Chapter Text
When he was 15, Pavitr Prabhakar’s life was simple.
Much simpler than it was right now.
He's standing on a nearby rooftop, the sounds of cars and the chill of the air somehow having no effect on him suddenly as he curls in on himself, shoving his hands into his face and trying to stop his racing heart and the tears falling down his face.
Stupid. Stupid, stupid stupid– what were you thinking?
Congratulations, Pavitr. you just ruined your life.
He could still feel the fading warmth on his lips, the blood on his tongue and the unmistakable taste of Hobie.
His phone lights up, a loud buzz that makes Pavitr jolt and fumble to pull it out of his pocket.
2 unread messages from ♡ hobie!! ♡
Bzzt!
3 unread messages from ♡ hobie!! ♡
Bzzt!
4 unread messages from ♡ hobie!! ♡
He groans, reminds himself to feel bad about this later, and blocks Hobie's number.
Pavitr tries not to feel the sting of pain that echoes around in his chest, not sure if it was heartache, or the floral constricting his lungs again.
These past few days had.. not been kind to him, to put it one way.
His first and actually, main problem, was the flowers.
The stupid flowers.
Pavitr had confessed! He told Hobie about his stupid crush on him, gotten his heart practically stomped on, and was completely ready to move on and come back after a few hours to lie and tell Hobie that he was joking, that he never actually liked him like that, and just left because he saw something happening that needed direct intervention from Spiderman ASAP.
(Pavitr knew Hobie wouldn't believe it for a second, but with enough of Pavitr hammering down his own feelings and a few fake smiles, Hobie would cave and they could go back to their own normal best-friendship without Pavitr's icky feelings getting in the way.)
And yet, Pavitr couldn't stop coughing up flowers. And he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Pavitr hissed between coughs, staring at the hologram on his wrist of the same medic he’d spoken to all those days ago.
“I mean,” She said simply, “If you confessed, and your feelings aren't reciprocated, then normally it would count and the flowers would die out within the next few hours.” She shrugged, making Pavitr scowl at the hologram. “You’ll have a few leftover flowers, but not that many.”
Pavitr stared at the ground of the rooftop, at the piles upon piles of flowers littered around him. “..What’s ‘not that many’ to you?” He asked, looking up at her awkwardly.
Apparently, it was a lot less than what he was choking up.
Which, great. Just wonderful. He couldn’t go back to Hobie like this!
He couldn't take it if he ended up needing to be taken care of again – to be that close to the punk, to be held like that, to fuel the love built up in Pavitr's heart for him – just to have the crushing realization that it would all mean nothing to Hobie.
After the flowers wouldn't go away, Pavitr didn't really know what to do. He could go to Gayatri, but Hobie would find him there for sure, and he really didn't feel like talking to him right now. As much as he loved all his other friends, he didn't know any of them well enough to be comfortable staying over.
Hobie would let me stay over, if I asked. I've always been able to stay with him when I wasn't feeling well.
He feels more than unwell, right now. He feels sick to his stomach, and air refuses to enter his lungs properly when he tries to breathe.
So Pavitr decided not to stay anywhere specific on the first couple of days. He swung back and grabbed his costume from his apartment, along with some extra clothes, and left a note for his Aunt. As he was leaving he spotted his bag by the door, picked it up as well, and slung it around his shoulder before he left.
He didn’t want to be around Gayatri, Miles, Gwen– He didn’t want to be around anybody right now.
Pavitr hasn’t wanted to be this alone in.. quite some time.
He remembers, after he’s changing into his spiderman outfit on some nearby rooftop, that he used to go back to some old, abandoned homes back towards the edge of the city when he really, really needed space.
He hasn't been there in quite some time, the last time being when Gayatri found him. She had sat down on the couch with him, petting his hair in sympathy while he vented about why exactly he had gone out this time.
It was a habit of his. Something would happen, something bad, usually, like a failed test or somebody shouting at him, and Pavitr would disappear for days on end without telling anybody. It wasn't something he was proud of, but he was afraid to be around others when he was like this.
He was Pavitr! He was the kindest, sweetest person anybody knew. He can’t be mad, can’t be allowed to be so mean and imperfect. That’s for the bullies and, sometimes, the teachers. Never Pavitr. So he went off for a couple days to cool down, so that his anger never affected anybody.
It wasn’t bottling things up, it wasn’t hiding his emotions, he was just.. Taking time off.
When Gayatri found him, curled up on the couch, digging his hands into his face painfully, she was understanding. She listened to him, helped him work through his problems, and assured him that he would never intentionally hurt anybody, and how sure she was of that.
Afterwards, she softly explained how he couldn't keep doing this. She made him aware of the days he would go missing, without a trace, only for him to show back up with a smile and pretend he was always there.
None of the teachers really cared or noticed when he was away. All the homework and assignments he needed to do still showed up on their desks, and even though he missed a few classes, they never marked them as absences just because of how wonderful a student he was.
Gayatri convinced him to stop going, because it was a bad habit, and made his Maya auntie worried when he disappeared for so long.
So, he tried his best never to return there. He told himself that he would allow himself one slip up, one time when he could go back. And, after that promise, he found it easier to stay away under the guise of ”My current issue isn't the worst it could be, if I go now, I won't be able to go when I really need it.”
