays form each other
VioArchenemy: Frequently bought together
do no separate
Kaeya: nah but why are we barely being notified that she's sick
HuTao: TBF everything goes to wrong*not click bait* when away from the scunklys
Xingqiu: idk I'm pretty sure this is just a girls thing :/
Kaeya: Speaking of girl things! How are the ladies and the baby photos
Noelle: Lisa wants you all to know that "You may live."
"for now."
we're doing pretty good too.
Xingqiu: I'm guessing Barbara isn't having the bestest of times.
Noelle:... she may have forgotten some of the photos that were in here.
I, however, won't. :)
Ningguang: I believe it's only fair that I show her your baby photos. @Barbara
When are you free?
Noelle: I'm not particularly worried.
Barbara: I'm free whenever you are!!
That what I felt too
Kaeya: nice
@Collei are you alive?
Collei: Unfortunately.
Next you guys are going to tell em amber and Lumine aren't dating
BunArchenemy: We are! Don't worry we're a mess but we're not loss causes
Noelle: "Debatable." -Lisa
Collei: If I say anything else I'm gonna go insane.
HuTao: lmao I catch what ur tryna say
and the answer is no
Collei: I should've kept this chat on mute
Kaeya: but ya didn't
Collei: A mistake.
Rosaria: The list of people who are officially together(normal) is shorter than the list of people who should be together
VioArchenemy: wdym (normal)
Rosaria: very few of you got into relationships the normal way.
Ningguang: Like Ganqing.
Rosaria: yes the cat girl and Ganyu
Xingqiu: ah, who's on that (normal) list
Rosaria: Barbelle, Beiguang, Cynonari,
what do we call those four
AyaTaoYanYoi
and that's it
Xingqiu: WHY ARE ME AND CHONGYUN NOT THERE
:(
Yelan: do you really need to ask
Xingqiu: you only come on here to bully me
Yelan: No. I come on here to tease Shenhe.
YunJin: Oh is that what that video was?
Yelan: Did you like it~?
I got my answer.
Xinyan: Is it a lucky day or did Yelan kick ass because she just walked past me laughing
Xingqiu: doesn't answer my question
she can l a u g h?????
Heizou: She does.
Shenhe: She does.
Ningguang: Not often but yes.
XanGan: Absolutely.
VioArchenemy: she laughs at everyone she makes fun of( expect Ningguang they both laugh at everyone they make fun of together)
Rosaria: Answer, truthfully. Are you normal?
Xingqiu: Yes!
Rosaria: Answer, honestly. Are you normal by my standards?
Xingqiu:
no
Rosaria: There we go.
Kaeya: Who are you to judge who's normal
Ningguang: Sometimes the small notification we get when someone downloads or screenshots something works in the favor of others.
Xinyan: Yep, that would do it
Rosaria: Who are you to say I'm wrong.
Kaeya: Fair.
Shenhe: What video?
YunJin: Just a cute video
Shenhe: Of?
YunJin: a big puppy :)
BunArchenemy: This is not ending well
Paimon has changed Shenhe's name to Puppy.
Yelan: Thank you.
Paimon: no prob
Puppy: Me?
YunJin: That's not fair, Yelan.
Yelan: No? I thought it was quite fair considering the other things I've let you get away with.
Beidou: Damn every single one of Yelan's victims came on huh
Cyno: It's Dehya.
Beidou: what
Yelan: Oh?
VioArchenemy: elaborate?
Cyno: The bust.
Kaeya: Hello??
r u sick too?
Cyno: The bust statue that Dunyarzad is making, it's Dehya.
Candace: I really hope the jealousy came from Dehya being sick and not the other way around.
Aether: LMAO
Nilou: Well, does Dehya know now?
Candace: -_-
she fell asleep
Cyno: I must admit Dehya really got,
a head of herself there.
Aether: okay OKAY fine I'll accept this one.
Cyno: Get it? Because a bust statue is the chest up of a person and since Dunyarzad is making one of Dehya, it would also consist of her own head. Like how someone gets ahead of themselves while Dehya also get a sculpted head of herself.
Collei: I come on here in hopes that Hu Tao was simply joking earlier, then this.
@Paimon please kick me out
Paimon: Nah
BunArchenemy: Wait a minute… Rosaria….
Rosaria: you're not slick neither is your girlfriend
BunArchenemy: .
We tried?
Rosaria: You're effort has been horrendous
Eula: On the contrary, I think their effort has been adequate.
Rosaria: You aren't slick either.
