Chapter Text
The committee room is stupidly large, with four small speakers arranged across the ceiling, a multimedia player, and two doors leading to the same hallway. In a normal analysis of a dentistry classroom, its size is proportional, but it appears much larger when there are only five people gathered in a circle.
"We could have a mask ball."
"Sorry?"
"Yeah, why not? Like, masks are cool."
The dialogue was initiated randomly by Crystal and Jackie, the two facing each other in the awkward circle. The order of people can be given by: Jackie, Randy, Ellie, Crystal, Nat and Lottie , the chairs have enough space for anyone who wants to go out to do so without worrying about the noise of the chair feet dragging across the tile.
"That's stupid" Charlotte said with an expression that shows all her derision towards the girl on Natalie's right, the one who didn't hold Charlotte's gaze for even five seconds before looking at the ground, towards Jackie's Vans.
"You must understand a lot about stupidity, Charlotte"
Crystal looked up at Charlotte, the brunette in question who didn't change the expression on her face, just switched the direction of her gaze to Natalie, the blonde who stared at her with nothing but boredom on her face.
In the coldness and unpleasantness of Natalie's closed eyes was where Charlotte met rejection. Where from the first time she caught the eyes of disgust she knew that all her arrogance and tyranny would not be able to shake whatever that fragile-looking figure carries within herself.
Surprisingly, Randy quickly got tired of that silent battle that everyone seemed interested in.
"Okay, we don't have much time, so, since Jackie isn't going to explain, I'm going to talk about the reason for the last minute call to the two of them over there."
Randy's speech made Ellie smile, Jackie sigh in irritation and Lottie look away from Natalie, the two changing their expressions to something more inviting trying to sound mutually interested.
"In short, Jeff is an idiot and he called too late, so the band kicked him out and now we have these…" Randy took his own cell phone out of his pocket, which has an invoice on the case, "10 minutes, to think of a number for the other idiot , who is the director, make some money available for us to carry out this idiocy."
"Is this some language vice?" Natalie thought out loud.
"I'm just irritated"
"Okay" Jackie stands up with a clap of her hands to get attention. "But I'm kind of grateful for Jeff's stupidity, without it we wouldn't have the talented Lottie or the competent Natalie with us in this year's organization."
Natalie furrowed her eyebrows in fear of where the conversation was going as she noticed Charlotte soften at Jackie's compliment, just enough to look grateful before taking a confident stance again.
"Natalie has the ability to deal with most technical issues while Lottie just can't be called an artist because she keeps all her material hidden."
"I said I could sing anything, Jackie" Crystal, realizing that they were about to put Lottie on some pedestal, thought it best to speak up while Natalie's presence was still something strange and comforting. Jackie turned on her heel to speak facing Crystal:
"And you can, I only gave priority to people from outside at the first moment because I was afraid of overloading you, but as the two of you will be involved in this, you can talk to Natalie, especially, since she will take over the production."
"I go?"
"If that's okay for you."
A knock on the door and it was opened, the head and badge of one of the college employees protruding into the large room.
"Guys, 3 minutes, I think y’all should get organized to leave."
Randy looked at the time on his phone again, alarming himself at something before standing up abruptly.
"My ride is already there, see you later, guys."
And he left before anyone could answer him, almost running over the employee who was still near the door.
An audible sigh from Jackie made everyone's attention return to her.
"Well, that wasn't as productive as I hoped it would be"
Silly to think it would be productive in any way. That's what Natalie thought as she let out a yawn and stood up, her yawn being echoed by Charlotte to her left.
"Jax , I think the initial idea of taking an average value based on previous years is fine, we're not really sure what we're going to do."
Charlotte said, also standing up and crossing her arms below her breasts looking at Jackie's frustrated figure with her head tilted as if she were a puppy of the cutest species of dog.
Jackie slowly agreed and Charlotte went to her, extending an arm around Jackie's shoulders, guiding her friend in a half-hug to the living room door.
Natalie was getting ready to leave, picking up her backpack from the floor and taking her headphones out of her pocket when an "Oh!" echoed through the room and she saw the two girls standing in the hallway. Jackie had turned around with her face partially hidden by Charlotte's hoodie, the brunette in question confused by the sudden exclamation that brought some excitement to her pouting friend.