Right now felt like a good enough time to use his last visit.
The homes, though abandoned, held a special place in Pavitr's heart. Nobody really visited them anymore, most too worried about them collapsing, and rebuilding was too much of a hassle – so they were just left to rot.
Pavitr wasn't Spiderman when he started visiting this place. And though the webs would have helped, he didn't need them to strategically place beams and supports throughout the house, keeping them up where it was needed. There was little he could do about the broken walls.
Standing in front of one of the houses that was melded into a large row of them, Pavitr clutches his extra clothes, sighing heavily as he stumbles through the door.
The walls were bricked and mossy, windows still smashed in like they always were. His supports had, surprisingly, held up to the trial of time, still holding strong to this day. It was a huge rush of nostalgia for Pavitr– it felt like he was thrown back in time a couple years.
His feet felt like cinder blocks tied to his legs, lifting them felt like a chore, the toll of not sleeping well sinking into his brain and tying chains to his mind.
He trudged inside, stopping only when a rush of dizziness hit him and he had to curl over on the front steps, choking out purple flowers he was too tired to clean up.
The journey to the comfortable, springy green couch in the house's living room was a long and painful one. Pavitr's body ached, he hadn't slept properly in.. at least three days, which for somebody who slept perfectly up to that point, felt terrible.
He walked through the empty hallway, feeling nostalgic at the familiar dripping sound that resonated somewhere within the house, and pushed through the door leading to the large room with windows on either side, the room that he had dragged a large unused couch into and used to sleep on.
His clothes and bag dumped on the floor, Pavitr fell onto the couch and instantly blacked out.
God, it felt so good to sleep when he knew he wasn't expected to get back up again.
When Pavitr woke, who knows how many hours later, he groaned and rolled over, shoving his face back into the cushions of the couch.
God, how was it possible to feel so refreshed and yet so sluggish at the same time? He'll never understand people who could sleep in for over eight hours straight.
If Hobie were here, he'd make fun of me, and then help me get out of bed and make me some of his atrocious british breakfast food, would ask me what was wrong and try to help–
Pavitr barely got a warning before a rush of pain spiked through his mind, making him gag and lean over the couch, violently choking out a different array of flowers as his lungs fought to inhale, the seconds of pain turning into minutes of agony as he couldn't keep a steady flow of air, and he started feeling lightheaded.
Eventually, he evened out, and collapsed back onto the couch with a light groan of pain. He cast a glance at the flowers, barely recognizing the types.
Foxgloves, black roses, and more yellow carnations.
His stomach growled. Loudly alerting him of how hungry he was.
Only problem, he really didn't feel like swinging today. or, just moving around a lot in general. He flips over and throws his arm over his head, wishing his stupid headache would go away.
His stomach again growls, demanding attention, and Pavitr finally gives in.
He let out a heavy sigh (Ignoring how he immediately has to inhale more air again and struggles to do so) , repositioning himself and squinting at the light that hit his eyes, emanating from the two large windows in the room.
Pavitr glanced down at the watch on his hand, blinking at the universe number he had pulled up.
..Okay, so, on one hand, the food in Gwen's dimension was pretty terrible. It wasn't tasty, it was bland, fake American food, and he would rather die than pick it over his own dimension's beautifully made, perfectly spiced meals.
But, on the other hand, the food he did have was.. a long way away from him. And Gwen probably had gelato– Or, at the very least, ice cream.
So, he stumbled off of the couch and sluggishly picked up one of his shirts, slipping into it before creating a portal and walking through it.
Gwen's apartment was messy, and he was incredibly glad he caught it at a time when neither her nor her father was home.
He rummaged through her fridge and pulled out a tupperware of pizza that looked somewhat edible, opening her freezer and blinking at the different flavors.
Classic vanilla, Cherry and Chocolate, Rocky Road, something called “Cookies over texas”? God, he'll never understand Americans.
He frowns at them. He only really needs one tub, and doesn't have a distinct preference between any of these flavors.
Hobie likes the one with the little chocolate caramel turtles, Pavitr's brain supplies, ever so helpful, and he nearly drops his tupperware at the full body jolt his chest gives.
He grabs the tub of rocky road and hastily closes the freezer.
After leaving a note on her fridge thanking her for the food, and promising to pay her back one day, he walked back through his portal and fell back over onto the couch, placing the ice cream tub onto one of the side tables and opening the pizza container.
It was cold.
He eats it anyways, cringes at how it tastes viciously of cheese and tomato with no other toppings.
Afterwards, his appetite is lost, so he leaves the ice cream for later.
He lays on the couch for.. Some amount of time. He’s not quite sure. The light from the windows gets darker and darker until the chill seeps into Pavitr’s skin, and he shivers from the draft of air running through the house.
He reaches over and grabs his bag, hoping there’s something warm to wear in it.
Dumping out the contents onto the floor, his eyes catch on a bright flash of gold.
The stuffed tiger Hobie gave him.
He didn’t even remember putting it in there.
Carefully, he reaches down and picks it up, slotting his hands under its plush front legs and holding it up to his face.
