Chapter Text
This wasn’t a double date. Éponine made sure to tell that to Grantaire and Enjolras and Azelma and Gavroche. She simply wanted to take her younger siblings to watch the Barbie movie and invited her best friend and his boyfriend. Cosette was just one more friend for this group hangout. This was not a double date where the kids happened to be around.
But R didn’t seem to be so convinced of it. And as soon as he finished getting ready, noticing Éponine’s door was opened, he entered her room and sat on her bed, watching the girl give her makeup the finishing touches.
“You know, for someone with such a… strong personality, you surely wear a lot of pink.” He teased as soon as he noticed her eyeshadow, instantly getting an eyeroll out of her.
There it was. The strong personality.
“Yeah, pink rocks, R.” She says defensively, before taking a good look at her friend. White pants, a dark coat over whatever he’s wearing under…
Blasphemous.
“But hey, we’re going to watch the Barbie movie. Where’s the pink in you?”
“Éponine, please. Do you think I’m an amateur?” He scoffed, getting up and taking his coat off to reveal a pink shirt that valued his arm muscles pretty well. Éponine grinned as she picked the hairbrush and started tending her hair as carefully as possible as to not ruin her natural curls.
“Trying to impress your boyfriend, are you?” R scratched the back of his head, shrugging at his roommate.
“He likes my arms…” He winked. “But can you blame him?”
Éponine giggled, putting the hairbrush away as she put on a pink beanie up on her head, completing her outfit which consisted of a white shirt, a pink skirt and combats, leather jacket over all.
“Pretty and threatening.” Grantaire nodded in approval. “Wouldn’t expect any less from you.”
“Well, as I said before, you don’t look so bad yourself, mister.” She booped his nose. “Let’s go? Zelma and Gavroche’s moms are gonna drop them there in 20.”
“Yeah, let’s.”
As they reached the mall, R and Éponine sat at one of the couches at a Starbucks, the girl ordering a blueberry muffin and a chocolate one, along with a cappuccino and a moccha. R got a vanilla latte and watched her muffins as if they were suddenly very interesting. Éponine moved uncomfortably, glancing at him.
“What?”
“…you don't usually order chocolate muffins.”
“Yeah.”
“And that's two drinks.”
“Yeah.”
“Didn't Cosette say she'll be here in five?”
“Grantaire, if you say another sentence I'm gonna stab you with your stupid pencil.”
“I just made an innocent question!”
“There's nothing innocent about a single word you say, pestle.”
“Are you two bullying each other again?” Cosette's voice made Éponine jumped a bit and it took all of Grantaire’s strength not to giggle or laugh but he did love his life.
“Ponine is mean to me!” He complained, getting a giggle out of the girl.
“Well, she's nice to me!” Cosette smiled, giving each of them a hug, before she sat beside Éponine. She looked at the extra cup and muffin and seemed to think for a moment before inquiring.“Is that for your siblings?”
“Uhn… Well. You said you'd be here in five so…” Éponine looked up at her with a soft smile. Cosette's face lighted up as well, before she gave her friend another hug.
“Ponine, that's so sweet! Thank you so much!” She kissed her on the cheek. Éponine could instantly feel her cheeks warming up, heart beating quickly against her chest.
“Anything for you, princess.” She said in a teasing tone, winking at Cosette who giggled.
She looked particular pretty tonight. Pink dress, a cute pink hat on her head, golden boots. It was rare to see her in so much color since she was so often dressed in black.
Éponine was so into her it made her feel stupid.
The movie was as fun as any of them would've expected. And of course, Éponine was ready for the feminism it would touch upon. None of that surprised her.
What she didn't expect was for the beginning to bring her so many memories.
She remembered getting her first Barbie when she was about five, before everything went to shit. When she still thought her mother loved her dearly. She remembered her words as soon as she got that doll were “look, my darling Éponine. She is as pretty as you are.”
She remembered being overly jealous of that doll and that when Azelma started chewing on her feet, Éponine jumped on her and chewed on her instead, to teach her a lesson.
But of course, when Azelma started crying, all she could do was hug her and apologize.
As they grew up, thought, Azelma started playing with her. They had many Barbie accessories. They had houses, boats, planes, cars. Their little imaginary world was endless and they would invent a bunch of stories together.
She couldn't help but snuggle her sister and kiss her head at that point which made the teenager frown, but accept the hug nonetheless.
“What was that for?” She whispered. Éponine smiled
“I'll tell you later.”
On Éponine's other side, Cosette also traveled through childhood memories. But unlike her friend, her mind was in a much darker place and she almost wondered why she accepted to watch this movie.
