Chapter Text
The difference between the NICU and the normal nursery was a lot bigger than Tony thought it would be. For one, the NICU was a lot more private, which he of course preferred much more. Tony had to stop himself from grimincing every time a curious gaze swept his way. He was sent down before Peter to meet up with Dr.Kaleb to discuss the final plan for Peter but the good doc was running late, leaving Tony to be the public spectacle for the day.
Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he saw a group of nurses in the corner whisper amongst themselves while subtly-not-so-subtly glancing at him. Now, usually he wouldn't mind throwing a wink and a smirk at the group but the panic growing steadily within at the realization that he would be taking Peter home in 48 hours was overwhelming him.
Did Pepper finalize the condo? Did he order the right crib? Should he get an extra pack of the Similac Neosure? Would he have time to install J.A.R.V.I.S before he bought Peter out of the hospital (because he knew he could NOT handle taking care of the infant without his A.I).Tony felt the slight tremors start up in his hands again as he stuffed them in his pockets. He had been getting them intermittently for two days now and they only became more frequent as the days went by.
The tremors didn't surprise Tony all that much. After all, its been almost three days since his last drink. He couldnt allow himself to do it in the hospital no matter how tempting it was, so in the evenings he’d go out to the nearest bar and get a glass. Usually, just a glass (okay, maybe two on especially stressful days) was enough to keep the tremors at bay. But for the last few days one glass (or two) wasnt enough. Again, this wasnt a surprise. His body was used to being showered with expensive, strong liquor daily. It wasnt going to accept the cheap, watered down stuff he had been trying to appease it with for the last few weeks.
But he had been putting it off for days because Peter was more important. He would MAKE Peter the priority. He had too. Because the day he didn't, Tony would walk the same beaten path Howard took when it came to parenting.
The buzz of the heavy doors finally opened to reveal nurse Ashley pushing a closed bassinet. Inside, a bleary blinking, just awakened Peter was packed snuggly in. His lack of tubes and IVs was such a surprising sight that Tony almost gasped like a 19th century maiden. Was this really the first time Tony had seen Peter looking so… so free? So less like a sick patient and more like the other babies in the nursery Tony had glanced at with a displaced sense of envy just moments ago?
“Are you ready Mr.Stark?”, nurse Ashley asked, an expectant look on her face, Pushing his clenched fist into his pocket, he gave the woman a strained smile but looking down at Peter eased it into a real one. “Yea”, he said, digging his nails into the trembling flesh of his palm, “Im ready”.
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”I gotta admit Pete, this is a good look for you. Probably the best look on you if I do say so myself. I mean I'm not much of an expert on looking good, what with being the winner of the Hottest Bachelor of the Year for the fifth year in a row and all.” he exclaimed, talking over the (open!) bassinet with his (tube and IV free!) infant inside. Peter responded with wide eyes and an eloquent “Muh”. Tony felt his heart give an odd flutter.
It had been so rare for anything but whimpers and cries to come out of the baby, with tubes in his mouth and nose, or oxygen masks covering half his face. Now, ever since Peter had discovered that no, in fact he no longer had anything to restrain him, all sorts of new sounds were coming out. And Tony wanted to hear each and every one.
However, he could only spend a few hours in the nursery before he was rushed out. Honestly, Tony could have argued for more time but he had a lot of work to do before bringing Peter out of the hospital. He had decided to buy a condo in New York to raise Peter in for some time. Why? For a myriad of reasons.
One, he didn't think he was ready to experience the h*ll that was taking a baby on board a flight. Two, he wanted to stall the inevitability of Obie knowing about Peter and Tony's decision to keep and raise him. Three, he was currently “incognito” with the press and he wanted to keep it that way. No one would expect him to be in New York and everyone that did know would get their pants sued off if they revealed it to anyone else. So living in New York it was, at least for as long as he could get away with it (which with how Obie was starting to get suspicious, wont be too long anyways).
Pepper had been in charge of stocking and furnishing the condo with the basics and he was in charge of Peter's things. From the pictures Pepper had sent him sporadically throughout the week, things were coming together quite nicely (of course they were, Pepper was in charge). It was only the nursery that needed attention, unopened packages and blank walls waiting for Tony. He had explicitly told Pepper that he would be doing everything involving the room and Pepper had only nodded, the worry in her eyes ignored.
As Tony swiped the card into his new condo, he paused at the ‘beep’ indicating the door unlocking. He stood there, a hand hovering over the door handle, frozen in place. Should this be more ceremonial? Should he do something to make this more… special? After all, this would be the first time he would be seeing the home he would bring Peter to. Ever since he had met Peter, it seemed like everything new deserved a celebration. So, even though he felt silly, he softly hummed a tune that sounded triumphant (he was distantly aware and ashamed that it might have been ‘Pomp and Circumstance’) and slowly swung the door open into his new condo.