“..Hey there.” Pavitr smiles, tilting his head at the stuffie and petting its fur head with his thumb.
He fiddles with the tiny golden wrist cuffs, and notices tiny engravings just like the ones Pavitr wears on his actual suit. His heart soars at Hobie's attention to detail, how much care he clearly put into making it.
He takes in a deep breath, face twisting in pain as his lungs suddenly spasm, making him clutch the plushie tighter as he tries to clear his throat, coughing into his elbow several times.
When did it get so hard to breathe?
Pavitr sighs, finally relaxing back into the couch when his coughing subsided. He stared into the plushie’s brown, plastic eyes, and smiled slightly.
“You’re just a little guy, aren’t you?” Pavitr said, booping its nose gently. “You’re just a little guy.”
He slowly brought the tiger close to his face and pressed a small kiss to its head, rubbing his fingers over the soft fur and petting it comfortingly, allowing himself a small smile as he pulled the tiger to his chest and snuggled into it.
Pavitr found a small blanket tucked away in his bag and threw it over himself, holding the plushie in his arms and leaning back down, sleep coming easy to him.
He didn’t remember his dreams when he woke up, only the warm feeling that accompanied them. He’s not surprised to feel the same sluggishness consuming his brain as before.
He hates feeling like this. Hates being here, hates doing this.
But, it’s so easy to just lay down and do nothing.
So easy to just ignore everything else.
Pavitr can’t get up. He can roll over, he can reach the ice cream tub and shovel the sweet into his mouth, he can feel the need to move around, the urge to do something other than just lay there, but he can’t get up. He makes several attempts, but his body has already settled into the mindset he gets whenever he comes here, and the tiredness seeps into his bones easily.
So, he doesn’t. He feels more pathetic the less he moves, and the more pathetic he feels, the less motivation he has to get up. For a moment, he wonders if Hobie would approve of this or not.
Probably not.
He supposes it's routine at this point. Whenever he comes to this place, the time just sort of.. slips away from him. Minutes blend into hours. Hours blend into days.
Just a little longer, and I'll go back and explain everything, he echoes, but the words feel far too familiar. Just a little longer.
He has lots of time to think.
Lots of time to reflect.
He has time to rewind, hit play and dissect that moment piece by piece. Feeling Hobie’s hand on his chin, stopping him in the middle of his sentence and guiding him forwards gently until their lips met. Time to remember the warmth that flooded through him like a tidal wave when Hobie kissed him, time to remember how the waves pulled back just as quickly as they came and left Pavitr gasping for air.
Hobie.. probably didn't mean to hurt him like that.
No, it was Pavitr's fault for taking it that seriously.
Because.. yeah. of course Hobie wasn't in love with him. He was all for dramatics, wasn't he? showing off, being a tease, being inconsistent.
He stares at the ceiling, tears pricking the edges of his eyes. Kissing Pavitr like that, watching him freak out– it was just a part of Hobie’s game to him.
A part of him hops to Hobie's defense, he wouldn't do that, he cares about you too much. If you misinterpreted it–
His mind flashes back to the look of shock, of realization on Hobie's face when Pavitr pulls back.
A seed of hope plants itself in Pavitr's chest, latches onto his heart and pulls .
The sharp pull of teeth, of jaws around his heart don't give in so easily.
Out of everything he could've said, 'I knew it was me'?
You’re delusional if you think he meant anything else.
He furiously rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, drying his tears.
..He tries to stop thinking about it.
A day passes. The next time he hungers and there’s no food available in the house, he opts to finally pull himself up and walk out to the local markets. The terrible food from Gwen's place motivates him enough not to steal from any of his other friends.
Pavitr musters up the energy to get up and put on his suit, lazily dragging his mask over his face and walking out of the house. He steps on something soft and crunchy in the hallway, but doesn’t care enough to look down and see what.
His costume is hot, it clings to his body uncomfortably as he walks through the crowd, plastering on a smile as he greets anybody who waves at him. Pavitr’s stomach rumbles and he quickly approaches a Samosa vendor and orders.
“Tum theek ho?”
Are you okay?
Pavitr looks up at the man running the stand, who is giving him a concerned look. Pavitr understands, it must be a little disheartening to see Spiderman, the great protector of the city, so.. down.
“Ha sab theek hai. keval ek hee baat hai ki cheejen mere lie utanee achchhee nahin rahee hain.” He nods and smiles, though the vendor can't see it, he must have heard it in Pavitr's voice, because he nods and passes him his samosa.
Pavitr pulls out his wallet to pay, but the man waves him off. “Nihshulk,” He said, with the kindest smile. “Mujhe aasha hai ki aap jald hee behatar mahasoos karenge, Spiderman."
Free, I hope you feel better soon, Spiderman.
Pavitr feels a sharp pang of happiness followed by the beauty of community flowering in his chest as he is left speechless for a moment. “I– Dhanyavaad,” He thanked, blinking away the tears under his mask to the best of his ability.
He wished the man a good day, and decided he felt good enough to swing back to his hideout instead of walk.
As he stepped into the house, Pavitr cringed at the mass of flowers that had accumulated throughout the hallway. His head was pounding, and he wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep again.