As a foster child, she never had much of a chance to have her own toys. Ever since she could remember, she always carried this single teddy bear which was the only thing she had left of Fantine. But moving from foster home to foster home, she never had much of chance to keep anything else. And then of course, her final foster home, the one which belonged to those very same girls sitting beside her had scarred her above all of them. She remembered watching Éponine and Azelma play with their city of Barbies, only to be scolded by Mme Thénardier and have her remember she was trash and would never deserve toys like those. It almost made her give up the movie and go home right then and there, her whole body tensing up.
Until she felt a hand on hers. A gentle touch that immediately made her relax a little again.
And how ironic that it was Éponine’s.
They were past that, of course. Cosette had forgiven her for there was no point in blaming the girl when she was barely a child when everything happened. And even more so upon learning what the Thénardier ended up doing to Éponine herself. Cosette wasn't alone in that trauma.
But it still felt a bit ironic to be so comforted by her touch at that moment, when she used to be the one with the pretty Barbies she wished for so much as a child.
“Are you alright?” Éponine whispered, thumb brushing gently against the back of her hand and Cosette almost wanted to say no, only so that touch wouldn't stop.
“I'm okay.” She whispered back, squeezing Éponine's hand. “Thank you.”
Éponine nodded and the caresses unfortunately did stop, but neither of them actually let the other's hand go.
As soon as the movie ended, Éponine did her best to clean her tears before they came out of the room. And only then, did she and Cosette let go of each other's hand.
“I wanna go to a female rights protest right fucking now.” Enjolras blurted out as soon as they were on the outside, a commentary that was immediately met by giggles from absolutely everyone else.
“Enj, please. Are you really trying to convince us that the Barbie movie was what made you want to go to a protest as if that’s not what every single one of our meetings is about?” Grantaire teased, squeezing the hand that he was holding which was met by a grumpy glance from Enjolras.
“Shush.”
“I think he has a point, though…” Azelma interrupted as she looked up at her sister and pouted. “Ponine, when will I be allowed to go to those meetings of yours?! I’m old enough!”
“If you sneak in, you don’t need permission…” Gavroche winked, elbowing the teenager girl who grinned back at her little brother. Éponine gave both of them a glance as she wrapped an arm around Azelma’s shoulder and pulled Gavroche close with her other arm, scratching the top of his head with her knuckles.
“What am I gonna do with the two of you? Little menaces!” She laughed. “Well, it’s not like you can’t go. You just can’t go while we’re having our meetings at the speakeasy… Which has been happening a lot lately.” She eyed Enjolras, who shrugged.
“We can have it in a more… Child-appropriated place next time. I just…” Éponine, Grantaire and Cosette stared at him as if expecting some mind-blowing, overly smart response. But in reality, they all knew he liked having the meetings at the speakeasy because it made them feel important and secretive. “Look. Speakeasies have a whole history about how they were used for secret meetings before. I could go deep into that, but I’m not sure if any of you is interested.”
“Hm. No. I wanna talk about the Barbie movie, actually.” Éponine teased, punching his arm playfully. Enjolras gave her that look as if he didn’t expect anything else but God, did he wish everyone else was as passionate about this as he was, but he knew he was in the minority here, so he just shrugged off, instead.
“Well. What did you think of it?” Cosette looked up at Éponine with a gentle smile.
“Honestly? I liked it a lot. It—”
“I saw you crying.” She teased before her friend could say anything else, grinning that goddamn adorable grin of hers. Immediately, Éponine can feel her cheeks warming up and she noticed everyone else was looking at her, Gavroche with a smile as mischievous as Cosette’s.
“Oh, please. I wasn’t crying!”
“Weren’t you? At the very ending? When Billie Eilish’s song started playing?” Cosette crossed her arms, looking way too fierce for someone so cute and so short. Grantaire seemed to be holding back a laughter which immediately made Éponine want to kick him in the balls.
“Shut up, princess.” Cosette emitted a sound which was actually one of Éponine’s favorite sounds in the world - her fucking giggle and it immediately became impossible to keep acting mad. Instead, she just rolled her eyes and took Gavroche’s hand in hers. “Anyway… What do you guys wanna do now?”
“Aren’t you guys hungry? We could grab a bite.” Grantaire suggested and Ponine mouth a “thank you”.
She was always hungry.
“McDonalds! McDonalds!” Gavroche exclaimed excitedly, receiving an eyeroll from Azelma in response.
“Gavroche, please, again?! Everytime we go out you wanna get stupid McDonalds!”
“Shut up, Azelma. You like Burger King.”
“A Big Mac will never be a Whopper!”