Sometimes I think I should volunteer to be experimented on by Albedo.
Albedo: While tempting, Sucrose would be sad at the possibility of you getting hurt and disappointed in me for doing this.
Also basic ethical practice or whatever.
Rosaria: What ethical practice?
Albedo: This nation has the same rules that Mondstadt had on ethical practices, the same law that has the ethically decent working environments rule.
Rosaria: We had one?
Jean: Rosaria.
Kaeya: kdyjflsludtyjld
Rosa nooooo
Rosaria: Back to the horrible pun.
Cyno: I'm guessing it went over your guy's
heads.
Nilou: I liked it. 😊
Rosaria: I guess Dehyarzad is also not the normal list.
Candace: I'm sure the two will be happy to hear that
Xingqiu: Wait, how many people would be on the other list?
Yae: at the very least 9
Albedo: 11
Possibly more if rumors are true about Fontaine sending some of their own transfers here, and there happens to be streamers the twins now.
VioArchenemy: funny thing
Aether: we know streamers from every nation…
that list is definitely growing
Rosaria: 11? isn't it 10?
Albedo: Classified.
Collei: How many relationships are there exactly?
Albedo: 8 technically 9.
Unless some other people are dating without anyone realizing.
Collei: That number is smaller than what I originally thought.
Albedo: Which reminds me.
@Eula I'll be sending you the updated files, thank you for your contributions, it has saved me and Sucrose much time.
Eula: A pleasure to work with the both of you.
Kaeya: ominous
Albedo: I'm surprised you spelt that correctly.
@Everyone Do you guys remember our much earlier discussion on fangs?
Venti: 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
the fun begins
Sayu: Fangs?
Cyno: Fangs? Files?
Albedo: @Yelan Thank you as well, the photos you've collected are quite good.
Yelan: Thank you~
Kaeya: ohohoho
Bennett: Oh I remember seeing this happen!!
Baizhu: Fangs?
Diluc: And here I thought I was removed from the chat
Jean: oh no.
If I have to be here you do too.
Kaeya: JEAN LMFAO
Faruzan: I'm confused, is this supposed to be Gorey? the fangs of creatures?
XanGan: Not again.
Ganyu: I'm listening
XanGan: Ganyu???
Ganyu: oh. uh. I wasn't thinking
Ningguang: Yes, my mind blanks too and my body acts on its own when the prospect of any interesting photos of my wife end up on my table. This is a normal reaction.
Ganyu: Oh no, I'm very much acting of my own accord, Lady Ningguang.
XanGan: Is this what happened last time?
Yelan: Keqing, doll, you are officially the last person to figure that out.
Tighnari: I'm confused.
Yelan: Everyone may DM me for whatever they're interested in.
Lisa: Eula. I swear to be so nice.
You're too kind.
Eula: As if I'd forget, I'm offended you felt you had to remind me.
BunArchenemy: 🥺
VioArchenemy: 🥺
Rosaria: Must I repeat myself.
BunArchenemy: No ma'am!
VioArchenemy: Mayhaps, I'm feeling kinda adventurous.
Kaeya: last words ever
VioArchenemy: Ready to run 😤
Rosaria: Start then.
Sayu: 50(TBD)
Albedo: Ignoring the murder in progress.
Why is the next nation being delayed?
Ei: Ah. That.
Makoto: One of the transferees has been accused of murder before and they'll be doing an extensive background check which prevents everyone else from coming.
Nahida: He was in fact proven innocent during trial however this nation isn't very lenient on making sure their citizens are safe.
Aether: It's probably not helping that Child's was attempting to smug himself over with them and he's y'know
a criminal.
Kunitomo: So am I?
You are too and Lumine?
Sayu: 49 crimes have been committed by the people in this chat since the chat has been started
Kokomi: since the chat started???!
Nahida: Well, that indeed, doesn't help them.
Makoto: Don't worry tho! They will be coming, just delayed! Which reminds me.
Debuts when (*´ω｀*)?
Nahida: Schedule and Announcement is set to release at 19:00
Paimon: uh I may have made a mistake
Nahida: Hmm?
Oz: it's too late…
Makoto: ah
I see
Venti: oooooh that suck😞
f
Aether: F
Kaeya: F
HuTao: f 🙏
Nahida: I would like to formally apologize to my branch's vtubers. It seems both the announcement and debut schedule was released earlier then attended, I understand stand if I'm asking too much but could you guys interact with the fans earlier than we planned?
Nilou: It wasn't your fault! Of course!
Candace: I guess we need to introduce ourselves then.