Of course, when he opened it, he was nothing but satisfied. Pepper knew his taste well and it showed. In fact, if he didn't look too closely, the living room was almost a perfect replica of the one all the way in Miami. But it only took a few seconds for Tony to spot the differences that became more obvious the more he looked. The biggest difference for one was the lack of a bar, which was completely fair considering the whole point of Tony getting this new condo. But the absence made his mood dip and caused him to stuff his hands deep in his pockets. They still had a tremor to them.
He quickly made his way over to stand in front of the room across from what would be his bedroom, the door closed firmly shut. Tony let out the breath he was holding and stared at the only indication of how important this room would be, a hanging sign on the door of a teddy bear sleeping on clouds. This time, he picked a way better song to hum (the intro of Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ of course) and stepped into Peter's nursery. The cardboard boxes that were stacked against the walls were a welcome sight. That meant Tony would spend the day assembling and building. Finally, something he knew he would be an expert at.
He let the hours fly by as he moved on from one piece of furniture to another. It was only till he attempted to reach for another box and it came out empty that he realized he was done. Well… everything was done being assembled but stacked to one side of the room, so it didn't look like much of a nursery yet. So after some rearranging, more humming, some contemplating, a quick snack break (yum, blueberries), and even some more rearranging, the nursery looked decent enough. Maybe not to enter the front page of one of those baby magazines but probably enough to satisfy Pepper (who may or may not have even more high standards than those magazines anyways).
The baby blues, navy, and whites of the room completely clashed with the rest of the condo but Tony didn't care at all. In fact, the more he stood in the middle of the room, looking around at each embellishment he had personally chosen and assembled, the more he liked the room. And he wouldn't admit it to anyone but the light-up sleepy faced cloud humidifier in the corner was adorable - ugh why was he turning into a softie? His dear old dad would have used the word “milksop” along with a sneer instead.
The feeling of satisfaction from a job well done faded however when Tony took in the white crib pushed against the side of the room, a slow rotating mobile of brown rabbits and stars hanging above it. In just a few hours Peter would be in this room. In just a few measly hours, Peter will have just Tony to look after him… to raise him. And suddenly, the room seemed less cute than when he first entered. He felt his stomach churn uncomfortably and decided he had spent enough time here and it was best for him to leave.
He only hoped it would get better, not worse, when the room officially became Peters tomorrow.
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“How may I assist you sir?”. With a press of a button, the calming voice settled into the room, as if it was always there and Tony felt his shoulders ease just a little. “J.A.R.V.I.S, why does it feel like I haven't heard you in years?” he whined, tipping back and sliding down into his seat. “I assure you sir, it has only been fifty days. '', his A.I stateed with as much judgment in his voice as he could, as if wondering why his creator was being more dramatic than usual. “I'll have you know J that it has been the longest fifty days of my life!” Tony exclaimed. “Was it that terrible for you sir?” J.A.R.V.I.S asked, expecting a grand retelling from his creator's (often exaggerated) point of view. But instead, the A.I was met with silence.
Yes, there were a lot of moments that were terrible but… Tony couldnt say it was all that bad. “I dont know J…” he said truthfully, drifting into a silence that felt too heavy.
“And that's that!” he cut off with a resounding clap of his hands after a moment passed, hopping off his seat and ending any potential attempts of his A.I having a “heart-to-CPU” with him. “Alright J.A.R.V.I.S, playtime is over! We have lots of work to do before the big day and that includes some new updates to your programming. Capiche?” Tony said and smiled at the “Capisco sir” that was replied in return.
Ah, it was good knowing that at least J.A.R.V.I.S always had his back.
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“Mr. Stark, Peter is just as he was 10 minutes ago, absolutely fine.” Nurse Veronica assured Tony for the third time within the last hour. Tony was obviously doing a bad job of hiding the creeping anxiety that racked up with every minute that ticked by, closer and closer till it would time (“D-day”, “showtime”, “moment of the truth” - whatever it would be called, it all boiled down to the same thing). In just - Tony glanced down at his wrist, 4 hours, 24 minutes, and 10 seconds, Peter would be discharged from the hospital and put into Tonys supposedly responsible hands. The State of New York was truly f*cked if his hands are what they considered responsible.
“And are you sure that -” he started but what cut off by a, “Hes just having some hiccups Mr. Stark, I swear to you as a professional, theyre just hiccups.”, she stressed, not even bothering to hide her exasperation. “Well… it could easily have been something else” he snidely remarked back. Refocusing back onto the bassinet, a small smile slipped past his mounting nerves as Tony watched the confused expression on Peters face as his entire body startled once more. How fascinating that a series of random hiccups was all that was needed to surprise the 2 month old.