"Natalie, next Friday the team will organize a party at Wilderness, the bracelets are on sale until the day of the party, but we can pull some strings so you can get in without worrying about prices." Jackie said with her voice a little muffled by the fabric of her sweatshirt, Natalie completed her movement with the headphones placing them properly in her ears.
Natalie knew there was a party next week, Shauna had mentioned that she was thinking about paying the entrance fee.
Wilderness is one of the few university bars that are still open around the college, and is one of the main meeting points when teams need to raise money from students and create social events.
"I know."
"You’re going?" It's Charlotte asking, the brown waves hitting Jackie's face and she grimaces. A look and a tone that Natalie doesn't know how to identify.
"Maybe, if I'm not busy."
★
"I can't believe you were invited, you're going to come in and drink for free, I hate you." Shauna says as she gets into the passenger seat and knocks on the JEEP door with undue force.
"I don't know if I'm really going, maybe they haven't even said anything, in most cases I'm just your driver, if I get in: ok; if I don't get in: ok too, I have a lot to do at home."
"Playing that weird bomb defusing game with Kevyn isn't much of a commitment."
Shauna is a little dismissive and Nat shrugs nonchalantly. The journey to Wilderness continues in silence, when they pass a traffic light Nat allows herself to pay more attention to the friend next to her, how Shauna chose to wear a dress that shows a little more skin than her usual shirts, returning to drive, Nat catches a glimpse of Shauna's anxious movement, in the restlessness of her hands wrapping around the strap of the bag that rests in her lap.
While Natalie found a place to park, Shauna adjusted the paper bracelet around her wrist before pulling the little piece of plastic that protected the adhesive area and attaching the yellow and blue ribbon perfectly.
The car engine is turned off, but the doors remain locked.
"Shauna, are you okay?"
"Yes!" Shauna's eyes widen when she realizes that her enthusiasm doesn't seem like that of someone who is in the best description of "fine."
"Why? Do I look too much? Do you think I exaggerated?" Shauna 's desperation puts Nat on alert, she immediately raises her palms, showing herself unarmed by any judgment, the leather of her jacket creaking with the movement.
"No, no, it's just that you seem worried."
"It's just not our type of program, right, Nat, a university party organized by athletics, you know? I think I'm just insecure."
"It makes sense…" There is silence for a moment before Shauna speaks again:
"I was happy that you were in too, I'll feel more comfortable if I mess up."
Shauna 's hands , which have returned to weaving the bag strap.
" Hey , don't say that. I'm going to come in anyway now and I'll always be around, if I start to feel like this shit sucks, we'll leave, closed?"
"Thanks, Nat." Shauna smiles with her eyes and without showing her teeth, in a way that Natalie can see all the sincerity behind the thanks.
"Alright! Let's see what this bunch of playboys can offer."
Inside the bar, in a corner leaning against a foosball table, Charlotte appears passive, free from the constant threat that is her presence, her red skirt matches perfectly well with the tiara of the same color she is wearing, her white t-shirt has three buttons just below the collar that remain tightly closed completing her image of a well-behaved girl, not even the brown boots that go almost to her knees can transform her presence into something intimidating.
"We need to talk." She sentences coldly.
Greg who is in front of you quickly changes his body language, the smile dies, and his entire body becomes something his mind is very aware of, the fabric of the shirt that holds his arms, the parts of the baggy jeans that don't touch his skin, cold toes inside socks. It's a general feeling of anticipation and strangeness that causes immense discomfort, like a horror film that makes you feel bad for watching it, as if you shouldn't be watching that story.
"It seems serious, are you sure you want to talk now?"
Greg's bad feeling is not for nothing, he ended up being too honest with Jackie before a philosophy test, completely forgetting that she is perhaps one of Charlotte's best friends and a bit of a gossip, a friend who is the middle ground between Laura Lee and Mari.
"You told Jax you're insecure."
"I did not say that."
"So, she lied to me? Is that what you're saying?"
"No, I'm saying the facts have been distorted."
"At the price of what?"
"How would I know?"