“Children, please.” Éponine demanded, squeezing both of their shoulders gently since she was still holding them. “Behave or I’m taking you home.”
“No, you’re not. Moms are picking us up.” Azelma blurted out without much thinking.
But of course, those words felt like a dagger that went straight into Éponine’s chest.
She knew it was better for her little siblings to have an adoptive family. Of course she did. They were doing great there, their mothers were wonderful and she would never want them to have it differentlu. But sometimes. Sometimes it still hit her that she should be responsible for them. She should be their legal guardian instead of convincing herself and letting them convince her she should go to college instead.
“Azelma.” Gavroched called her out, as Éponine stayed silent.
“I… Sorry, Ponine, I didn’t mean it like—” The younger girl blushed.
Éponine remained silent still, her mind running a thousand miles per hour until she felt Cosette’s hand on her tense shoulder and relaxed a little.
“Don’t… Worry, Zelma.” She forced a smile. Cosette’s hand brought her back to the present time, reminding her that there was too much exposure to show that much vulnerability. As much as everyone there already knew most of her wounds, it didn’t mean she liked showing them around. She didn’t want pity from any of them.
“What if we all go for Taco Bell?” Cosette suggested in an attempt to diffuse the subject.
“Oh! Taco Bell!” Gavroche repeated, his face opening up in a smile again. “I bet I can get there before you do!” He teased Azelma.
“I’m sure you can, I’m not running you, Gav.”
“…I am.” Grantaire smirked, untangling the jacket that was tied up to his hips and throwing it on Enjolras. “Let’s go!”
“Hehehe, okay!” He ran against the young boy in a straight line, since Taco Bell was not so far and Enjolras sighed longly, grumpiness on his face. But at the same time, there was a soft smile there.
“You’re so in love, it’s disgusting.” Éponine teased.
“I think it’s kinda cute.” Cosette smiled brightly.
Yeah, you know what else is cute? You.
Éponine sighed at the thought and kept making her way towards the place with the other girls. Azelma, like any teenager, had her phone in her hand at all times and Éponine was sure she should be watching TikToks or something like that until her own phone buzzed.
“Are you gonna tell her?”
She glanced at her sister with a deep frown to which the teenager simply shrugged.
“Tell who what?”
“*Oh, come on. Yk what I mean. Are you telling Cosette you’re like totally in love with her and that you’re even more gay than Enjolras?”
“Why on Earth would I do that?”*
“Because I can’t stand watching you staring at her like I’m watching some stupid Netflix lesbian rom-com, Éponine!”
Éponine sighed longly. Again. She knew Azelma was right. She did have to tell Cosette about her feelings sooner or later. It had been at least 6 months since she started feeling like this and it only seemed to get worse.
But.
The idea of making things strange between them made her heart ache more than anything else ever could. It took them some time to even overcome their past and become friends. Most of all because of how bad Éponine felt for how she had treated Cosette in their childhood. For the person the used to be towards her. A bully. A horrible little girl.
But that was all in the past. Even though sometimes Éponine would still think she wasn’t worthy of Cosette’s friendship, let alone her love.
Unfortunately, every time she thought of confessing her feelings, that would be the first thing that came up to her mind. Did she even have the right to want to hold that sweet girl in her arms? Was she allowed to want to kiss her and caress her hair and hold her hand?
She didn’t have a reply to that question.
“I’m sorry, ‘Zelma, I’m not sure.”
The teenager shrugged in disappointment, going back to texting her friends and doing other things. They finally reached Taco Bell as well and as they got in line, Gav and Grantaire were already waiting to get their own order. Éponine’s phone buzzed again.
“*I paid for Gavroche’s, btw. You don’t have to worry about paying me back.”
“R… Please…”
“It’s not a favor. I genuinely like the kid. So are you gonna tell Cosette tonight or?”*
She glanced at her friend, mouthing a “What?!” to which Grantaire simply shrugged,while Gavroche started making faces and motions as if he was kissing someone. Éponine’s entire face warmed up and she looked away, hoping Cosette didn’t notice, but the girl seemed focused on choosing her order.
“What’s with all of you wanting me to confess to her tonight?! This isn’t a fucking double date, R. We’re taking the kids out and we invited Enj and Cosette. Nothing else.”
“I hate gay people.”
“You are ‘gay people’.”
“I still hate them.”
They found themselves a table and, once again, started talking about the movei they had just watched. Azelma, apparently, was a fan of Sasha which of course she was. Everyone agreed that the monologue given by Gloria is one of the most impactful scenes they’ve ever seen in cinema and loved the Ken musical number. Cosette didn’t really say much, but she admitted to crying in a bunch of scenes and every single one of the girls had a Strange Barbie.