Faruzan: A small hiccup in schedule but I'm confident we'll do fine!
I'm tired of this.
Collei has added Aether
Aether: Ayo???
Collei: I'm being impulsive out of nervousness for my sudden bird app debut, please help me, I'm done with them.
Aether: Finally someone with some sense! I've been trying to convince Lumine to let me make a chat to get people together! Let me rename the chat.
Collei: no.
Aether: make me permeant admin then
Collei: Only if you don't revoke mine.
Aether: Deal!
Collei has given Aether admin.
Aether has removed the leave function.
Aether has added Ayaka, Yoimiya, HuTao, Venti, Yae, Ei, Zhongli, Kunitomo, Kazhua, 5+ people to chat
Aether has given all members the option to edit nicknames.
Aether has changed their name to Starboy.
Starboy: We are SO back!!!
Yae: Oh finally.
Yae has changed their name to Miko.
Miko: I elect we focus on Jeanlisa first.
Barbara: They're fine.
Kazuha: The miracle that was Ganyu and Keqing getting together is unlikely to happen with Gunnhildr and Minci.
HuTao: Last person I expected to break
Collei: I am so tired.
Kunitomo: she hasn't developed a tolerance for everyone's bullshit yet
it's refreshing honestly
Keqing: Collei, if you need any help just know me and the others will be more than willing to help, I'm sure your Gen mates will help too.
Collei: I'm fine, just nervous and needed an outlet. I may as well put that energy into something productive.
Miko: The best action taken by anyone today.
I'd like to have the satisfaction that I had a hand in that little tango Lisa and Jean call platonic.
Barbara: We should let them be! I have faith.
Yanfei: In who?
Barbara: Honestly?
Neither of them.
But I have faith in both of them.
Venti: I for one have so much faith in them but I'd like to be involved as well (~‾▿‾)~
Diluc: It's inevitable, help the other imbeciles.
Cyno: Give Nari a moment he is fuming real quick.
Tighnari: Kaveh is so frustratingly dense but Alhaitham is so frustratingly stubborn. Neither of them want to confess to the other because they don't want to ruin their relationship with each other, Kaveh is so convinced that Alhaitham is not into him at all and Alhaitham knows Kaveh is, and I quote, "Somewhat into" him but he refuses to make the first move to at LEAST flirt because it could make their friendship awkward. Y'know, despite the fact that if he so much as even slightly smiles at Kaveh, Kaveh will spend the rest of the week gushing about it. Or wh
Cyno: I'll save you guys the wait.
Kazuha: Send them on a double date with Mona and Fischl, their situations are practically the same.
Except for the fact the girls are most definitely flirting with each other.
Ganyu: I'd also like everyone to know YunJin and Shenhe are already being watched over by Yelan.
Yelan: Indeed.
Starboy: AS THE LEADER
Zhongli: Isn't Collei technically the leader as she created the chat.
Starboy: *AS SECOND IN COMMAND
I'M GOING TO MAKE A ROULETTE WHEEL TO CHOOSE WHICH COUPLE WE SET UP
give me a second
Miko: Shall I make a list to make it easier
Starboy: Oooh good idea
Miko: ahem.
Jeanlisa
Kavetham
Eulumber (Eula, Lumine, Amber)
Monafischl
Kokosara
Rannett
Shenjin
Collei: I thought there were eleven?
Miko: f i n e. don't question how I knew which ones Albedo was referencing.
Rosacrose
Kaebedo
ThomaTo
Xiaoven
Starboy: aight it's spinning
Starboy has attached file:
Starboy: My sister and future sister-in-laws: EULUMBER
When do we start
Zhongli: While I don't encourage any type of cheating, I won't say you can't start now and throughout the practice for
the gamer bracket as well as the gamer bracket itself
Venti: You're just leaving that list there for me to see
for f r e e
Aether: you have selective reading
Venti: is that a threat
Ei: Aether. Barbatos.
Venti: Yes Ms. Ma'am.
Barbara: ROSACROSE
OH MY GODS
I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT WAIT
Kazuha: Will the other judges be told?
Zhongli: Of course, so I expect everyone not to use this.
Miko: We can still tease them tho
Zhongli: Yes.
Miko: Great :)
Starboy: now we plan >:3c
Cyno: Lumine Will kill you if she finds out no?
Starboy: Yuh 😃
Cyno: I'll do my best to prevent that.
Starboy: thank you 😭 I cannot describe to you the fear that took over once I saw that arrow point at those three 🥺🥹🥹🥹🥹