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From: [email protected]
Subject: A New Day!
To, Christygirl
Good morning! Or afternoon, I guess… Idk, good day???? Whatever, hi again! I hope you had a good day today! I have questions: how was bible study? Is everything good with your parents? Did you do anything fun?
My day was pretty good. :D I’m sending this a little later than intended because me and my friend Robo went to the arcade today. We have this little trick to make the machines spit out the double the tickets AND we have another trick to make the jackbox machine hit 5000 tickets guaranteed. So, that means we got 35000 tickets today. Well… before they kicked us out :// Apparently there’s a limit on the machines, which I think is bullshit, but whatever. They let us keep our tickets and because no one goes to the arcade except us and a few kids for birthdays—they always let us come back.
And, I know, you may be wondering. Slowpoke, what could you possibly need all those tickets for? Don’t worry, I have a great answer! We’re saving up for the ULTIMATE prize. A tickle-me wiggly doll. And, yes, they are super ugly, and only $49.95, buttttt… Hehe, butt. ANyway, but, Robo and I think it’s pretty funny the stupid doll costs 90k tickets. We have 52000 right now, so not far left. We’ll have to wait out the arcade a few days though because they shut down the jackbox for a bit after we use our trick. And, yes, sure, we could spend our 50000 tickets on the ps5 up there, but we’re too stupid for that and besides Robo uses Xbox anyway so it’s fine.
School, on the other hand, wasn’t so great. I don’t bother taking the bus anymore because the bus driver doesn’t even wait for me most of the time (he’s an asshole) and I know he only does it to the nerds. This girl (I’ll call her… Sally) is super popular and has some power around town and doesn’t even NEED the bus but they ALWAYS wait for her. Me, Panda, and Robo? No way. So I’ve started walking with Robo since we live close, and on the way we meet up with Panda (he lives closer to school and leaves later, lucky bastard). And this would all be perfectly normal and fine, if it weren’t for the biggest asshole at our school. (I’mma call him Mugface). He has a car because his dad is rich or something, and he and his stupid friends splashed us on the walk so I had to spend all of today in a soiled sweater. AND people kept asking me if I pissed myself. ://///
Thankfully my house is on the way to the arcade so I got changed, but it sucks anyway. Ugh. And the school doesn’t do anything about it. It’s tough for us nerds out there. :(
Anyway, let’s forget that! I hope your day was better than mine!! Let me know!!!
Can’t wait to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Slowpoke! <3
Subject: Re: A New Day
From: [email protected]
Dear, Slowpoke
Hey again! Sorry this response is so delayed, the library's wifi is super slow. I’d recommend saying good day, since it’s non-time based and often viewed as more formal. I’ll be honest though, whilst unexpected, the informality of your emails has been refreshing. I’m feeling inspired to do it too.
:)
I’ve never typed a face before! To be fair, I don’t type often, though. I have drawn a face, don’t worry, I’m not that deprived.
I’m glad your day was good, overall. Arcades are a blind spot for me, I do admit, since my father believes the machines are the work of the devil. I just looked up a video on Youtube and they don’t seem all that evil to me. Just very colorful and fun! Maybe I should go to an arcade sometime, there is one in my town but it would be weird to go alone. I’m not sure I could convince Night and Moon to come with me, I’m sure they think arcade games are a devil’s curse too.
Also, tickets? You pay money to potentially win tickets, and then trade them to purchase things you could buy with money? But, you could just buy those things at a cheaper price? Odd, but I’ll take your word that it’s fun. I may not have much access to the online world, but I remember seeing those Tickle-Me Wiggly ads last thanksgiving. I’d bet my dad believes those are devil’s spawn too, though I might agree with him on that. They look super creepy, not sure why you’d want one, but I am trying to be more open minded. So, good for you!
Another question: what is a “ps5”? I tried looking it up but it just looks like some sort of machine? Is it another arcade cabinet or something like that? The same with “Xbox.”
It’s unfortunate that school sucked for you today. Bullies really are the worst, I do have some experience. Even today when I was at my locker, some senior football player called me a really rude name. It even made fun of Jesus, who still means a lot to me. I didn’t do much besides school and bible study, as usual. Night, Moon, and I had a talk about the importance of loyalty and faith in God. I’m not sure if Night picked the topic for today on purpose—I am a little worried he can see right through me and how I’m struggling with fully devoting myself to God. It’s not that I don’t trust what I believe, I just have a feeling there’s more out there than just what I’m told. You know?
If I told anyone in my life I was thinking like this I’m sure they’d already have a bible ready to perform an exorcism. They wouldn’t understand that I can still be the good Christian I am and have questions. One of my earliest memories is of the time I asked my Pastor, I’ll call him Pastor Pasta (see, I can make jokes too), about why God allows suffering. He yelled at me and went on a rant about unquestioning faith and Satan. Looking back it didn’t make all that much sense or really resolve the questions I had—especially considering I’m still thinking of them now. I think it just scared me into never asking anything like that again.
Don’t worry, though. It’s not all bad. My dad is a little more relaxed when it comes to this kind of stuff, though I know he’d never admit it, even when it comes to sexuality. Not too long ago I was in our basement and found an old photo of his first girlfriend. I didn’t even know he dated before my mom! And, to be honest, I don’t think she does either. The old me would have ratted him out, but I’m glad I didn’t. That I’ve changed, at least a little, in these past few months. I couldn’t bear to think about the kinds of things my mother, my grandparents, and even my pastor would have to say about that. About him.