The click-clack of heels jolted him back into reality as Pepper walked towards him, a file folder in hand. “Everything is set up and ready to go Mr.Stark” she said. Tony clenched his jaw as his anxiety built up so fast, he felt nausea. He glanced at her face that revealed nothing about how Pepper was feeling but he knew her well enough to read the doubt and disapproval in her eyes.
He knew she didn't think he could do this. She had made it clear to him after she tried several times to talk him out of this, even bringing several potential families that would be glad to have Peter to his attention. Happy didn't think he could do this either, Tony could tell from his frown (yes a different frown than his usual) and the way he would drift off saying “I dont know about this boss…”. And even though Rhodey was supportive, Tony caught the things left unsaid with the worried looks he would throw when he thought Tony wasnt looking. And Tony… Tony didn't blame them. Not one bit. Because out of everyone, he was the one that was the most unsure. He just hoped (yup, there was that word again… hope) that this didn't all blow up in their faces. After all, Peter was the one with the most to lose.
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The car seat test was one of the most terrifying moments of Tonys life. It seemed so simple and yet it would be the one thing that determines so many things… whether Peters lungs have healed enough from the pneumonia, if Peter still needed treatment in the hospital, and if Tony would be bringing Peter home today. Peter slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of the room of adults staring at him.
The baby looked so tiny strapped in and bundled up, despite Tony trying his best to buy the smallest, yet sturdiest car seat he could find. Tony was still annoyed by how long it took just to put Peter into the damn seat as well! It took him a good 12 minutes before his pride caved and he had to call one of the nurses in to help him. And he definitely felt better about himself when the nurse took some time with strapping Peter in firmly since the newborn was so small. He had flinched when she had tightened the straps, worried if it was hurting Peter and dreading when he would have to do this by himself.
They waited and waited and waited for something. Some sign that Peter wasnt able to tolerate sitting in the car seat any longer. But the worst part about it wasnt the hour and a half wait just watching a sleeping baby. No, the worst part were the moments Tony wondered if it would be so bad if Peter would just fail the test all together.
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“Alright Mr. Stark, Peter is ready to go. And I just wanted to say once again that it was an honor to -” with a wave of his hand Tony interrupted the man, “Oh yeah, it was a real honor” he replied with as much sincerity as he felt (none). His stomach was already heavy enough but if he continued to let this man talk, Tony knew he would have a headache to boot. He briefly glanced at Pepper and she gave him a nod. Yeah… that man needed to sign not one but two NDAs.
Glancing down at the car seat, the hood of it pulled down almost all the way, just enough for Tony to take a quick peek at the sleeping baby. His paranoid self wanted to make sure that if anyone recognized him, he would at least be able to hide Peter from view. The last thing he needed was the rest of the world finding out about him. And though Tony Stark walking out of a hospital with a baby seat was suspicious enough, with his and Pepper's brain put together, they would be able to make up a lie to get out of the situation. Rhodey's nephew being sick and Tony being the dutiful best friend was his back up plan B. It was true enough anyways - if Peter was Tonys son and Rhoedy was basically his brother, then Peter was Rhodeys nephew. So in the end, was it even an actual lie?
Being greeted by the frigid December air in New York made Tony hiss with surprise. It was only his luck that it wasnt snowing on top of everything else. He looked quickly down at Peter again, swathed in a red blanket so thick that only his eyes and nose were peeking out. And thankfully, the 2 month old was knocked out cold. Small mercies. A sleek black Rolls Royce pulled in front of him and Happy lumbered out to take his bag. He gave a sideway glance at the car seat in Tonys hand which Tony ignored. His only mission right now was to get this d*mn seat strapped in. After an embarrassing 7 minutes of pulling things through and over, all with Happy and Peppers not so discreet judgemental looks (he was a hair away from yelling at both of them to stick pins in their eyes and mind their f*cking business but that would wake Peter which was a big no), they were finally ready to go.
He was probably the only person in the universe that didn't want to leave a hospital. He cant believe this is what his life has become, preferring to stay at the place with sh*tty apple sauce over his thousand dollar aged meat and cheese collection. Tony let out a long sigh as he watched the hospital get farther from view. Eventually the sound of the engine's quiet hum settled his nerves just the slightest.
Then, as they entered afternoon traffic, disaster in the form of an obnoxious taxi driver honking, struck. They all flinched when they heard a whine coming from the bundle of a previously peacefully sleeping Peter. Inching slowly over to the opening of the hood, Tony peeked inside and felt something close to dread sweep through. Peter was wide awake and clearly not happy with that. The whines continued, and they held their breath as the whines began to get progressively louder and clearer.