Kicking the flowers away, he trudged carefully into the living room and lazily pushed the door shut behind him with his foot, took a bite out of his samosa, and slumped back over on the couch ready to lay down for another hour, adding onto the... god, had it been days already? …since he had arrived.
Oh well. A little longer couldn't hurt, it wasn't like anybody minded, anyways, or they probably would have been looking for hi–
A loud creaking noise interrupts his train of thought, as the door to the room he was in is pushed open slightly.
Stupid, stupid spidey sense, never works when he needs it. He's seriously about to file a complaint to..
...I don't know, god? He can't exactly complain to a spider, can he?
He purses his lips and frowns into the couch, taking a moment to consider if it was actually possible to be upset with an insect or not.
Arachnid, whatever.
Eh, he probably couldn’t. Either way, he’s still upset that people keep managing to sneak up on him like this. It’s getting really frustrating, having his senses all on the fritz.
He shifts and represses a sigh that threatens to rise out of him. Oh well, he should probably check who just walked in.
Thankfully, his powers work enough to give Pavitr a small burst of energy to use, and he prepares himself mentally to push himself up.
He expects it to be Gayatri, looking at him with that disapproving expression. “Pav,” She would say, shaking her head, “You promised this wouldn’t happen again.”
Well, Pavitr groans in his mind as he lifts his head up. It’s not my fault, this time. It’s–
Rising his head above the couch, his eyes lock with dark, chocolate brown ones, and his eyes fly wide open.
–His.
He stares in shock at the teen standing a few feet away from him, who mirrors his expression.
Please, anybody but–
”...Hobie?”
His voice is raw and unused, cracks from the sheer amount of emotion in one word, but he doesn't care.
Hobie's wearing his usual spiderman outfit, bracelets, spikes and everything. His eyes are wide in shock, mouth held slightly agape. He’s holding something clutched tightly in his left hand, but Pavitr can’t make it out in the dark. His guitar is swung over his shoulder
Pavitr is thrown into a raging river of emotion at the sight of him, but he can’t tear his eyes away.
He wants to hop over the couch and throw his arms around him, relieved to see his best friend, but he also wants to curl back up into the couch and cry, to never have to face him again.
He wants to scream at him until his voice gives out.
”Hey, Pav.“ Oh, Hobie's voice sounds angelic, Pavitr hasn't heard him speak in so long –
For just a moment, they stare into each other's eyes silently, Pavitr trying to make sense of everything –
How did he find me?
I thought– I thought they didn't even know this place existed--
Gayatri does.
Oh, Hobie talked to Gayatri.
She.. probably told him.. about everything.
... everything.
..Okay. Okay. Stop, slow down, think, don’t jump to conclusions, you don’t know that. He– he could just be coming to… bring you back! You’ve been gone for days, of course he’d be worried – fuck, you worried him, you’re a terrible friend, he doesn’t know that you do this, he probably thought you were dead! …no, actually, hobie’s too smart for that, he’s so smart, he’d know better – Stop, breathe, slow down, think before you act —
Eventually, Pavitr stumbles off of the couch, eyes wide as he stares at Hobie. His mind is whirling, about a thousand thoughts all moving around his head at once, leaving him switching tracks every third second to catch a new train before the previous one crashes violently.
He’s here, that has to mean something, right? Maybe I was wrong, maybe he does love m–
Chup raho, chup raho, chup raho, yah sochana band karo ki vah vaastav mein tumhen pasand karata hai–
He’s here. In– my special place, my– mine. What is he doing here? Why does he care? He shouldn't, not after what I did–
I ruined everything, what is he doing here?–
Hobie steps forwards, shattering the silence and pulling Pavitr from his thoughts, “Mate, you scared the shite outta me! I’m so glad you’re oka–”
Pavitr’s feelings are a little scattered, right now. He’s fumbling for the straws of emotions that are slipping out of his grasp quickly, trying desperately to hold onto one for longer than a moment. Eventually he manages to land on a strong, overwhelming sense of–
“Get out.”
—Anger.
Hobie's gaze softens, and Pavitr instantly feels bad, but he’s already started down his path, and the conflict feels good in Pavitr's mind.
“Pav,” Hobie said, taking a step forward as his eyes flicker to the ground, looking incredibly concerned. “Wait–”
“I said,” Pavitr said, balling his fists up at his sides and pouring all his anger into a single glare. “Get. Out.”
Hobie winced, eyes full of hurt as he searched Pavitr’s face for – something. Pavitr took the chance to walk forwards and harshly grab his bag, stuffing his trash and clothes into it while he tried to ignore Hobie stepping closer.
“Love,” The punk said, and Pavitr flinched at the nickname, “Please, just let me–”
“Let you do what?” Pavitr snapped, glaring at Hobie as his face twisted in rage. “I think you've done quite enough already.”
“I– listen, I know I messed up–” He started slowly, “I can explain–”
”Explain?” Pavitr asked, looking up with eyes full of fire that challenged Hobie's gaze. “I think I can explain it pretty fucking well, Madarchod.” He hissed, shoving his bag roughly back into the couch and straightening up to lock eyes with Hobie again.
