Chapter Text
Yelan leaned forward in her chair as she shook the cup in her hand, letting the dice inside rattle around for a bit before pouring them out onto the table.
Once she picked the dice she wanted to keep she took the rest and shook them up in the cup again. A smirk spread across her face as the dice settled into place on the table.
"Good roll…" Yelan said to herself as she took two cards from the top of the deck.
"You always say that. Never got a bad roll before?" Shenhe asked as she took two cards for herself.
"Nope, when it comes to Genius Invokation you can always turn the tides even if the dice don't roll in your favor."
"Hmph, we'll see about that…"
Yelan slid her fingers into the bag of hot chips she had beside her while watching Shenhe plan her first move. She let the spicy powder settle on her tongue before crunching on the chip, humming as she felt the heat spread throughout her mouth.
Trying to ignore the crunching sounds that filled the break room, Shenhe laid out her support cards before dealing damage to one of her opponent's player cards. Yelan's poker face was strong as she scanned through the action cards in her hands.
"Feels like it's been forever since we last played TCG," Yelan said as she executed her move, switching out her acting character before attacking the opponent.
"Yeah, Yun Jin’s schedule has been quite hectic as of late," Shenhe replied as she collected her dice off the table and dropped them into her cup. "So I've had to put in some extra hours."
"Hm, I didn’t think it would be that easy for Yun Jin to have you wrapped around her little finger already," Yelan teased as she reached into the bag to pull out a couple of chips, popping them into her mouth.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, the Shenhe I know usually isn't so eager to work overtime. Plus she seems to be all you talk about as of late. I'd say she's really made an impression on you."
"Is that… a bad thing?" Shenhe averted her gaze as she fiddled with the cards in her hands.
Yelan nearly had to bite her tongue, the urge to continue teasing her subordinate started to itch at her. But the naive and nervous glint in Shenhe’s eyes was enough to pull at her heartstrings. Yelan set her cards face down on the table as she leaned in, placing her elbows on the table and resting her head on her hands.
"Of course not, I think it's great," Yelan replied, a genuine smile replacing the smirk she had on before. "This is the first time I've seen you become so close to someone."
"See, that's the problem," Shenhe sighed as she pushed around one of the dice on the table with her finger. "This is all so new to me. It's already been scary getting to the point we're at now, I'm worried about what it would take for us to become closer…"
"Closer?"
Shenhe froze, her eyes lowered and glued to the table. Every answer she tried to come up with in her mind seemed more embarrassing than the last. She knew she couldn't dance around the question, even if it meant bringing her deepest desires up to the surface.
Shenhe let out a deep sigh, looking back up at her boss. "Yes. Honestly… I think I like her, like-like her."
"Pfft, 'like-like'?" Yelan chuckled as she dug her fingers back into the bag of chips. "Shen, what are you, twelve?"
"I don't know!" Shenhe put her elbows on the table and buried her head in her hands. "This is all so confusing, I'm not sure what I should do…"
"Well, you said it yourself, right? You want to get closer, you want to pursue these feelings. But right now your biggest obstacle is you."
"I know, I know. How could she like me back-"
"That's not what I meant. Your problem is that you have zero self-esteem," Yelan's face grew serious, yet she had a compassionate glint in her eye. "You know, it's ironic. You put yourself in the line of danger for this job every day, nearly risking your life. Yet you can't confess your feelings to someone because you're scared of being rejected."
"Less ironic and more hypocritical…" Shenhe grumbled under her breath. "But you're right. I can't psych myself out like this. I need to tell her."
"Ay, there we go," Yelan smiled as she shoved a couple more chips into her mouth, crunching on them before speaking up again. "You've really grown over these past few months, taking strides that you wouldn't even dare to even think of taking before. I'm proud of you, as your boss and as your friend."
"Thank you," Shenhe replied, that last word hanging in her mind.
Friend.
Suddenly she was reminded of something she'd been meaning to do. "Oh!"
Shenhe leaned over to rummage through her bag on the floor, pulling out the item she was looking for. "Yun Jin gave me a couple of CDs a while back. She told me to keep one and give the other to a friend so… here."
Yelan took the CD held out before her, flipping it and examining both the front and back cover. "Sweet. I'll have to give this a listen on the drive home. Yaknow maybe giving her a gift could be a good first step in showing you care for her."
