Chapter Text
"how have you both been for the last few weeks?"
as it was finally summer, sunlight was still pouring through the window in ms. makiko's office. geto had never much cared for summer time, as he hated feeling overheated, but for today at least, the heat wasn't bothering him.
geto looked at her, and for the first time actually wondered how old she was. there was no way she was more than a year or two older than either of them, if she was at all; he suspected that she must be recently educated.
"i - what do you think, satoru?" geto asked, looking over at gojo. he idly thought how much he loved the brightly patterned shirt gojo was wearing; as much as he might balk at the idea of spending so much on clothes, one of the things he always internally loved about his husband was how effortlessly put together he always managed to look.
"i mean, i've been happy," gojo said truthfully. "i really love doing things as a family, so getting to spend more time together has been really made a difference for me. plus, since we're both in education we get a lot more time off during the summer." he patted geto's hand on the couch. "what do you think?" geto looked at him for another second before turning to ms. makiko again. "i've felt really happy too. i just - i'm worried that...i don't know."
"it's alright, mr. geto, this is the safest place to voice any concerns you have about your marriage," ms. makiko said encouragingly.
geto took a deep breath. "i don't know. i'm just...i'm worried that this won't last; that its not sustainable. i'm worried we won't be able to spend enough time together at some point down the line, or that something else will happen and we'll end up hating each other, or just...i don't know. i'm not sure how to let go of that fear," he said, not confident he was articulating his anxiety well. "i just don't want to end up where we were four months ago. i never want to be there again."
"that's a very common worry people have when taking part in therapy, particularly in couples counselling," ms. makiko said reassuringly. "the best advice i can offer is to make sure that both of you have realistic expectations, and not to place too much pressure on yourself or your partner. it's important that you discuss what you expect from each other moving forward to make sure that you're on the same page, and i also always recommend taking the approach that you both view the tools we go over in here as guidelines rather than as hard goals you need to meet; that takes a lot of the pressure off the feeling that you need to get certain things done or you’re failing each other. and always remember, we're all human beings and no one will ever be perfect, so please don’t put that expectation on yourself or each other," she said kindly.
geto let himself feel comforted by gojo squeezing his hand. "i won't ever hate you, baby," gojo said. "unless maybe you murdered an entire village of people or something really insane like that. and even then, i don't think i could ever really hate you."
geto shook his head. "yeah, i don't think i could ever really hate you either. i guess it's more of just an irrational fear."
"it's really not all that irrational, mr. geto. these concerns truly are very common and usually rooted in the very deep desire to keep your marriage healthy and happy, which is a very normal thing to want," she said, giving an affirming nod. "and how do you feel your daughters are doing? do they seem to be feeling safer and more secure with your family unit?"
"last tuesday when nanako and i went to the grocery store, she told me that she was so glad suguru had come out with us the prior saturday because for a while she had been worried that he and i really were upset with each other and didn't want to spend time together anymore," gojo said. "she said her and mimiko had talked about it again after they had asked me about it. but having more family time actually has made both of them feel a lot better, so thank you for suggesting it."
"oh, i am so glad to hear that, mr. gojo," ms. makiko said, and she did look sincerely happy at the news. but geto couldnt let go of the gnawing feeling that he had let them down by making them worry about their parents -
"why do you still look so upset?"
geto glanced over at gojo, who was looking at him with a concerned frown.
"i just...i kind of feel like i let them down by making them worry about us. kids should never have to worry about their parents. especially not the two of them; i mean they were literally abandoned at age four, they don’t need any more stress in their home life." he sat back on the couch. "i just...i want to be perfect for them. i know that's not realistic, but i guess...i just don’t want them to have to feel that way ever again either."
ms. makiko paused. "i would take the fact that you're so concerned about it as evidence that you'll be far less likely to in the future," she said thoughtfully. "when we care deeply about others and are conscious of the way our behaviors affect them, it typically makes it a little easier for us to stop those behaviors; it gives us that extra push of motivation. plus, getting to see the positive impact your changes have on their happiness is also usually enough to keep a lot of people from regressing excessively. again, this is not to say that the two of you will never have an argument ever again, as that is just not a realistic expectation, but i think that increased awareness of the impact your relationship with each other has on your daughters will give you another strong reason to want to keep your marriage happy and healthy."
geto studied the lacy tablecloth for a moment. "yeah, i mean...i think keeping them safe and happy will always be our top priority. man, now i know why my parents called me every day when i left for school in the city; i can't imagine them eventually moving out," he said, rubbing his forehead. "what the hell will we even do with ourselves?"