At some point during that conversation, Azelma whispered at her older sister.
“We used to play together a lot, didn’t we? Before…” She lookd down for a second. “At the Inn.”
“Yeah…” Éponine smiled. “Yeah, we did. We had a lot of dolls and we liked to dress up the cat…”
Azelma smiled with a bit of nostalgia, taking her sister’s hand under the table.
“I’m… Truly sorry about what I said before. I… I hope you know that I didn’t mean it like that. You… You know you’ll always be my big sister, right?”
Éponine had to bite her lip with a bit of strength to keep her eyes from watering up. She shook her head and pulled the girl to herself, pecking the top of her head.
“And you’re my baby sister. Nothing can ever replace that.”
She didn’t notice Cosette looking at them with a warm smile.
The group walked together for a little while. Gavroche wanted to go to a toy store to look at waterguns, meanwhile R and Enjolras ended up excusing themselves, too tired to keep hanging out.
Éponine was sure they were going away so they could have sex. But she wouldn’t say anything, she could tease R about it later so once goodbyes were done, the rest of the group made their way to the toy store, Gavroche running straight to where the NERFs and such were while Azelma went to look at collectables.
Éponine just stood in between halls, unsure of where to go, deciding to take a look at the board games. They did need a new Monopoly since R had dropped half of a wine bottle over their cards.
There were other interesting games to take a look at as well. Éponine picked up a box to read and almost jumped as she was taken from her focus by Cosette’s voice.
“Hello!”
“Cosette, for fu— Oh?” When she turned her way, she couldn’t see the beautiful girl. At least, not fully. Instead, she held a huge teddy bear in front of her face and Éponine could barely see a mass of golden hair behind the plushi.
“Uh… Hello?” She let out a short laughter. “Cosette, what are you doing?”
“Who’s Cosette? I’m Monsieur Todd!”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. She could kiss her right there in the middle of a fucking toy store for being so adorable.
“M. Todd. Right. I’m sorry. I’m Éponine.”
“That’s a very pretty name, miss!” She raised the bear’s paw for Éponine to shake, which she did. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“It’s… Very nice to meet you too?”
“Glad to hear that, miss. Did you know you’re very pretty?”
Éponine blushed. Cosette was always really nice with all the compliments and sweet supportive things she would say. There was nothing else to it as much as she wished there was.
“Well,thank you, monsieur! You know… You’re a handsome bear yourself. And I know a very pretty girl too.”
“Oh, thank you kindly! And do you? Does she have a name? I would like to send her my regards.”
“Well, my good monsieur. Her name is Cosette.”
Cosette giggled, hiding her face further behind the bear.
“Ah! I shall find this Cosette… She’s very lucky a girl like you thinks she’s pretty!”
Éponine wasn’t so sure of that.
“Éponine, this is the gayest shit I’ve ever seen.”
Her phone popped up with a notification with a text from Azelma again. She felt as if she would explode at any given moment since she knew her sister wasn’t wrong. But it didn’t mean she was right either. As much se she tried she couldn’t possibly find any reason for Cosette to actually flirt seriously with her and not just playfully.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Gavroche with a smug grin on his face as she carried a big box containing a huge water gun.
“Ponine! Ponine! I found it!” He showed her the toy proudly. “Do you think my moms would mind if I bought it?”
Again, Éponine’s chest stinged a little, since normally he would ask her directly if he could buy something. But she repeated to herself it was better this way. They were better this way.
“I… Well. Did they give you enough money for it?”
“They did! And I’ll still have 5 Euros!”
“I don’t see why not, then...” The boy’s face beamed with a smile and he ran straight to the cash.
Cosette seemed to notice Éponine’s mood shift again as she put M. Todd back in his place and took her hand. Again. As if it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Are you taking anything?”
“You know. We need a new Monopoly. But I’m making R pay since it’s his fault. So not really.” Cosette giggled and nodded.
“Ah, yes. The… Wine incident.”
“You say the as if it was the only one.”
Both girls giggled before following Gavroche to the cash. Azelma warned him that their moms would pick them up soon and Éponine was not going with them this time. She had slept over a couple of times and their moms were always very dear to her. But she didn’t really have it in her to deal with that that night.
“Do you wanna stay a bit more, Éponine? Just the two of us” Cosette asked, her big eyes seeming awfully pleading.
…and how could she ever say no.
“I’m not… I would love to stay more.”