“First,” Pavitr said, stomping around the sofa to face the other boy, holding out his hand in a fist and shooting out his pointer finger. “You decide it would just be hilarious if you kiss me, right after I admit I'm— I'm in love with you,” He said, making Hobie's eyes widen slightly – not in shock, surely. He must just be surprised Pavitr had the guts to say it out loud. “Second, you don't – you don't even like me back, so you're just doing it to – I don't know, to confuse me?“ He demanded, stepping closer – dangerously closer – to Hobie. “That's not cool, dude.”
Hobie opens his mouth, eyebrows furrowed in offense. ”What – no!” He said, hands raising up to his chest. “I– love, I wouldn't do that to y–”
“Don't– don't call me that.” Pavitr stuttered, slamming his eyes closed as he balled his hands up at his sides. “You clearly don't–”
“Don't what?” Hobie demanded, cutting Pavitr off for once, a hurt look on his face. “ Love you?”
Pavitr bit his tongue, willing himself not to take the step back his brain begged him for as Hobie got closer. “Yeah, bevakoof. Obviously!” He growled. ”'I Knew it was me'? You're – just gonna kiss me, lead me on, make me think you like me back and then say that?” He hissed, watching Hobie flinch, anger leaving his features and being replaced by guilt.
Pavitr didn't like that, no, that wasn't– that wasn't supposed to hurt Hobie as much as it looked like it did.
“Well at least I'm not the one who's willin' to die just 'cause he doesn't wanna tell somebody how he feels!” Hobie quipped, shoving his hands out in anger. “At least I have the guts to track you out here and– at least I care!”
Hobie took a step forwards, looming over Pavitr dangerously, his boot slamming onto the ground in front of him loudly and making the shorter boy take a step back in shock.
Hobie looked down, suddenly, and Pavitr saw him jolt before quickly stepping back again. He followed Hobie’s gaze to the floor and–
Okay, Pavitr hadn't noticed the sheer piles of bloodied, wilting flowers on the floor. What the heck? He didn’t remember coughing that much up. It was only once, wasn’t it? When he first got here?
And when I woke up this morning, and last morning too, actually. And also before lunch–
…Okay. Maybe it was beginning to be an issue. But right now he wasn’t focused on the flowers, he was focused on the stomped-on plushie that Hobie was staring at in horror.
In their fight, neither of them had noticed the small tiger that lay on the floor, not until Hobie had stepped on it and bent one of the golden cuffs on its leg.
Pavitr ducked down and carefully picked it up, looking over it with careful eyes swiftly before assessing that the only damage was the bent cuff. A singular petal was stuck to its paw, and Pavitr plucked it off and let it fall to the ground.
“I don’t care enough?” Pavitr echoed, slowly looking back up at Hobie. “You’re – I can’t— I can’t believe you.” He hissed, clutching the tiger tightly in his arms. “I don’t care enough – I care about people plenty!”
“You don’t care about yourself .” Hobie clarified, making Pavitr frown in confusion. “You’re sick! And – I keep tryin’ to help, and you keep pushin’ me away!”
Pavitr bit down the words on his tongue, the urge to keep pushing the problem away overwhelming, and looked up at Hobie with gritted teeth. “I’m. Fine .” He insisted, putting emphasis on each word as he tried to step away.
“You’re not. You’re clearly fuckin’ not!” Hobie said, following him closely. “I can hear it in your voice. You sound fuckin’ terr–”
“I . Sound . FINE .” Pavitr cut him out loudly, but even he knew his voice sounded all kinds of wrong. He tried to clear his throat, but that proved to be a bad idea, as something was chucked into the wrong pipe and Pavitr found himself hacking into his elbow. He shot a glare at Hobie as he tried to step closer.
“Pav, please, y'can't keep doing this.” Hobie continued, his gaze softening as he stepped closer, making the shorter boy flinch but not move away. “'s okay to need space, it's okay to be alone for awhile,” He said, staring into Pavitr's eyes. “But it's not okay to just – Ignore things like this.” Hobie frowned sadly. “It’s not healthy. You’ll always have people you can go to when you need ‘em, Like – Like me.”
Pavitr faltered, for just a moment, eyes widening as his heartbeat sped up rapidly. Hobie was getting closer, so much closer, even if he didn’t realize it.
“How– how the hell do you know?” Pavitr seethed, forcing himself to pull away and glare into Hobie’s eyes. “Aap jhooth bolate hain – You – How,” He asked, “How do I know you’re not lying?” He asked, clutching the tiger to his chest. “Why do you care?”
Hobie paused for a moment, his eyes shining bright with determination as his gaze softened to a cloud.
“Because – Pav,” Hobie said softly, too softly, taking in a deep breath and dunking Pavitr's hot anger in a bucket of ice water with three words, “I love you.”
Pavitr’s eyes widened in shock, mouth stuttering open as he made a tiny noise of surprise.
That was.. Not the answer he was expecting.
That seed of hope returns, growing and growing and growing, pulling apart the jaws of despair that clamp around his heart and allowing him to breathe .
But they won't give up so easily, and Pavitr's face contorted in pain, feeling his heart ache violently, “You're seriously still trying to–”
“No, Pav, listen to me.”
