Chapter Text
Luis hadn’t checked the time before he fell asleep but right now he could feel the nights toll catching up with him. Between his own body aches and general football pains he already had enough on his plate and Leo and Neymar both deciding to make guest appearances on his day of relaxation only fueled the fire brewing in his joints. For somebody who was only thirty, he already felt so old - price of football he supposed.
He’d gone to wake Neymar up but he was nowhere to be found. The only evidence of him ever being there were the rumpled sheets in the guest room and the capful of missing bubble bath. Luis didn’t pay much mind to his disappearing act. He had probably left early anyway so he would be on time to training but he had thought he would at least wake him up and tell him he was leaving, maybe even have breakfast with him.
That was irrelevant now. He was already pulling into Camp Nou, groggy and feeling more irritable than usual. They had a match in two days time and he would have to find some time to catch up on the sleep he had lost.
Leo, along with some other members of the team, was already there when he came in but there was no sign of Neymar. Probably running late or even holding off seeing Leo as long as possible. He didn’t blame him, he would have done the same too.
“Morning,” he yawned into Leo’s ear as he gave him a hug.
He hugged him briefly before continuing to shine his boots. Luis eyed him intently but the man seemed unbothered as ever. If Neymar hadn’t come to him crying and told him what had transpired during their date, Luis would have thought it went well or that the date never happened at all. Leo seemed far too level headed for someone about to face the person they’d destroyed mere hours earlier.
He tugged the boots onto his feet, glancing up to meet Luis’ weary gaze when he finally took note of it.
“What?” He asked nonplussed.
“Nothing,” Luis replied.
He dug through his locker, changing into the fresh training hit he had brought with him and packing away his duffel bag neatly.
Just five more minutes till training and Neymar still wasn’t here. Strange, even for him. The whole team was here now, all chattering among themselves and waiting patiently for training to start
Luis finished getting dressed before sitting beside Leo who was scrolling aimlessly through his phone.
“So?” He asked.
“So what?”
Either Leo had the best poker face Luis had ever seen or he truly did not remember coming over to Luis’ house the night before.
“About last night…”
Leo’s face reddened and he hid his eyes behind his hair.
“Yeah…sorry about that. Kissing you and all.”
“Well don’t go shouting it,” Luis muttered irritably. Truly it didn’t bother him but Leo’s nonchalant behavior coupled with his inadvertent confession that he did in fact remember going to Luis’ house was putting him further on edge. “And that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“What are you talking about then?” He asked, genuinely confused.
“Neymar?” Luis all but shouted, earning him a few sideways glances from Jordi and Iniesta that he willingly ignored. “Did you talk to him?”
“Oh.” Leo’s can-do expression faltered for a second to give way to dejection but he quickly replaced it with a soft smile. “Well, no but I thought about what you said on my way home.”
At least Luis’ best efforts had not been entirely in vain. There was still hope yet even if these two were possibly the densest couple he had ever met.
“Yeah, and?”
“I think I’m going to ask him out again. Clearly this time.”
Luis figured that would be the easiest solution, to simply try again, but he knew the problems that would entail. Leo didn’t know he had been told what happened on their date but knowing what he knew, Luis was certain asking Neymar out now would be a terrible idea.
He had always been the kind of person to sit and lick their wounds for a while before making amends and he figured now would be no different. Except maybe for the fact that Luis was sure with 100% certainty that Neymar would forgive Leo in less than a day rather than his usual three to fourteen. He could still remember the cold shoulder Neymar had given him for four days straight after he had lost his favorite set of headphones. You would think he had killed his cat or something.
“That isn’t such a good idea.”
Leo furrowed his brow. They were talking in hushed voices but he knew he had heard Luis right. Less than five hours ago he had been practically advocating for their union now he was telling Leo to put a pin in his plans.
“Why not?” His tone was accusatory.
Luis thought carefully about his next words. He didn’t want to risk Leo finding out he had lied to him about not seeing Neymar that morning. Leo’s cold shoulder was never as intense but unlike Neymar, he was more likely to hold a grudge even if he claimed not to and Luis knew he would get him back in his own way if he found out.