Charlotte sighs, sounding exaggeratedly bored.
"Tell me your problems, Greg, so I can tell you mine later."
"Sure, you want to do this here?" He extends an arm, showing the current situation in the bar. It's all pretty decent, people having fun in the dance circle, others swaying their bodies casually with their drinks in hand, people chatting in line for flash tattoos and sticking athletic stickers on their arms and thighs. "In the middle of brotherhood?"
"Brotherhood? Is that what we're calling it now?" She laughs briefly before returning to her previous expression. Greg rolls his eyes, sometimes it's noticeable how hard-working he is in his attempts to seem like more than a stereotypical player.
"Right. Charlotte…" He is serious now, as best he can and hearing the name instead of the usual nickname Charlotte raises her eyebrows with a smug little smile "I think highly of you, even though you are generally a very difficult person, I like you... I really like you. But I have no idea what the fuck you want with… me or us."
"You know there isn't one us."
Greg's face was already red from the alcohol and became even more crimson after so much exposure, even with his low repertoire of words to express exactly how he feels. Maybe he's not sure what he feels and this whole spiral he's spiraled into because of Charlotte sounds toxic when said out loud to Collin, his old German shepherd he's had since he was a child. But now there's also a flame rising in his chest, the anger he feels for the way Charlotte takes things growing in his chest with the help of the shots of vodka he drank.
There isn't one us.
It's so easy for her, and it kills him inside. It's so easy for her to treat him like an accessory, a collectible that she carries up and down, for a long time Greg held himself back from this position of adornment because he felt somehow chosen out of all the other guys at university, she pointed at him and proclaimed him hers, because he was easy to deal with.
He didn't talk as much nonsense as the others, he was kind and careful, he knew when to leave her alone, but he also knew what to do when he had to show some posture for Charlotte's sake. He was a very well trained dog.
"So you were just using me?" Greg's look is like a dog that has fallen over from moving, big and shy, his shoulders are down and his head is a simple blank canvas after erasing all perspective he had of the situation until now. While Charlotte's stance changes drastically.
She crosses her arms, furrows her eyebrows and spits out the words, loud enough to attract the attention of those who hadn't yet paid attention to the scene.
"Using you?" She laughs in disbelief and briefly, seeing Greg falter before continuing, "Me using you? Seriously? Why the hell would I use you, Greg? How useful would you be to take me somewhere using you as a crutch? Do you really think I would need it? use you for something?"
Greg's heart rate rises, and he can hear his heart in his ear the same way he does when he runs down the field chasing a pass, his knuckles white as he clenches both hands tightly.
"I don't need you for anything at all."
Greg's chest inflates painfully beneath his t-shirt, which Charlotte ridicules as it holds up the boy's toned arm muscles, an exhibitionist exaggeration that she can't see because it's so flashy to the other girls in the room. A vein threatens to stand out in his neck, the chain hanging around his neck reflecting the yellow light of the environment while following the same rhythm as the boy's unrhythmic breathing.
"It's over, Gregory."
He squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to explode there, whether in tears or fury. And when the hurricane that takes over Greg's figure passes with heavy steps through the door passing between two girls, Charlotte's focus travels to the waist of one of them. Nat and Shauna were holding hands and preparing to enter when they were abruptly separated by the lacrosse player who almost took them both with him, it is only for a split second that the curve of Nat's waist is visible before it disappears again. for the jacket, but it's not the lack of time that would prevent Charlotte from noticing some detail about Nat, even though she doesn't know where this curiosity comes from behind all the times she's cataloged something in the back of her mind that she thinks is essential to make Natalie who she is.
The wind sweeps across Nat's exposed legs, her denim skirt flying slightly while her jacket — this time brown — protects her very well from the breeze that would pierce her if she were to rely solely on the dress shirt with thin, spaced-out stripes that she wears underneath . The strap of Shauna 's dress slips under her shoulders, but they quickly adjust it.
"Fuck, what was that?" Natalie protests as soon as they properly enter the establishment with the door closing with a thud behind them both.
"I don't know, but it looked like Greg." Shauna looks back for any trace of the enraged player through the small frame of the door window.