“So, I know I’ve decided to leave M. Todd at the toy store, but I do have a much more fun way to get plushies…” She said as soon as they left Azelma and Gav to go with their moms, taking Éponine’s hand once again (that was surely happening a lot), starting to drag the girl… Somewhere.
“A… More fun way?”
“Yes, Éponine! There’s getting in a store, choosing a fluffy friend, paying for it… All of that is great and all, but where is the fun in that? Where is the adrenaline?!”
Éponine frowned.
“Hm… I don’t know?”
“See? Nothing like this!”
She let go of the girl’s hand only she could point at the thing staring in front of them with both arms. A big glass box with a metal claw at the top and a bunch of plushies who seemed to desperatly need some help as they were huddled together on top and around each other.
“A claw machine.” Éponine pointed out as if it was obvious. She didn’t get it, but Cosette had a fire in her eyes she wasn’t sure if she had ever seen in the girl before. She bounced at those words, unable to contain herself.
“A claw machine, Éponine! You know what that means?”
“What?”
“I must conquer it.” Determination seemed to fill her up and Éponine didn’t think she had ever seen someone so passionate. Perhaps Enjolras when he was leading up one of the meetings and they started getting on heated debates but even that didn’t’t seem to come close to whatever beast had just possessed Cosette as soon as her eyes crossed one of those machines.
“Hm… Okay. Let’s… Conquer it?”
“That’s the spirit!” Cosette took her hand again, finishing their way as she dragged Éponine towards it. She walked around it, trying to analyze which plush was easier to get. “Okay… Okay. That red cat seems to be easy enough… But maybe that blue duck is also a good option…”
Éponine didn’t think she’d survive much more. Everything about Cosette was fascinating and adorable and she didn’t think she’d ever have get of it.
“Hm… What about that sheep?” Éponine pointed out, trying to cooperate.
“The tracks won’t reach it… See?” She pointed up and Éponine realized she had never truly analyzed what the tracks to a claw in a machine looked like before. There was a limit to how far they could reach, then. That’s why the plushies that were closest to the glass always seemed to be the easiest but were never picked up.
“Huh. Interesting.”
“Yeah… Gonna reach for the cat, I guess.” She put an Euro into it and set herself in position, sticking her tongue out for concentration because of course she did.
Éponine watched the claw moving and she tried to help Cosette with it, standing beside the machine and telling her to go a little bit to the sides or the front or back. Cosette followed up her instructions, along with her own calculations, until she was finally satisfied with the position.
“Okay… Here we go!” She pressed the button and watched expectantly, as did Éponine. She could feel her heart rate raising up a little with expectation and she had to admit, this was much more fun than she expected or remembered.
The machine picked up the cat. It seemed to be lifting it up, until… It dropped.
“Oh, fuck!” Éponine jumped, a bit startled. She had never seen Cosette curse before. “Joke’s on you, fucker. I have three more!”
She was kinda into it.
She finally got the cat on the third try and as soon as the machine let the little thing go, she picked it up and bounced in excitement, hugging the cat and nuzzling her face against it and wow, Éponine is surely jealous of that plushie.
“Still one more, but I don’t think I’m getting anything from this machine.” Éponine pouted to that and watched her fail the next try. “It’s fine, we’ll find another. I’ve seen about 4 in this mall. One of them has big plushies!”
“You wanna play in all of them, don’t you?”
“At least once!”
At the end of the night, Cosette had five new plushies. The red cat, a shark, a (big) wolf, a bunny and a cow and Éponine couldn’t help but be impressed by Cosette’s abilities in those machines. She helped her carry the plushies and they ended up picking up a bag to make it easier for Cosette.
“Too bad the stores are closing…I’d love to spend a little more time with you.” Cosette said as they sat on a bench and started putting the plushies inside the bags.
“You… Would?” Éponine smiled softly. “Or do you just want an excuse to get more of these?” She teased, shaking the cow in front of her. Cosette laughed and picked it up, hugging it, before putting it into the bag.
“Well. Yes. But…” Again, she took Éponine’s hand.
Only this time, she interlaced their fingers together and brushed her thumb against the back of her hand.
“I do like spending time with you, Ponine.”
It felt like she was short circuiting. Her fingers interlaced with hers, the nickname, how soft-spoken she sounded, the thumb brushing against her skin.
Éponine’s heart beated ridiculously fast against her chest.
“I… Like spending time with you too.” Cosette smiled and let go of her hand. She tapped her chin and grinned.
“Would you… Like to sleep over? You can borrow one of my clothes and I have an extra toothbrush…”
“Your… Dad wouldn’t mind?”
“I don’t think so! I’ll just let him know I’m bringing a friend home!”
