Chapter Text
To love is to change, and Cale is a living testament to this truth. In a desperate attempt to secure acceptance for his new stepfamily, he took a rather unwise path, resorting to becoming a drunk, at the tender age of ten. The decision, though far from a brilliant plan, reflected the lengths Cale was willing to go to integrate himself into this unfamiliar dynamic.
However, these transformative choices have not come without consequences. The person Cale once was, the joyous presence that once resonated within the Henituse territory is gradually being eroded. The poignant realization sets in, and a profound sense of regret lingers. There's a mournful acknowledgment that Lily, his younger sibling, will never have the chance to experience or encounter that earlier version of her brother—the one untainted by the complexities brought on by his attempt to fit into this new family structure.
Cale's decision to skip the official introduction to his new little sister was not born out of indifference but rather a response to the conspicuous absence of anyone summoning him to hold the newborn. At that moment, the lack of acknowledgment underscored where he stood in the hierarchy of this seemingly senseless household. Despite his initial claim of not caring about the new baby, a small part of Cale did care. This realization prompted him to return later that night, silently slipping into the nursery that cradled his little sister, Lily.
Observing Lily's small and adorable form, Cale couldn't help but feel a twinge of connection, a spark of care that contradicted his earlier assertion of apathy. He knew how to hold a baby – thank you very much – having witnessed Violen cradling Lily before. So, he approached the crib and, with a practiced touch, held his new sister in his arms. It was a moment of tenderness, fleeting yet significant, as it marked the first and final time, he would embrace Lily in such a way.
However, any burgeoning sentiment was overshadowed by Cale's prevailing sense of disconnection within the family. His second encounter with Lily occurred under accidental circumstances, and the ambiguity of her age left him grappling over time. Was she over five, or perhaps around four? Dates and details eluded Cale, adding to the general disarray of his emotions.
On a particular night, burdened by a hollowness in his chest and a relentless coldness, Cale found himself wandering through the hallways. Lily, with her tiny fingers rubbing at her eyes, sensed his unrest and questioned him about it. Caught off guard, Cale clenched a bottle tightly, the tension in his grip threatening to shatter the fragile glass. This vulnerable moment, unexpected and uncharted, revealed a side of Cale that he hadn't anticipated.
The influence of wine became apparent as he ruffled Lily's hair with a heavy hand, his voice carrying an edge as he instructed her to return to sleep. Turning to leave, he was halted by Lily's unexpected words, breaking the silence that hung in the air.
"Drinking too much is bad for your health, so, um, do not drink, or I will cry! Yeah. And, um, good night!"
Her innocent concern stirred a sense of longing within Cale, a desire for connection and understanding that seemed elusive. Yet, even in that moment, he couldn't shake the belief that Lily would eventually learn to avoid him, like everyone else. The anticipation of fear in her eyes, the expectation of anger and temper – Cale foresaw it all. It was this grim outlook that led him to accept his role as the brother Lily needed, resigning himself to the fact that Basan, not him, would be the one to fulfill her expectations.
Despite his love for his little sister, Cale couldn't bring himself to expose her to the darker facets of his world. He was aware that she would only witness a version of him yelling and sneering, his face contorted in disgust at everything but devoid of smiles. A decision was made that no one would witness him smiling again, and Cale had come to terms with that.
Lily deserved a brother like Basan – reliable and responsible – not one who indulged in drinking, was frequently drunk, and deemed himself a useless individual. The love Cale felt for his sister existed, but it was not enough to permit her entry into the shadows of his existence. The protective barrier he erected was his way of shielding Lily from the complexities that defined him, ensuring that she received a brother who, at least outwardly, adhered to the expectations set by the family. Yeah, Cale is too much of a mess... Maybe it is best if he is gone.
Dear Diary,
I can always tell when my big brother Basen has been working. His hands are all messy from the dark ink on his papers, and there's this tired look in his eyes. The smell of books lingers around him, and he's always so absorbed in his tasks. I don't see him much, but I understand that he's always busy.
On the other hand, my other big brother, Cale, is different. He carries the scent of wine, and he seems to get mad a lot. His happiness is elusive, clouded by the habit of drinking. Cale appears to be sad most of the time. It's not that he hates us, but I don't think he really likes being with us. I wish I could spend more time with him, make him smile, and understand him better. It feels like I've lost a brother I never really got to know, and that thought makes me really sad. I just want Cale to be happy with us.
I may be young, and I know people avoid talking about certain things in front of me, thinking I'm too young. But I've overheard whispers when no one thinks I'm listening. Am I mistaken? My nanny once said my brother Cale was happy before my brother Basen and my mother came into the manor. Why are brothers so hard to understand, and why won't people tell me the truth? I just want my brother to be happy, but it seems like Cale doesn't like us.
What can I do to make my brother like me? I want to be stronger, and maybe if I am, Cale will open up and talk. I've decided I am becoming a knight :)
- Lily Henituse