“You said you messed up. If I was Neymar, I wouldn’t want to be asked out again the day right after.”
Leo considered it for a moment as he thumbed the edge of the bench they were sitting on.
“Okay, then what should I do?”
The team had started heading out so they got up and followed suite. Neymar still wasn’t there, maybe he wouldn’t be coming at all today.
“Make it up to him.”
Leo hummed before they all began running laps around the field.
Despite Leo having slept the same if not less hours than Luis, he jogged energetically as though all his life problems had been miraculously solved. Or maybe it was just Luis’ sleep addled brain playing tricks on him but either way he was not enjoying a single moment of this. The morning sun was hotter than usual and was relentlessly beating him down into the ground. Meanwhile the air was thick and each drawn breath slipped out of his lungs much faster than he would have liked.
Sometime during their last lap, Neymar came rushing out the door. He looked like shit which guiltlessly made Luis feel a little better about his own state of fitness. Hurriedly he talked to Lucho before trailing after them. They all flopped on the grass, the laps they’d run weighing them into the earth with huffed breaths and sweaty conversation.
Leo watched Neymar circle the field with a hawk’s eye. He ran an extra three for being late but to Luis’ surprise, he did not join them after his warmup jog. Instead he joined Phillipe. On any other occasion Luis would have thought nothing of it but Neymar didn’t even bother saying morning to them, in fact he didn’t even spare them a glance besides the thunderous look he had offered them before standing in Phillipe’s personal space.
He was tempted to stalk over and drag Neymar away by the crook of his elbow so he could sit with them but that was possibly the most unreasonable option possible. Had they done something to make him mad? Leo he understood but what had he done. He had practically swallowed him whole a few hours prior, the least he deserved was a good morning. Luis would make sure to talk to him once Leo was out of sight.
They continued on with their morning drills, each one making Luis snappier than the last. His breakfast had been insufficient and he was sorely regretting opening the damn door at all. He should have just slept, their problems really could have waited till morning.
The team stretched companionably but whatever conversational efforts he made were lost on Leo whose eyes remained glued flat to Neymar’s every movement. He could only huff in annoyance as Leo sat next to him, completely ignoring the PT that was poking and prodding at Luis’ back - the current root of his body aches.
One second he was running and next thing he knew Ramos’ knee was lodged in his back. Nothing major, nothing displaced but it still hurt like a bitch anyway and the ugly bruise forming made him feel much worse than it actually was.
If Leo hummed one more time to Luis’ questioning, he was going to slingshot him out of Barcelona so instead he payed focus to the pain his body had decided to continue dealing unto him.
Training seemed to drag on longer than usual that day but he managed to get through with only a few scrapes to his foggy mental state.
They were all headed to the locker room and lucky for him Xavi dragged Leo away by the shoulder to talk to him about who knows what, giving him the perfect opportunity to steal away Neymar from Phillipe who admittedly looked happy but confused as to why Neymar had decided to stick to him like a bur on fur the whole morning.
He shuffled them both towards an alcove in one of the hallways where he was sure nobody would find them nor bother them.
“Neymar,” Luis started. He was calm but the annoyance was clearly simmering below the surface. “You just left this morning.”
But Neymar only focused on his cleats. His teeth were clenched and his arms were crossed tight across his chest. If Luis didn’t know any better, he would think he was mad at him.
“What’s wrong with you?” He frowned but Neymar continued to deal him the silent card. Luis’ patience was wearing thin. There was only so much one could handle in one day but he afforded Neymar the benefit of the doubt. He was probably just still upset and it was seeping through the cracks. “Ney, what’s wrong?” He asked gently, placing one careful hand on the back of Neymar’s neck which was quickly shrugged off.
“What’s wrong?” He snapped. It took Luis by surprise. He hadn’t realized the other man was so angry with Leo but looking closer at his glowering emeralds, he wasn’t so sure at all the anger was for Leo. “You’re really going to stand there and ask me what’s wrong. Un-fucking-believable.” He scoffed.