“…then yes, I would like that very much.
The ride to Cosette’s home was pleasant as both girls chatted the whole way, talking mostly about their friends and Grantaire’s other wine incidents, bodies completely turned on each other’s direction, knees touching slightly.
The 20 minute ride felt like 5 minutes since the Uber had stopped before any of them could even notice. They both thanked the driver and hopped off of the car, Éponine gasping as her eyes caught sight of the gate that stood in front of the huge home that could only belong to Cosette.
She didn’t even know they still had houses like this in Paris.
“Holy sh—Oh! Hello, monsieur!” She cut herself off as she saw an old man standing on other side of the gate, opening it to the both of them. She knew it was Cosette’s father as she still remembered his face from so many years ago. And certainly, he looked older now, but there was no mistaking him.
“Hello, there. You must be Éponine.” He smiled, giving space so both she and Cosette could come in, extending a hand to her. “I’m Fauchelevent.”
She shook his hand, nodding.
"It's very nice to meet you, monsieur."
She wondered if Cosette had told him who she was, but considering the man acted as if he was just meeting her, she either didn’t or he would not touch the subject unless Éponine did. Which she wouldn’t, either. So, were that the case, they could both live in ignorant bliss.
There was a fucking pathway to get to the house — which Éponine could only call it a mansion — and a beautiful garden around. She remembered Cosette had told her about how much she liked tending to the garden once, and how she appreciated the little bugs that would come into it. How she would try to have as many bee-friendly flowers as possible and clearly, she was doing a very good job at that. Everything in that garden was lively and alluring.
As much as Cosette herself.
The inside of the house was just as polished, beautiful and well decorated as Éponine expected. She tried not to look too mesmerized so it wouldn’t make her look ridiculous, but God, did she want to inspect every little detail in that place.
“I can give you a house tour tomorrow?” Cosette suggested. “Then I can show you all around the garden, too…”
“Sure. Sounds good to me.”
“So you’re heading to your room, then?” Fauchelevent asked, his daughter nodding.
“Yeah… I’m pretty sleepy and I’d still like to hang out with Éponine a little bit more before bed.”
“Okay…” He nodded, before frowning at the bags the girls were carrying. “Got anything good, darling?”
Cosette grinned. The man sighed, but kept smiling.
“It was the claw machine, wasn’t it?”
“You got it!”
“Don’t let her take you to dark side, Éponine. There’s no coming back!” He joked, to which Cosette threw herself in his arms, hugging him tight. Éponine chuckled a little.
It was… An adorable sight. Clearly, those two loved each other quite a lot and he was a great dad, but sometimes that made Éponine feel awkward. She wasn’t sure about what to do or how to behave when that kind of affectionate behavior was happening around her so she just looked away and admired the place’s decoration again.
“Let’s go, Ponine?” Cosette called as she let her father go and smiled at her friend who nodded.
“Excuse me, monsieur. Good night.”
“Good night, Éponine. Good night, darling.”
“Night, dad!”
Cosette’s room was as adorable as Éponine would have expected. Perfectly organized, nice colors, cushions. Perhaps a little bit darker than one would expect upon meeting Cosette but Éponine knew she was a goth at heart.
What she, for some reason, didn’t predict, was that there would be so many plushies. There were shelves upon shelves of them. A lot of those seemed to have been acquired from claw machines, but others were bigger, or looked older.
And on the top of her bed, there were two Teddy bears, a bigger one about the size of her head and a smaller one; the bigger one appeared to be very old and while the smaller appeared newer, it also seemed to be an old friend.
“I know… I have a lot of them.” Cosette said as she opened up her closet to get clothes for Éponine to sleep in. “It’s becoming a problem.”
Éponine giggled, approaching one of the shelves and picking up a bunny that seemed super fluffy, digging her head straight into it.
“Oh, fuck, it’s so soft…” She rubbed her face against it, enjoying the sensation.
Cosette had a soft smile on her face, eyes glancing at her as if she was the most precious thing in the world.
“Heh… Yeah. It is…”
Éponine put the bunny back in its place, pressed a penguin’s beak and a cow’s tit and kept making her way around Cosette’s room, checking on what else she had on her walls — they were big walls — and stopped when she found a photo mural.
Most of the pictures involved their little group. There was a picture of that one time they all went to the aquarium and Combeferre kept blurting out random animal facts. One of when they tried to settle something for Grantaire and Enjolras — before the two of them started dating officialy — and ended up failing terribly. A couple of pictures of the one time she, Cosette and Marius had a picnic at the park and someone asked if they were a trouple which made Éponine want to bite the person, Marius blush like a motherfucker and Cosette simply grin and say “yes, of course, how did you realize?”. Among other memories of fun days their little group had had.
