Chapter Text
Devastation
Uncle Chandler I Love You Epilouge
In the nineteen years since Rachel left to go to Paris and her friends went their separate ways I have kept in touch with most of them sporadically. Rachel and Uncle Chandler and Auntie Monica have kept in touch with me the most.
Emma is now 21 and Jack and Erica are 19. I can't believe how fast they have grown up. I am so proud of them. Emma is a junior at Marymont Manhattan where she is studying Fashion Design, Jack and Erica are 19. Jack went to Johnson and Wales to study Culinary Arts and Erica is in Boston at BU studying journalism and international affairs. She is transferring to Ohio State next semester so she can bond more with her birth mother Erica. I am really going to miss her when she moves. I recently visited Emma at college and loved hanging out with her. Central Perk has been closed for awhile and a new coffee shop has opened on it's place. We had a great time.
This past Saturday night my phone buzzed at 7:30. When I opened my phone and saw the text message from Rachel my heart fell to the pit of my stomach.
Uncle Chandler died.
My fingers started to shake as I entered her speed dial code and called her right away
"What happened?: I whispered
"He went to take a bath and did not wake up."
"Do we know a cause of death?"
"It is suspected he had a heart attack but we won't know for sure until the coroner's report and toxicology reports come back."
"I didn't even get to say goodbye."
Rachel took a deep breath. "I know baby girl. Neither did I."
"I'm really going to miss him so much Rachel."
" He loved you to pieces sweetheart. His heart may have given out but you always had a piece of it."
I hung up the phone, threw myself down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
My hand immediately flew to my neck where the bat signal necklace hung. The breeze through the window blew across my neck and flew up to my ear gently tickling it.
"Hi honey, it's me."
Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. "Hi Uncle Chandler.." I whispered.
"Don't cry angel. Remember what I said at the wedding?"
I nodded slowly. "You said as long as I wear this necklace you'd always be here for me."
"I meant what I said. I don't want you to be sad that I'm gone okay?"
"Why'd you have to go Uncle Chandler?"
There was a brief pause.
"The coroner's office and toxicologist's don't know yet but I do."
My heartbeat quickened. "You do?"
Another pause
The drugs and alcohol did me in. My heart gave out. It was time to go."
"Oh Uncle Chandler, you died alone just like you predicted that day when we were cleaning out Mr. Heckles's apartment.:
There was another pause.
"I know angel. I wanted to let you know that I was not in any pain.
I dabbed at my eyes. "You weren't?"
"No, I wasn't, I was actually really happy."
"Really?"
Another pause,
"Yes really, I had great friends and I had you baby angel. My best friend."
Fresh tears gathered at the edges of my eyes. "You're my best friend too Uncle Chandler."
"You were always my sunshine girl baby angel. Thank you for brightening all my days."
I dabbed at my eyes. "You're welcome Uncle Chandler Why did you call me baby angel?."
"Because you were my earth angel and your positive attitude kept me going."
There was another ten minute pause.
"Honey, can you promise me something?"
I sat up and grabbed another wad of tissues from the box on my bed side table.
"Yes, I can Uncle Chandler."
"I want you, Auntie Monica, Jack and Erica to take care of each other, okay? The four of you are always the loves of my life."
I nodded and dabbed at my eyes. "I promise Uncle Chandler. I love you."
"I love you always sunshine girl."
A week later I was on a train to Manhattan because I was going to Uncle Chandler's funeral and staying with Emma at her apartment in Greenwich Village. She met me at Grand Central Station..
"How are you doing?" she whispered as she put her arm around me
I kissed my cousin's forehead gently. "As good as I can honey. How about you?"
"All right. I was just as close to Uncle Chandler as you were so it has been really hard for me."
I rubbed her back gently. "I know Em. Do you want to know something?"
"What?"
"The night he died his spirit spoke to me through my bat signal necklace."
Emma's eyes grew wide. "Really? What did Uncle Chandler say?"
