Chapter Text
Milan hated how his mother’s words rang in his head, ‘You can’t fret over one and ignore the other.’ It wasn’t what he was doing but yet he wondered. Kate said she knew he had a restaurant; she had obviously looked him up; maybe even found photos of him and Edwina, of him and his family before she got here. what had she imagined his life would be like with her in it?
‘You have your life here and I don’t really have a place in it.’
It didn't seem fair that he was already failing and disappointing her. He hardly had a moment to let the realisation that he had another daughter sink in; an older daughter with a woman he had not thought about in years. A daughter, who looked forward to the moment they would meet, and he hurt her at every turn. Spending most of the moments he had found out about her, arguing with his mother. If not arguing, he would freeze or mess it up to the point Kate had run away from him twice this morning alone.
When Edwina returned last night, she refused to speak with him, Mary joined her and never returned to their bed. He stayed up with every important woman to him within reach feeling like they were a world away. and Ash… he really had not spared her a thought from the moment he saw Mary again… she may not have had his name but he was certain, she never stopped thinking of him, at least in respect to their daughter and now she was ready to close the door on him permanently if he could not be the father their daughter needed, and she would be right to cut him off if only to protect Kate. Ash said it was just the three of them; from the bits of information that floated to him last night as he just stared at them, he knew she was a lawyer, unemployed at the moment and took Simon in after he lost his parents. He seemed like a good kid; if Milan wasn’t shocked at the whole long-lost daughter situation, he would have laughed at all the comments the boy threw at Seema. Having his mother-in-law speechless even if it was for a few seconds always made his day. His father-in-law was one of few words, no less sharp and pointed but at least he spoke less.
The thought of each person in his now expanded family was all but making him dizzy. Still, his priorities were his daughters, both of them. Ash and Kate may feel like they have all the necessary answers, but Milan was not about to let them walk out of his life. He had missed 15 years of her life, he would not miss another day. First, though, the daughter he had the privilege to raise was likely out of her room. As he rounded the corner to his home, he found Edmund Bridgerton, leaning on his car. One look around told him that the kids obviously told their parents, so Violet, Edmund’s wife and some other ladies were there. Cece’s mother likely told Portia Featherington before the girl got the full story out, and no one was a bigger gossip than Portia.
Despite knowing this, Milan hoped that the universe was not fully conspiring against him and Edmund and Violet were the only ones that knew of Kate. She did not deserve for this to become even more dramatic than it already had been.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” he asked.
Edmund quirked his brow as if to question his friend’s mental state, “Here to take you out…” he replied simply.
“You heard… did…” Milan could not bring himself to ask, but turning his face up to his house, he saw Portia with her usual air of disapproval evident even from where he stood.
“Violet is in with Mary, she’ll keep her calm but the rest of them… well, I would not go in there right now.”
“I can’t leave her with them and their… I need to talk to her, and Edwina…” Milan said as he started walking to his home but was stopped by his friend.
“I don’t think that's a good idea. Look… Portia and the herald of Mary’s angels might not be the ideal circumstance right now, but she was talking to Violet about getting a hotel when I was coming out. Violet is calming her down; so are the rest in a way, but more in terms of her keeping the house when she files for divorce… you going in might just create a fight that won't help anyone…”
“Edwina?” he sighed, defeated.
“The gang assembled, I'm guessing. She left when we pulled up. Anthony texted if he could head out. Punishment has been lifted because of this. He is very grateful, the little shit. He really came home high last week. And with a hickey. Saying he was with Edwina doing work. Like those two would ever do something like that together.”
Milan could not form a response. He felt his life slipping out of his grasp and Portia shutting the curtains felt more than symbolic at that moment.
“Come on,” Edmund jolted him out of his spiral, “Let's go get a drink…”
“Not in Mayfair. If they know, everyone knows and I just…”
“The city then?”
“Please…” Milan replied quietly as he got into the car sinking into the seat, hoping that when they drove out, it would not be obvious that the coward in him won yet again.