There were, of course, pictures of her and her father. And a picture of him carrying her a smaller version of her on his shoulders, probably not too much after they met each other as children. Except Cosette already looked much happier and healthier than she last remembered her as a kid.
And then, there was a single picture of her and Éponine, just the two of them. She remembered that. Courfeyrac had taken that picture at Jehan’s birthday party earlier this year. It was one of Éponine’s favorite pictures as well.
They looked oddly like a couple in it with the way her arm was around Cosette’s shoulder and the shorter girl’s arm was around her waist. She didn’t really expect that Cosette would like that picture as much as she did.
“You have some great pictures here, Cosette…”
“Heh, I know.” She walked towards Éponine, offering her the clothing she had taken for her. “Here. Don’t you wanna change?”
“Are you sure it’s okay? I don’t mind sleeping in these.”
“Ponine… I insist.”
“Thanks…”
“If you’d be more comfortable, you can change in my bathroom.” She pointed at a door. “There’s also an extra toothbrush in the mirror. You can use it, it’s new.”
“Right. Thanks, Cosette.”
The clothes, of course, smelled like Cosette. Lavender and peach. And Éponine would need to try her best not to look like a fool, smelling the very same clothing that was literally on her body all the time.
When she came out, Cosette had also changed clothes and brushed her teeth in another bathroom. She sat comfortably on her bed, remote control in hand as she browsed through her Smart TV. She tapped the spot beside her on the bed; Éponine obeyed, sitting there.
“We have a guest room but if you wouldn’t mind, I think it’d be much more fun if you shared the bed with me…? It’s big enough for us both and what’s the fun in sleepovers if we can’t chat until we crash?”
Éponine was sure her heart would come up through her mouth with that question. Her whole body tensed up a little and she felt herself warming up. She wasn’t expecting that. With how rich she knew Cosette was, she had assumed she would just sleep in the guest room.
But God, did she want to say yes.
And Cosette was right. Talking to her all night long wouldn’t be bad.
“I mean, if you wouldn’t mind… I’d like to talk to you all night long myself.”
“Okay!” Cosette smiled widely. “Awesome! Is there anything you’d like to watch or… I can just let some music play. I’m not very sleepy yet. Are you?”
“Not really.” She smiled.
“Okay!” Cosette hopped off of the bed. “But! First things first… You need to choose a plush to sleep with you.”
“Hm… Any of them?”
“Except for them!” She pointed at the bears on the bed. “Macaron and Madeleine are off-limits. But every other plush is fair game.”
“Of course…” Éponine laughed softly and again, she felt ridiculous for how much she needed to kiss that girl. She got up fromthe bed as well and picked up the same bunny from before. “I kinda like this one a lot.”
“Heh, she’s a good choice.”
“What’s her name?”
“Lacy.”
“Cute.”
They ended up settling on watching silly Youtube videos, giggling together and ending up in a loop. Before any of them could realize, it was 2am and Cosette had laid her head on Éponine’s shoulder at some point neither of them could remember. The silly videos faded into a playlist containing some of Cosette’s favorite songs.
Late nights are funny. The further one goes into the night, the more open their hearts seem to become. And in her sleepy drunkenness, as Cosette watched the videos playing, the rest of the day played in her mind. She took a deep breath and looked up at Éponine.
“Hey, Ponine.”
“Yeah?”
“You know how I got tense in the cinema and you held my hand?”
“I do… What was that about?” She could kind of guess Cosette’s reply. Even if she wished it wasn’t what she expected.
“Well… It was… Your mom. You and Azelma a little bit, perhaps. But it wasn’t your fault.”
Éponine swallowed, placing a hand on Cosette’s head, fingers massaging her scalp softly.
“I… I’m sorry. Please, tell me what it was.”
“Hey. I’ve already told you.” Éponine’s caresses felt so good against her scalp she didn’t really wanna pull away, but she also wanted to look at her as she said that so unfortunately, a sacrifice had to be made and Cosette sat up straight again, looking at Éponine intently. “You don’t have to apologize. It was never your fault, Ponine. You were as much of a child as I was…”
“I know, it’s just…” Éponine looked away, avoiding Cosette’s gaze. “I just... Sometimes I wonder how much better than them I actually am.”
“Éponine…? You… You know you are better than they could ever be, don’t you?” She placed a hand on the other girl’s face, holding her chin and making her look at her gently. “You’re good, Éponine. I saw it today… I mean. I’ve seen a dozen of times. But I saw it today. How good you are to your siblings, how kind. And to me as well. You took care of me more than once today.”
