Chapter Text
POV Ceylin
There was no going back.
She was sure Ilgaz already had a plan, definitely much cleverer than hers, but if she was being honest with herself, Ceylin was happy she managed to outrun him.
“Kiss me,” she blurted out, already feeling her muscles getting tense in anticipation.
If only they could remember this moment later with a laugh, Ceylin would have easily imitated Ilgaz’s utter shock at her proposal. And then they would’ve repeated their first kiss all over again, drowning in each other’s scent, dissolving in each other’s taste.
“Ilgaz, kiss me!”
She didn’t want to hear objections. God, she didn’t want anything anymore, only him. In a swift motion Ceylin caught Ilgaz by the collar of his coat and, rising on tiptoes, pressed her lips to his.
She knew her subconscious desired it. Every time Ceylin closed her eyes to sleep, there he was, kissing her, savoring her body, making her cry out in pleasure. In her dreams his skillful fingers drew sinful patterns over the most sensitive spots of her body. He worshiped her, made her forget everything she knew, drove her to insanity.
So many times she woke up in the middle of the night, panting, hardly distinguishing dreams and reality. Sometimes she begged herself to come back to sleep to feel that good again, sometimes she was happy to be fully awake not to feel the unbearable pain that was crashing her chest.
Her nightmares were the worst. In fact they were the same dream repeated over and over, never changing, never ending.
Ilgaz walking away from her, his gaze glassy and blank, his handsome face expressing nothing but disgust and hatred. She begged, cried, cursed, whimpered, but that vision of the prosecutor was unshakable.
But at least for a moment as their tongues danced against each other she could forget that this reality was nothing more than a temporary dream she was doomed to let go.
Completely out of breath, Ceylin broke the kiss. Opening her eyes was a torture. Not because she was embarrassed, — on the contrary, this kiss seemed to be the only right thing in her mess of a life. But opening eyes meant going back to the present, back to the reality where she was a liar and a potential criminal.
Unlovable. Difficult. Lonely.
Ilgaz was already looking down at her with those beautiful wistful eyes of his. Forbidden desire swam in the deep of his gaze, making her heart flutter and knees tremble.
If just his kiss tasted that sweet, Ceylin wanted to know more. She was never a devoted believer, but right at that moment she wished her prayers had at least one chance of coming true.
She knew the penance was soon and inevitable. And still she wouldn’t have changed a thing even knowing what was yet to come.
“He’s gone,” she exhaled, looking around in search of Serdar.
“What?”
“Do you know any other words, Ilgaz savcı?” Ceylin giggled more out of nerves. “That guy, Serdar, he’s gone.”
Unwillingly, Ilgaz broke their eye contact, scanning the area and making sure ofher words.
“Let’s go, there’s nowhere to hide.”
And grabbing her hand, the man just started walking forward with those enormous steps of his.
Ceylin could hardly keep up, holding on to Ilgaz for dear life, but that didn’t seem to bother him even for a second. As if kissing her was a natural act, and holding her hand — a normal flow of events that they repeated day after day.
It was difficult to read the prosecutor, but in those two minutes that they let go of themselves, something elusively changed between the two and especially in Ilgaz. And that…
Ceylin just couldn’t allow.
***
POV Ilgaz
Ilgaz just couldn’t allow these feelings to wash over him. Not now, not here.
Everything was wrong, out of place and time, but at the same time felt so right as if finally finding a lost piece of a puzzle of his life. A thing Ilgaz didn’t know was missing but upon finding wasn’t able to let go of anymore.
They fit perfectly together: her fiery temper and his calm presence, her quick witted mind and his logical thinking, her chaotic behaviors and his organized manners. Never in his life Ilgaz would have willingly chosen a woman like Ceylin, but only now he understood that this kind of a woman was the one for him.
Brave, outspoken, challenging, difficult. Someone to always stand up for herself, drive him crazy in every aspect of life and impress him day by day.
And after getting the taste of heaven, Ilgaz wasn’t able to let go of Ceylin’s hand. To hell with blood ties, he’d have to come clean with Cüneyt. He’d have to open up about his feelings and face the consequences of the choice his heart made.
Ilgaz squeezed Ceylin’s delicate hand tighter, leading her after himself.
Even with a head start, Serdar didn’t go far. Ilgaz could call it a hand of fate or a convenient coincidence, but the young man managed to get into a verbal fight with a gang of teenagers in the street, wasting precious time.
Ilgaz had no doubt their trick with a kiss fooled no one, so there was no need to play games anymore. In a swift motion he caught Serdar by the collar of his winter jacket.
“LET GO OF ME, YOU MORON!”
“Quiet, Serdar bey,” Ilgaz twisted both Serdar’s arms behind his back, “or I’ll add harassing the state prosecutor into your case.”
“You have no right!” He continued shouting. “I didn’t do anything!”
In answer Ilgaz just pulled the teddy bear out of the inner pocket of the guy’s jacket. “What’s this?”
“It’s not mine.”
“And how did this thing get into your jacket? Came alive and jumped inside?”
“My friend gave it to me! I know nothing!”
Ilgaz clicked his tongue, turning to Ceylin. She was standing next to them, an expression of utter disgust plastered on her face. He knew how much this whole thing should have affected her, considering that drugs were one of the reasons for Inci’s death. But to the woman’s credit, she held herself straight, not giving away any emotions other than anger.
