Chapter Text
HELLO PEOPLE, QUICK TW: Suggestive situations (not smut), I know that some people are ‘anti-teens having intercourse’ but it happens all the time irl if you like it or not, so might mention it, but again, no smut, they don’t even have the experience, it’s just mentioned.
His fur covered hand reaches mine, and our fingers interlock. Jack looks at me, then I look at him, and now we are looking at eachother.
“Y-Yes” Jack stutters, his finger tapping on his thigh, his fingers slowly move away. Jack gets up and dusts himself off, reaching his hand to pull me up.
“thanks” my voice whispers, barely being heard. The smaller of us two pull me up, I signal them to lead the way and as we walk, I fall into my mind.
‘Mackenzie ruined it, I swear I’ll throw him off this balcony’ My non-sober mind thinks, as I’m lost in thought, I’m pulled back by small splashes and I realize I’m holding a cup, clearly liquor, but I can’t tell what, it reaks, maybe tequila? But where would I get tequila, no, I think it’s vodka. I don’t even remember when or where I got it, my hands tend to go for anything to hold when I feel myself slipping, no one seemed upset so I guess it’s mine now.
I take a sip, it sucks, I take another sip, still sucks. I look forward to see Jack and Mackenzie up ahead, they seem to be in a heated discussion, maybe something about…cars? Or space, Mackenzie used to tease Jack by saying stuff like the earth was flat or whatever hippie crap he could think of to upset him.
I keep walking, blanking out and daydreaming, then being pulled to reality then back to daydreaming. That is until I feel the cool air and fresh smell and I can tell we are on the balcony. I look around, Jack and Mackenzie seem to not be here, I think Mackenzie got swarmed by people, or Jack had to puke, probably the first. My eyes look for anywhere to sit, thinking of our old seating arraignments, I sit on the corner.
The music vibrates around the house, staring at my cup, even the vodka shakes, I take another sip and I’ll let you guess the taste, but surprisingly, I don’t hate it as much, I take another sip, and another, slowly feeling better each time, my mind calms, I feel the noises from inside blend in to one, I chug the rest and suddenly I don’t feel so bad, maybe a little less shy too. I let go of my cup and the wind blows it away.
“Hey where did Rusty g-?” I hear Mackenzie say as the door opens, out walking the two, clearly they were too focused to know I was here.
“Oh hi…wait, is that my glass!?” Mackenzie says, looking at the side, I see a signature, Mackenzie written in sharpie. “That had loads of hardcore Vodka. How you feeling.” He continues, giggling and smirking.
“I’m fine.” I say, passive aggressive, I’d usually say sorry, but right now, I don’t feel sober enough to care if he’s hurt.
“Are you sure Rusty, you look a little..interesting? And you sound different.” Jack asks concerned. It warms my heart that he seems worried.
“I’m fine, sincerely, just a little tired.” I say, sweetness in my tone.
(Ok sorry to interrupt, but that first part was written MONTHS ago, I’ve just been busy with school and haven’t really had time to continue, and I fell out of my Bluey phase, then back in, and now I’m here, during that time, I lost the documentary with my plan, could be for the better as I had like 9 other chapters planned which could do caused chaos, so I’m going back to the first strategy, write what I feel at the time)
Jack gives me a non-believing look, clearly he can see through me, but he doesn’t argue, instead sitting next to me, and wrapping and arm around my shoulder. I think it’s so I don’t fall over, even on the railing, I feel like I’m flying, and I’m about to trip.
Whatever the reason, it causes my face to go red, a feeling of fire burns my checks, being the positive counterpart to the burning of the vodka’s taste.
Girlfriend by Hemlocke Springs plays. I can barely tap my index finger to the beat. It’s pretty nice, everything is nice, the cold balcony, the music playing, the cold but forgiving breeze that only makes me feel warmer inside, and him.
I am Rusty, 16 years old, and in love with his best-friend, Jack. I’m not sure what I am, I think I am bisexual, the label sounds right.