"That's not a bad idea," Shenhe replied, sticking that thought in the back of her mind as she stared down at the cards laid out on the table. "But enough chatter. Let's get back to the game."
Yelan hummed in response, crunching on another chip before scooping her dice into the cup. After watching Shenhe take her rolls, she shook the cup in her hand. Her brows furrowed as she spilled the dice onto the table, taking all of them back into the cup. This time she shook extra hard, only to let out a quiet grumble as she poured out her dice once more.
"Not good?" Shenhe teased, her face emotionless as she fought the urge to smirk. "Weren't you the one who said there’s no such thing as bad rolls?"
"...Shut up," Yelan muttered as she stuffed more chips in her mouth.
Shenhe held her cards up to her mouth, hiding a slight smile as she watched her Yelan scramble to make her first move.
The two would continue their fierce game of TCG until Shenhe was just barely able to take out her boss's last card with only one card left. Competitive as always, Yelan demanded a rematch. But with their time running out right as Yelan reigned victorious, the two called it a draw and got themselves back to work.
The afternoon sun leaked through the window of Yun Jin's high-rise apartment. Despite it being nearly noon she still had a bathrobe thrown over her pajamas. She stood with a mini watering can in her hand as she went around to water each of her potted plants. Yun Jin had kept various plants long enough to know exactly how much water they needed to stay healthy and vibrant. One thing she could never admit though was how attached she got to each of them.
"Drink up, little guy…" Yun Jin said in a sweet voice as she poured water into a flower pot, watching the soil absorb the moisture.
Once she was finished she went over to the kitchen to dump the rest of the water from the watering can in the sink. However, she was interrupted by a knock on her door.
Yun Jin walked across the apartment to the front door. She stood on her tiptoes as she peeked through the peephole to see who was there. Without hesitation, she opened the door with a wide smile. "Yunning! Come on in."
"Good morning sleepyhead," Yunning teased as she pushed past the front door, carrying a gift bag in her hands. "Somebody dropped this off in the lobby for you,”
"A gift?" Yun Jin asked as she took the gift bag and examined it curiously. Once she spotted the gift tag her eyes lit up as she saw the name scribbled on it. “Oh! It's from Shenhe."
Initially, Yun Jin was a bit taken aback. Shenhe didn’t seem like the gift-giving type, not to say she was selfish, far from it. Moreso that taking initiative like this was something Shenhe long struggled with, so receiving a surprise gift like this caught Yun Jin off guard in the best way possible.
She took the gift bag and walked over to the couch, sitting down and setting the bag on her lap. As Yun Jin reached inside the gift bag, Yunning sat down beside her and curiously peeked over her shoulder.
Inside the gift bag was a light pink purse, its size and form factor similar to the broken purse that sat unused in the back of Yun Jin’s closet. Her mouth hung open in awe as she ran her thumb over the blue and white fur keychains that hung off the side of the purse.
“It’s perfect,” Yun Jin smiled as she brought the purse to her chest, hugging it tight. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t imagining herself hugging Shenhe like this.
"Hm yes, that purse definitely fits your style," Yunning said as she glanced at it. "Do you want me to send a thank you card?"
"No, that's too impersonal, " Yun Jin responded as she shook her head. "This isn’t like a promotional gift from some brand or a gift from a fan. This is from Shenhe, she's…"
Yun Jin shut her mouth the moment she felt like her true feelings were about to slip out. Her fingers nervously fiddled with the strap of the purse as her mind scrambled to fill the silence in the room. That was until Yunning spoke up again.
"I understand. You two seem to have become good friends at this point," Yunning remarked. "I'm sure you'd rather thank her personally."
Friends.
That word couldn't even begin to describe the way she felt about Shenhe. It couldn’t describe the way she always had Shenhe on her mind. It couldn’t describe the high she felt whenever she got Shenhe to crack even the slightest smile. It couldn’t describe why she constantly replayed the memory of her patching up Shenhe’s wound. The feeling of Shenhe’s skin against her fingers, the moment they nearly crossed the line, all of it clear as day.
Yunning could never understand. She could never understand how Yun Jin fell in love with another woman.
Just the idea of saying it out loud made Yun Jin’s stomach twist in knots. For so long she danced around any discussions of love and attraction. She rehearsed the script over and over, readying herself for the lies she had to spin. How one day she’d find herself a boyfriend, how she was just waiting for the right guy to come along, all lies.