“Ceylin, can you call komiser Eren, please? We have a rather difficult case at our hands it seems.”
“Already on it, savcım.”
If only they were able to crack this guy and Çınar, they’d have had a chance to cover the whole web of drug dealers.
But as much as that thought excited Ilgaz, a small voice at the back of his mind kept on repeating a simple truth.
He’s your brother. Your duty is to protect him.
And when did that voice became Ceylin’s?
***
POV Ceylin
Watching Ilgaz behind the glass of the interrogation room was fascinating.
As a lawyer she often was with clients on the other side of the wall, trying to find ways out of difficult spots, but never next to a detective in the dark surveillance room.
Prosecutor Ilgaz was absolutely different from the Ilgaz she now knew. Ceylin knew this was the same person, and still the authority he was exuding from the very moment of entering the room made chills go down her spine.
All his questions were cleverly formulated, leaving Serdar few chances for defence. And honestly, the guy hardly had enough mental capacity even to be Ilgaz’s equal.
Of course, with a decent lawyer it was possible to fight against the accusations, but the state representative was little to not interested in Serdar’s fate. He was more invested in texting on his smartphone than in the interrogation itself.
Ceylin knew a lot of the prosecutor’s questions were based on assumptions with no real evidence, and the whole thing was borderline bluffing.
Though even that worked perfectly with Ilgaz savcı.
“Alright, I’ll tell you everything!” Serdar exclaimed, and the triumphant expression on Ilgaz’s face couldn’t escape Ceylin.
“Talk then,” the prosecutor stood up, took off the blazer and rolled up the sleeves of his blazing white shirt.
Ceylin had to swallow hard at the thoughts that flooded her mind at the sight.
“We bought the drugs with my friend Çınar Kaya and stashed them in his house. But then we decided that it was immoral to use them and tried to get rid of the pills. That’s the whole story, savcı bey.”
That was not what Ilgaz wanted to hear.
“Are you playing dumb with me?”
“You wanted the truth, so I’m giving you the truth. Ask Çınar Kaya, I’m sure he will confirm my story.”
“So all this trouble was for getting rid of the drugs you bought for yourself?” Ceylin already saw the vein pulsing on the prosecutor’s neck. He was not angry. He was mad.
“We panicked! Çınar is your brother after all and the son of the police officer!”
The joke of a lawyer finally raised his head from his phone, probably finding enough gossip material in the turn the interrogation was taking.
“Sayın savcım,” the man started after clearing his throat, “don’t you think it’s fair to call Çınar Kaya for an interrogation as well? After all…”
“Will you instruct me on the actions now, avukat bey?” Ilgaz almost growled.
“No, I…”
“Eren komiser, we’re done here! Take the suspect into the cell.”
Ceylin helplessly watched as the prosecutor stormed out of the room, leaving the blazer behind on the back of the metal chair.
For both of them it was clear now that the only way to get to the drug cell was through Çınar. But that way also meant putting the youngest Kaya son in a danger none of them could really estimate.
***
POV Ilgaz
He felt trapped.
Underestimating Serdar was a mistake. Just when Ilgaz thought he pressed the guy enough, he threw the ball into the prosecutor’s hands.
Without a doubt Serdar realized he was putting Ilgaz in front of a very tough choice. Was he able to sacrifice his brother in order to catch a gang?
Ilgaz knew he wasn’t a good enough brother to straight up answer a solid no.
He was hardly paying attention to the surroundings, probably he was in Eren’s office. At least it smelled like Eren’s office with snacks and freshly baked bread. Ilgaz sank down into a visitor’s chair and clutched his head with his hands.
He couldn’t say how much time passed — could be an hour or several minutes — but only the sound of the glass door opening made him go back to the reality.
Ilgaz expected to see Eren, always filled with a hundred and one fresh lecture on human nature. He admired that quality in his friend, but sometimes he didn’t want to hear instructive parables but just needed a way out.
“Hi,” said the voice that was too beautiful to be Eren’s, making Ilgaz look up.
It was Ceylin, holding a plastic cup of water and smiling softly at him. It was hard to believe that she was real, that someone could look at him that way and see right into his soul. But she was, and her gaze was filled with nothing other than deep affection, understanding and love.
“So,” she said, holding out water to him, “I hope you calmed down. At one point I thought you’d start beating him up.”
“I’m fine. No need to worry.”
“You know, Ilgaz, “I’m fine” is both the best and worst lie humanity even came up with,” she pushed the second chair closer to him, and also sat down.
“What do you want to hear, Ceylin? Will I arrest my brother and make him talk till he cracks?”
“Well, we both know the answer to that question is a no.”
“How can you be so sure?” He could hear his own voice crack, and it made Ilgaz sick.
Ceylin hesitated with an answer, clearly measuring her words. It wasn’t exactly like her, a person who always spoke her mind freely, driving straight into the wall without any breaks. And still Ilgaz knew so little about this woman that sometimes a whole lifetime didn’t seem to be enough to get to know her.
“Because it’s you,” she said finally, taking his hand into hers.
He fought with himself not to raise the other hand and cup her face, leaning down just a little, and taste her pink lips once again.