But as images of Jack flash through my brain, I start thinking of her… Indy, the girl I decided to date, mostly out of panic, I feel so bad, I know I’ve got to break up with her, but how, I’ve got that up coming date? Maybe I should say something before. I’m not sure what day it was on again, Monday? Sunday? And here I am, it’s 7:32 PM, and I am drunk on a balcony with my childhood friends, this isn’t where I thought it’d be.
Would I have been disappointed in myself? I’m sure my mum and dad are home worried sick for me, Dusty’s probably waiting for me to come home to play Smash Bros, and I’m here, drunk on a balcony, was Digger like this?
As questions about my own life fill my head, I don’t even realize Jack now has a cup.
”What’s that?” I muster.
”Oh Rusty! Thought you clocked out for today, this is something called a sangria? Basically a very fruity cocktail.” Jack responds, I think I’ve seen my mum have one of those over Digger’s 18 birthday.
”Any good?” I ask.
”Yeah, no. Not at all, taste like those funky fruit punches we used to have back when. The ones Calypso brought for the new years.” Jack said.
We were interrupted by Mackenzie standing up.
”Where you going dude?” I say, things getting fluffy in my vision.
”I’m sorry, Bluey was wrong, she said ‘just stay a second, it’ll be like old times’. I’ve been here for 12 minutes, and nothing is working.” Mackenzie says, tears building up.
”Is everything alright Mackenzie?” Jack asks, he always was better with emotions.
”That’s it! It’s not, this was nothing but a painful reminder, a sign everything is gone, Bluey told me, that we could go back to how we were, but we can’t, we won’t, we haven’t! I’m sorry, but if you haven’t noticed, I’m a mess, you’re a mess, hell Rusty you are drunk out your ass, I know you can’t see it, but take a look in a mirror when you get home!! All I wanted was for this to be like old times, for us to laugh and joke, to make friendship bracelets? I don’t know, it’s been so long, I can’t even remember what we did!” Mackenzie broke down. He fell to his knees and was crying uncontrollably. It was pitiful in a way, like seeing a kid cry, I think that’s all Mackenzie felt like, a kid.
”I get it.” Jack said, loud enough for us to hear it.
I look over at him and shoot him a confused look.
”It’s, we’ll it’s hard, you know, we used to be close kids, skipping down the side walks, but we grew up, we always are, and we always will, and that’s what sad. I still feel like the same kid who entered the GlassHouse kindergarten and made a single friend, playing a small game of army. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m scared, I’m sick, I’ve become the worst possible version of myself trying to detach from my own desires to run around screaming with my friends without being scared someone will look at me weirdly.” Jack says, starting to cry, and soon I cry too.
”I keep wondering…” I start, getting everyone to try to look at me through teary eyes. “I see myself in the mirror, and I keep wondering, is this what the kid who played army and space wanted, the kid who ran around with face paint would be smiling, looking at me drinking any thing I can get my hands on to stop feeling like I’m always messing up.” I finish, now we are all breaking down on a balcony.
I move closer to Jack, almost without hesitation. Maybe that drink was too hardcore.
”I’m sorry, I’ve been a bad friend, but for the record, you are still my favourite version of you, and I am more than happy to have you near me.” I say, I should have told him about my feelings, back then, and now; I shouldn’t have agreed to Indy, I’m such an asshole.
”Ok ok, I’m too sober for this, but we should talk about this, I’ll just go grab a drink and we can continue.” Mackenzie says, leaving both me and Jack alone.
”You haven’t been a bad friend, I’m sorry, that night at the sleep over, I should tell you something… I remember it, vividly.” Jack admits, and reminders of everything that happened that night shook me, I’ve been so stressed about it, I forgot about it. Jack brought out Vodka after a journey of self discovery, and then we kissed.
”OH oh…what do you remember exactly?” I ask.