"a lot of couples go through another big change in their marriage after their children move out, but i think the two of you still have some time before you get to that point," ms. makiko said with a smile. "but no matter where they are, you’ll always be their fathers."
gojo squeezed geto’s hand again. "we’ll get to that when we get there," he said, "but for now we still get to enjoy being their dads every day."
geto thought about what gojo had said to him after their last appointment. "ma’am - do you recommend we come in again? do you think we’ve made enough progress?"
ms. makiko thought for a moment. "well, the thing about any kind of therapy is that while i can provide my evaluations and perspectives, the patients honest self-reporting is also very important for a more accurate assessment of their condition," she said carefully. "with you two telling me what you have, i do feel like you’ve made significant progress. if you’d like, we can schedule another appointment tentatively for two or three months from now and if you feel like you’d like to come in to maybe do a reassessment or just check in on further progress, we can do that." she pulled out her planner. "or if you feel that you’re doing well and don’t need it you’re welcome to call and cancel any time up until the day before."
"i think that sounds good," gojo said, giving geto a reassuring nod. "so its there if we need it."
"and its not a failure if we do come back?"
"not at all," ms. makiko said in a gentle but serious tone. "recognizing when you need help makes you the furthest thing from a failure.
geto nodded. "okay," he said quietly. "okay."
"i’ll put you down for three months from now, then, and you’re free to cancel at any time if you’d like to," ms. makiko said, making a note in her planner. "until then, gentlemen, i sincerely hope you continue to have good times and find happiness."
two hours later, geto and gojo were in their living room, listening to nanako and mimiko going back and forth about giant squids.
"they literally have VIDEO EVIDENCE that they exist, that is IRREFUTABLE," mimiko said passionately, standing up from the couch. "how are you going to argue with a VIDEO?"
"do you seriously think people can't fake videos? what, were you born yesterday?" nanako rolled her eyes from the floor, turning a page in the book she was reading.
"I SAW IT ON THE NATURE CHANNEL, NANA, THEY AREN'T ALLOWED TO SHOW FAKE STUFF ON THERE - "
"please quiet down a little, sweetheart," gojo said wearily from behind his laptop in a vain attempt to pacify her.
"but dad, they can't tell lies on the nature channel, right?" mimiko whined. "i know they can't!"
"okay, but just because there's a video of one doesn't mean they have a live one hidden under the aquarium," nanako said dismissively. "even if they do exist all the way at the bottom of the ocean - "
"WHICH THEY DO - "
"mimiko, please," geto said, putting a hand on the top of her head as he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. "all of tokyo can hear you when you yell like that."
"well good, because more people need to know about this!" she exclaimed. "there's videos of them on the internet and everything, but people still don't want to admit that the government is trying to downplay how prevalent AND potentially dangerous they are - "
"what, you think they're going to come up out of the sea and walk all the way over here and eat us?" nanako said sarcastically, looking disdainfully up at her twin. "you've been reading too many old myths, you dummy."
"papaaaaaa - "
"be nice to your sister, nanako," geto said as he reentered the room, re-taking his seat on the couch. "come here, mimi," he said, patting the couch next to him.
mimiko sat down in a huff and crossed her arms. "do you wanna watch the nature channel now?" geto asked, handing her the tv remote. "see what they've got on this late?"
"i bet it's more squids," mimiko said enthusiastically, seeming to immediately forget how upset she was at the prospect of further evidence.
geto glanced over at gojo as mimiko quickly flipped through the channels. he was at the table, putting together research to continue his work towards getting tenured, and geto could see how tired it was making him. he watched for a second as gojo scratched the side of his nose and sighed before looking up and making eye contact with him.
gojo smiled. "what?"
geto shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed to have been caught staring. which of course, he had been. "nothing, i just...thought you had something in your hair."