It wasn’t the time. Definitely not the place too.
“Ceylin… I can’t just close my eyes on the crime.”
“We both know what’s gonna happen with Çınar if he talks. He’ll still be accused and get into jail. And there you won’t be able to save him from their revenge,” her tone became serious. “That Serdar guy won’t ever crack. He’ll just push all the blame onto your brother and walk free with minimal trouble.”
In a swift motion Ilgaz all but jumped from the chair. The visions flashed before his eyes, one scarier than the other, and he hated himself for being so helpless against the cruel reality.
“Ilgaz,” he felt Ceylin’s palm drawing circles on his back, “Çınar is a good guy. He doesn’t deserve all this. Yes, he is troubled and difficult, maybe you and your father don’t understand him most of the time, but that doesn’t make him a bad person.”
He couldn’t find words to answer. Of course, Ceylin was right. No matter what, his brother was always kind to the people he loved. He made mistakes more out of his temper, impatient and fiery, than out of the faults of his heart.
“And what should I do?” He heard himself whisper.
“I’m not telling you to let it all slide,” the lawyer continued. “Make Çınar realize that you know everything. That will be enough to push his buttons, because contrary to what you might think, the guy has a conscience. Are they gonna play that story about buying the pills for themselves? Fine. They will answer for that then. And maybe one day you’ll find Çınar telling you everything. And if not…”
Ceylin suddenly cupped his face, looking straight into his eyes.
How could anyone not fall in love with Ceylin Erguvan when she was able to look at them like that? When those bottle-green eyes stripped your soul naked, mesmerizing and freezing you in place. When you found yourself helpless against her spell. When you were ready to switch the earth and the sky in places just to earn her smile.
“If there’s one person to solve any crime without any external help, it’s you Ilgaz savcı.”
Ilgaz would have given anything to be the only one deserving that blazing smile of hers.
***
“Ilgaz, we need to get back home. It’s almost morning. You need to catch at least a couple of hours of sleep.”
Get back home
The words felt like music to his heart. He could easily envision Ceylin saying this for real, scolding him for staying late at work. He was ready to share everything with her, make his home theirs, spend the rest of his days in her chaotic presence.
“Eren will take you, Ceylin. I still have business to do, but you go. You need to sleep as much if not more,” the man squeezed her shoulder gently, “Let’s meet at the precinct at noon. We still need to work out a strategy for the fake-dead husband case.”
Both Ceylin and Eren giggled. “Wow, didn’t know you pet-named your cases.”
“Stop it, avukat hanım.”
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, sayın savcım!” Ceylin raised her hands up in the air. “I name my gadgets all the time! Remember that joke of a computer in my office? It’s called Shisō.”
“Shisō?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t know about the slowest marathon runner. He only finished the distance in 55 years. My laptop approximately needs the same time to connect to wi-fi.”
Ilgaz was still smiling on the way to the hospital, his thoughts jumping from Ceylin’s silly jokes to their kiss and to her comforting him about his brother.
After taking the decision to fight for her the prosecutor finally felt at ease. Of course, the situation was far from being resolved. After all, they were talking about stealing his cousin’s bride. But now that he was sure his feelings were mutual, Ilgaz chose to be honest with the whole world. He was ready to scream to the whole world about loving Ceylin. He could accept ruining what little was left from his relationships with Cüneyt. If Ceylin decided to open her heart for him, he wasn’t going to leave them both in misery because of his principles.
The clock on the wall showed eight o’clock, marking the start of visiting hours. Ilgaz didn’t even know what to expect from his own visit, after all, Cüneyt was still unconscious. But according to the doctor the situation was improving rapidly, and they could expect the patient to wake up any hour.
For now, though, his cousin was motionless, his every vital system depending on the medical equipment. It was difficult to imagine that they were on very bad terms now that he was sleeping that peacefully.
Ilgaz still remembered the day he found out about Cüneyt’s new job. Even knowing that the guy was ambitious, Ilgaz couldn’t imagine him ever siding with Yekta Tilmen. He knew the man and his dirty methods, and losing the person he still cared for to him was unbearable.
“Hi, Cüneyt,” Ilgaz felt rather stupid talking to an unconscious body, but continued after clearing his throat. “Hope you’re not waiting for an apology for not visiting you. Unlike you I don’t spend my days plotting ways to clear criminals.”
He chuckled. It sounded so much like Ceylin, that Ilgaz wondered how much a person could influence him just in the span of ten days.
“The doctor says you’ll wake up any time now. Maybe you won’t believe me, but the whole family is happy that you’re gonna be fine and probably without any lasting damage to your health.”
The beeping was still steady, and the feeling of being silly just increased with Ilgaz.
This is absurd.
“You know, we all met your fiancé. You’re such a lucky man, Cüneyt. Do you even realize that? I doubt it,” Ilgaz sighed. “She’s smart, funny, beautiful, unpredictable, kind… incredible really. But there’s always so much sadness in the deep of her eyes that she tries to hide from everyone, but if you look closely you’ll notice.”
The prosecutor looked through the window as the memories flooded his mind.
So many times in the span of these days he saw Ceylin freezing motionless in place, her gaze glassy and blank. Inexplicably that sight always made his heart shutter. Just a fraction of what this woman had to go through was enough for the vast majority to give up, but somehow Ceylin kept her head high and her back straight.