Pavitr yelps as Hobie wraps his arms around his chest suddenly, pushing Pavitr against him and oh, warmth spreads in Pavitr's skin everywhere the punk touches. The tiger is pressed between them, gold cuffs digging into Pavitr’s chest, but he doesn’t care. The sudden embrace is making him freeze in place as he can't help but melt into Hobie, his anger buzzing underneath his skin.
“I love you.“ He repeated, resting his chin on Pavitr's head, squeezing him slightly to emphasize his point. “And I'm a fuckin' idiot for not sayin' it earlier,” Hobie said, sighing softly, “And for not stoppin' you back then,” And he looked down, tilting Pavitr's head and meeting his eyes. “But I am not missin' my chance right now.”
When Hobie suddenly shifted in his blankets on Pavitr's floor nearly ten minutes later, he must have thought the boy was asleep when he spoke.
"..You mean a lot to me too, sunshine."
Typing in the number to go back to HQ, tossing the green goblin variant through the portal, “Can’t be, I don’t take missions ‘less they’re with you.”
Taking Miguel’s attention away from Pavitr, conforming to rules just to make him less uncomfortable, "Oi, I was just messin’.” Hobie said, eyes flickering down to Pavitr before returning to Miguel. “Gimme the startin' questions again, yeah?"
“You're my favorite star, y'know that?" Hobie said, smiling warmly.
“..I’m not a star, dude.” Pavitr laughed awkwardly.
“You are to me.” He replied, as if he was greeting someone, or commenting on the weather, and not saying something that made the shorter boy’s heart rate spike into surely unhealthy speeds.
Hobie stumbling over himself to stop Pavitr from hearing an unnamed song, his favorite, for ‘Him’ . “Oi, uh, that's 'nough'a that, yeah–?”
“I don't have any water, sorry.” Hobie said, and even though he was never expected to help, he did anyway, never needing a reason to care for Pavitr. Never asking for anything in return.
…They say, realizing you're in love with somebody is simple.
That, it's just a flip of a switch, a simple pop of a bubble, and that afterwards, everything makes sense.
It didn't really make sense when Pavitr figured it out at first, no. It made him confused, scared, shook – everything seemed to make less sense afterwards.
But, realizing that somebody else was in love with you ..
That was something that made a few puzzle pieces click into place.
Oh. oh, wait, hold on, stop, Pavitr's heart can't take this. words aren't working, he knows what he wants to say, but they don't fit together right, they keep stopping in place and fumbling over each other in his mind, until eventually they could form a coherent thought:
Hobie was in love with him.
His best friend. Spider-Punk. Anarchist Hobie brown. In love with him . Pavitr Prabhakar, who strived for perfection. Who followed rules, who never even considered breaking them in even the slightest way until the punk slid into his life.
His anger washed out of him, and he let out a small, choked sob as he finally, finally reached out and wrapped his arms around Hobie too, pulling him in tightly, and taking in everything that made him– him.
His lanky arms and hands around Pavitr's chest, still holding him tightly, as if the shorter boy would disappear if he let go. His forehead was gently resting in Pavitr's hair, and the slight shake in his body as he spoke.
“I love you, so, so much.” Hobie said, and Pavitr finally realized how his voice was shaking, how he took staggering breaths as tears rolled down the punk's face. “And I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner.”
Pavitr opens and closes his mouth because– this feels like a dream, this doesn't feel real, he feels like he passed out on that stupid couch and was experiencing some out-of-body thing, that he would wake up any moment now and be reminded of his misery.
He waits a moment, inhaling softly and slowly realizing how much easier it was to breathe.
..Even if it was a dream, every second that passed was another one spent in Hobie’s arms, and Pavitr wasn't complaining.
”You–” Pavitr choked out, trying to speak around the tears in his eyes and spit building in his mouth. ”..what?” he asked, feeling so small, pulling away and searching Hobie's face for any signs of deception, anything that might tell him he was lying.
Just like always, he found nothing but honesty.
“I love you,” Hobie repeated. “I have for.. hah, kinda a lot fuckin' time. An' I was so bloody happy when– when we kissed,” He breathed, leaning back down and blinking away tears, “I wasn't thinkin' about what I was sayin'.” He admitted softly, pressing a small kiss onto the top of Pavitr's head.
Pavitr leaned forwards and bumped his head into Hobie’s chest, exhaling softly. “You–” He groaned in between his gasps of air as tears spilled down his face and his grip on Hobie’s vest tightened, making small thumps with his fists. “I thought– I thought–”
“I know, love.” Hobie said softly, swallowing before continuing. “I’m stupid, an’ ‘m sorry.”
“What?” Pavitr asked, blinking at Hobie in surprise. “No you’re not,” Pavitr laughed, “I’m the one who ran off for days and then– shouted at you,” Pavitr said, and then frowned, feeling regret stir deep in his chest. “Shit, I’m so sorry, mera pyaar, I just,” He stuttered, blinking away tears. “I hate worrying you, dude. I don’t– I don’t like using you like that.”
“Using me?” Hobie asked in surprise, leaning away and tilting his head down to meet Pavitr’s eyes. “Pav, ‘s not using me to need help, who the fuck told you that?”
He paused, and then shrugged. “I’m– not really sure, I just kinda… assumed?”