"Nat! Shauna !" Jackie Taylor emerges with a glass of what looks like whiskey, some fruit ice and energy drink in one hand, and the wrist of another familiar blonde girl in her remaining hand. "I'm glad you came, Nat. Laura Lee, do you still have the bracelet?"
"Of course." The blonde, who Nat can now name many syllables looks out of page with the rest of the party; she doesn't have any glass in hand and wears a white sweater with gray hearts and light blue jeans. She reaches into the back pocket of her pants and pulls out a paper ribbon like the one Shauna has attached to her wrist and hands it to Jackie.
"Nat…" She holds out the bracelet waiting for Natalie to place her wrist under it, which she does promptly and Jackie precisely attaches the strip of paper to Natalie's slender wrist, "now you have free access to the bar and can get a hookah, if you smoke that shit... with all due respect."
" Nay, she only smokes cigarettes." Shauna promptly said and received an analytical look from Jackie, up and down, leaving the puppy-eyed girl embarrassed to take a step back and look away.
Laura Lee closed her eyes and shook her head with a laugh before leaving towards the back of the place.
"I'm going to get a drink, do you want one?" Nat looked at Shauna , wanting to get away from the entrance, Shauna looked at her uncomfortably and Nat took it as a distress message for some kind of panic.
“Let’s go." Natalie grabbed Shauna 's hand and barely took two steps before Shauna was pulled from the opposite side with her hand slipping out of Natalie's grip.
"Can I talk to you for a second, Shauna?" Jackie asked and Nat looked closely at her friend, thinking of answers to give Jackie if she needed to intervene.
" A-ah, yes, of course" The brunette looked at her friend, with an uncertain look, but still showing some indication that she knew what she was doing. "Nat, wait for me at the bar, I'll be right back."
Natalie just nodded before the two girls walked out the front door, Jackie leading Shauna to a place Natalie didn't know about. She wouldn't deny the curiosity that gnaws at her, even more so because Shauna has never mentioned Jackie in any conversation, not with the closeness they seem to have, not how she talks about Van, Taissa or Misty — as friends —, Shauna has always spoken of Jackie as the unmistakable Jackie Taylor of campus.
But she can't demand anything from Shauna, everyone can have their secrets, even if they involve popular girls.
Natalie sits on a bar stool, watching a bartender make a drink for a boy next to her, the metallic brooch pinned to her vest reflects the name "ALEX" in Arial font bold, he has beautiful well-defined curls that sway along with his arms, muscles flexing as he juggles the cocktail shaker.
The place also has a lounge which is a room separated by a corridor, smoke comes out of the door, the sweet and artificial odor of hookah essence invades the main installation and dissipates quickly thanks to the ventilation of the place.
"Hi, what can I do for you today?" The bartender, Alex, leans over the counter looking intently at Natalie with a friendly smile, there are dimples on both cheeks.
"Uh…" Natalie looks away from the probably Latino man in front of her and checks the blackboard with drink names and measurements hanging behind him "number 5, please.”
"A negroni" the boy bends down to grab a handful of ice from the shaker, moving like an octopus behind bottles of gin, vermouth and liqueur.
"Is it okay if I smoke here?" Natalie asks, slamming the pack of mint cigarettes—which she thinks are horrible—on the black counter.
"I'll allow it because your hair is beautiful, but only one, miss…" he extends the last syllable, closing his eyes and Natalie smiles vehemently before offering him her name.
"Natalie."
The pale hands hold the pack tightly as he taps it on the counter three times until the tip of a cigarette sticks out which is the one chosen to burn in Natalie's lungs. She lights it and manages to take two drags before Alex starts stirring the drink inside the shaker.
Natalie held a cigarette between her lips as she waited for the bartender to finish her negroni by pouring the liquid into a glass that was buried in ice and adding a slice of orange.
"Stupid, you can't smoke here."
It's Charlotte pulling the tobacco out of Natalie's mouth and putting it out inside a glass of some unknown drink that seemed abandoned on the counter.
"He didn't complain," Natalie replied, bowing her head to Alex before thanking the boy for his work with a smile. "Thanks, Alex."
"At your service, Natalie."