Milan did not need to tell Edmund where to go, they were at Nectar in just over an hour due to the weekend traffic. The restaurant was not due to be open for hours, which meant he had time to drown his sorrows before his staff would come. The few days he hoped to take off spread over the summer just became a bigger chunk. He headed straight for the bar, not waiting for Edmund to catch up with him, he poured out a shot of bourbon before he turned to a sympathetic Edmund and poured out a drink for his friend.
“I just promised Ash that I was not an alcoholic; I feel like that might become a lie.”
“I think anyone would need a drink after such a shock…”
Milan could only just stare and grip the bar top as he contemplated pouring another. If he was too drunk, he would not be able to speak with Edwina or try speaking with Kate again. Hell, it could be the final nail in the coffin before Mary would actually throw him out. But yet he just wanted to take the bottle and not stop until it was empty, find another and repeat.
“When Anthony said it, I didn't believe it. He said about a 911, and well after last week… he snuck out and I thought it was a very elaborate way to get out of trouble for running off when he knew he was grounded. But Winnie called…”
“Edmund… I don’t need to know how this travelled through the grapevine… I’m fine with you Bridgertons knowing… It's Portia and those gossiping crones… they are with my wife… saying everything that we have fought against, that we never allowed them the room to speak to us about… I have created a gap in my marriage for Mary…” Milan could hardly finish his train of thought and took another shot.
“Milan… I know this is tough,” Edmund started, only interrupted by Milan’s scoff. “But this isn’t about you… people will know about her…”
“Fuck” Milan screamed as he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes as if to push back the migraine he was certainly going to have… "What do I do, Edmund?”
“What do you mean?” Edmund looked stunned to have had the question thrown at him. What could he really know about this situation? His family could probably be traced back to the Mayfair, having every soul and drop of blood accounted for. Milan shook his head to dislodge the train of thought forming. He could hardly care about Edmund’s ancestry when he had a present dilemma at hand.
“Ed, I just found out I have another teenage daughter…”
“15-years-old I hear…” Edmund teased. “Sorry.” He said when he noted the defeated look on Milan’s face
“She probably just had a birthday…” Milan said to no one as he looked out to the street, watching people passing and wondering if they had a life-altering moment coming or just passed.
“Hey, just… Milan breath. Forget everyone else… just… what do you know so far?”
“What? About Kate?”
“About everything…”
“Well, her mum is this cute junior I knew back in Berkeley,”
“We will circle back to the ‘cute’… Mary told Violet she didn't know your name…”
“Well, it is not like we were friends. It was senior year, the last of everything. I had seen her around and learnt her name the night we finally slept together. We had never talked before that night. There was always something or someone else… come on, you weren't a saint in college”
“No… but I never got anyone pregnant in college…”
“No you waited until they had their first job post graduation… sorry…”
“We fell in love.”
“And I with Mary”
“But just months before, you were thinking about this…”
“Ash… and don't make it sound like that. The last time I saw Mary, she was like 14. I wasn't exactly thinking about her that way then. It was surprising to see her like that and… well things happen and I do not regret them. I don't regret the life I have built or my family…”
“But…”
“No buts!”
“Milan!”
“Even if she found me… like got my name or whatever… I was just starting out in Boston, working in case our parents cut our trust funds... Well, mine… Mary didn’t have hers till later but they still sorted her fees and sent money, ‘in case the Sharma boy wasn’t doing enough’. What would have happened if we found each other then?”
“You think this is better?”
“If I had not met Mary that summer… I wouldn’t have this.” Milan gestured around the room they were in. He looked at the photos that hung on the wall, which included his daughter and wife. The menu he worked tirelessly on and that Mary got her friends involved because she was not about to lose her figure like she could be anything but the most beautiful woman to him.
“I won’t have Nectar. I would have just gone back to Berkeley, got an MBA and done exactly what my parents wanted. And sure… I would have looked Ash up… we would have Kate together… but Mary is… Mary is the one I want. She is THEE ONE… but I can’t stop all these scenarios and none… none are okay. Because Mary didn’t want another kid… and Ash isn’t Mary and… I have kids with two women… and that so far feels right even as everything is… Not easy or straightforward. And I know it probably will get worse before it remotely gets better… if it gets better. God, please let it get better!”