“What did I do?” Luis defended.
“I saw you two so you can drop the act.”
For a moment Luis felt like he was on one of those American TV shows where they pranked superstars like him. Any moment now he was expecting a film crew and host to jump out and laugh about how good they got him. But that didn’t happen. Oh how he wished it had. The confused look on his face made Neymar’s expression burn ten times brighter.
“You’re really going to keep it up,” Neymar scoffed in disbelief. Luis’ act made him feel all to exposed, he needed to get out of there.
He turned to leave but Luis caught him hotly by the arm, dragging him back in till they were almost chest to chest. It was one of the few times Luis’ height and strength became all too apparent to Neymar, making him feel claustrophobic so he roughly pushed off Luis’ hand.
“Neymar, I have no idea what the hell you’re so mad about. I didn’t do anything.”
Screw being claustrophobic, Neymar was mad and he wanted to draw blood.
“Didn’t do anything!?” He bellowed to which Luis had to shush him. “I heard you ask Leo out! I heard him tell you you’re beautiful!” He took a step back as though Luis’ very presence was vile and scorching. The tears were visible in his eyes when he said his next worst. “I even saw you kiss him.”
The pieces were finally coming all together. Neymar had overheard them and though the worst.
“Ney we were talking about you,” he tried to soothe but that only further upset Neymar.
“I get it was funny to you both that I had a crush on Leo but it wasn’t funny to me,” he sniffled. The tears hadn’t fallen but Luis knew they would be coming anytime soon. “I really did- do like him,” he muttered helplessly.
Luis felt paralyzed. There was no way Neymar would believe anything that came out of his mouth. Not now. Still, he didn’t like seeing his friend so dejected and so his second instincts kicked in, forcing him to reach out to Neymar but he flinched before he could even touch him.
The scuffling of a pair of boots interrupted whatever he wanted to say. Neymar straightened up and looked Luis in the eyes.
“I can’t believe I actually came to you this morning thinking I could trust you. Or rather I can, it just never occurred to me I had to watch my back around you. I don’t want to talk to you or Leo,” he huffed. He turned out of the alcove heatedly only to come face to face with Geri. Neymar faltered but his expression soon hardened and he brushed past him.
Luis wanted to chase after him but Geri was quick to block his way.
“What the fuck is going on?” He asked.
Luis looked around for some kind of escape route. He could already feel a headache brewing and Geri was never good at smoothing away problems. But maybe this one time Geri was exactly the meddling kind of person he needed. So he looked around the still empty corridor a couple times before dragging Geri back into the alcove with him.
Cathartic would be the only word Luis could use for how he felt. Several hours - technically days - of him having to deal with those two was driving him dangerously close to the border of insanity. It felt good to know somebody else was going to suffer with him. So he let it - besides the kisses - all out, complete with over the top gesticulating and frustrated scrunches of his hair while Geri listened not so carefully considering the several questions he kept asking.
“See your first problem was thinking they’d be smart enough to figure it out themselves,” Geri jabbed after Luis was done. “They’ve been doing this for years now. The whole team can see it…probably even the staff and fans too,” he added thoughtfully, “no you should have come to me in the first place. You know I’m an expert matchmaker,” he grinned wide and toothy like he was some the universes answer for a problem that shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place.
Luis raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest. He had already managed to drive the matter straight into the ground, how much worse could things get bringing Geri on board.
“Okay so what do we do?”
“I will handle Leo, you go and talk to Phillipe, he’ll handle Ney.”
Bringing more people into the mess seemed the most unwise of decisions they could possibly make but currently, Neymar didn’t want to talk to him. Luis went along with it and if he had any qualms with the plan, he quickly pushed them down.
They split up, searching for their respective targets. Luis to the medical rooms and Geri to the locker rooms.
“Hey,” he smiled, when he finally found Phillipe in the third room, stretched out on his stomach.