And thats how they spent the next thirty minutes, stuck in bumper-to-bumper New York traffic with a wailing baby. With all the grace of a headless chicken, he tried (and failed miserably) to get Peter to calm down. By the time they reached the condo, Tony was as tense as a newly strung guitar string. Stepping out of the car with the car seat in his hand (after wrestling with it for about another 5 minutes) was when he truly understood the phrase “flight or fight ''. Because those were the two things Tony was ready to do: run away or punch something. And from the look of Pepper and Happys faces, they weren't far behind in this notion - Pepper being the runner and Happy being the puncher.
Tony would never again underestimate the power a baby’s cry - or more specifically his baby’s cry, had on him. It was one of the most distressing feelings hes ever had - his body and mind reacting to it instinctively. His heart was still pounding loud, sending vibrations through his chest. Mother Nature was such a sneaky b*tch.
The inability to do anything when Peter, whos face had becoming blotched with pink and wet with tears, sniffled up at him was awful. Tony knew he needed to get better at this whole parenting thing quickly because he did not want to go through this again. What kind of parent didn't even know how to comfort their own child for a whole thirty minutes?! The answer was apparently him.
Happy didn't even wait for his order before he rushed back into the car after placing the luggage in the condo. Tony flinched at the screech of the tires as the car raced away from them as fast as Happy could. Hmmm, so maybe Happy was actually the “flight” and Pepper was the “fight”. Taking a quick glance at Peppers tense shoulder and jaw, he knew he was correct. “Dont worry Potts, I can handle it from here”. He said, giving her his signature cocky smile with all the false bravado he could muster. The grimace she sent his way letting him know he was not at all believed.
After practically shooing his secretary away, Tony took rigid steps towards the condo, a tight grip on the handle of the car seat. Peter had thankfully quieted his screams to soft whimpers but even that wasnt enough to calm his racing heart. An older man in a crisp red uniform and black cap promptly held the door for them and led them to the elevators, not once glancing towards what Tony held in his hand. Whether Pepper had warned him before or if he was just that seasoned, Tony couldnt guess but appreciated either way.
Standing infront of the door to his- no their new home was a completely different feeling when compared to going in alone two days ago. Peter had just settled down from his intense crying session, dried tear tracks leaving streaks on his puffed up cheeks, looking as wrung out as Tony felt. How the f*ck has he had Peter for less than an hour and already feeling like hes ready to hibernate for the next 48 hours?! He was an insomniac!
His mind was too frazzled to come up with a good theme song so without much fanfare and plenty of nerves, the heavy door swung open and what greeted them was an empty house. His shoes felt like they were filled with lead as he managed to trudge inside, as if stepping into the cando would make his new reality even more real.
But this was REAL.
Peter was here. Real.
Tony is now the only one responsible for Peter. Real.
Peter will be entirely dependent on Tony. Real.
Tony will need to love and care for Peter. Real.
The things that Tony will do for Peter will affect Peter for the rest of his life. Real.
A shaky breath left Tony as he set the car seat down. Pushing aside the thick red blanket from Peter, he unlatched the straps and carefully lifted the newborn into his arms. He ignored the way his tremors werent just because this was the first time he truly held Peter without a helpful pair of hands at his side. “So… buddy. Looks like this is it huh?” he whispered, watching Peter eyes drift to the side. He didn't know who he was trying to fool with the grimace on his face that he was straining to masquerade as a smile since the 2 month old could only see blobs of color for now. Peter let out a preemptive whine and Tony couldn't hold back his flinch.
Tony has no idea what the f**k hes doing. REAL.
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Velerie Hayden was a woman of pride. She prided herself in her work above all else. Customer satisfaction was what she strived for… even though that meant something different when it came to her usual client populace. As a woman that has worked in the field for several years, Valerie knew what her customers would be expecting from her as a nanny.
The baby being looked after? Well sure. Fine.
The employer being looked after? Now that was the most important thing.
What people often mistaken was what rich clientele were looking for. They didn't want a super nanny that soothes their baby in the blink of an eye or distracts their baby for a few precious hours. Oh no. What the client wanted was someone to soothe them . To distract them. It may require sending the new mother off to a spa for the afternoon or sending the new father off to watch a horse race. Sometimes it needed a more… delicate touch, which required Valerie to send the new mother off and give the new father her special attention. Either way, it was what her clientele wanted and satisfy them she would. It was how she did her business for years and it was how she stayed and succeeded above all the rest.
After all, anyone could hire a nanny to look after a baby. The rich knew that. But there was only one nanny like Valerie Hayden. And the rich always looked for something more.
Valerie's eyes rove over the embossed golden letters of the thick card in her hand.
And she just knew that Tony Stark was definitely the type of man to be looking for something more.
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