And still sometimes even her strength wasn’t enough to fight with grief and sadness.
“I’m in love with her,” Ilgaz suddenly blurted out. “I know she’s the woman of my dreams. The one.”
He cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets.
“I know how that sounds. And if she decides to stay with you I won’t be standing in your way, Cüneyt. But there’s something that makes me hopeful. And if Ceylin chooses so, I’ll fight for her till the last drop of my blood.”
Suddenly the beeping of the monitor fastened. Just at the mention of Ceylin’s name all the machines jumped to life, as if telling Ilgaz to stop confessing. As if answering for Cüneyt about his betrayal.
The door burst open as the team of two nurses and an intern ran into the room.
“Sir, please, leave. We need to work.”
In a second Ilgaz found himself in front of the closed door, wondering what exactly went wrong. He was sure Cüneyt reacted to Ceylin’s name. Could he hear his speech? Was he mad at Ilgaz? Was it a normal reaction for mentioning his bride?
“Ilgaz savcı!” Boomed in the hall.
Ilgaz didn’t need to turn around to distinguish the voice of Yekta Tilmen. Of course, it was logical to expect the man by his employee’s side. But if he had a choice, Ilgaz would have preferred to never see that face again.
“Avukat bey,” he nodded in acknowledgment.
“What a tragic play of events! Who would have thought such a thing could happen with such a good young man.”
The theatrics of this man were incredible. Ilgaz could even applaud him if he wasn’t as disgusted as he was.
“Good day, Yekta bey,” Ilgaz wasn’t in the mood to listen to the lawyer’s speeches.
He hardly took five steps forward when Yekta’s voice made him stop dead in his tracks.
“Who would have thought she’d push him! But I knew… I always knew there was something wrong with this girl. She always had those criminal tendencies. Engin told us a lot of stories that would make your hair stand on end…”
Ilgaz felt his heart stop. Suddenly the corridor seemed too narrow and small. There wasn’t enough air to breathe.
“Who do you mean?” Ilgaz heard himself asking.
“Ceylin Erguvan, of course!” Yekta announced dramatically. “And if her crime wasn’t enough, she told everyone in the hospital she was Cüneyt’s fiancé! Can you believe it?”
He couldn’t. He wasn’t going to even. Yekta was a pathological liar, and his words were as poisonous as his acts. Just like Engin, this man tried his best to ruin anything that was important for Ceylin.
“I don’t have the whole day to listen to your baseless tales, Yekta bey. Good day.”
“Oh no, don’t tell me the sneaky fraud fooled you too, savcım!”
Ilgaz didn’t even notice his feet bringing him face to face with the lawyer, and the next second he already grabbed Yekta by the front of his plaid vest.
“One more word, and you’ll regret ever meeting Ceylin, I swear,” the prosecutor said through gritted teeth.
“Woah, woah, easier, Ilgaz savcı!” The man tried to get out of the grip, but Ilgaz was much stronger. “I’m very sorry you managed to develop such deep feelings for Ceylin hanım in such a short time. But if you think about her story once again you’ll find it more logical with what I told you about.”
Ilgaz couldn’t stand his presence any longer. Even if Yekta’s words were an ugly lie — which he was sure they were — Ilgaz needed to know for sure to shut the bastard once and for all.
And he only knew one place to look.
***
POV Ceylin.
“It's taking longer than I thought. Try to find a witness.”
That was the only message Eren received from Ilgaz since the morning. Only two short sentences and radio silence ever since.
Ceylin didn’t want to feel disappointed, but the thought of spending the day without Ilgaz saddened her. Insensibly, he became the most important person in her miserable and lonely life.
Ilgaz didn’t do much. He wasn’t a man of big words and gestures. He didn’t move mountains or drained oceans in her name.
His power was different. Somehow just being near him made her mood better. His kindness melted all the armor around her heart, took down all her walls.
They’ve spent only ten days together, but he already seemed to know Ceylin better than anyone in this damn universe.
He put half a teaspoon of sugar into her tea just like she preferred, never forgot to leave the window leaf open at night in the salon for her comfort, and never was tired of her presence.
Ilgaz Kaya was the most remarkable man Ceylin knew, and the more she realized that, the less strength she had for keeping up the farce.
The kiss changed everything.
She wasn’t fooling just a stranger anymore. It was the man she fell in love with and his family. And every day that she spent in this disgusting pit of lies drove Ceylin farther away from the desired future with the only man she was ready to share her life with.
“Hey, kraliçe!” Eren’s voice suddenly pulled her from the sea of thoughts. “We’re there.”
Ceylin looked through the car’s window. They were in front of a big office building all made of glass. There, among tens of other companies was a small IT firm owned by Burak Seven, and Ceylin was desperately counting on finding at least one person to help them connect the bastard with the crime.
“Let’s go,” she said firmly, leaving the car.
“Are you alright, Ceylin?” Eren wondered, catching up with her at the turning doors. “You seem different. As if something is bothering you.”
“The only thing you need to know about me, Eren, is that my life is nothing but a hot mess. I can hardly breathe sometimes under all the garbage and lies.”