And with her drink in hand, she avoided the brunette's body and headed towards the outside area of the place. An inviting place with folding wooden tables and chairs, neon lights inside old lamp shells forming a luminous clothesline, tall, thin plants that Nat doesn't know the name of, and a poorly plastered wall filled with elaborate graffiti of a twisted forest with hidden creatures.
"It's ugly to turn your back when they're talking to you, you know?"
"If I can't smoke inside, I came outside to smoke, Matthews. I should demand a cigarette from you, by your logic."
"Get over the t-shirt thing, Scatorccio."
"I want her back."
"I don't remember where I put it."
Natalie rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her drink and walks deeper into the outdoor area, leaving the cute neon lights and graffiti and arriving at a greener space that depicts the jungle well with a narrow trail that branches off in several directions.
"I've never been to this area before, I'm afraid of what I might find behind the bushes." Charlotte admits behind Nat's back, the two walking with the same slow steps, Natalie is already halfway through her drink at this point.
"That's nasty." Tired of holding the glass, Natalie downs the rest of the liquid that superficially burns her throat, she takes the orange slice and leaves the glass on a nearby stone bench, hoping that the employee who catch this in the future doesn't hate her for dropping dishes in random corners. "And aren't you afraid of being here with me? Just imagine what they would think if they saw you here with me" Nat nibbles on the slice, feeling the bitterness of the fruit's skin along with its nectar.
"They won't see me, and me running away here anyway, you take the same path as me is a mere fate of fate" she kicks a branch and Natalie looks back quickly, the lighting in this space is done by very bright green lamps. poorly distributed, but well hidden, so when Charlotte looks up from the ground and finds Nat's gaze checking her own shoulder with that greenish aura, she fears she is about to be possessed by some forest spirit.
But the spell is broken when Natalie thinks she hears something and turns her face forward, directs all her attention to her ears and when she recognizes Shauna's voice she instinctively moves towards the sound.
"Hey!" Charlotte exclaims, but can't help but follow the blonde as she invades the garden and walks through the bushes and small trees.
As she follows Natalie, Charlotte understands what she is looking for, or thinks she understands, because she hears a familiar voice and a totally unfamiliar one and when Nat's slender figure stops at a safe distance behind a bush, barely illuminating Charlotte stands beside her, carefully observing the movement of the two figures who seem to be on edge.
"Is that Jackie?" Shauna has her arms crossed and an irritated expression that Natalie knows very well, Jackie tries to move forward, threatening to touch Shauna's waist, but the brunette takes a step back, taking a step away, Jackie takes a step and Shauna retreats once again, only now there is no path behind her and her back crashes into a tree. Jackie finally cornered Shauna, due to the closeness they achieved, their voices became whispers and Jackie's thin fingers finally rested on Shauna's waist, who now looked intensely at Jackie.
"Wasn't she with Jeff?" Natalie asks in disbelief more to herself than to the other woman beside her.
Charlotte quickly takes out her cell phone that was stuck between the hem of her skirt.
A smile appears on Charlotte's lips and a laugh threatens to reverberate as in her mind she plans the best way to corner Jackie, but before she has the chance to increase her laughter, there is a grip on her shoulder and then Natalie's palm covering her teeth. Completely ceasing Charlotte's grace, which was absorbed by the blonde's icy dermis.
"Shh! Charlotte!" There was static, making Charlotte's body become rigid and tense at Natalie's touch, her face turned awkwardly and came face to face with the blonde's profile, her lips parted, her eyebrows furrowed as her blue eyes watched Jackie and Shauna behind her some sign, fearing that the ghost of the beginning of Charlotte's laughter had reached they ears.
Little by little Natalie's face turns towards Charlotte, the distance between the two being compensated as the movement is executed. Charlotte can smell the cigarette on Natalie's fingertips that rest on her cheek, the stench buried between the nail and the flesh. The salty taste of sweat mixed with the alcohol that must have run out of Natalie's glass at some point and mixed with her skin. The lines of the hand filling the cracks in Charlotte's lips that if she wanted, with one movement, she could occupy the line of destiny of Natalie's hand with the tip of her tongue.
"Who's there?"