“Hey Luis,” he smiled back, putting his phone away.
If Luis hadn’t already known him previously, he didn’t think he would have been able to divulge anything to him, no matter how well he knew Neymar.
“Listen I need your help.” He made sure nobody was listening in on them before taking a seat on the opposite bed.
Once again he ran through every detail about the past few days’ events, expertly leaving out the kisses too for less incrimination on their parts. Phillipe listened intently, only finally asking questions when Luis was done giving him the rundown.
“So what am I supposed to do?” He asked slightly confused.
Luis wasn’t entirely sure what part Geri had planned for Phillipe so he could only shrug uselessly.
“I don’t know it’s Geri’s plan,” he groaned.
Saying it out loud now - Geri’s plan - made him feel a lot more stupid for allowing there to ever be a plan by Geri. This wouldn’t end well and he knew it.
“Listen, I’ll go find him, okay? I’ll be right back.”
He left the medical rooms but just as he shut the door, he was met with a ticked off Leo heading straight towards him. Luis figured Geri had already gotten to him but judging by the look on Leo’s face, he wondered for his own sake what exactly Geri had said to him.
“Leo,” Luis began. He needed to explain the problem to him. Things were quickly spiraling out of control and he needed to smooth things over as soon as possible.
“You saw Neymar this morning?” Leo asked, the fiery disbelief visible through the glint in his eye and the strain in his voice. Great. “I asked you and you said no.” Just great.
Truly this was mostly his fault for ever trusting Geri to not make things ten times worse but this was far worse than Luis could have expected.
“Leo,” he sighed tiredly. He didn’t even have the energy needed to dig himself out of this hole.
“Not only did you lie to me but you kissed him too?”
How he possibly found out about that was a mystery to him but he was 70% sure it was somehow Geri’s fault.
“Le-”
“Save it. I thought I could trust you. Clearly not.”
Leo brushed past him just like Neymar did, leaving Luis in a stunned stupor.
Now not only was he on Neymar’s blacklist, but he had somehow managed to offset Leo too. This was just wonderful. He really wanted to go home now but they still had second training.
He headed in the direction Leo had come from, figuring getting as far away from him as possible would be the smart choice, only to come face to face with the devil himself. The worlds stupidest man alive Gerard Piqué.
The man looked panicked but it was nothing compared to the stormy look painted across Luis’ face.
“Have you seen Leo?” He scrambled.
Luis quickly took a hold of him and dragged him into the nearest empty supply closet - they needed to stop meeting like this.
“Asshole! What did you do!?” He fumed.
It was so cramped up in there and it only served to make Luis even angrier.
“Me?” Geri threw his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t do anything I swear!”
“Then why did Leo just come and bite my head off?”
Geri took it personally. Here he was going out of his way and using his precious time to try and help Luis out of this sinkhole meanwhile he was throwing unwarranted accusations against him.
“Probably because before I could get to him, he bumped into Neymar,” he bit out with an annoyance laced tone.
Luis cooled down for a moment and let his head thud softly against the closet door. It seemed the universe had made it its mission to work against all of Luis’ best efforts. He closed his eyes and briefly imagined a blissful world where he wasn’t caught in the middle of a strange love war that he had inadvertently started. It was peaceful but Geri had to open his big mouth.
“Look, we have to find Leo and Neymar. Leo still doesn’t know I’m on your side-”
“There are no sides,” Luis grumbled but it was easily ignored.
“-and Neymar doesn’t either. If we play this smart we could easily resolve this before the end of the day.”
Luis allowed himself to be hopeful. Geri’s plans were almost always hair-brained enough that they managed to work through sheer dumb luck. Almost.
“Really?”
“Yes. Now, did you talk to Phillipe?”
He nodded yes. At least one thing was in order.
“Great! Okay, now here is what you are going to do…”
He leaned in close and told Luis his part of the plan. It was quite possibly the worst possible solution to the problem but considering he only knew half of it, Luis figured it just might work. Everything was falling into place and they just had to take the few remaining steps towards the finish line.