“I’ve watched the two of you,” Eren protested. “You were happy. Radiant even. And now all that is gone.”
Ceylin sighed deeply. What could she really say? Confess to the detective she almost killed a man and then lied her way into his family?
“I’m a fraud, Eren,” she blurted out in spite of herself.
“What?”
“After he finds out, he’s gonna hate me for the rest of his life. I hope me spending mine in jail will be some comfort for Ilgaz.”
“I still don’t understand you, Ceylin,” Eren scratched his head in confusion, and Ceylin couldn’t blame him.
“Forget it,” she marched forward. “Either way you’re gonna hate me just like everyone else soon. With me it’s never different.”
***
The office was simple but stylish. Just like a modern startup should have been. The company’s profile was mostly creating products with artificial intelligence, but of course they also dealt with various types of software developments.
“Listen, little lady,” Eren leaned on the desk to the secretary who was too scared to talk, “I can come back with a whole team and an order. I don’t care at all, but don’t you? Do you really need this publicity as a promising startup?”
Just like the lawyer thought, the blonde girl looked at Ceylin in search of support.
“Detective,” Ceylin called, “can you give us time and not undertake anything, please? Just as a personal favor to me?”
They developed that strategy on the way up to the office. Both Eren and Ceylin realized they didn’t have an order to search the place, and there wasn’t enough time or ground to get it with the judge. That’s why they agreed on bluffing, depending on the circumstances.
Which were very favorable.
The secretary was a young girl, hardly out of school. Seeing Eren’s badge made her visibly tremble, and Ceylin immediately realized she was a perfect target.
“Your name is Esra, isn’t it?” The lawyer asked as soon as they were alone in an empty surveillance room. “Don’t be afraid. The detective will not harm you in any way.”
“But… I don’t even know anything at all…”
“Are you sure? Burak bey is facing very serious accusations. Faking his death, trying to frame his wife and, we are sure, messing with the surveillance footage of the apartment building.”
Ceylin tried to not press the girl too much, but at the same time she needed to push her buttons to get what she wanted, so she continued after not receiving any answers.
“Look, Esra. With or without your help, the police will find ways to arrest Burak bey. At this point this is inevitable. And they will also find out if anyone knew anything and then… Esra, they won’t be gentle and understanding anymore.”
Ceylin didn’t feel bad for the girl’s tears. She’d seen so much crying in her life — genuine and fake — that her professional deformation made her resistant to such stunts.
The goal was all that mattered at the moment. Burak had to answer for what he tried to do to his wife. For his lies and cheating, for betraying everything love stood for. He didn’t deserve loyalty. And Ceylin wasn’t going to tiptoe around his workers.
“I’ll lose my job, Avukat hanım…” Esra whimpered.
“You’ll lose it anyway when the company’s office is arrested. The question is, will you be a part of the case or not.”
As the young secretary looked up at her with her big teary-red eyes, Ceylin knew that she had just won that battle.
***
POV Ilgaz
“Sayın savcım! Welcome!”
A little plump man all but flew to Ilgaz, scraping, bowing and smiling from ear to ear.
Ilgaz nodded back in acknowledgement and shook the outstretched hand. Fatih bey was always like this, very obsequious and supple, which his fellow colleagues always used if needed.
Especially Pars.
The men complemented each other perfectly: the first was always ready to appease and the other one was always falling for all the praise people could offer him.
To Fatih bey the status mattered everything. If you had any power at all, you didn’t need a judge’s order to view any documents or footage. If it was in the system, the man would have provided anything, no matter what precinct or part of the country was in question. His web of connections was one of the widest in their field, and sometimes Ilgaz wondered how could this man still be just a common supervisor in the technical department.
“What brings you here, Ilgaz savcı?”
“I need a favor, Fatih bey,” Ilgaz started deciding on dealing with the matter quickly.
The man almost jumped in excitement. Ilgaz knew his reputation surpassed him, because in the whole city probably it was impossible to find a police worker or a prosecutor who would not know about his principles and strict rules.
But urgent matters required urgent measures, or what was the phrase?
“Anything for you, savcı bey.”
“I don’t think it’s gonna be difficult, actually. I need footage from last Monday from Taksim metro station. Should be around noon.”
“Is it a part of an investigation?” The man wondered, already dialing a number on his phone.
“Not exactly,” Ilgaz cleared his throat. “But Fatih bey, I hope this stays between us.”
Seeing how the man’s lips stretched in an unpleasant smile, Ilgaz only hoped that the favor wouldn’t cost him too much in the future.
Not longer thirty minutes later he was opening the files from the flash drive. In truth, he wanted to reconstruct the events of that morning from the moment he got news of his cousin’s accident, but Ceylin and her role in that story mixed all his cards.
Ilgaz had no choice anymore. He had to check if there was even a tiny truth to Yekta’s words, or catch the man lying.
He watched the footage on double speed, trying not to miss the moment of the fall. Finally Ceylin appeared in the frame closely followed by Cüneyt.
They were arguing, there was no doubt about that. Ilgaz knew Ceylin well enough already to recognize deep frustration by her animated gestures. More than that, he was sure the lawyer was almost screaming at his cousin.
In any case, the man didn’t just stay there unconcerned. He answered back, holding Ceylin by the elbow in a manner that made blood boil in Ilfgaz’s veins.