“Alright, alright… I get it… You don't have to justify it to me but it's good to know that.”
“That what? I wasn't going to break my family and run off with someone I hadn't thought about in years. Ash was great… is great… she is a great mum to Kate from our brief re-introduction, and fuck she is still…”
“Milan…” Edmund warned.
“I’m not blind and I'm certainly not stupid. She left before I woke up, I came to Mayfair and you know the rest. Right now, I'm just glad she is reasonable and isn't using Kate as some bargaining chip… she is open to us getting to know each other, but Kate has been turned off from that idea since my brain shut down last night.”
“Put your foot in it?”
“That would imply I said or did anything other than an impressive statue imitation,” Milan replied sarcastically before taking another shot and making Edmund chuckle.
“And when I was not mute, I was arguing with my parents. Hell this morning, I could have had a moment with her making pancakes… which she helped with and said nothing about hating… Instead, I argued with my mother. My SICK mother, mind you. Kate served out her breakfast and reminded her of her meds… they've only known each other a week and… and now we have the DNA test set for Monday so I can get my name on her birth certificate… like… they had time to set that up, to do God knows what else… but to call me and let me know I had a kid in another state ... and now I have messed up our first interaction and she… Kate asked me to walk away.” Milan said in a whisper staring at the glass, feeling closer to tears with each sentence. There were a lot of things he expected to hear from his daughter as a dad. Sure it was only Edwina then, but hearing Kate tell him she had seen him, all he had to offer and wanted none of it… he could not explain how it felt like a punch to the gut, and he had still not got back the air into his lungs after being winded by her rejection. What was worse, he wondered if that was what he had made her feel.
‘You have your life here and I don’t really have a place in it.’
“Milan, you just met that kid and it was a series of, well, not your best moments. But you are a good dad. I see how you are with Edwina. You raised a great kid; and if this Ash is as good a mum as you say…"
“She is!”
“Well she raised your daughter all these years and if she isn't making this harder than it needs to be, then you have a chance. Get to know the kid; she sounds, well, she survived a week with Chandi and with no previous experience of your mother. Kate’s meant to be Ash’s kid and Edwina Mary’s. But they are both yours and this situation isn’t going to stop being what it is… just make the most of it.”
“I know… what do I do about Monday?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do I take flowers or something?”
“You want to take flowers… to a DNA testing? For who? Kate? Ash? Both?”
“Don’t forget Simon…”
“Who?”
“Ash has a godson that lives with them. Lost his parents, I don’t have the details other than the dad was a cop and might have been shot in the line of duty, and mum had cancer. It was not the most important thing to learn at that dinner but… he seems like a good kid…”
“Well… will the kid appreciate tulips?”
“Fuck off, Edmund…”
“No seriously! Why on earth are you thinking about taking flowers? There’s a shit load to digest here and you are thinking about taking flowers to an ex…”
“Not an ex…”
“To AN EX..." Edmund persisted, "Who had your child…”
“I don’t know what to do here, okay! What is expected… she… she keeps running away from me and it's going to be awkward and I don't want things to get any worse. I just… I just want her to know I'm here and I want to try…”
“Milan… I hate to ask this, well now… after… but… what if… what if…”
“She’s mine… this DNA thing is a formality. She looks like my mum and Ash never struck me as the kind of person to lie… especially about this.”
“You saw her around campus and spoke to her the one time you slept together…”
“I know okay… imagine having your mum’s young self and her current self mad at you. It's a head fuck… but not enough for me to doubt that Kate is mine…”
“Okay… I won't ask again. At least we are not evenly matched… two for two….”
"Why are we friends again?”
“Our wives are friends… and you own a wonderful restaurant that has a bar…” Edmund quipped, raising his still full glass as a toast to his friend; he was the one driving them back after all considering Milan took another shot.