I squeezed her hand gently. "One thing he told me was that he happy when he died and not in pain. He also told me not to be sad. I bet he'd probably tell you not to be sad too."
Emma dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. " I needed to hear that. Thanks Janine."
I kissed her forehead. "You're welcome sweetheart. I love you Emma"
"I love you too." Emma whispered
"When is the funeral?"
"Tomorrow morning. Auntie Monica texted me and she is picking us up around four and we are staying at her house."
I nodded. "Okay."
Auntie Monica's mini van pulled up in front of Emma's apartment at 4:15pm
"Hello my darlings."
"Hey Auntie Monica. What time is the funeral tomorrow? "" Emma asked
"10am.
Emma and I nodded. "Okay."
When we got to the house I went to my room immediately to unpack my suitcase.
Auntie Monica stood in my doorway. "Can we talk honey?" she whispered.
I nodded
Auntie Monica sat down on my bed and patted the bedspread. " Auntie Monica's right here angel."
I sat down next to her and she wrapped me in a hug.
"I wanted to tell you about a conversation that Uncle Chandler and I had before he died."
My eyes grew wide. "What did he say?"
"He said that his biggest regret was kissing you at our wedding and how it destroyed his relationship with both of us."
I exhaled. "That's good to know. I always felt guilty over the years about ruining your relationship."
Auntie Monica rubbed my back. "I know baby girl. He loved the two of us so deeply and hated hurting both of us. He told me to tell you he wants you to stop feeling guilty and I want the same for you. Nothing about that situation was ever your fault."
I kissed her cheek softly. "I love you Auntie Monica."
"I love you too sweetheart. I will always be here for you no matter what, okay?"
I nodded. "Auntie Monica, Uncle Chandler's spirit talked to me through my necklace the day he died."
Auntie Monica smiled. "His spirit spoke to me too honey. I am willing to bet he said the same thing to both of us."
"About you me Jack and Erica taking care of each other?"
Tears filled Auntie Monica's eyes. "Yes baby angel. He wants all of us to be together. Do you want to move in with us?"
My eyes met hers. "Absolutely After traveling back and forth to visit you guys for so many years I think it's time for a change."
Auntie Monica kissed my forehead. " I will talk to your parents about you moving in with us with in the next month. Jack and Erica are really excited for you to live with us and I think Emma is excited about you being closer to her too."
I snuggled deeper into her embrace. "I'm so excited Auntie Monica." I whispered.
Auntie Monica rubbed my back. "So are we."
At the funeral I sat in between Uncle Ross and Rachel.
Rachel squeezed my hand. "Uncle Chandler is right here with you today honey." she whispered.
I leaned my head on her shoulder and did not reply.
Rachel kissed my forehead gently. "Uncle Ross and I love you very much Janine."
"I love you too. I am moving in with Auntie Monica soon and can't wait to be closer to you all."
Rachel rubbed my back. "I know. She told me that yesterday before you got here. We couldn't be happier. You have felt like a member of our family for years and now can finally bond and get to you know you better."
At the gravesite I stood between Erica and Emma.
Erica squeezed my hand gently.
I kissed my god daughter's forehead gently.
"Erica, how are you doing?:
She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
"Nothing is going to be the same without him."
"I know baby girl."
There were ten minutes of silence.
"Do you want to know something honey?"
Erica nodded.
"His spirit talked to me the night he died.
Erica's eyes grew wide. "What did Daddy tell you?"
"He told me that he was happy, grateful for his family and friends and not in any pain."
Erica dabbed at her eyes with a tissue "Did you know his spirit spoke to Mom too?"
I nodded. "Yes, I did, He wants the four of us to look out for each other. We were the loves of his life/
"Mom said you’re moving in with us soon. I'm so excited."
I kissed her forehead again. " So am I baby girl. You Emma and I will go on so many fun adventures together and I can't wait. Your dad doesn't want us to be sad, okay?"