Hobie laughed, the bellow shaking Pavitr slightly, and the shorter boy couldn’t help but chuckle along as well.
“We’re both idiots then, huh?” Hobie said finally, tilting his head fondly down at Pavitr.
Pavitr gasped dramatically and shoved him playfully. “Hey, I’m still mad at you for making me think you didn’t like me back, you know!” He reminded him, crossing his arms and looking up at the punk with a fond smile.
“Oh, do I need to apologize for that too, treacle?” Hobie asked, raising an eyebrow at Pavitr with a grin.
“Preferably.”
Hobie rolled his eyes, sighed, and leaned down gracefully, cupping Pavitr’s jaw in his hands softly. Pavitr’s eyes widened in shock as Hobie leaned down and pressed a long kiss to his forehead, smiling as the shorter boy’s face heated up in a dark blush.
Hobie pulled away swiftly and Pavitr was left staring at him, mouth hanging open slightly.
His brain short circuited, leaving him staring up at the punk, who had a mild expression of adoration on his face.
“Ace enough of an apology f’you, darling?” Hobie asked, smiling as Pavitr blinked out of his daze and gawked at the punk with wide eyes. “Oh, and that was meant to be romantic, jus’ so you know –”
Pavitr laughed, pulled away, placed his tiger on the top of the couch, and tackled Hobie back into a tight hug all in one swift motion.
“Yeah,” He said finally, smiling into the punk’s chest. “It’ll do, I guess.”
Hobie raised an eyebrow at him. “What, you want more?”
Pavitr hesitated, and then nodded into his chest with a shy hum of affirmation.
“Needy devil,” Hobie chuckled, but pulled the shorter boy away from his chest and leaned down again, smiling as he pressed kissed all over Pavitr’s face, wrapping his arms around the shorter boys chest to haul him up and place him on the headrest of the couch for better access.
He pressed gentle kisses into Pavitr’s forehead, trailed them down his nose and closed eyelids, practically worshiping the short boy’s face as he kissed him everywhere but on the mouth.
As endearing as it was, and as flustered Pavitr was getting, he still longed to correct his mistake he’d made so many days ago back on that rooftop, and Hobie delicately avoiding kissing him directly was starting to pool frustration in his gut.
So, he reached up and stopped Hobie’s assault momentarily, savoring the look of mild confusion on the punks face before leaning in himself and tilting softly to press their lips together in a gentle kiss, closing his eyes shut delicately as Hobie gasped, but quickly smiled into it, pressing them as close together as he could manage.
Kissing him was like being lost in a pool of honey and warmth. He tasted like cinnamon, like that terrible hot chocolate that they had, the kind that you put in water instead of milk, but Pavitr didn’t care. To him, Hobie tasted like warmth, like stars and a galaxy, like the food he made for him back on the day he took Pavitr to the fair, like the unforgettable feeling of caring for somebody. And he was loving every moment of it.
Eventually, Hobie pulled away, breathing heavily as they stared into each other's eyes.
“..Fuck, darlin’,” Hobie panted, licking his lips and smiling softly. “I love you so much.”
Pavitr felt a deep rush of affection, of care, and of absolute love fill his heart as he stared back into the punk’s eyes. “I love you too.” Pavitr beamed, gently cupping the back of Hobie’s neck. “Idiot.”
“Least I’m idiot number one, ‘n not idiot number two.” He said proudly.
Pavitr raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t believe in labels? And, why am I number two?”
“Maybe juuust for this, and,” Hobie grinned like a cat, booping Pavitr’s nose playfully. “It’s ranked by height ~”
Pavitr gasped loudly, pressing a hand into his own chest and looking offended. “How dare you! I’ll have you know I’m–”
“– Very average for a teen in Mumbattan, right?” Hobie finished for him, smiling as Pavitr frowned.
Pavitr pursed his lips. “That just goes to show how much you tease me about my height!” He protested, crossing his arms and turning his head away from Hobie in a fake pout.
Hobie rolled his eyes, supporting Pavitr gently as he sat on the edge of the couch.
“‘M sorry for sayin’ those things I said,'' Hobie eventually broke, looking down and scrunching his face up slightly. “You do care, y’care so much, I know you do, ‘S just, I was so scared of losin’ you, love.” Hobie said, sighing, and Pavitr felt a stab of guilt in his chest at the look on his face. “I didn’t want to wake up one day ‘n find out you weren’t there anymore.”
Pavitr reached out and tilted Hobie’s face up, pressing a gentle kiss to his nose and smiling at his look of surprise.
“I’m sorry, too.” Pavitr said, smiling at him comfortingly. “I never should’ve assumed you were trying to hurt me, I was just upset and… I don’t know, I was looking for any excuse to be mad at you.” He frowned slightly. “I promise I’ll try and think before I act next time.”
Hobie smiled warmly. “‘N I promise I won’t say stupid shite that makes you think like that anymore, yeah?”
Pavitr laughed, tilting his head back as he gave Hobie a soft look. “All in agreement not to be stupid like this again?”
“Aye.” Hobie nodded, leaning forwards again and knocking their foreheads together.
“Me too,” Pavitr smiled. And took in a deep breath of fresh air.