And then the unexpected happened. They were standing too close to the edge, and as Ceylin twisted and turned her arm from the man’s grip, Cüneyt lost his balance and landed straight on the rails.
It took Ceylin twenty seconds to jump after him and a minute more to drag the man all the way to the safe place at the beginning of the platform.
Yekta was wrong, she didn’t push Cüneyt under the train, but it hardly was a relief for Ilgaz.
“It you think about her story once again you’ll find it more logical with what I told you about.”
His guts told Ilgaz that Ceylin was not truthful with him. Falling in love with her made his inner voice weak and feeble, but the prosecutor couldn’t ignore it anymore.
He had to know for sure.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The door opened before Ilgaz had a chance to answer.
“Are you free now, savcım?”
He looked stunned at the woman who entered the office, clapping her high heels on the floor, and looking at him with the sweetest smile Ilgaz had ever seen on her amazingly beautiful face.
“Don’t look at me as if you saw a ghost,” she laughed and put rather longer strands of red hair behind her ear.
“Neva?”
***
POV Ceylin
“Ceylin.”
She only quickened her pace.
“Ceylin, wait.”
Eren was very stubborn, she could give him that.
“I don’t want to talk, Eren. Just drop it, can’t you?” She almost shouted, not looking back.
It didn’t take the man long to catch up with Ceylin and block her way. His gaze was very concerned, soft. Ceylin knew he was Ilgaz’s friend, not her, but in such moments she really wished she could have a friend like Eren. A steady shoulder to lean on or cry at. A wise person to highlight all her mistakes and always be ready with advice and a bottle of cold beer.
Like everything good, that dream was unreachable for Ceylin.
“You can trust me, Ceylin. With anything, I swear.”
“Even with a crime?” She smiled sadly.
Eren’s eyes widened, the expression of fear and disbelief replaced a friendly smile on his tanned face. He looked at Ceylin as if for the first time, and the lawyer couldn’t blame him.
She would have preferred to not have any business with herself anyway.
“What did you do, Ceylin?”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit strange and even a little insulting to expect my confession straight to your face, detective?” She tried to joke, but it hardly reached them both.
“I can help you,” Eren insisted. “I’m sure together we will find a way out.”
Ceylin looked at his earnest face and felt the warmth of gratitude spreading through her veins.
How long was she going to hold the secret still anyway? Merdan already knew the truth, and Cüneyt was already on his way from the sweet oblivion.
If only he woke up with severe memory loss and behaved like a twelve year old…
And wasn’t it strange that the Devil himself hadn’t appeared in her doorway in his plaid vest, accusing Ceylin of each and every sin?
If she couldn’t have an ally in Eren, at least she could get her sentence reduced for a sincere confession.
“I lied.”
“That I figured, thank you,” Eren huffed.
“I’m not Cüneyt’s fiancée.”
“What?”
“In fact he’s one of the three people I hate most.”
“What?!”
“And I think it was me who pushed him off the platform.”
“WHAT??” Eren’s voice became comically high pitched, and Ceylin couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. “You know what? I can’t process this information on an empty stomach.”
Eren looked around and pointed to the small cafe not far from the buildings.
“Let’s just sit down, and you’ll tell me everything, Ceylin? Maybe I misunderstood your Turkish and hallucinated your words anyway.”
In twenty minutes Eren definitely understood that Ceylin’s words were neither a hallucination nor a fantasy. He froze with his spoon up in the air, listening carefully to the lawyer’s every word.
“So when the nurse suggested I was a fiancée, I just went with it to keep an eye on Cüneyt. I never planned to meet the Kaya family, but whatever happened happened,” she finished her story and suddenly felt better than ever.
It was easier than she thought. Eren didn’t interrupt her speech, didn’t ask questions. He wasn’t interrogating her or accusing her. Like a true friend he let her finish her story without judgement, and only for that Ceylin was already grateful.
“You won’t say anything, will you?” Ceylin asked hesitantly.
“What can I say, Ceylin?” Eren put his spoon back into the bowl. “If I’m being honest, the story should have alerted me from the start. So shame on me for letting you fool me that easily.”
“So you’re not mad.”
“No. It doesn’t make it easier though,” Eren sighed heavily. “We’ll have to wait for Cüneyt to wake up and only then we’ll see whether we’ll have a case or not.”
“He won’t let me rest, I can assure you,” Ceylin took a sip from her coffee cup. “He hates me as much as I hate him.”
Eren winked at her suddenly. “You know all those plots with memory loss in movies? Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
Ceylin laughed so loudly that the people around them started muttering in disapproval.
“Eren, words “Ceylin Erguvan” and “luck” are antonyms. We’re worse than parallel lines. Nothing good ever happens to me.”
“I’m sure it’s not true.”
The earnest expression in the detective’s eyes spoke more than words. But what good was thinking about the unfeasible?
Yes, Ilgaz was that only good that this joke of a life granted her with. But was thinking about everything that could be and would never be a gift? Was the love they weren’t given a chance to live even for a short time a miracle or punishment?
“We both know he will hate me,” she muttered, barely discernible.
“He won’t,” Eren shook his head. “Çınar did so much worse, and Ilgaz never turned his back to him.”