"Okay. I love you Janine"
"I love you too Erica,"
Three weeks later I was helping Auntie Monica decorate the living room for Christmas. I grew wistful all of a sudden.
Auntie Monica looked at me. " What are you thinking about honey?"
I smiled at her. " Just remembering that fun day that we had the Central Perk apartment and when you taught me the dance you did on TV with Uncle Ross."
Auntie Monica had a wistful look in her eyes too. "I was just remembering when Uncle Ross dressed up as the holiday armadillo and Uncle Chandler saying that the earth would implode if the Holiday Armadillo and Santa stayed in the same room for too long."
"We had some fun times in the apartments above Central Perk didn't we Auntie Monica?"
Auntie Monica smiled through the tears that were starting to fall down her cheeks. "The hardest thing for me was that soon after Emma was born Carol and Susan got full custody of Ben because they thought Uncle Ross was an unfit parent."
I nodded. "They took him to go to Boarding School in London right?:
Auntie Monica nodded. "Yes, they did. Luckily Rachel was able to reconnect with Carol Susan and Ben when they moved to Paris and he was still able to have relationship with Emma."
"Did Ben ever end up moving back to America?"
Auntie Monica shook her head. "Nope. That's why he wasn't Uncle Chandler's funeral. He has always stayed in touch with us though. We got a nice boquet of flowers from him and his family."
"How many kids does he have?"
"Twins, a boy and a girl. The boy is named after Uncle Chandler and the girl's name is Alison."
"Will I ever get to meet them?
Auntie Monica smiled. "Carol Susan Ben Trevor and the kids are coming to visit us next month. I can't wait to see them again,"
The phone interrupted our conversation.
"Mom.. it's the toxicologist with the results of Dad's autopsy." Jack called from the kitchen.
The phone call lasted ten minutes. When Auntie Monica reentered the living room she was dabbing at her eyes with a fresh wad of tissues. She collapsed onto the couch. and patted the cushion next to her. "Come sit down honey." she whispered.
"What did the toxicologist say Auntie Monica?"
"He overdosed on ketamine." she whispered
"I am so confused. I thought that he was doing infusion therapy to help with his anxiety and depression,"
Auntie Monica nodded. "His last infusion therapy appointment was ten days before he died. I am pretty sure he had extra pills in the medicine cabinet that he must of taken and then he got into the bath tub and drowned."
"His spirit told me he was happy the night that he died."
Auntie Monica pulled me close. "He was hiding his sadness for a long time honey. I think that deep down inside all of us knew that."
Tears were flowing down my cheeks. "He died alone Auntie Monica.. just like he predicted that day when we were cleaning out Mr. Heckles's apartment."
Shock filled Auntie Monica's eyes. "That's news to me."
I sighed. "I was with him when he had his anxiety attack Auntie Monica. He told me he was scared about ending up like Mr. Heckles and as I just said he ended up being right."
Auntie Monica kissed my forehead. "He told me before he died that he was really grateful for all those conversations the two of you had when you were snuggled in your bed together in apartment twenty."
I looked at her. "Really?"
Fresh tears gathered at the edges of Auntie Monica's eyes. "I remember when we first started dating and his eyes lit up whenever he talked about you. That is when I knew that you were such a special little girl. You were his whole world my precious girl and I couldn't be more grateful that he bought you into mine."
I nestled my head into her chest. "I love you Auntie Monica."
Auntie Monica rubbed my back and pulled a blanket over us. "I love you too sweetheart. Let's take a nap okay? We can get back to decorating later."
I nodded. "Okay." I shut my eyes finding comfort in her embrace.
A breeze blew through the open living room window, flew around my neck and tickled my ear,
"I love my beautiful girls so much and I'm so happy you can be together. Look out for Auntie Monica as Erica prepares to move Ohio okay baby angel?"
I smiled. "You got it Uncle Chandler. We love you too."