”I remember warmth, your heat, mine, the heat that came from when we kissed. I think I was so drunk I forgot everything else, but I vividly remember that you have soft lips..” My best friend slash crush says, staring off because of how awkward this must be from his side.
“Oh…do you remember, how you felt?”
“I-I…I Uhm,” he took a breath “I felt…alive? Like something in me woke up and was running around, like when we went to the creek for Coco’s 12 birthday and we ran away to go star gazing at night. It was that kind of excitement I felt.” Jack says, clearly blushing.
“I felt…” I say, I never really processed how I felt after.
Jack looks over, awaiting an answer, and I stress, I know I’m meant to say something, and he’s waiting…what if he doesn’t like my answer, what if I’ve actually tricked myself into thinking I liked him and I’m now panicking realizing I don’t!!? Why doesn’t the text books or bible say something about this??!
“Something, I felt something…”Jack must hate me for sure, ‘Something’ is so bad, he’s gonna leave-
“I, wasn’t expecting something so vague, if it doesn’t bother you, is that something? Is it positive?” He says, and I swear I can see stars in his eyes, his big beautiful eyes, his funky but nice ears, fluffy and well maintained fur, he’s everything, and I’m just Rusty, and he still wants me.
“I-Oh, I felt, can I have another.” I shoot out, starting to sweat in anxiety. “LIKE CAUSE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW, I WAS DRUNK AND I CANT MAKE A GOOD DECISION IM SO SORRY BUT MAY I-“
I get interrupted by Jack, finishing the space between us. His lips on mine sends a burn down my spine and to my tail, the snitch was shaking as if it was in a shakira music video and I am not a fan of that. What I am a fan of, this moment. I want to stay like this for forever, for now, for a minute, for later.
But sadly he pulls away after a few seconds.
“So?”
“I…I enjoyed that, I really did, I want more.” I say, my tail still shaking, I think I’m too drunk for this.
“I wouldn’t hate it, but you don’t taste that good.” Jack jokes, making a yuck sound affect, I think it’s the vodka.
As the night goes on, we soonly learn Mackenzie got distracted with Bluey, and just how powerful hormones mixed with alcohol can be.
I slammed Jack against a door, slowly opening it to a bedroom, as far as I know, this is the guest room. I close and lock the door, and shove Jack onto the bed, slowly kissing his cheek, leading down to his neck and trying to lightly bite it.
Everything in me wants to continue, but it doesn’t feel right.
“I’m sorry.” I say, feeling embarrassed for chickening out.
“What?” Jack says, a scared reflection, I’m sure I’ve upset him.
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to have sex with you, not tonight.” I say, cringing a little.
“Oh, that’s it, thank god, I thought you were about to say we shouldn’t be doing this.” Jack sighs relieved.
“But, you aren’t mad I chickened out?” I ask.
“You didn’t chicken out Rusty, you are more then aloud to decide what you want to do with your body, this is meant to be good for both of us, so if this doesn’t feel good for you, I’d stop each time.” Jack says blushing, leaving a light kiss on my cheek.
I really am lucky to have Jack. He’s everything and more.
”So now what?” I ask, feeling a little sick from all these emotional roller coasters.
”What about…we just, go home? You can stay over at mine, we can watch a movie or just sleep.” Jack says smiling.
”Isn’t a sleepover what cause all this?” I ask, giggling.
”Yes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Jack says, leaning in for another kiss, less steamy this time.
THERE YOU GO!!! ANOTHER AMAZING (/j) CHAPTER, SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG, IVE JUST BEEN LIKE MACKENZIE, A MESS. BUT EVERYTHING IS GOING, I REALLY AM HAPPY TO HAVE THIS GOING TOO. PLUS, ITS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER, THAT IN ANY INTIMATE SITUATION, BOTH MUST BE ALRIGHT AND FINE WITH IT, AND ITS NOT EMBARRASSING TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE IN THAT MOMENT, EVEN IF YOU LOVE THEM
-JOLENE!