“It’s not the same, Eren. I would’ve forgiven Inci anything. Because she is… was my sister.”
“It’s not about your blood ties, Ceylin. It’s about love. And Ilgaz… He loves you, Ceylin. I’ve never seen him like this, to be honest. Not with Neva, not with anyone else.”
A sudden hit of jealousy made the lawyer shift uneasily in her chair. Of course, there were other women. Some Ilgaz must have simply dated, some he must have wanted to marry. Suddenly she wondered what kind of a person Neva was.
Ceylin knew the woman was a rare beauty, graceful and fragile, with beautiful waves of honey-red hair and flawless porcelain skin.
Was she as smart as she was beautiful? Ceylin bet she was. The judge must have been a perfect bride, loved and accepted by everyone, doing everything by the book, being one of the best representatives of their sex.
“Why did they break up?” She bursted out suddenly and immediately wanted to slap herself.
Her life was falling apart like a house of cards, and all Ceylin could think about was Ilgaz.
“Ilgaz and Neva?” Eren asked, chewing a piece of white bread. “They just… Fell out of love, I guess.”
“But why? Weren’t they perfect together?” She pressed, seeing that Eren wasn’t against the topic.
The detective huffed. “If we fell in love only with perfect people, the world would have been such a wonderful place!” He looked away for a few seconds, in search of the most suitable words. “I think Ilgaz just couldn’t handle Neva’s love.”
Ceylin looked at Eren questionably, not fully understanding the meaning of his words. After all, they were planning a marriage.
“They say in a couple one person always loves a bit more. But for most the disbalance is not really noticeable. Neva though…” Eren sighed and smiled sadly. “Her love became too obsessive. She tried to control Ilgaz’s every step all the way from Ankara. She didn’t let him breathe, especially with all that wedding hassle.”
Eren told her how the couple couldn’t agree on anything.
Neva wanted a big ceremony in a luxurious place while Ilgaz preferred a small occasion only for their families and close friends.
Ilgaz didn’t think it was practical to rent a big house for just the two of them when he had a comfortable place of his own, but Neva wanted to find nothing less than a palace of her dream.
Kids, vacations, a city to settle down in, — everything was a topic to argue about.
“In the end Ilgaz decided it was enough and wanted to go to Ankara to end things. But it was never the right time,” Eren finished with sadness. “After almost a month of trying he had to break up with her on the phone.”
“On the… you must be kidding me,” Ceylin thought her eyes would jump out of their orbits. “It's not like Ilgaz to dump somebody on the phone.”
“Believe me, he was very sorry. But Neva left him no choice.”
“I don’t think that’s true. At least, did he go to see her and talk?”
Eren assured her that he did, and the couple closed the topic forever like good friends. But Ceylin couldn’t help but wonder if that was really enough for Neva.
Could they really stay just friends? She never knew it was possible. At least all her romances ended in an uncontrollable disaster.
And her unlived love story with Ilgaz promised to be the biggest disaster of them all.
***
POV Ilgaz.
He wasn’t sure what they were supposed to talk about.
When all those months ago Ilgaz appeared on Neva’s doorstep with a confirmation of his intention to cancel their engagement, he didn’t really think they would be able to see each other again.
Not that they had a big scandal. On the contrary, Neva was so calm that at some point her condition even scared the man.
Ilgaz hoped she understood that it was better for them to go separate ways, but just in case he kept an eye on her through their common friend in Ankara.
And when they finally said she seemed to move on from him finding a new guy, Ilgaz felt like a heavy weight was taken off his chest.
Even though the desire and passion were gone, he still had very warm feelings for Neva and more than anything wished for her happiness.
But seeing her drinking coffee in front of him was a bit too much for Ilgaz. And their silence betrayed all the unease of the situation.
“So, how are you, Ilgaz? Are you happy?” The judge started unexpectedly with a sweet smile.
“As much as I can be,” he answered evasively.
To be happy he needed Ceylin, but she was unavailable for him. And the video he just watched tangled everything even tighter.
“What brings you here, Neva?” Ilgaz wondered.
“Oh, I’m moving to Istanbul!” The woman exclaimed, her eyes shining. “I will upgrade my qualification and also work at this court. Isn’t it wonderful? Just like old times: you, me, Eren. Three musketeers against the world.”
“And Pars as our grey cardinal,” Ilgaz chuckled.
“Ilgaz!” Neva scolded, but laughed brightly at his joke. “My poor brother. No wonder he was always so against our marriage.”
Ilgaz’s smile fell. He didn’t want to touch the subject of their failed marriage attempt. He didn’t want to cause more pain to Neva, and didn't want to open her old wounds.
Maybe he moved on too fast.
“I’m getting married, Ilgaz,” she blurted out, making Ilgaz jump in his seat.
“What?”
“Sorry, I just didn’t know how to say it differently.”
“I’m… wow. Congratulations, Neva!”
In the end, maybe there wasn’t much left to move on from for both of them.
“It’s not a problem for you, is it?” She continued hesitantly.
“Why should it be? My only wish is your happiness, Neva. Never doubt this.”
“Well, there’s a reason I wanted to talk to you, to be honest. I don’t want to shock you, or just appear unexpectedly on your doorstep. But you can be sure, it has nothing to do with you. I swear, it just happened.”