“I—” Éponine could feel her eyes tearing up, chest heavy. “If I was truly good for them, I would be their legal guardian. I wouldn’t just… Let them have a new family.”
“Éponine.” Cosette’s tone was a bit more firm, but she relaxed, going back to her most gentle tone. “You are doing the best you can. For yourself and for them. They’re living in the best conditions they could possibly live in.”
“I—” Éponine didn’t really have an argument against that. Cosette was right, of course, but.
Well, maybe she was right. And she just had to accept it. Eventually, she would be able to forgive herself for that.
“You?”
“…Nothing. I don’t really think I have a response to that.” She cleaned her eyes. “But you were gonna talk about yourself. This isn’t about me.”
“It’s alright. It’s just…” Cosette sighed. “She would always… Remind me of what a piece of trash I was. And how I…” She trembled for a moment. “How I… Didn’t deserve. Any of what you and Azelma had.”
“Cosette…”
“No. No, I know. Ponine. I know. None of it is true and I deserve all that is good in the world. I believe that, I promise.” She gave her a reassuring smile. “I just… I just need to let this out, if that’s okay?”
“Of course.”
“Unless it’s triggering for you, somehow?”
“No, I’m okay. My mommy issues are not nearly as bad as my daddy issues.” Cosette giggled softly.
“Anyway. She would always… Tell me these things. And I believed in them for so long, Éponine. I believed that I wasn’t worthy of love, of good things, of toys… But. My mama, she left this for me.” She picked up the bear. “So even when I thought I wouldn’t have anything. That I didn’t deserve anything… I was reminded that my mother had loved me once. And she left a little part of that lov which I could take anywhere with me…” She hugged the plush tight and placed a soft kiss to its head. “And then, when papa picked me up, he… Wanted to give me a toy. And I asked him for a plush as well.”
She pulled up the second bear, the smaller one.
“I asked for another bear because I thought Macaron could have a friend… So I called this one Madeleine.”
Éponine smiled at the sweetness of it. Even down to their names.
“Plushies have always kept me company… They’ve always been a reminder that I’m loved, no matter what.”
To Éponine’s surprise, she picked the bag they had taken that day and took all of the plushies out, spreading them on the bed in front of Éponine.
“So. I wanted you to pick one.”
“…What?” Éponine frowned, looking up at Cosette. “You’re… Giving me one?”
“Mmhm. So you can carry a reminder that you are loved with you.”
Loved.
Of course, she knew Cosette didn’t mean like that, but it didn’t mean her heart understood that and that it wouldn’t speed up and also make her cheeks grow warmer.
“…Ah… Cosette, that’s… Are you sure?”
“Yes. As you can see, I don’t play around when it’s about plushies.”
Éponine giggled. Cosette did have a point. She smiled and faced each of them, until she picked the bunny. For some reason, they were really calling her attention that day.
“You like bunnies, huh?”
“Apparently…” Éponine laughed a little, holding the plush close to herself. That was such a sweet gesture from Cosette. It made her feel silly and giddy and as if her heart would jump out of her chest and as if the butterflies in her stomach would just all fly through her mouth. All at the same time.
Cosette sat back beside her.
“May this bunny be a reminder that you deserve good things, Éponine.” She yawned. “Hm… Maybe we should go to bed. Unless you want to do anything else.”
“I—”
She deserved good things. She deserved good things. She deserved good things.
“Cosette…”
“Yeah?” She looked at her expectantly, with a soft smile, leaning a bit closer to Éponine, their faces practically inches apart.
“I wanna tell you something. Before we sleep.”
“I’m listening…” Cosette opened up a smile, picking up her friend’s hand.
“I… Really want to kiss you.”
“Do you?” Cosette’s smile was a silly one now. One that was shared by Éponine at that point, whose voice got softer, hand holding the other girl’s face softly.
“Very much so.”
“Hmm…” With a giggle, Cosette closed the gap in between their lips, kissing Éponine softly, but still firmly. Éponine placed one of her hands on Cosette’s back, bringing the girl as close to herself as she could while Cosette held both sides of her face and kept caressing her.
When air became a need, both girls were smiling and Éponine pressed her forehead against Cosette’s, breathing her in. Lavender and peach but so much better than just her clothes.
“Hey, Éponine… Take in this moment.” Cosette said softly. “You know what this is?”
“What?”
“A reminder that you are loved.”
“So are you… Never forget that.”
Cosette looked at the plushies on her bed, then at Éponine’s adorable face, letting out a sigh of happiness.
“I won’t.”