Oh, gosh, sorry if this is too much! I know we’re supposed to think our minds in this pen pal-ship, but if it is too much please just say. I’m trying to get better at considering others feelings and thoughts, and this is my opportunity to really work on that.
Looking forward to your response!
Regards,
Christygirl
From: [email protected]
Subject: You’re Good!
To, Christygirl
Don’t worry about response times, it’s all good! Even if you have to skip a day, maybe two, or even a week, I’ll be here. I know what it feels like to stress yourself out and this isn't what I want this to be. Not like school, not like a job. It should be cathartic! Plus, totally get loosey goosey with the rules of language here! :) :0 :P <3
My friend Panada is a real pedant for grammar and spelling, lol. Me and Robo love messing around with it just to piss him off. Oh, also, I wanted to check! Are you good with swearing??? It’s a huge part of my vocab but if you’re not comfortable I could totally stop. LMK?
To answer some of your questions: There’s no shame in going to an arcade alone, and I’d hardly call them satanic… The most satanic part of my local arcade is the creepy owner who always lurks by the door and watches me and Robo play sometimes…… But it’s whatever. I’d bet your arcade would be as empty as ours, they’ve gone out of fashion in recent years. :/// If you’re up for going I could give you some tips!
Also, leading on from that! PS5 and Xbox are just game consoles. Sort of like mini arcades you put in your house, but you own the games on them forever and can always play them. Oh, and no tickets. Hehehe. I guess you could make your own tickets, though?? Not sure why’d you wanna do that, but you could!
About your friends, I doubt they can read you too well. My school counselor told me that my anxiety makes me project my own negative feelings about myself onto how I think others view me. Maybe you’re doing that with Night and the topic he chose for bible study? :3 And it sucks that your mom and community would be so negative about exploration. I get it a little, my family was resistant when I first came out as bi, but at least they didn’t exorcize me. Well, actually jewish people don’t have, like, exorcisms or hell and stuff but…… You know… They didn’t crucify me. Well, we don’t have that either……
YOU GET WHAT I MEAN RIGHT?
It’s not wrong to ask questions!! Always feel free to share any doubts or feelings you have with me! None of this is too much, and if it ever is I will tell you. Promise you’ll do the same with me, though, okay?
Is there anything you’re questioning specifically or is it general? And your dad seems cool! Or, cooler than your mom. Do you think you could maybe go to him with any of this?
Can’t wait to here back! :P
Sincerely,
Slowpoke <3
Subject: Re: You’re Good!
From: [email protected]
Dear, Slowpoke
I’m starting to think you’re too forgiving. But, thank you, it’s nice to know I can come back to this even if something comes up. Just so you know: I’ll be here, too. I might not always respond right away, but I don’t want that to stop you from talking to me. You know?
As for swearing, I don’t think I mind. It used to get to me a long time ago, and I don’t swear personally, but most people around me besides my family swear so I’ve long since gotten used to it. So, feel free! Just maybe avoid the blasphemous stuff for right now?
From what I saw on Google arcade cabinets and these “game consoles” don’t look that similar, but I guess I’m not much of a technology expert. I wonder how they can make things that are so big to so small? Maybe you could explain that to me sometime, haha.
Perhaps you’re right about Night. I have been a little on edge ever since these thoughts have come to me. Still, I think it’s best if I keep vigilant. I can’t have any of this getting back to my pastor. Or worse, my parents.
I don’t think I have any questions for right now, but I’m almost certain I will in the future. Be prepared. :)
My dad is cool, yes, but I’m still not super sure I could speak to him. I guess I might try and test out certain subjects more neutrally? I’ll see, I think.
You’ve been a big help unloading my thoughts already. Thank you.
Regards,
Christygirl
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: You’re Good!
To, Christygirl
Maybe I’m a bit of a push-over, but what I said still stands. And it’s nice knowing you’re always here too. :D
Shit. Fuck. Bitch. Cunt. Fucker.
Too much yet? Don’t give me too much free range!! Edfhs
Just kidding, I won’t be swearing so don't worry hehe.
I think the concept of consoles might be a bit much for today, I’m too eepy hehe. But I’d be happy to try and explain them, though I’m not much of an expert on how they really work. Bet you could also find a youtube vid on it maybe? :p
I’d say staying vigilant and safe is most important! I don’t want you to let your guard down and get in trouble with your church or something!! Just be safe, k?
I’m open and ready for any questions you have. And, yes, talking about more progressive stuff without a stance with your dad could be good! Just be careful.
I’m heading to bed now, so goodnight! I hope you have a good day tomorrow. :)
Sincerely,
Slowpoke <3
From: [email protected]
Subject: Goodnight
Dear, Slowpoke
Goodnight. :) I have to say the excessive swearing was a little funny. Just a little. Shocking, too. I gasped and covered the screen when I saw it, just in case anyone was looking. (They weren’t, don’t worry.)
Maybe I’ll save the consoles for another time, too. It’s getting late and the library is going to close soon. My parents might be a little upset at how late I’m out, but I'm still within curfew, so they can’t do much. I’ll be safe, don’t worry.
Have a good night. I hope you sleep well.
Regards,
Christygirl :)