The more she talked, the less Ilgaz understood. But he could swear there was something sinister under all that verbal chaos. Something that made his insides twist painfully in a horrible anticipation.
“Neva,” he interrupted. “Are you pregnant?”
Now it was Neva’s turn to look shocked. And then she bursted out laughing.
“Only if I’m pregnant with a baby elephant, Ilgaz!” She went on laughing, wiping off tears from her face.
“Neva, it’s not funny.”
“But it is! Didn’t you study math at school? I don’t even remember the last time we were together. I should’ve given birth probably already.”
Ilgaz felt embarrassed, but in his defense there was little he could suppose in the context of his ex-fiancé’s words.
Neva shifted in her seat, obviously trying to find the best words. “Look, again, I promise I didn’t try to get back into your life. It just sort of happened.”
“For God’s sake, Neva, what is it?”
“I’m dating your cousin.”
“What cousin?”
“As if you have many cousins, Ilgaz.”
“I don’t understand.”
And he really didn’t.
Neva’s story of meeting Cüneyt in Ankara one day three months ago and finding him to be an extremely interesting person also didn’t help.
Nither did her excitement at him proposing several weeks ago.
There was hardly any sense to her words. Was Cüneyt fooling both Neva and Ceylin?
Or was he, Ilgaz, being fooled by one of them?
“She told everyone in the hospital she was Cüneyt’s fiancée! Can you believe it?”
Ilgaz knew he wasn’t well.
The room suddenly appeared small and stuffy. There was definitely not enough air, and the man hurried to open the window.
“My insurance doesn’t cover window jumpers, you know.”
Her face, smiling brightly, appeared before his tightly closed eyes. Her jokes boomed in his ears. Her scent still filled his lungs.
Ceylin Erguvan was everywhere, in his every thought and memory. A beautiful liar who stole his life and changed his views completely.
“Ilgaz?” He heard Neva’s worried voice breaking through the muffled silence in his ears. “Allah, I knew you’d react badly. But I’ve never met a person who understood me better than Cüneyt, and I hope you’ll be able to rise above prejudice…”
“Let’s have this talk later, alright? I don’t think I’m in any condition to think straight now.” On unsteady legs he crossed the room, took his coat from the hanger and pointed to the door. “I need to go now. But let’s meet tomorrow, Neva, and discuss everything in detail.”
She nodded and followed him into the corridor.
“By the way, I can’t reach Cüneyt. He warned me he would be on business but he should have been back already…”
“Don’t you know?”
“What should I know?”
Of course, she didn’t know.
Another woman was given constant updates on her fake fiancée’s health condition.
Another woman was granted access to his room as a close relative.
Another woman was called a daughter by his family.
The woman he couldn’t stop thinking about. And who probably just laughed at him.
It didn’t take them very long to get to the hospital. It was a sheer miracle to arrive there in one piece without accidents because Ilgaz hardly paid any attention to where he was driving.
Like a madman he ran through the memories over and over, trying to separate truths and lies. The moments he was sure Ceylin was genuine and those that alarmed him, inconsistencies in her behavior and the sincerity in her actions. Everything was tied together in a dense web, and the depth of his feelings only complicated everything.
In one thing Ilgaz was sure: Ceylin wasn’t a bad person. She wasn’t a stranger to lying and her methods were questionable, but the care and love she showed to his family were something one couldn’t fake. Her brilliant mind was never used for evil, otherwise Yekta wouldn’t have gone after her for not cooperating.
The more Ilgaz went back, the more he realized how many times Ceylin probably was on the verge of telling him the truth. Her nightmares, her long far-away gazes and occasional ambiguous remarks, — everything worked to support that theory.
And of course, it was impossible to fake the bond that formed between them. Ilgaz didn’t doubt the feelings he had for the lawyer, but he also was sure in Ceylin’s.
“Where to?” Asked Neva, pulling him out of the flow of thoughts.
“Room 309.”
It took him ten long steps to cross the distance from the stairs to his cousin’s room. Still emerged in his thoughts Ilgaz didn’t notice Neva’s plea to wait for her as she answered a call from her brother.
Determined, Ilgaz pushed the door open, expecting to see Cüneyt in the same state as the man was in the morning. But something different was waiting beside the door.
A crowd of people were gathered in front of the patient’s bed, but they all weren’t looking at Cüneyt. He himself stared right behind him at the dark-haired woman, who was actively explaining something to his family.
Trying not to attract any attention, Ilgaz stepped into the shadow of the room’s corridor and quietly closed the door behind him.
“I don’t expect your forgiveness. What I did has no explanation and reasoning. I shouldn’t have lied,” Ceylin said. “I was scared at first, and then I got to know you all and it was so nice to finally have someone who accepted me and understood me. And then…”
Ilgaz was afraid to breathe, expecting her to continue. But in no way he was prepared for what she was going to say.
“And then I fell in love with your son, Metin bey.”
But before Ilgaz could register the magnitude of Ceylin’s words and their effect on his racing heart, Çınar moved just enough to see him, and ignoring the silent signs Ilgaz was trying to give, exclaimed loud and clear.
“Ağabey!”
All heads turned to him, but only one thing mattered.
In the beloved eyes Ilgaz read everything he wished to know.