The only person she could ever be candid about all this to was Xinyan. If it wasn’t for her Yun Jin would still be trying to change this about herself. And maybe part of her still hoped to. But that was until she met Shenhe, that was when these feelings finally felt so right.
Yun Jin didn’t want to lie anymore, she wanted to be honest, truly honest.
Yunning’s eyebrows furrowed in concern as she leaned forward to catch Yun Jin’s gaze. “Ms. Yun…?”
"Yes, we are quite close. But let me ask you an- uhm, random question." Yun Jin cleared her throat, trying not to make it obvious she was stalling for time as she tried to get her thoughts in order. "Would it be so wrong for two women to become… closer?”
“What do you mean?” Yunning asked softly. As badly as she wanted to prod Yun Jin to explain further, she knew she had to tread carefully. She’d never seen Yun Jin so nervous, it worried her.
Yun Jin leaned her head back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling as her throat ran dry. “Like… lovers?”
The moment those words left her mouth Yun Jin’s eyes squinted shut. She quickly turned to look in Yunning’s direction, yet unable to actually look her in the eyes. Yunning barely had enough time to respond before Yun Jin threw herself into damage control.
“I mean, I want to- I’m-” Yun Jin stuttered. “For two women to love each other, desire each other. Yunning, what if I…”
“Ms. Yun… are you saying you’re-”
Yun Jin caught Yunning’s gaze, a rush of determination coursing through her. She needed to say it herself, it was her truth to tell. “I am. I’m a lesbian.”
Finally, Yun Jin let herself breathe. She ripped off the bandage that clung on for far too long. But she couldn’t let herself feel relieved yet, not until Yunning said something, anything. The longer her manager stared back at her the more Yun Jin wanted to slap the bandage right back on. But just as her apprehension was about to reach a boiling point, she felt Yunning gently take her hands into her own.
“Yun Jin,” Yunning said, a faint but cautious smile spreading across her face. Warmth radiated through her expression, just like the warmth of her hands gently squeezing Yun Jin’s. “Did you… just realize this?”
“No. I’ve known for a while. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but-”
“Honey, you know you’re like a daughter to me right? You can tell me anything, and… I’m so glad you told me this. It doesn’t matter who you love, as long as you’re happy. I’m sorry if you felt like you couldn’t be honest about this with me but just know that I accept and love you fully.”
“It’s not that, It’s just hard telling anybody, you know?” Yun Jin said as she squeezed Yunning’s hands back. “Especially since if the media found out…”
“Right. I promise not to tell a soul about this, not until you’re ready.”
“Thank you Yunning.”
As Yunning pulled her hands away her eyes wandered to the purse that sat on Yun Jin’s lap. “Oh, we were talking about Shenhe earlier were we? What does this have to do with- oh.”
Yun Jin’s eyes widened as blush spread across her cheeks. She held up her hands as she scrambled to explain herself. “Wait! We’re not like that… at least, n-not yet. I mean, if we we’re would that be…?”
Yunning couldn’t help but giggle as Yun Jin became more flustered. “It’s okay, don’t worry. Looking back it was pretty obvious you had a crush on her…”
“H-hey!”
“I’m just saying! Anyway, I can tell how much happier you’ve been since we hired her. You two are adults, if she also feels the same who am I to stop you? But if she ends up breaking your heart then I-”
“Yunning, please…”
“Alright, alright. I just worry about you, that’s all.” Yunning’s eyes wandered toward the bright neon clock that hung on the wall, prompting her to stand up from the couch. “Now come on, we still have errands to run today.”
“I know, I’ll go get ready,” Yun Jin playfully rolled her eyes as she got up from the couch. She put the purse down for a moment as she leaned in and gave Yunning a quick hug. “Thank you again, for being so understanding.”
“No problem, kiddo…” Yunning said as she hugged her back.
She watched as Yun Jin pulled away and went into her bedroom. Yunning sat back down on the couch and pulled out her phone as she waited for Yun Jin to get ready. Waiting for her to pick out an outfit and do her makeup gave Yunning plenty of time to kill. She was nearly done answering her never-ending backlog of business emails when Yun Jin came out of her bedroom, sporting her new purse. Yunning slipped her phone in her pocket as the two of them walked towards the front door of the apartment. She held the door open for Yun Jin before closing and locking it behind her.