"did you?" gojo mused, closing his laptop. "well i'll have to go and check to make sure in the mirror."
"SEE! papa, look look look!" mimiko pulled geto back to the present by grabbing his arm and shaking it vigorously. "they have footage, i told you! see, nanako? they show them on tv too!"
"whatever," nanako said, not looking up from her book.
geto turned to the tv and was surprised to see they were showing an actual clip of the most enormous squid he had ever seen.
"holy shit, they really do exist," he said quietly, letting mimiko continue to excitedly jostle his arm.
"SEE?! I TOLD YOU ALL!" she said excitedly.
"that'll teach us all not to listen to you," gojo said, flopping down on the couch on mimikos other side. "but where's the evidence for one being under the aquarium?"
"i am so glad that you asked, dad," she said smartly, pulling out her phone. "let me just pull up my blog..."
"you have a blog?" geto asked incredulously, tearing his eyes away from the tv screen.
"uh, yeah, mimihuntscryptids.com," she said as if it were obvious. "try to keep up with the times, papa."
"yeah, papa, keep up," gojo said jokingly, putting his arm along the back of the couch behind her. "it's mimihuntscryptids.com."
geto watched for a minute while mimiko tapped quickly on her phone to bring up her website, getting lost in thought about what ms. makiko had said to them earlier.
"i think that increased awareness of the impact your relationship with each other has on your daughters will give you another strong reason to want to keep your marriage happy and healthy."
"hey."
geto snapped back to earth once again as gojo poked his cheek and realized that mimiko was already talking again.
"...and there are at least FOUR EYEWITNESSES, okay FOUR PEOPLE have seen this; papa, papa are you listening?"
geto blinked and looked at her phone and then at her eager, excited expression.
"yes, mimi, yes; four people did what?"
"okay good, 'cause this is where it gets REALLY interesting..."
he looked back over at gojo, who seemed to have been watching him the entire time. he took a piece of getos long hair to twirl around his finger and said quietly, "you're a great dad."
"they're not even listening to you, mimiko, they're just looking at each other all romantically behind you."
"wha - ew, nana; maybe you're just jealous because you don't have a cool website - "
"hey, i helped design that website so if it is cool then it's because of me. or did you forget that i drew that headline banner for you - "
"well next time we go to the aquarium then i'm not taking all those pictures of you for your instagraph - "
"fine, i'll just have dad take them, he's a better photographer anyway - "
"now that is just plainly not true," gojo interjected, "i am a terrible photographer and all of you know it."
"girls, please be nice," geto said, trying not to sound too tired. "you wouldn't do those things for each other if you didn't love each other, right?"
they both sat in defeated silence for a moment. "yeah, i guess," nanako said, finally closing her book. "but can we please watch something else? i've seen all these squid videos like a thousand times each."
"what about that baking show? the one with the old lady and that mean guy who bakes pastries - ?"
"YEAH, i hate that guy! let's watch that!" nanako said, coming and squishing onto the couch between geto and mimiko while she pulled up netflick.
geto wistfully remembered when they were younger and they used to all squish into one bed for family movie night on saturdays. he was simultaneously mournful that they were no longer his cute little babies but also so proud of what wonderful girls they had grown to be. it felt like a life time ago that he had found two hungry, neglected children and brought them home for leftovers and a bath, and now here they all were; a family he would never have imagined for himself but that he would never want any other way. maybe gojo had been right last month, geto thought to himself. maybe he really did deserve the life he had spent all this time building for them. that they had built together.
"so i want you to remember in five years or whatever that right now i'm saying yes to all three of you, not just you, because i love all three of you."
geto had always struggled to believe other people when they told him positive things about himself, but as he watched the twins huddle over nanako's phone to inspect some news article about one of the baking contestants, he finally felt that gojo may have really been telling him the truth. maybe he really was a good father and a good husband, as much as he knew gojo was to him and the twins too.
"have you ever been in love?"
"just the one time," geto mumbled to himself, fondly remembering that night from 12 years ago.