He hasn’t been able to breathe this freely in several, several days.
It felt like a massive boulder had been lifted off of his shoulders and chucked at all of his problems, rolling farther and farther away and leaving him with nothing but an abundance of happiness.
Everything was perfect.
“..You ready to go back home?” Hobie asked eventually, looking up into Pavitr’s eyes gently. “We can stay here for a while if not, but Miles ‘n Gwendy ‘ve been real concerned ‘bout you.”
Pavitr inhaled softly again, and smiled. “Yeah, I’m ready. Help me grab my stuff?”
“Of course, love.” Hobie said without hesitation.
Pavitr let out a tiny sigh of content, not pulling away from Hobie’s warmth just yet.
“..Sunshine?”
“Yeah?” Pavitr hummed.
“Y’know you gotta let me go to get y’stuff, right?” Hobie chuckled, amused.
“Mmm,” Pavitr made a small noise, slinging his arms around Hobie’s neck and pulling him in closer. “One more minute, naa?”
Hobie sighed, but he didn’t make any attempt to move away, and Pavitr smiled into his neck.
All was well.
————
“You ready?”
Hobie stood next to Pavitr in the hallway to Miguel’s office, squeezing his hand slightly as they stood together.
Apparently, skipping out in the middle of a mandatory meeting and ignoring all of their summons to HQ made Miguel more than a little upset. Pavitr only noticed the few messages he had gotten from their boss once he and Hobie had gotten all of his stuff and were swinging through Mumbattan, the messages popping up on his watch and making him freak out, nearly falling mid-swing.
Hobie was quick to catch and reassure him that Miguel wasn’t as mad as he seemed to be, and even promised to go with Pavitr and help comfort him, taking his new role as the shorter boy’s boyfriend very seriously.
They had talked about labels and, as much as Hobie seemed to dislike them, he apparently had a soft spot for Pavitr, and didn’t need any convincing to agree that they were partners. He said that he was more than excited to be able to call Pavitr his boyfriend, and the shorter boy promptly swept him up in a big hug and kissed him senseless.
Another benefit, the flowers in his lungs died out within the hour of Hobie properly reciprocating Pavitr’s feelings, only a few wilting roses remained, a beautiful red in color. He could finally breathe, and he felt a giant weight lift off of his chest at the knowledge that it was finally over.
Miguel had demanded they report to HQ immediately and explain Pavitr’s strange behavior, but Pavitr couldn’t help it, and quickly took a detour to Gayatri with the news, squealing with excitement and shaking his hands out wildly in happiness as he hugged her. His endless words of praise and thanks were merely batted away with an “Oh, It was bound to happen eventually, don’t thank me.”
Hobie didn’t have much to say to her, just a short nod of thanks, one which she returned, and Pavitr and Hobie were off to go meet with Miguel at HQ.
“Yeah,” Pavitr answered Hobie’s question, nodding as seriously as he could as he looked up at Hobie with a smile. “I’m ready.”
Hobie nodded, bringing Pavitr’s hand up to his mouth and pressing a short kiss into his knuckles. “Hey, love, if you get uncomfortable or anything, just give me a sign, yeah?” He said, “I’m always there for you.”
Pavitr laughed, trying to hide the blush on his face as he turned away. “Yeah, you’ve only said it about a million times.”
“Oi,” Hobie shifted and looked down at him, smiling as he nudged his partner. “And I’ll keep sayin’ it ‘til you get it through your thick skull, yeah?” He smiled warmly, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “For the rest of your life, if I have to be, I’ll be there. Yeah?”
Pavitr looked up into Hobie’s eyes, and his heart got stuck in his throat, as it finally sort of sunk in that this was his partner.
His boyfriend, Hobie.
Who would always care for him.
Who would stay with him, undeniably, until his very last days.
Hobie, who stuck with him through thick and thin.
Hobie, who he could always rely on.
Hobie, who tasted of moonlight and honey, who felt like curling into his favorite warm blanket after a cold, rainy day. Hobie, who he was so, breathtakingly in love with.
Hobie, who would forever be his.
Hobie, who he would forever belong to.
God, how did he ever get so lucky?
His heart swelled with love, and he laughed airily, a tear pricking his eye as he leaned over and hugged him, leaving one arm to hang as he didn’t dare let go of Hobie’s hand. Pavitr clung onto him, smiling widely into the punk’s shirt and taking in his smell.
“Y’alright, mate?” Hobie asked, and Pavitr took a moment to respond, breathing in the moment best he could.
“Yes, yes. A thousand times yes.” He said, and looked up at him, meeting the punk’s eyes and resting his chin on Hobie’s chest as he smiled. “Mujhe tumase pyaar hai, jaan.”
“Oh ho ho,” Hobie grinned proudly. “I can actually translate that, Sunshine.” And he leaned down, capturing Pavitr’s lips in a deep kiss, smiling as Pavitr giggled into it and kissed back, the precious moment being captured and tucked away in both of their hearts respectively.
Back when Pavitr was 15, his life was simple.
But, it was also plain.
When he met Hobie, his life became rich with anything he could ask for. With mystery and mischief, with excitement, and with love.
And he wouldn’t trade that for the world.