They waited until they were done with their second training before striking their plan into motion.
Phillipe jumped onto Neymar’s back earning him a very unenthused response. Neymar was most definitely still upset but still, he grabbed him and pulled him off the pitch, following along with the plan Geri had told him after they left the supply closet.
Shortly after, Geri slid up next to Leo as cool as possible, dragging him off the pitch and away from throwing constant daggers at Luis back. He was already talking quietly in his ear, rehearsing the lines he had practiced for the plan.
Geri had to pull several short strings to make it work but the plan was already working.
Phillipe took Neymar to the locker rooms were a large bouquet of red roses was waiting for him. Pinned onto the side was a small apology note. Neymar looked at Phillipe in confusion but he got no hint in return.
This was strange and something told him, he wouldn’t like where this was going.
Meanwhile Geri dragged Leo off to the some empty room and presented him with a similar bouquet and apology note then spun a tall tale about how Neymar himself wanted to clear the air. ‘He told me himself Leo’ he’d said to Leo’s disbelieving gaze.
And just when Neymar had put two and two together, Geri entered with Leo glued to his side.
Luis entered a few minutes later but sure enough things had already gone horribly wrong. The four occupants in the room were deeply embroiled in argument with one another.
“-id Luis put you up to this?” He caught from Neymar’s furious tone.
Luis made to turn and make a run for it but he was spotted before he could get very far.
“Luis!”
Now would’ve been a wonderful time for the earth to open up and swallow him or better yet, to leave Barcelona entirely.
“Neymar,” he smiled nervously.
So much for leaving Geri in charge of the plan.
His finger was pointed accusingly at him and Luis felt his mouth go incredibly dry.
“Puta! What do you have to say for yourself?”
Luis looked uselessly around the room. Geri looked like he would rather be anywhere but there while Phillipe was making it his sole objective to shrink into the walls of the locker room. Leo looked furious but it was no comparison to Neymar who was practically on fire. The veins in his head looked painfully jagged and his gaze was venomous with the promise to bite. Luis intended to leave with his life so he fumbled for words in his mind in an attempt to undo the mess Geri had made but as he opened his mouth to try and salvage his soul from Neymar’s fury, the door swung open and in came in the untold part of Geri’s plan.
The band was loud and gaudy, singing whatever love song Geri had asked them to play.
If the look on Neymar’s face had been terrifying before, it was bordering hellish now. Trust Geri’s plans to either work magnificently or blow up in every bystanders face. Even Leo looked like he was about to pull out a knife at any moment and kill Luis himself.
The three of them ganging up on rival players and general annoyances had always pleased the anger fueled side of Luis but watching his two best friends turn wolffish against him was enough to make him feel like the smallest man in the world. Here he was being served on a silver platter, apple in mouth, to the fitting tune of a three man band playing his final swan song and there was little he could do about it.
“You know what? I don’t even wanna hear it,” Neymar snapped out. He turned on his heel and walked straight through the band, making sure to send their silly little guitars and portable drums flying to the floor with a loud clanging. “And stay out of my love life,” he shouted before disappearing completely.
Luis turned back to Leo. He hoped he could at least get him to see reason but just like Neymar, he was only angry and a furious Leo was the stuff of nightmares. His jaw was deadlocked in place and his eyes looked ready to kill. They burnt holes straight through Luis’ body but his mouth remained shut which scared Luis more than if he had just shouted at him.
He didn’t bother showering and instead grabbed all his belongings and walked up to Luis who shuddered from the radioactive heat pouring off him in waves.
“Fix this,” he ground out and then he was gone.
Luis turned to face Geri who looked about as sinless as Judas. He wanted to shout at him, beat him up, shove him into a locker, shoot him into space, anything and everything but one of the band members spoke before he could drown his teammate in a sea of obscene language.
“You’re gonna have to pay for that,” he said, pointing at the broken guitar.
Luis could only growl in frustration before leaving the locker room too.