Chapter Text
They hadn’t really… talked, about Refuge. Not yet, anyway. Not that Merle was upset about that. To be honest, he— well, it wasn’t really a choice, was it? Losing his arm was one thing, but if he went back, what would that do? Possibly destroy the whole world instead? Just for his arm? Nah, Merle was a forgive-and-forget kind of dwarf. Or, well, a forgive-but-bring-it-up-whenever-possible dwarf. Y'know, for comedy reasons.
So at least one his half, there wasn’t much to talk about. But on Taako’s and Magnus’s? Egad. There was probably some wild shit that Merle couldn’t even think of. Taako and Magnus were complex. Merle thought he was pretty complex, too, but again— he wasn’t really one to hold onto the past. Maybe that was an aid to him when dealing with the Chalice. Still, it didn’t take much more than a keen eye to realize that Magnus and Taako held onto a lot more than what they let on.
Merle tried not to pry. If they didn’t want to talk, it wasn’t any of his beeswax. It was just… hard, to see them upset. Merle didn’t know when he had started to care. Maybe he always had. Knowin’ him, he probably always had.
Magnus sat on the floor, across from the couch which currently held Merle. Merle was nursing an Earl Gray tea, trying to wind down for the evening. Magnus was on his fifth duck of the day, easily slipping into some kinda trance state with his work. The soft sound of his knife against the wood was soothing. It was a much more steady pace than the first duck had been. It was nearly headless. Merle was sure it’d snap apart if he looked at it the wrong way.
Taako was napping, last he heard. Or just staring into space in his room. He and Magnus were doing that a lot lately and while Merle didn’t want to ask, it was kinda ruining the vibe. They both clearly needed someone to confide in and who else were they gonna turn to? The Director?? Not very likely!
Merle set his tea aside, opening his mouth to speak.
“Shiiiiit.”
Magnus looked up. Merle closed his mouth, looking toward the hallway. That had— that had definitely been Taako’s voice. The bathroom light was now on, though the door was mostly closed. Magnus caught his eyes and raised his eyebrows.
“Should we…?” Magnus tilted his head toward the hallway.
“Yeah, might as well,” Merle said. He hopped to his feet, popping several joints on his way up. Magnus winced, but didn’t comment on it. Merle puttered down the hallway, Magnus behind him. He stopped at the bathroom door and knocked. It pushed the door open a little more but Merle didn’t enter until he heard Taako say,
“Fuckin'— come in, I guess.”
Merle pushed the door open. The bathroom wasn’t any more messy than usual, if you ignore all the shit on the counter that Taako had pushed into a little bag that was currently on the floor. Taako himself was up on the counter, sitting cross-legged and staring at the mirror. A strip of his hair was gone. The razor currently in his hand was probably to blame.
“You, uh, you doin’ okay?” Magnus asked.
“I forgot the razor guard,” Taako said.
“Ouch,” Merle said. That would definitely explain the very, very short cut that was going on on Taako’s said. “Can you just like, uh. Magic the hair back?”
“One: No?? Since when has that been a thing??”
“I dunno, I’m not the wizard!”
“Two: Even if I could, I don’t want to,” Taako said. “Just uhhh— just gettin’ rid of most of it. Nearly all of it, apparently.” He gestured to the strip of hair that was almost just pure head at this point.
“Thought you were growin’ it out?” Merle asked.
“Yeah, well, not anymore,” Taako said shortly. “Changed my mind.”
“Your hands are shaking,” Merle said.
“Either say something useful or get outta the bathroom,” Taako said. “Seriously— just— just stop.”
“Maggie, get me a stool from the kitchen, please,” Merle said, leaning in to snatch the razor from Taako’s hand. “Come off the counter and let me fix this.”
“You—” Taako paused. The bathroom door opened wider as Magnus exited. “You can’t just decide to cut my hair, you gotta ask—”
“It’s my razor,” Merle said.
“It is not,” Taako said. “I’ve had it for years—”
“I remember owning this exact razor,” Merle said as Magnus came back into the room. He held onto the stool, as if unsure if he should put it down or just walk right back out. “Are we cuttin’ all this off or what? I’m just gonna start shavin’ if you don’t.”
“You can’t just—”
“Taako, just shut up and listen,” Merle said. Much to his surprise, Taako did shut up. Now Merle could only hope he did the “listen” bit as well. “You too, Magnus, both of you. I’ve had it up to here—” Merle raised a hand above his head. “—with all of this, okay? The thing with the last mission sucked ass, but you can’t let the past haunt you forever.”
“I’m not—” Magnus started.
“You’re a living person,” Merle said. “You’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna go through shitty things, you’re gonna grieve and wish you had done somethin’ different like the rest of us. I’m never gonna devalue your shit or say it wasn’t that bad but I’m tired of y'all just pretending like it’s nothin’ while acting like it’s everything, so we’re either gonna talk about shit, or I’m gonna make my own relic and root around in your head myself.”
There was a silence after Merle finished. Magnus was gripping the stool very tight. Taako was staring at him with an expression Merle could only describe as stupefaction. Then, very slowly, Magnus set the chair down in front of the mirror. Taako slid off the counter and sat in the chair. Merle pulled himself up onto the counter instead, turning around to face Taako in the chair. Magnus awkwardly sat on the edge of the tub, watching.
“To start with,” Taako said, a touch of hesitation in his voice. Merle switched the razor on and it buzzed to life in his hands. “It wasn’t my fault.”